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Chapter 15: A heartfelt talk

Beta-Reader: Ant0nius

~Matt’s POV~

Today was going to be a slow day.

Even though Randal had asked me yesterday to stay back at the house until I had to start my shift, mentioning that he had finally managed to get an appointment by the bank just outside town, I knew things were going to be quite… dull for a while.

The event was incredibly important for the farm. I didn’t need to be reminded of how personal meetings at a bank could make for some opportunityTo build up some ‘trust’ between the representatives of the establishment and the debtor. Randy was going to be the legal guardian considering the circumstances.

I had a few small experiences over this kind of topic as I had met my own share of bankers detailing the ‘novelties’ presented by their unique offers for those that created new accounts in their banks.

And with Diana deemed ‘too ill’ to commit herself to these stressful situations without getting influenced in the process, the Collie had to take into his own hands the handling of the bureaucratic mess pending over Las Lindas.

The money that had been collected in the last two weeks which he had taken with himself for the visit was meant to give his word greater legitimacy. Maybe even going as far as getting more time by extending the expiration dates. And hopefully, by showing some ‘goodwill’ and genuine interest in having everything paid back, some easing over the debt could be attained.

Randy was an upstanding guy with an upbeat personality, very polite but also extroverted enough to get some proper deals going with some persuasion and patience.

Thus, with the young man leaving for this important task, I was left to face quite the difficult predicament back at the house. Diana was certainly someone I had no problem in having around and talking to. I found her own perspective to be pleasant, especially with her funny share of jokes thrown around once in a while. But I would be lying in saying that her sickness was something that I wasn’t comfortable to deal with.

It took me a little while to understand the non-negligible list of medicines she had to take on a daily basis, with the proper hours and quantities, which the currently-missing Collie had left for me to sort out. The real issue which I could see from the very beginning was when she started to appear fairly irritated by my early attempts in giving her the medical aid she needed.

The woman was quite careful to not sound too childish at first, appearing just ‘forgetful’ or even ‘clumsy’ when some of the pills would fall out of her hands.; then she started to get more vocal about the ‘overbearing nature of my care’, questioning if I wasn’t just overreacting with the attention I was giving to the medicines.

Ignoring the amusing irony of being called ‘overbearing’ by a woman that would more than once turn into an overbearing mother, I surprisingly managed to find plenty of patience while dealing with these instances of resistance.

Maybe it was because I had expected this kind of attitude from her after having spent so much time at the farm. It was more than enough to have seen plenty of sights about the stubbornness the Cow Prime had back in her early days. It was just a sliver from her past self, yet I couldn’t help but feel glad that she was still fiery with her manners when she wanted.

Or maybe this inner peace was brought by the fact that my own irritation was easily overwhelmed by my sense of interest over her well-being. But as far as I was concerned over the matter, the topic itself was secondary, if not tertiary, considering the importance of having her take those medicals for her sake.

Some of the medicines were meant to regulate her constant state of pain without causing her to develop any addiction, while the rest was meant to keep her body’s metabolism running at a smooth pace and without any issues.

Diana looked fairly strong despite the mighty effects of her illness, however she was quick to tire and lacked the energy required to wander around the house without someone keeping an eye on her.

I offered her some support by having her cling on me so that she could push part of her weight elsewhere as I helped her wander around her home.

This predicament turned out to be quite entertaining in the few hours spent together, with the woman cleverly storming me over with flattering compliments and remarks filled with innuendos. I would then reply with faux surprise while also complimenting her back with some amusing adjectives over her not-so-negligible beauty.

Each of those walks ended up with the two of us red-faced after some hard laughs over these attempts, keeping the conversation from falling into anything too serious or saddening.

The morning almost passed quickly as nothing strenuous happened during my early watch over the Cow Prime. Yet, the very moment that lunch was done and gone by, was when I started pondering over the recent circumstances.

It was about two hours before Randal was expected to return back home, both Diana and I were sitting by the couch while watching an old movie that we neither liked nor disliked. It was a dull and lazy moment on a dull and lazy day.

A drama. Something that offered little issues over our own thoughts as the woman slowly but surely seemed to start leaning back on the pillow she had beside her. Her green eyes sported some tiredness and a need of sleep, but she was far from going for a nap.

Within this little moment of individual calm and quiet, I decided to zone out from the movie and right onto an important topic I had been giving only small specks of my free time because of my arduous job.

