Horfie, the Selective Service Elf
March 13, 1883. London, De-Militarized Zone. Santa Claus looked at his coal-powered wrist watch. It was just after midnight. A new day was on the horizon, but a grim, sooty future lay ahead. He preemptively nocked an arrow to his bow and let fly a...
Wienners' FACTION - English Retranslation
FACTION, FACTION: It's an abstraction; enigmatic FACTION LIFE. FACTION LIFE: Mysterious, strange, and odd, and confusing us. When I reveal what is behind, my mind perceives unknown material. It's a FACTION, FACTION versus what is...
2021-08-30 Writing in 3D Exercise
"Gronk." The mighty bellow would be music to her ears. The studly song she imagined in her slumber brought to mind dreams of machismo and good wrasslin' arms. Oh, how she longed to hear that voice, but who it would belong to was a mystery for the ages....
2021-08-16 Writing in 3D Exercise
124 was spiteful. 125 was simply trying too hard. 123 was dedication. Nobody had time to sit around coding 123 functions. That would be like thousands of lines of code, and that would mean millions of key presses and countless breaks to go to the...
2021-08-09 Writing in 3D Exercise
It was still early in the waning summer, yet I could see my breath in the night air. The loamy smell of the forest comforted me, and yet, here I was, two past midnight, directionless in these woods. I looked up, but could only glimpse a few tiny stars...
Madness, Starving, Hysterical
So someone bangs the front door in and starts having a shriek fit with her husband. This is unbecoming behavior, and reflects poorly on the entire household since you can probably the next block up the street. So I say, "Shut _up_." Not knowing I...
2023-09-11 Writing in 3D Excersize: Mall, Cooking Pot, Father and Son
The father's name was Bernard. The son's name was Gregory. "Tacos, Gregory. Tacos and pizza," Bernard was saying. "Right, okay." Gregory couldn't hold the camera steady to save his life, but he could vault the counters of the mall food court...
My Spider Dance Lyrics
The wounded soldier crosses the battlefield; what is the price of a purple heart? His soul crusts over bitterly, and I've got baking down to an art! My wicked eyes see eight times what they wanna see. Your miserly practice is oh so...
The Lion, the Witch, the Water Closet, the Pointy Sticks, the Beavers, the Archduke Ferdinand, and the Other Things that Happened
The Lion, the Witch, the Water Closet, the Pointy Sticks, the Beavers, the Archduke Ferdinand, and the Other Things that Happened By Bertha Darnrash **Prologue** There are certain characters in this story. Characters that spend a great deal of...
Mischievous Sands
When I was told someone wanted an interview with me, I was anticlimactic in my acceptance. My schedule had been sparse that week, so it was easy to squeeze in David McHammon, a man known by his friends to value sanity and find comfort in placid...
Lenny Gets a Job: As a Maid in a Mansion
Lenny's progress through the house was very much following suit of how he started. To his own amusement, he found it easy to work faster fixing sink after sink, and toilet after toilet. He hooked pipes together this way and that way, moved...
Bottom Dweller
**Prologue** Up above me now are the eternally lit megalopoli where they have cars flying near the speed of light, doors that are always open for you, and interactive chairs that adjust to your comfort level when you sit on them, all with the touch a...