FSE

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Boss and Daisy dropped the far too cheerful Dani off on the curb outside Boss' apartment building and headed towards the Portland University campus. Boss sighed in relief once it was just the two of them in the car.

"You apartment building looked nice." Daisy piped up, looking in the side mirror at the street they had just come from. "Lots of trees. I like the brick, too."

"I picked it because it's close to the station, and the parking is really cheap." Boss chuckled. "But yeah, it is a nice place to live, at least it was until Queen Dani moved in." He stretched and rolled his shoulders as they sat waiting for an intersection light to turn green. Daisy made a face.

"She scared me a little at the house, but I think... even though she teases, she's a really nice fur." Daisy said with some thought. Boss sniffed.

"Yeah, I've come to realize that she just is the way she is." Boss admitted. "And I'll deny it if you tell her, but she's probably the best partner I've ever had."

Daisy looked out her window and watched the various furs walking along the sidewalks. Tall, short, big and small. Carnivores, omnivores and herbivores all moving around in the same spaces, living separate lives in the big city. A group of teenage school girls jogged up the street, laughing and joking around as they headed off to some hang out spot, their backpacks heavy with books, eyes full of curiosity and life. One of the girls, a Siamese feline, turned and happened to see Daisy watching them from in the car and impulsively waved, beaming at her. Her friends turned to look too and giggled among themselves before they all turned as a unit and rounded the corner out of sight. The light turned green and Boss pulled forward, the moment was gone.

"I wonder..." Daisy whispered, her eyes looking but not seeing now, her mind on something inward. "I wonder what things would have been like..."

"Ah, but you can't go down that road, Daisy..." Boss murmured, his eyes not leaving the road ahead of him. "It's a dead end."

"I know." She nodded, her gaze falling to the glove compartment in front of her, the grey expanse of plastic giving her a blank slate to place her musings. The latch was like a question. Or an invitation. "I know it is. I don't know why I keep doing it." Daisy scratched her cheek, still staring at the dash. Boss glanced over at her and saw the way she was slipping into deep thought. He had seen the young kids too, and seen the way the cat had waved. It made him sad for the little goat riding with him, for the things she had missed out on as a child. The innocent ignorance of bad things and horrible tragedies.

"Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist?" He asked. Daisy shrugged.

"Right after Dahlia they tried to get me to go, but I didn't want to talk, and again when I was in the hospital they tried. I just... I didn't like the idea of... I don't know, I just didn't feel comfortable I guess." She gestured in a hopeless sort of way.

"Maybe you just didn't have the right therapist the first time. It can take some getting used to, and it's not always going to go smoothly the first try."

"You sound like you've been there." Daisy looked up at him curiously, interest sparking in her golden eyes. The tall dog nodded.

"Yes, I've had counseling a couple times." He admitted. "Mostly required by the force, but I have gone on my own when I needed to talk to someone who could give me a non biased opinion about a problem I was having, and because it felt good to talk."

Daisy studied him anew, digesting this fresh information and adding it to the image of Boss she had in her mind. Boss had needed help at one time, just like regular people. Boss had problems too.

"Why did the force make you get counseling?" She asked. He didn't answer right away, but when he did is was quietly, seriously.

"My first year, I was on regular patrol with Sergeant Jackson Nichols my FTO... ah, field training officer, that is... We made a traffic stop at about ten o'clock at night on a Friday, on a little beat up Toyota that ran a red light. And the guy turned out to have a warrant out for his arrest. He pulled a gun on us, shot the sergeant through the window of his car as Jackson was walking up to get his ID from him. I was standing maybe three feet from the back bumper of the car when it happened, observing. I reacted on instinct and returned fire, killed the driver. But it was too late for Jackson, he was dead the second he hit the pavement. I saw his face, and the guy I shot too, in my dreams for a long time." Boss took one hand off the wheel and dug his wallet out, flipping it open and handing it to Daisy. She took it and peered down at the tiny picture tucked into a plastic sleeve amid the receipts and random currency. A stalwart looking Dutch shepherd in a smart blue dress uniform stared up at her. His dark brindle fur was impeccably groomed, and he held a police cap in one paw. He was stern and slightly grey around the muzzle but managed to look kind even though he wasn't smiling. It was in the eyes, the way they were filled with something nameless and noble. He had eyes like Boss. At the bottom edge of the photo in tiny precise lettering was written 'Sgt. Nichols'.

