one nation (poem)
In this "one nation under god", Our sense of right is just a fraud. We pray for death in a foreign country, While people here are ever hungry. We hate the gays for their way of love, Then pass off our hate as words from above. We're afraid of...
All Over Soon
Give me your thoughts and critisism thank you._ **all over soon** written by: jon ballenger [verse 1] with my weapon drawn i begin the hunt at dawn i shall hunt you all down one by one i bet all you can do now is run you don't know
a dark and stormy night
A blanket and he scoots closer and leans on me "thank you for helping me out" "of course this would have been a blessing when i ran away" ----this is my first story please comment the probs and the grammer problems and post your honest opinion positive critisism
my thoughts for the day
I feel retarded but i also feel beastly smart. i need to tell people who i really am and how i really feel. think of me all you want. call me names, critisize me, judge me, hate me, love me, tell me what you think. i care not what you say, all i care about
Pathfinder: Intro
So please post critisisms and comments in the comment section or something. i want to know what you guys think of it s'yeah. be brutally honest. any way... here. .__. nara woke in the abandoned, lean-to shed.
Mew-World: Proluoge
Comments, and helpful critisism are welcome, but no unnecasarry complaints, just because you don't like it.**
Over in that Meadow ( chapter 1, New Friends and Lion Eyes)
( please read and tell me what you think, i love constructive critisism!) fire surrounded them as griffin cried over the wounded body of her friend, ash. oh ash, so kind, so wonderful, the only person who ever befriended griffin.
Strait from the Sales Block
Any comments and critisism are appreciated and i appollogise in advance for spelling errors and grammer. 'take your pick! any sex, any age! we have it all! if i'm lying my hat is ten feet tall!
A Chance Glance
Any and all helpful comments and critisism is appreciated and would be considered quite helpful.
Second Chances: Chapter 1
Feel free to critisize as i am just starting to write for others to actually view so i'll probably need alot of improvement.
The shaman of the sun
I want to be critisiced, not sure how that is written, on everything. of course if you see problems with grammar forgive me, i don't talk english all the time, you know living in mexico and everything.
Past Life Ch 1
Oh, and ps: please leave any type of critisism. i'm sorta curious about my new prespective. ~~~ the story all began 500 years ago... the large manor stood proudly over the green hills. the white walls turned brighter under the bright sunlight.