The problem itself wasn’t that recent. I could trace the first hint of something being off about the circumstances surrounding the helpful people trying to find an ‘answer to my current whereabouts’ back when I first saw Lady Ambar, Naerie… and Geecku.

It was the lizard-like Prime that got me thinking the most. Not because of a major sense of familiarity, but because of the minor headache born from merely looking at her bright yellow eyes.

I couldn’t find a solution as to what sparked this strange malaise. My mind provided no recollection of having met someone with her characteristics, and yet I felt I did. It was a sense of dejavu denied by my own mind, as I couldn’t really connect her to… anything I knew about myself.

Not only Geecku, but looking at Ambar also left me unnerved for some unknown reason, and I couldn’t help but feel like these two actually knew about me beforehand.

It was a strange gut-feeling, something that even the lack of evidence for such a ridiculous thought seemed to not dismiss. I just felt too sure about this very possibility.

When I had returned back to the farm after that discussion, I finally took notice of the fact that I felt drained by that curious discussion. My initial reaction to this was that I had been tiring myself out by helping around Miles while also dealing with that troublesome chat I had shared with Naerie and her mother.

The youngest of the two Bear Prime didn’t seem to recognize me, nor did I feel that I knew her beyond our current situation.

Ignoring this first case of migraine, I had expected things to have just settled down, that the cause of partial drain I had experienced was something born from a physical problem rather than one connected to my confused state of mind. That was my first diagnosis. Something that best-logically fitted over the odd conversation, but then I was introduced by Minos to his friends.

Joy, Kayin and… Grace.

The couple’s child was someone I hadn’t met before, thus interacting with her proved to give me few issues compared to the confusing emotion I felt burning within my chest when I noticed her mother’s stare fixed on me.

I tried playing it off with some remarks and polite comments, expecting that she just had been surprised that I was a human among Primes, or maybe it was my unexpected presence for that call.

I certainly couldn’t have thought more about that pink-eyed stare in that very moment, having nothing meaningful to say while the ‘encounter’ with the happy family continued with the most quiet of manners.

Especially with the little debacle created by Miles’ former relationship with the oldest child of the couple, which definitely got me interested in not having the Cat lynched by the visibly enraged Kayin in a fit of ‘fatherly fury’.

But, the more I started to look at this initial contact from a quieter perspective, the more I could pick up some clues over the strange ‘nostalgia’ born from the staring contest that would then ensue from that.

Kayin proved to be clueless over the situation. His confused reaction over his wife’s quiet watch gave me more evidence that… this was more complicated that I could already elaborate on.

I could already feel that there had been more than just ‘a night gone weird at the bar’. And every single headache gave me a strong confirmation that there was something brewing truly beyond my current capacity of thinking. Something bigger than I could currently imagine with the clues I had and… that worried me.

It felt like a massive puzzle with an unpleasant end to it, no rewards to receive from the efforts of unraveling such a mystery except some somber element I was currently missing.

I was surprised when Grace mentioned that the reason behind her intense looks was related to someone that ‘wasn’t there anymore’, which would eclipse any possible connections prior to my arrival in Gossamer, yet I was more curious about the story behind such a person.

The Gazelle Prime had been referring to a human, someone that ‘looked like me’ and that caused this unexpected escalation from the woman. But what was I missing from this response?

I felt like there was something deeper, a hidden meaning that I was, for some reason, ignoring ‘willingly’ and ‘purposely’. I couldn’t just press myself to think more about it without my brain locking itself from continuing and giving me some fresh headaches the moment I even gazed at this query within my thoughts. I was stuck in a dead end that I could technically break away from but… why couldn’t I just-!?

A finger poked at my shoulder, shaking me from my silent thinking as I slowly returned my attention to reality.

“Seems like something has made you quite angry, young man?” Diana’s voice pierced through my thought bubble, bringing me back to the present.

Blinking, my eyes took notice at the movie’s credits rolling by the screen in front of me, before glancing to the side to spot a worried glint coming from the Prime’s green orbs.

A sigh left my lips. “Just thinking about some stuff I’ve discovered recently.”

“Anything you wish to talk about?” She asked with a careful tone, her concern finally entering her words. “If it isn’t anything too personal, you could ask for-”

“It’s not something clear to me and… I don’t even know if it’s personal or not,” I interjected with a quiet hum building inside my throat. “There’s… just something I feel is important that I’m unable to remember clearly.”

“How important?” The woman inquired calmly. “Is it about your arrival here at the farm?”

I blinked at this. “Perhaps,” I admitted with some hesitation. “I’m not sure if it’s connected, but I feel so certain that it could.”

