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The Best Laid Plans…

Life outside of prison was… different, from how I remembered it, though that should not have been as a surprising revelation as it had been for me. I wasn't the same kid I used to be, and at least I inherently understood that much. At times, however, it was still a little confusing.

Not several days after my release I found myself pressed against a brick wall, the barrel of a blaster rifle grating against the back of my head

Allow me to elucidate with some exposition.

*****

Doing what had been asked of me, and against my better judgment, I got in the street car with Wolf, the lupine still smiling that familiar smirk throughout the entire three hour commute to his house. We didn't talk during the drive, I out of the simple reason that I could not for the life of me figure out what to say to bridge the gap of our time apart. I was still puzzled at why he cared at all about me, at least to the point where he would remember to be there for me a year after we last met, that he would memorize the exact day I finished my incarceration. I had anticipated maybe an e-mail, or even a letter, not something so unexpectedly… personal.

I never did bother to ask him why he hadn't spoken. I suppose that, deep down, I was just glad that there was someone in my life that thought I mattered.

In any case, three hours of silent travel later, and we found ourselves parked in the driveway of a small, but pleasantly homely residential building, deep within the suburbs. To my eyes that had never even seen a real house before, one that did not have a myriad of neighbors above, below, or to either side, it was something beautiful.

I was taken from my thoughts when I heard the engine die, glancing to my left to notice the decidedly contemplative air overtaking my lupine companion, his smirk gone. He seemed, for a lack of a better word, uncertain, as he stared off into the distance, still buckled into his seat. I watched his paw fiddle with the keys, his tail flickering tentatively from out the bottom hole of the driver's seat.

“Why…"

Had I been one of them my ears might have perked at the sound of his long absent voice. “Why did you do it?" He asked, turning to me with a look not entirely devoid of… something, perhaps wonder, or remorse, I could not tell.

And somehow, though he never specified, I knew exactly what he was asking. We had spent three years in that prison together. We shared the same cell; we shared the same showers, the same meals, the same interests and activities. And when the time arose, we fought the same battles. In a way, we were closer than blood. But never, in all that time, had we ever asked the other the true reason we were there, why it was we did what we had to arrive at where fate had joined us.

“I can't give you the answer you're looking for, Wolf." I replied with a sad smile.

I have asked that very same question countless times over the years, and while I felt as if I did come to my answer, it probably would not have been the right one. Perhaps I was just tired, frustrated with the shovel of shit the world seemed intent on feeding me. Maybe I just wanted to lash out, to rail against the seemingly inlaid plans the universe had for my design.

I watched in sadness as the lupine's muzzle wilted.

That had not been what he had been hoping to hear.

But then, when was the truth ever?

Another minute passed in silence.

“I hated my father." Wolf muttered softly, his paws clenching tightly together as a dangerous flash of genuine rage glinted across his one purple iris. “All my life I learned to fear him, he came home, often already drunk, rambling angrily about how he had not been treated right, not given his due."

A sickly grimace told me just what he felt about that.

“First time he hit my mother, I hid in the closet. The second time I didn't run away to leave her alone to face that monster. And three months from that day I realized I couldn't just let him do that to her anymore. She… she didn't deserve that. But…" A tear trickled down his snout as he whispered. “I didn't want him to die! I just wanted him to stop, to remember that he loved my mother more than he did his pride."

I leaned across the console, laying an arm over his shoulder as he began to sob, unable to keep the scowl from my lips. Poor kid, he hadn't deserved what had happened to him. And it tore me up inside to see him like that. He was the only one left on this world that cared about me, the least I could do was return the feeling.

“It's alright, Wolf." I whispered with what warmth I could bring to bear.

“I was scared, Lance. He was so drunk, and angry, and he was so much bigger than me. He grabbed me and we fell, and I… I panicked. I didn't want to hurt him." He looked to me with the naked innocence of someone who was not quite yet ready to be an adult, to face the harsh realities of the world all we sapient beings were forced to endure.

“Am I a bad person, Lance?"

That question, for the first time in over a year, made me feel honest anger.

“Don't you ever think that, Wolf" I lectured him with a stern frown. “Don't ever doubt yourself. I don't need to hear your story to know you're a good person. It's not your fault you were a better man then your father."

In that moment, I was just glad to see that he had stopped crying.

“We are better than the sums of our past. You did what you felt was right, and so did your father. What's more, you paid the dues society felt it was owed. You already faced your justice."

He smiled halfheartedly, a look that I shared with him.

“So don't you go beating yourself up for something that was already resolved a year ago."

Wolf nodded, his familiar poise resurfacing as he sat a little bit straighter and unbuckled his seat belt. “You're right." He admitted with an embarrassed chuckle. “And all I did was make myself look like a dumb kid."

“You're no dumb kid to me, Wolf. You helped me graduate, you kicked ass at my side when it was required, and you certainly made the years a little less droll." I chuckled.

The Lupine's grin faded.

“And then I left you alone with another year to bear across your shoulders."

“Water under the bridge…" I shrugged off his regret. “I thought we'd already been done with this topic."

