FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

The noise of the tank's growling diesel engine was immense, and there were more squeaks and squeals than if they'd run over a nest of hamsters as they rolled over the virgin landscape. Anar had a map around somewhere on the metal flooring, but it wasn't much use as nobody had surveyed the Immanok orc's territory. Instead, there was a nice blank area with only the co-ordinates for the Warpway exit jotted down in pen by The Dragon marked 'swamp'. It reminded the General of ancient maritime documents filled with Kraken and Here be Monsters in large type. Only for them it was Here be Frogs. As they headed in what was hopefully the direction of the mine that Kallo had mentioned back in the abandoned village, Anar asked what the deal was with elves. In the books back home on his Earth, elves were sweet and lovely creatures that skipped through moonlit glades. They were close to nature and sang lots of songs. They certainly didn't enslave anyone for shiny rocks.

Gritz and Kallo had given their long-eared senior officer some serious side-eye and Anar had to patiently explain to them that he wasn't from their world, he was from a world where the military vehicle they were riding in was a heap of ancient junk fit only for a museum and there were no such thing as elves or orcs outside of fantasy novels.

"Elves is smart, see, sir. They read and stuff. So they have better weapons. Better ways of fighting."

"Everything they have is bigger," Gritz nodded, "big cities, big swords, big shields. We leave 'em alone, but they always come looking for trouble."

"Tell us we're not living right! That we're stupid and like war too much, that if we stopped fighting and read a book and was more like them, we'd be better off. Well, we tells 'em to shove it. So they beat us up and send us down the mines..."

Anar blinked and steered over a big, sturdy fallen log, getting that satisfying 'crunch' as it splintered beneath their metal tracks, "so they tell you not to fight, and when you don't listen, they fight you?"

The privates grunted in affirmation.

"Okay." He thought some more about this as the tank finally exited the muddy water and they climbed to drier land. In the distance were hills, and his gut told him that was his destination. "You're going to tell me the elves send everyone down there, aren't you? Like... kids n stuff."

"Oh yeah! They tell us it's good for us to have a purpose, like. Making fancy armour for them and all that. Stops us making so many babies, too, they don't like that."

"They don't! If we has a famine, they don't help, they say 'you had too many kids, it's all your own fault, if you can't feed 'em all then don't have 'em. But that's just our culture, see. We love kids. And we wouldn't have the famines if the elves let us have more land to farm on."

"That's right! They've got"- Kallo spread his thick green arms wide to emphasise and bruised a knuckle on the tank's sturdy interior. He winced and continued, -"lots of land, is what I'm trying to say. And they don't do anything with it. It just sits there. You think it's up for grabs but if you try to claim it the little buggers are there in a flash, waving their swords and shouting, all cross. They get all the clean running water too, and laugh at us if we get sick."

Anar had heard enough, "yeah, these elves don't sound as nice as I was expecting to be honest."

The Privates laughed, "nice, he thought they'd be nice..." but quietly so their Commanding Officer couldn't hear.

But of course he heard, there might be an engine running immediately behind them, and they might be ringing from the fowl murder that took place twenty minutes ago, but his long ears could still make out conversation two feet away. A tank was not spacious. A cat would be luxury; here there wasn't room to swing a gerbil.

With more pained metal-on-metal grating, he pushed at the levers and steered onto smoother ground, letting the engine turn over full pelt and picking up a fair speed. Everything vibrated. The ground beneath them would be shaking. He knew wherever those pesky elves were, they'd be in for the surprise of their lives when he broke cover and ploughed into view. It must sound like thunder to a race that had never before laid eyes on a motorised vehicle.

The hills sat low and long, topped with scrub and big boulders. It didn't look like there was a mine around here but he pressed on anyway, rolling through meadows covered with luscious long grass and wildflowers that had a cloud of sunny-yellow pollen surrounding them, flanked by tall, leafy trees,. It was a nice day out. Some wispy clouds in the pale blue sky. Very different to the harsh desert he had departed from earlier. They had a beach at the far southern end of it, apparently. Really should check that out sometime. It had been years since he'd had a dip in the sea and did a spot of sunbathing. If it was safe in the sea, that is. Those old maps back home may have had 'Here be Monsters' on them as he'd recalled earlier, but there was a good chance of that actually being true in this world. In his spoiled youth he'd had summer holidays in the Seychelles surrounded by golden sands and azure waters, with a little white, hired pleasure boat that his father would fail to sail successfully, and they'd just go round in circles with some fishing rods dangling over the sides. Rap and Rave weren't around in those days, of course, but they would have had a brilliant time if they had been. If this planet really was going to be his new home for a while, he'd like to get back those carefree days and share them with his friends. Going Kraken-hunting or whatever.

His thoughts trailed off as they continued rolling around the base of the hills and he turned to skirt round their natural corner to the hidden side where the suns were brightest. The first thing to hit his eyes was a golden gleam in the sky, and he squinted, blinking, for it to subside and realised he was looking at a tall brass spire. Below it was a white, walled city. It sprawled out before the hills, numerous cart tracks leading in and out.

He'd found the elves. He must have done. These were not mud huts, nor rickety wooden abodes. This was chiselled stone, finely worked masonry. There were neat and tidy roofs all in a row. Chimneys steamed, the haze drifting lazily upwards, shimmering before the light of the two suns. There was glass here too, some of it brightly coloured. It reminded Anar of a Mediterranean town from a holiday brochure, but with more flags.

These flags that were fluttering in the gentle breeze were also white, with a horse bust outline and starburst in the corner. If he hadn't come here looking for trouble, Anar would be impressed and be up for a nice wander round the tidy, cobbled streets. As it was though, he was aiming to break out some orc slave miners and cause a bit of havoc while he was at it.

"Do you think they know we're here yet?" he asked, with a wry smile.

"I dunno, sir."

"Let's make sure they do then, shall we? Load a shell up and we'll knock at the gate."

"Yessir!" Kallo almost fell over himself in his eagerness to make something go 'boom'.

The tank had slowed as Anar had taken in the marvellous vista. Now he had a clear aim for mischief, he stamped on the gas, and they roared ahead to the pristine citadel at the foot of the hills where the mine they had been looking for was now in clear view, with a busy slate quarry beside it. Visibility wasn't a tank's strong suit, but he just knew that there must be many eyes upon them now as they tore up the landscape and he awaited a welcoming committee. And a well-armed welcoming committee at that. They had a full stock of shells and a whole reel of bullets for the machine gun to answer with. This should be good fun!