FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Painful Solitude

Chapter 3

Author's Note: <-----I always wanted to do one of these.) The next couple chapters might seem a little fast because I'm trying to get my characters to a certain point in their development.

Please rate and comment, it makes me write with confidence ^_^

Alex was surprised when Zane actually took his advice. The very next day, Zane approached her after school and the two had a quiet conversation. He came clean about everything he had told Alex. Apparently, Kayla had taken it well, agreeing with most of what he had said. They left on good terms, and Alex was grateful for that. Mainly because that meant he had given good advice, more reason for Zane to trust him. And every day after that, Alex wondered if he should come clean to Zane with his feelings.

That was a little over three weeks ago. The hot weather had finally faded into a cool autumn climate, leaves on the trees changing and falling. Halloween was coming up this weekend, and Alex had every intention of asking Zane to pass out candy with him at his house. Of course, it wouldn't be a date, but maybe if he could get some alone time with him doing something like that, he could get the guts to confess. But the weeks had passed by, and Alex still hadn't figured out how to ask him. Band practices came and went, and Zane would stay to hang out more often each week. With Kayla out of the picture, it was much easier to talk him into staying. Even if it was for something like homework.

So today, Alex had decided, after band practice, he would invite Zane over for Halloween. Maybe even to spend the night. Halloween first. If he took that well, Alex figured he could push a little further for an overnighter. Zane had stayed the night before, but it seemed like it had been ages since the last time. Maybe he would feel up to it for a holiday. Today was a Friday, and Halloween was tomorrow. So he couldn't use school or homework as an excuse.

"Hey, guys," Lauren said as the band finished up. "I got you guys another gig at The Lion's Den. Normal rules apply. We aren't allowed to drink, and we have to have someone of age there. Anyone think they can get a hold of Mitchell to help us?"

"I can call him," Oliver volunteered. "He actually trusts me to drive his van, even if he can't be there. I still don't understand why Roger won't help us."

Marcus shrugged. "Roger prefers to do his drinking in private. And he's not too good at resisting temptation. If he drove us there, we'd never get home."

"Understood." He looked over at Lauren. "So when's the gig?"

"Next Friday," Lauren answered. "It will probably be the biggest one you've played, being a Friday night. You guys better make it worth it."

"Has anyone been doing college applications?" Zane asked.

"Hell, no," Marcus yawned. "I don't go to school now. Why would I go to one I have to pay for?"

"I did," Alex answered.

Though he didn't want to admit it, he had decided to apply to a nearby school. If his band wasn't going to make it, he needed a back up plan. He decided that teaching music would be his next best bet. Fortunately, he'd found out that Zane had also applied there. Another secret reason he'd chosen that particular school.

"Me, too," Oliver answered. "Though I'm dreaded the responses."

Leon simply nodded in agreement with Oliver's answer. They packed up their things, as usual, and headed their separate ways. This time, Zane was last to finish, even Leon leaving without him. After zipping up his bag and strapping it to his back, he looked up at Alex.

"Hey, Ax," he spoke, his voice quiet. "I just wanted to...thank you."

Alex looked at him, confused. "For what?"

"A few weeks ago, when you helped me with the Kayla problem. I was being a jerk, and you still helped me. So I wanted to thank you. You're a great friend."

Oh no, I'm blushing. Come on, Alex don't do that!

"It's nothing," Alex smiled. "I'm just glad that I could help."

Zane gave a quick nod, then turned around and started for the open door. Alex instantly started to panic. He was leaving, and Alex hadn't done anything he promised himself he would. Without thought, he quickly stood up, his guitar nearly crashing to the floor. Regaining his composure in a flash, he said the only thing he could to get Zane's attention.

"Zaney?"

Zane looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "Again with that name? You know I don't like that, Alex."

Alex grinned. "Sorry. Um...what...I..." He took a subtle breath, trying not to make his anxiety any more obvious than it was. "Are you doing anything tomorrow?"

"No. I think Leon is passing out candy."

"Oh. Okay. Um...do you want to pass out candy here with me? My mom doesn't like doing that, and I...just want someone to keep me from being bored to death."

Zane smiled. "Sure. Um...when should I come over?"

"Anytime you want. I won't be doing anything all day."