“Sounds confusing. Is there a reason why you’re having trouble remembering? You can’t remember anything?”

“I feel a strange sense of nostalgia about… some of the people I’ve recently met,” I replied hesitantly, still unsure if it was worth it or not giving up so much information about my little dilemma. “There’s this sense of certainty within me that makes it feel like I’ve met them before, somewhere. Somehow.”

“Yet your mind refuses to give you anything that could help you?” Diana guessed calmly, sighing tiredly as I nodded slowly at her. “I guess your amnesia is actually connected to them but… the reason behind your lack of recollection might not be something pleasant.”

I took a brief pause to contemplate these words, then I frowned. “You mean that the amnesia was… born from something painful?”

“It’s a possibility,” She answered with a shrug. “But if that’s the case, maybe it’s best to not force yourself through the block. Maybe there is a good reason why you don’t want to remember.”

I wanted to refuse this perception, that I was the one that didn’t want to know about the truth. But I couldn’t.

For some weird reason, I felt at ease leaving this mystery afloat a little more, to let it unfold with a slower pace rather than forcing its truth unveiling suddenly and quickly.

“You are tense,” The Prime commented with a stronger voice, her hand patting at her leg. “Come here.”

...What?

“I’m not-”

“Come. Here.”

Her voice turned stern only for that moment, yet her smile was still there to prove she wasn’t angry about the hesitation. I blinked, quite skeptical over following such a simple but embarrassing compliance… but I still went ahead and placed my head by her lap, my sight directed at the TV.

I tensed up right as I felt her hands calmly reach for my hair. Her ministrations were slow-paced but incredibly comforting by the mindful way she was caressing through the little mane of sandy-blond I had.

“I guess you’ve missed your haircut day just like Randy did in the last few years,” The woman mused mirthfully before sighing and starting to hum.

“It’s… isn’t this awkward?”

She blinked. “You mean for me to coddle a young man like you? I think I’ve done this plenty of times with my own son. Why shouldn’t I do this with you?”

I frowned and glanced up, doing my best to overlook her noticeable chest. “Because I’m your employ-”

“An employee that sleeps here in my home, helps around with the chores, and thinks of my son as his brother in all but blood?”

The long question, which sparked a teasing smile on her face, managed to get a blush out of me.

Seriously, was that last detail so easy to spot on? Wasn’t that awkward to look from an outside perception of the relationship?

“It’s complicated,” I tried to plead, but sadly her smile merely widened at such a statement.

“Life is always complicated, Matt,” The woman replied with a sigh. “But I guess being cared for like this can be quite… embarrassing.”

I blinked quietly. “A little.”

Diana giggled before settling with playing some more with my hair.

It was peaceful and… somewhat relaxing as she continued with her caressing. Her skilled fingers were careful enough to not pull any of the locks she was touching around.

Then, her expression turned somber for a moment, her stare directed at nothing in particular as she seemed distracted by some thoughts.

“When he came to the farm to work in your stead, Minos told me that you were aware of my full conditions,” The woman finally spoke, my body going tense once again while her hands continued to calm me down with the mindful pace they had in their actions. “I’m not mad.”

“I should have asked-”

“And accepted a ‘no’ as an answer?” She interrupted quietly, then she sighed. “I can understand the interest behind your curiosity after seeing me in pain.”

I kept silent, staring up at her mostly-neutral expression, just some hints of sadness and displeasure appearing here and there once in a while.

“I never told my children why my husband left me,” The Cow Prime began her words with a slow pace. “Mora and Randal probably think that he left me willingly, that there isn’t a good reason for-”

“I-I shouldn’t be the one to-”

“Consider it a favor you are doing for me, that I just need to let out and vent a little with someone I can feel to trust enough with this matter,” She replied back with a nod. “After giving out so much about your own grief, please do hear me giving out something I wish to no longer keep inside about this.”

I blinked at her request, giving some heavy pondering over her pleading tone and… I nodded.

A small thankful smile appeared on her face in response to my acceptance.

“I met him… it was two to three years before giving birth to Mora, about thirty years ago,” Diana started to narrate. “He was a very blunt person. I had never met a Narakhan before and… he just looked like a good guy. A little bit sharp on the edge, but a respectful note making him stand up to others.”

The woman mirthfully smiled at this detail.

“When I first started to work here, I… I had some trouble starting my own activity.” The Cow Prime explained. “My own mother had made plenty of enemies during the time she had her own farm, and not many wanted to deal with anyone bearing the name ‘Linda’.”