“Still, I should have done something!" He argued.

“Like what?" I demanded with a reproachful frown. “Do something stupid and get your sentence extended? I'd be pretty pissed if you up and made my noble sacrifice worthless."

“Now come on." I urged as I opened the passenger door. “Let's get out of this car of bad thoughts. After all, I'm out now, we both are. We should be celebrating, not loitering in a mire of depression. That would be childish."

Mulling over my words, he agreed with sharp dip of his head. “You're right." He admitted with a roguish look that made me somewhat concerned. “And I have just the idea to celebrate."

*****

“And that…" I concluded with a glance up to the other occupant of my cell. “Is how I would inevitably end up visiting prison for a second time. And coincidently enough, decide that I would never again ingest large quantities of alcohol in a public place."

“So…" The feline drawled from the bunk above my own. “Is that supposed to make it any better that you punched me right in the snout?"

I Scoffed. “To be fair, you did threaten to claw out my testicles. And… that was after you tried to strangle me."

“Semantics." The cat retorted with a disinterested sigh, tail flicking idly at the edge of the cot above me.

I rolled my eyes, but refused to answer to the challenge. After all, I was only in holding for three day, I'd be out by the next morning and I didn't see a reason to change that. It was all Wolf's fault anyways, my idea of a good time appeared to be entirely opposite of his.

I would have gladly settled for a nice dinner at a restaurant for a taste of real food after being forced to eat the bland cuisine I had been fed for nine years, or maybe a movie night to catch up on all the films I missed out on. I should have never listened to that lupine. He always was good at catching trouble.

Oh well, couldn't exactly pick my friends at the moment.

“So… you gotta name muzzle thwapper?"

“I hardly think that matters right now." I muttered towards the ceiling.

“Really? I mean you kinda broke my nose almost, and our little scuffle landed us both in here. Surely that constitutes at least a simple transaction of labels?"

I thought about it. “No, not really."

“Dude… harsh."

I would have shrugged if I thought the cat would have seen it, or cared for that matter. Instead I decided that I would spend the remainder of my time here deciding on what I would do now that I had my freedom, relatively speaking. I still had to wait till tomorrow.

I really should stop listening to Wolf.

Anyways, considering my skills, or general lack of them, I couldn't really see a job I'd fit into. I didn't really have a marketable trade, or talent, unless you counted hurting people. Cause if you did, then I most certainly had something going for me.

But considering that killing people was somewhat frowned upon in modern society, that seemed unlikely. As I thought about it, I was hit with a pang of internalized resentment. I really had nothing but the support of another ex-con, a man who was already better than I would ever be. Even then, I hardly deserved my already strained good fortune. The record book for my deeds was mostly written in red ink I would imagine.

From my rather dour musing, a most unwelcome noise returned to my ears.

I was not at all enthused by that.

“Hey, Nose Bopper, can I call ya Nose Bopper?"

“…No…"

“So Nose Bopper," the feline continued. “I was just thinking, now that we've been stuck in this cell for the past few days, and we've been through a lot together…"

“A lot…" I wondered aloud, confusion warping my thoughts. “You sat across from the bar and whipped a rubber duck at my head, where did you even get that? Furthermore I-"

“I know this going to sound weird, and you'll probably be all like why, or sure that sounds pretty hot. But…. can I touch your skin?" Amber orbs peered down at me from above, the features of the muzzle they belonged to concealed underneath the threadbare prison blanket the cat had draped itself in.

“I… excuse me?" Certainly I had not heard that right.

What…

“I've never really met a human before, not this close at least. Is it really as smooth as they say it is?" The feline's eyes shone with unfettered curiosity.

What…

“So… can I?"

“Absolutely not." I snapped defensively, suddenly aware that I was locked in a room with a potentially insane creature.

“Oh come on, please… I'll let you pet me." The cat offered with a throaty chuckle. “Humans like that don't they?

Shit, I was stuck in here with an insane creature.

Humans petting animals was fine, they were unintelligent and companionable. But I was certain petting had a different connotation in cornerian society.

“I'll have to decline your… tempting proposal." I tried to sound reluctant, but I was never all that successful in hiding my cynicism. As usual my luck held strong. I had been paired up with a crazy person, another red mark for the ledger.

“Well… should you change your mind I'll be right up here." The feline reassured him as it once more receded out of sight on the top bunk. “Waiting…."

I sighed and rolled over in my cot, the blanket suddenly seeming very thin and the walls of the cell very small.

“It'll all be over by morning."

*****

In a rare show of mercy from God, I was not molested in my sleep by a voraciously curious feline. Although I had not slept well, I did at least wake up with my pants still buttoned, though I could not help but notice that my blanket had fallen to floor during the night.

In any case I was unwilling to think further on the subject matter.

By nine an officer had entered the lockup and opened our cell with a stern warning to stay out of further trouble. I assured him that I very much so would refrain from ending back up here. My time spent with my latest cellmate had only endorsed my longing to stay far away from compact rooms and insane individuals. Satisfied, the canine nodded stiffly and gestured me towards the exit, where I could pick up my belongings with the clerk outside the doors.

