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Part 5

Finally we emerge out in the courtyard where there are only a handful of people milling about. I spot an out of the way bench and guide her towards it. She's visibly shaken from the noise and shock. We sit and I don't know what to do with my paws, they want to clench but they also want to be on Miki; to be some sort of comfort. I fold them on my lap.

I'm angry and can't find words to bridge this schism; I want to point out that this was her idea, I want to tell her to forget what had just happened and I want to get her out of here but here we are inside the school, inside the courtyard and we're trapped now with the only escape route lay in retracing our steps. She has her face hidden in her palms but I can't tell what she's... doing.

Finally "Are you alright?" The words are like an injured pigeon; lame and sputtering.

I recoil at the regret in her softly spoken words "Are you angry?"

The question remains thick, and I'm not sure how to respond; of course I'm angry, angry at the school, Cindy and at myself for bringing her here. But I know her question runs deeper, I just do not know how deep. I don't know how to answer her.

"Are you angry Sander?" she strikes again, wounding me deeper. She's looking at me but I can't meet her gaze.

"Yes" The truth.

"You're a little angry at me." Her accent is thick with emotion.

"No!" I say abruptly "I'm not angry at you. Why would you think that?"

Her red and white paw crawls slowly into my lap, covering mine "If you're not angry then look me in the eye Sander."

I meet her gaze and for the first time I am not glad about the depths which they delve into my being; my eyes fall back into my lap. I fold open my palms, disgraced, to take the lone paw into mine and take comfort from it for myself. She's right, I want to place some blame on her.

"Sander, do you know why I insisted we come here tonight?"

"In order to teach me something of myself?" There are skulking eyes on us from the hall, I can feel their curiosity.

"I wanted to come here tonight with you so that I might learn something for myself."

"What did you want to learn Miki?"

"In my home we are Japanese Sander. I was born in this country, I have never seen Japan but I am Japanese. I am home-schooled, always in my home and thus always Japanese. I want to feel at home in this country, with you Sander. I wanted to come to learn how to be something else as well."

"But Miki" a sob almost escapes me "I am a reject, an alien to my own people."

She pulls my head up by my chin and forces me to meet her black eyes "And you were lost... but I found you Sander. I found you. And I see now that I am the wrong one to bring you home even if you wanted to be one of them."

Miki leans forward, pulling me closer and once again our lips touch upon one another. The music fades as its bass is reduced to the beating of our hearts. Colours fade as the world is about to disappear.

But I see Cynthia in the background, talking to the guy who knocked Miki down. The bitter frown that decorates her face as she spots our kiss is an ugly thing full of malice.

I ignore her, wanting to focus on more pleasant things; such as Miki's probing tongue slipping between her lips. I pause a moment, unsure, but she steals any reticence with a reassuring squeeze of my paw.

Her tongue enters, inviting mine to a waltz. I am a weak dancer but I think neither of us knows the steps very well; it doesn't matter. My head swims and Miki croons softly as we gently, yet urgently, attempt to climb into each other. There would never again come a more perfect moment in which to die. Death, however, does not flow from this moment but something else.

Abruptly Miki breaks the kiss and I am left with my tongue dangling in the air. She seems slightly surprised which I find odd, she's not looking at me. Ponderously I follow the direction of her eyes to see the old Rhino, Mr. Thompson from physics, standing in front of our bench; I slurp my tongue back into its home with a slight pop.

"Sander!" Mr. Thompson's disapproval is palpable "I hear that you've been the cause of some excitement. And now I find you like this."

It is here that I notice Cynthia behind Mr. Thompson's shoulder: if she were a book at this moment, her title would read "Self-Satisfied: A Bitch's Tale". With her is Brett's buddy.

I get to my feet. Knowing that the old rhino appreciates sincerity and hates dishonesty or side-stepping of the issue; I take the direct approach "Mr. Thompson, apologies, I, we should have known better than to bring our... romance, onto school grounds."

"Yes, you should have and we'll put the issue on hold until I set up a meeting with the Vice-Principal on the matter of your inappropriateness. In the mean time I hear that you assaulted poor Jacob here and cursed at Cindy."

"Her name is Cynthia sir."

"What's that son?"

