A Bully Story [Draft - Look for Cleaned Up Version]
** - **did i improve/is it better than my previous stuff?** - **where can i do better and improve?** - **am i getting too wordy and adding too much detail/unnecessary things?** - **is the pace too slow?
Forging Bonds-Chapter 3: Cramming for the Test
Still, our scores hadn't improved by the middle of faore, and dad wasn't too pleased with our progression. i could tell lárus was becoming frustrated, so was i.
The Lecture
Everything you see here is, or could be improved by computers." "in fact, let's start with an exercise.
Krystal and Chase: Swordplay
"he has improved, i will admit that." the vixen replied as chase tumbled once again, "but...i don't think he's ready for the field."
Dal Segno
I knew he was there to help me improve and i will always be thankful for his guidance. the lessons i had with him made me become hyper observant of my lone practice sessions and when i applied his advice i actually did improve.
North and South Chapter 14: Growing (Arc 7 Epilogue)
Kage only nodded in acknowledgment, staying ever silent and stoic despite his teammates enthusiasm to improve on their abilities. hageshi however, had his own statement to say. "i will improve on my own terms..."
First steps: Chapter Two
Any way, tell me what you think, what i need to improve on etc thanks
Chapter 1
"'forms a blade of hardened air over the user's hand and extending for a short distance ahead of it, can be improved, or even adapted, by the use of digi-quips. default attack.'"
A New World, A New Beginning
Hopefully it isnt too bad since its my first story so but if you comment on it, i ask that they be comments in how the story can be improved, please dont tell me how much it sucks or that you didnt like reading.
Ticklish Day
I'll glad to improve myself! zurim belongs to a friend from furaffinity nathan belongs to me once upon a time, in a little house. two brothers were bored. zurim was the big brother, a black wolf.
Feyrahl, FA Ch 2.3
I am hoping that understanding the animals of feyrahl better will improve my ability to help." one of silas' eyebrows raised, as did both of his ears. his tail flicked. "i hardly think that will be the case.
The Legend of Captains Thod and Riva ((Prologue and chapter one))
In the year of 2015a.d. the humans had done a lot to improve themselves and their technologies. global warming, pollution and other events where still being combated by some while others continued to harm the planet.