Her stare moved to the ceiling, and she paused for a couple of seconds.

“I tried everywhere in Gossamer. From the bar you usually go by, to the least-known Gossamer Spirits,” Diana continued with a distracted tone. “I was so desperate that I had plans to try and secure some deals with the nearby regions. I was quite stubborn, but also economically limited.”

There was a pause, then her lips pressed together in thought before she sighed.

“The first time I met him, it was when he was dealing with a brawl. He had been singled out by two goons because of his nature.” She huffed at this very nature. “And he reacted fairly aggressively when, as I tried to stand between him and the rogues, I found myself threatened by them. He spoke very little, and it was always directed to the presence, never to anything else round him.”

“So he bashed heads with these goons?” I asked with some curiosity. “I bet he was quite strong to do that, with the brawl being a two against one.”

She smiled happily. “He was strong. I would say strong enough to tear a building if someone he cared about was injured before his eyes. Maybe even an entire city.”

“Sounds like Minos,” I commented with a small frown, the woman giggling but shaking her head.

“It’s amusing to imagine the two being compared. Not only for the surprising difference in size, but I guess that it has to do with the violent tone he would have when someone came close to harming me or Mora,” She admitted with some interest over the topic. “In fact, I think that it would be wrong to confuse your friend’s tiredness with my husband’s patience.”

I nodded at this correction and the narration resumed from there.

“I brought him back to the farm. It was odd at first, especially with how our personalities tended to clash with one another. And there was also the fact that he loved Alcohol. My little drunky, that’s what I used to call him,” She sighed quietly. “Our odd bond would continue to be as such up until New Year. The feast we gave back at that time had taken the entire town to visit the farm, especially with how much hard labor we had put together to create something so… beautiful.”

She stopped for a moment, blinking while a little hue of red spread on her cheeks. “A-And you can say that I ‘discovered’ more about him thanks to alcohol. Sizes don’t really matter.”

My eyes widened at the little allusion to the night I spent with Taffy. My own face enlightened in red at the realization, still unsure if the Cow Prime had done that on purpose or not.

“Oh.”

“‘Oh’ indeed,” She giggled calmly, nodding at my dumb response. “It was even more awkward when I noticed who I had given quite the night to. Let’s just say that it was a ‘fun morning’, the one that ensued.”

The woman leaned back on the pillow behind her on the coach, humming for a moment as she thought back at those particular moments.

“We had some conversation, a mix of shouting and angry words being thrown at each other… until we decided to give thought about the impossible.”

I blinked. “You mean that-”

“He started courting me suddenly after that night. It was tame at first and almost too difficult to notice by the lack of efforts and knowledge he would display in trying to win my affections,” Diana interjected with an amused tone. “There were some adorable scenes, some that didn’t make sense to me until I found out about his plans for that year’s Valentine.”

A giggle left her lips, turning in a brief chuckle as she started to shake her head at the memory.

“Imagine my surprise when I woke up to find an endless stream of boxes filled with chocolate completely covering my bedroom’s floor,” She explained quickly, almost biting her own thoughts as she described the scene. “I was elated by the monumental effort it took to bring all of that inside my own room without waking me up, but I was quite furious to find no name attached to this glorious gift.”

“How did you learn that it had been… him?” I asked quietly, slowly lulled by her tale and giving a brief yawn before nodding at her to continue.

“Oh, it had been one of his ‘helpers’ that revealed the mastermind of this strange deed. It had been one of the few workers that had known him well enough to help in this endeavor,” She replied with a little grin. “After pressing him over possible clues, he ultimately spilled the truth about what had happened and… everything made sense.”

I nodded at that, preferring to let her continue from there as I was curious about her following reaction at the discovery.

“I was confused at first, a storm of emotions kept me from properly acting as I didn’t know how to handle this issue,” The Prime admitted with a sigh. “In the end, I decided to try and bluntly seek some answers and some resolution.”

By inquiring more about-

“So I confronted him, pulled him aside for some private words and then promptly kissed him on his confused face.”

...What?

“He looked so surprised, but not enough to miss the little invitation I had given him for a private dinner.”

“I don’t want to push but… isn’t this going to-”

“I don’t plan to give that kind of details,” The woman replied swiftly, her cheeks flaring once again but she seemed well in control of her flustered self. “But that normal dinner would become a frequent event for the two of us and… after a year of dating and knowing each other better, we decided to become an item.”