"Her name is Cynthia," and here an idea strikes me, Cynthia obviously does not have physics with Mr. Thompson and this is exactly the kind of thing that falls into the negative of Mr. Thompson's sensibilities "she likes to tell everyone that her name is Cindy sir." I shrug as if mystified by such a notion.

Her expression rapidly changes at this revelation; she pulls her lip up at me into a disgusting snarl.

The doors to the courtyard are lined with curious peeping-toms, excited by the childish notion of someone getting into trouble. Mr. Thompson's horn homes in on Cynthia like the iron-sights of a rifle "What is your name miss?"

She does not answer right away but her entire demeanour goes slack and her lip trembles pitifully as if on the verge of tears.

"He called me the B word sir." she says plaintively in a practiced tone, so convincing in its sincerity that I'm sure she's used this many times before. When the scrutiny falls on you, you play the part of a victim.

"I did not!" I can't help but burst out. Mr. Thompson waves me to silence.

"What is your name miss?"

"Cynthia!" someone yells in answer from the crowd. At this a tear bursts forth from Cynthia's eye; another weapon in her arsenal.

The old rhino throws his hands into the air "This is getting ridiculous. Sander, tell me what happened."

"Well sir," I start "I introduced my friend here to Cynthia. When my friend spoke Cynthia refused to be civil, I believe the words Jap and bitch were used in the same sentence sir. I did not use the second word myself at any point sir... though I admit I thought it. And I am guilty of thinking it right now."

"And you did not use any such language in retaliation?"

"No, my friend stopped me."

Vanessa's words, whisper into my ear 'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Accept due guilt, o'brother mine.'

"But I would have if she hadn't." I add quickly for Mr. Thompson's sake.

"A wise friend to have." He turns to Miki "And what is your name young lady?"

Miki steps forward with her paws clasped eloquently in front of her. "Miki Miyazaki, sir." she bows demurely to the gargantuan rhino who towers over her "Pleased to meet you."

I notice her eyes flitting nervously over the gathered crowd. She tries for a polite smile but it is fleeting under the weight of scrutiny. Unconsciously I move closer to her, a gesture that is not lost on Mr. Thompson.

"I am pleased to meet you too. We are going to ignore Cynthia's complaint for now. Can you tell me, Ms. Miyazaki, why Jacob claims to have been assaulted on the dance floor?"

"He knocked her down!" I interjected.

"Quiet Sander." Mr. Thompson snaps irritably.

"Quiet Sander!" Vanessa snaps "Let Miki protect you this time."

"It was an accident, I believe." Miki answers.

"I didn't mean to!" Brett's buddy calls from somewhere behind the rhino.

Mr. Thompson smiles for the first time; he seems relieved "Will you forgive Jacob for his clumsiness Miss?"

"I will sir, and gladly, if it would put an end to this matter."

"Good," Mr. Thompson turns to Jacob "And you'll forgive Sander?"

"Yes sir. No problem." Jacob's reply prompts an annoyed stare from Cynthia whom he visibly recoils from.

"May we leave now sir?" I ask "I need to get Miki home."

Slyness appears behind the horn of my physics teacher "If that is all you two are going to be doing." he says with meaning.

I blush.

The crowd opens up for us now, for which I am thankful.

Brett's buddy calls to us just outside the main entrance "Hey Sander!"

We stop. To Miki he says "Sorry about that, no hard feelings. Yeah?"

I'm about to say that there are hard feelings but Vanessa's voice prompts me again "Don't be petty Sander. Belittling him further will only serve to worsen things."

Miki nods simply, before he turns to me "No hard feelings buddy?"

"I'm not your buddy Jacob but sure, no hard feelings."

As Brett's buddy leaves I have one more thing to say but Vanessa pipes up again "Leave it alone Sander!"

I ignore her "Hey Jacob, one more thing."

"Yeah?"

"The next time a pretty girl puts you up to something you should think about her intentions before you agree."

This seems to confuse him "You mean I can't think for myself?"

I remain quiet, refusing to break eye contact. The prick needs to learn not to be manipulated. Miki tugs on my shirt, she wants to leave. Jacob seems suddenly angry "Hey man, fuck you! I said I'm sorry."

Putting my arm around Miki we turn to leave. The walk home seems like a less promising venture than it should.

"Fuck you man!" are the last words we hear from an outsider this evening.