"Okay." He smiled before turning to walk away. "I'll see you then."

The next day, Alex made sure his room was neater than it had ever been. He dusted all of the surfaces in the room, including the TV, washed all of his dirty laundry, and his bedding. Though he hadn't sprung the question of Zane staying over, he wanted to be safe, just in cases. And a messy room was not something Alex wanted his crush to think of when someone spoke his name.

After he had finished, he pulled his Halloween costume over his clothes. Dressing up was just something Alex couldn't pass up, no matter how old he got. He was a Devil this year, complete with hornsand a plastic pitch fork for prodding anyone who needed it. He didn't expect Zane to dress up. He never did.

Zane didn't come over until around six o'clock, just shortly before it was time for trick-or-treaters to start their rounds. Though Alex was a little disappointed, he was more relieved that his friend showed up. His mother had baked pumpkin cookies, under the impression that Zane was staying over, and the house held the fresh aroma of baking. When the doorbell rang, Alex pulled the front door open, a smile plastered to his face. Zane, however, didn't appear as happy. To Alex's surprise, he was dressed for the occasion, wearing a plain black grim reaper's cloak over his street clothes, a plastic scythe in his left paw. The hood and face mask part hung loosely on his chest.

"Hey, Ax," he said, his tone somewhat melancholy. "Sorry I'm late. I...got a bit held up."

"Hey, it's not a problem." Alex looked at his friend, concerned. "You okay?"

Zane went to speak, but was immediately ambushed by Alex's mother with a tray full of cookies.

"Zane, dear, have some cookies!" the woman said happily. It was clear that Alex had gotten most of his traits from her. "I made them especially for your sleepover with Alex."

Alex resisted the urge to smack his forehead in disbelief. Zane looked at him, thinking it was just his mother's misunderstanding. But he seemed to take it rather well.

"Thank you. That was very nice of you, Ms. Wilson."

The kind woman smiled. "You boys, have fun!"

She walked away, singing merrily as she danced back into the kitchen. Once she was out of earshot, Zane looked at Alex, inquiring for an answer.

"Sleepover?" he asked.

"She just assumes these things," Alex said. Though he was laughing it off on the outside, he was cringing on the inside. He decided to just wing it from there. "But hey, if you want to stay, you're more than welcome. I don't mind the company."

"Here's the candy, Alex!" his mother smiled, strolling back to them with a giant orange bowl of candy. "Now you two get out there and pass it out. Oh, Zane, don't you look so cute as the Grim Reaper! Enjoy!"

Alex felt his face blush as they stepped outside, his mother spinning back into the kitchen again. He made a mental note to remind his mother than both he and Zane were not pups. Then again, she did this all the time. Zane pulled up his mask as the trick-or-treaters started to appear, helping Alex pass out candy, and on occasion, frighten a child. Though he couldn't see Zane's face, Alex was pretty sure the young man enjoyed the latter part.

They didn't talk much as they passed out the candy. Whatever had been on Zane's mind when he had come over was apparently still lingering. Alex was determined to get his to stay the night, and in the process, find out what was bugging him this time. If it was Kayla again, he would have no choice but to kill the girl. And with that thought, Alex figured he should have been the one wearing the reaper costume.

After they had run out of candy, Alex turned off the porch light, leading Zane back inside the house. Alex's mother was sitting in the living room, curled on the couch and watching a movie. The scent of the cookies still lingered fresh in the air. Alex looked to Zane with a sigh.

"Feel like staying?" he asked blatantly, not giving himself time to chicken out of asking.

Zane shrugged. "Sure. They know where I am. I don't really feel like being there anyway."

Alex led them upstairs and to his room, waiting until they were out of his mother's hearing before questioning any further. Once they were there, he closed the door tightly, watching as Zane took a seat on the bed. The red-furred best friend smiled lightly, a sigh escaping his lips. He did a few shoulder rolls, the rubbed his own neck for a minute.

"What happened, Z?" Alex asked. "Is everything okay? Did they do something to you?"

"No, no. It's nothing like that. My aunt and uncle are good to me, and Leon and I get along fine. It's just...here, my real parents can't get a hold of me. Though they hardly deserve to be called that."

Alex took a seat next to him. Zane knew to keep going, that Alex wanted to hear what he had to say.