"That's so horrible..." Daisy breathed, shaking her head. "But talking about it helped you?" She folded the wallet and handed it back, imagining what Boss had felt, seeing a mentor die in front of him. And then pulling the trigger and ending a life himself.

"Yes... It did, but it took quite a while before I could move on." Boss put the car in park and Daisy realized suddenly that they had arrived on campus at the main office. Boss sat back and looked at her, his paws sliding off the wheel to rest in his lap. "You know, you have a really great family who love you and want to see you happy, Daisy. I can tell they all worry about you." He watched Daisy carefully, hoping that he wasn't crossing a line. She furrowed her brow and exhaled, thinking.

"I know they worry. I see it whenever I catch my Dad or Mom watching me. My sisters and brothers all tip toe around me and treat me like I'm always one step away from having a breakdown. Which, sometimes I am." Daisy looked at him and her eyes held an edge of panic. "But I can't talk to them about what happened, Boss, I just can't! If my Dad ever knew... My Mom... I would rather be dead." She cast about with overly bright eyes, her breathing growing shallow. Boss reached over and gently took her wrist, engulfing her small hand in his big paw.

"Easy, Daisy..." He murmured, stroking her palm with the pad of his thumb. She took a couple deep breaths in from her nose and gave him a shaky smile. He drew her hand up to his muzzle and pressed the pad of his nose against the back of her hand briefly. "I'm sorry I upset you. I guess I just want to see you happy, too." He breathed in her scent before letting go reluctantly.

Daisy twitched slightly, feeling Boss' warm breath on the back of her hand and the soft press of his nose. A tingly sensation raced down her arm into her chest and she felt her heart give an unsteady thud. At first she mistook it for fear and anxiousness galloped through her along with the sensation of his whiskers as he withdrew. But as he lowered her hand she found that she didn't want him to, that she wanted to feel the heat of his breath again. Confused, she pushed the sensations away with a couple blinks and then he was letting go of her, and it was like it never even happened.

"It's okay. You're right." She admitted, distracted. "I try and ignore it, but it keeps following me around, you know?" She just barely stopped her self from stroking the spot on her hand that Boss had nuzzled and turned the motion into a clasp instead, holding her hands together in her lap.

"You have to find a way to confront it. Fix it. And you deserve that, Daisy. You have to believe you deserve happiness." Boss gruffed, watching the petite figure next to him fidget. Touching her had made him suddenly hyper-aware of her every subtle shift, the smell of her, the way her eyes glanced at him from under her lashes. The way her pulse had fluttered in her wrist against the pads of his fingers.

"I'm not unhappy all the time... Like now... I'm not unhappy now." Daisy blushed as the atmosphere in the car grew thick. Boss' eyes, when she mustered up the courage to look, were deep and mesmerizingly intense. He looked at her with some emotion she couldn't name, poured it into the space between them and set it ablaze. Her pulse tripled as he reached out and stroked her face, slowly, as if taming a wild thing.

They both startled when Boss' phone rang in his pocket, ruining the moment, the loud jangle of his cell rattling around in the small space. Daisy cleared her throat and blinked as if waking from some kind of dream. Boss fished around for the phone and glared at the unfamiliar number.

"Hello?"

"Oh, good, you answered." Dani's voice was cheerful, with the sounds of a bustling supermarket in the back ground.

"Dani? Where are you calling from!?"

"Pay phone at the grocerie store."

"Why?!"

"Well, you wouldn't have answered your phone if I called from my cell, Boss! I'm not stupid, you know." The mare commented smugly and Boss grinned.

"Well if you're such a genius, tell me why I don't just hang up?" He barked, winking at Daisy who quirked her eyebrows in a silent 'good one' expression.

"Boss, as much as I love our little back and forth we have going today, I have a serious question." Dani's voice was serious and it sobered Boss quickly.

"Sorry. What is it?"

"Do you think Daisy will notice if the pumpkin muffins are store bought?"

"....Goodbye Dani."