A pause ensued from this development, her eyes appearing a little dull for just a moment.

“It was during this period that I finally noticed that… he wasn’t feeling well,” Diana continued, now with a somber voice. “He would have these moments of anger once in a while. Passing moments that showed me of his inner plight and… the reason why he had come here in Gossamer.”

I was interested by this topic, eyeing her face as to gesture her to continue.

“I could say that the confirmation of my suspicions came when I found myself attacked by quite the unexpected individual,” She said, drawing a tired sigh before continuing. “My attacker was quite fierce, but her attention was in the end channeled to deal with my husband. At that time we were already trying to have a child and so he was around me on a constant basis.”

I found myself looking at her with a wide-eyed look, my expression displaying surprise and worry.

“You were attacked?”

“Only verbally,” She mused with a nod. “I avoided anything physical because someone else held her back. I discovered that she was actually a good person and… that she overreacted when some news I had been unaware of had reached her ears.”

I frowned at this, throwing a quizzical look at Diana as the woman continued without hesitation.

“We were expecting a child,” The Prime commented happily, her smile resuming once more. “I was quite surprised to learn about this from the High Prime herself, the woman rushing to the farm to stop my attacker from committing some mistaken action.”

“She still attacked you,” I intervened with a hum.

“And she was punished for that, severely so,” The mother replied quietly. “Still, I think you can understand the issue that can arise from a child born from a Narakhan and a Prime. Minos told me that he explained this to you.”

I nodded at her, having heard from the Bull Prime that such a mix-up wasn’t generally one that saw a healthy birth or even a successful one to that, and she sighed once more before continuing.

“When we discovered that Mora was already growing inside of me, I decided to… try and increase the chances of a better conception, to make sure that her arrival wouldn’t present any issues to the babe,” The Cow Prime narrated tensely. “We were both sure that it would have worked, I was compatible with the turning but… the ritual ended up in a failure when his problem created a deadly obstacle.”

I blinked at this, starting to get a proper look at the situation that saw Diana getting caught with this sickness, but still failing to visualize the ‘problem’ that his husband had that could have caused this dangerous issue.

“The botched attempt also harmed him. His unstable situation worsened and forced him to take long checkups with Ambar over his state of mind as he was slowly giving in to his unique burden. In the end, when Mora was born, he ultimately decided to leave the farm for good,” She concluded calmly, turning her stare down once more to look at me. “I would still give him help with what I could offer him. Anything that would help his recovery was spent to give him enough coin to afford his cures but…”

I blinked, her silence born from uneasiness and discomfort was then captured by my answer.

“He stopped replying,” I finished for her. “Randal told me that there was no letter about him.”

“Is it wrong for me to give hope that eventually he will come walking by the door?” Diana asked with sorrow dripping from her words. “That he will come to visit before I die?”

I felt my stomach knot at the mention of the final bit, flinching at that vocally-expressed thought and I found myself unable to speak and give her an answer about that.

I blinked, then again and… I finally sighed.

“You are entitled to hope, Diana,” I said curtly, slowly getting away from her lap as I glanced at her with a serious look. “But remember that you will not be alone for… these trying moments.”

Another pause, this time the woman’s eyes widened a fraction at this little promise I was giving her, something I was so determined to keep for her without any hesitation.

A smile graced her features and she nodded.

“I know that, and I’m incredibly happy about it.” She replied slowly, her smile twitching with some amusement. “At least I will have my children around me.”

Then her eyes stared down to look at the floor as she realized that there was still someone missing.

I sighed. “I will find her,” I muttered quietly, causing her to lift her stare back up to look at my face. “I will find Mora.”

_ And then we will have a proper talk. _

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AN

_ Bukharin, isn’t this a little too short for a chapter? _

Hmm… I guess this will do for now. I don’t feel like adding too much to it for today and… Why would I skip having a pleasant conversation with you, Naerie?

_ Because you have a duty to your readers? Still, I’m surprised that mother decided to skip this occasion. _

I think she’s angry at me for delaying the update for this long. I bet she will go ballistic if she learns about how short it is and-

_ I will not tell her anything. I know how terrible that would be for you. _

You are the best, Nae!

_ At least you could tell them about your little fanfic you planned about Learning Curves- _

N-Not yet!

_ Are you sure? _

Mostly, yes. But I guess it’s now up in the air now that you told this detail.

_ Perhaps, but I think it’s time we move to the… replying section? _

EDIT: Chapter was expanded and a bit was retconned.