"My mom called me earlier today, right before I was getting ready to come over here. So I stopped to talk to her, since I haven't heard from her since her and my father went to New York. I told her...everything that has been going on in my life. What's been going through my head, my grades, my college choices, the band and...a few other things. My mother knows everything about me. Despite what Leon says, there was a time when I was close with my parents. But now, it just seems that no matter what I do, I can't please them. And they aren't even here to see it. I asked her today if they were coming in for graduation when it gets here. You know what she said? 'We'll see.' That's what she told me." He sighed, shaking his head. "I thought that parents were supposed to be proud of their kids, especially with these kinds of things. I just....It seems like ever since the boarding school incident, they just can't see me as anything else."

Ah, the infamous boarding school incident.

Alex knew this wasn't the time to pester Zane about it. Right now, he needed to comfort his friend.

"I'm sure that they're proud of you, Z," he consoled. "Some people just aren't good at admitting those things. Who knows, maybe they're secretly planning some kind of awesome party for your graduation and they don't want you to know. Like a huge surprise party!"

Zane forced himself to keep from smiling, raising an eyebrow. "I hate surprises."

"Aw, come on....."

"Alex..."

"Sorry. Not all surprises are that bad! I'm sure if you think about it, you'll find some memories of surprises that were pleasant. Am I right?"

"Maybe. I've got too many other things to think about other than that right now."

"Oh, you just know I'm right!"

He placed a paw on Zane's shoulder, not expecting the shockwave that traveled through his body at the touch. Zane hadn't noticed, looking at the empty space in front of him. Alex wondered if this could be his chance. His time for a confession. He just had to get Zane out of this pissy mood first. He slowly moved behind his best friend, starting to massage the stressed-out teen's shoulders, noticing the tension in his muscles. If Zane was freaking out, he did a good job of hiding it.

"Keep talking to me, Z," Alex said, his voice soothing. "It doesn't help to bottle it up. That's why your neck is bugging you. All of this tension in your muscles. I'm amazed you can walk. Do you know how lucky you are to have a friend like me?"

Zane gave a small laugh. "I'm sorry, Ax. I've just...got a lot on my mind right now. And I mean a lot. Mostly...things I don't know if I want to talk about."

Alex couldn't hold back. "Is this about Kayla again?"

"No! That part of my life is over. Trust me, this is the furthest thing from Kayla."

"Then what is it?"

Zane stopped, moving away from Alex. He stood, turning to face his best friend with a confused look on his face. For a moment, he looked as if he wanted to say something. But then he stopped, turned away, his paws hanging limply at his sides.

"I really can't talk about it Alex. As much as I would like to tell you, I can't."

Alex nodded. Though he was itching to know exactly what it was, he didn't press the issue. Just like he didn't push with the boarding school incident. Just how many things wasn't Zane telling him? He pushed the thoughts away, standing and looking at his shorter friend's back. Maybe if he did a little talking, Zane would feel comfortable saying what was bugging him and-

And I just checked out his ass. What is wrong with you, Alex?! He's still wearing a freaking robe for crying out loud!

"Don't worry about it, Z," Alex spoke, trying to keep his focus on his friend's upper body. "Even best friends have secrets they don't share with each other. You don't have to be upset about it."

Zane paused, then looked back to Alex, a smirk on his face. "Wait. You have secrets, too?"

"Well, of course. Everybody does."

Now Zane was smiling. "You. You...have secrets? How is that possible? What aren't you telling me?"

Alex took a few steps back. Did Zane just turn the tables on him?

"Y-yeah. I have a few. But they're nothing big, I mean. Nothing that you would care about."

"Really? Try me. You tell me one, and I'll tell you one of mine."

Alex felt himself starting to panic. In a way, he felt like he had just lied to his best friend. There was only one secret that he hadn't told. The one secret he never wanted to share. At least, not like this. His eyes darted around the room, trying to think of something to say. But Zane was looking at him, waiting. Expecting an answer. If he waited any longer, his best friend would know he was lying.

"O-okay," Alex stuttered, stepping ahead to his original place. "I'll tell you. But...you have to promise not to freak out...

Zane nodded. "Okay. I won't."

He took in a deep breath, readying himself for the confession.

"Zane....I really like you."