A soft patter was my only warning before my cellmate appeared at my side with a chuckle, furry elbow resting on my left shoulder.

“Looks like we made it, Nose Bopper."

My eyes were sent into a revolution as I stepped away to let the feline's arm fall to the side.

“Yes it was… enlightening, to have made your acquaintance. Let's never do this again." I made my quick farewell to the cat before hurrying down the hall to collect the jacket and pocket knife that Wolf had loaned me.

“Alright then… see you later I guess!" The damnable creature called out after me with a pleasant tone and a cheery wave.

I let the doors speak for me as they slammed shut in the wake of my departure.

Slipping on my jacket and stepping out into the chilly winter air, I looked to the lot to see Wolf standing by the car, what I was hoping would not turn into a frequent occurrence.

“That is the last time we do anything you suggest." I warned the grinning muzzle of my friend as I angrily shuffled into the car and out of the cold. I had learned one other thing from my first few days as a free man. Cats are crazy.

Especially lynxes…

*****

Days passed and I eventually put my experience behind me to focus on the future. I liked living with the O'Donnells. Wolf's mother was a wonderfully kind and quite woman, and I could see shortly after I met her, why my friend had done what he did.

Melody reminded me of my mother actually, at least what I remember of her. And just like my mother, she had been cowed by the punitive forces of society. She worked at a nearby hospital, manning the nurse station during the graveyard shift, a tough place for a soft person.

And that was why I wanted to leave.

She worked herself to the bone to pay the bills and keep herself and her son fed. The last thing I wanted to do was make it even harder for her. And if Wolf didn't want me to leave, well then I'd just have to find a job to help them out if I intended to stay any longer.

Wolf and I, we passed our equivalency tests back in prison, yet from what he told me of the year he spent at home. No one wanted to hire guys like us. After all we weren't just ex-convicts; we were ex-convicts with murder and manslaughter on our records.

As one could imagine, that wasn't a pleasant topic for interviews. My efforts for work and a pursuit for stability had been severely limited by my history, and I knew deep down that my father would be disappointed in me, frustrated that I had thrown away my life for a few brief moments of gratifying vengeance.

I had no regrets.

I did what I had wanted, fully aware of the repercussions that would follow. Unlike my father, the life I wished to live was mine alone, and if I wanted to pursue a course of self-destruction, then by god that's what I would do.

I would find justice, even if society condemned my actions.

That kid took away from my family, what right had the courts in annexing my jurisdiction? Way I saw it; they should not have been involved. If you killed an innocent in cold blood, then what else should you expect other than swift judgment? Conrad Wolfram did not deserve to suffocate in a pool of his own blood, just as that kid did not deserve to starve because he was too poor to afford to eat.

But he did deserve what happened to him for weighing his need to eat above the worth of a father with kids and a wife. And if I were to ever take priority in my life over those who could be considered innocent, then I would surely deserve whatever punishment that would incur.

All the same, my views were not entirely conductive to the avenues of employment I had been investigating. I could never see myself as a grocery clerk, night stocker, or even an assistant or secretary. I held distaste for big banks and monopolizing corporate giants. I was a felon so jobs in the security sector or police were extremely unlikely. I scoffed at the mere notion of being a taxi driver.

What I wanted was an opportunity to effect change, to alter the way the world now worked. I wanted to bring justice, and I did not want bureaucracy to stand in my way. I had heard the news, even in jail they talked about the increasingly unstable political climate. Venom, a world once little else but a penal colony, had risen from the ashes of its forced isolation, resurrected as a highly motivated and severely militarized society. Just last month, through various back channels and commercial transactions, they had acquired the rights to the industrial world of Eladard, setting their gaze next upon the beautiful jungles of Zoness.

I didn't have much in the way of education, but even I could see that if they were allowed to continue as they were, the portents on the horizon could only be war. Corneria could not allow any more of their worlds to confederate with the growing Empire incurring upon their sovereign territories.

I neither loved nor hated United Lylatian Republics. I do not blame the entirety of the government for what happened to my family, but it was the ULR's inability to properly govern its territories that allowed so many to live in squalor under its rule.

It did not look it, but this society was hemorrhaging internally. I knew the stories, heard accounts from my fellow inmates. The administration was bloated with corruption, rife with unnecessary expenditure, misallocated funds, and criminal negligence in regards to monitoring corporate activities. For every one good thing the ULR accomplished, they were met with another dozen counts of fraud, kickbacks, and embezzlement. There were riots on Katina, and the military had been deployed on Aquas to suppress “discontent".

Knowing all of this, I could not see how I could find a place in this world that did not make we wish for death, if only to escape the madness festering within this nation.

A week after I was released for the second time, Wolf came to me with an answer.

*****

“You're serious…?" I eyed the lupine in bewilderment from across the dinner table, empty plates and dirtied silverware stretching between us while his mother washed dishes in the kitchen a few feet away. “Don't we need some form of formal training for that?"

“Sure, but the PMC is more than willing to foot the time and resources, for a small reduction in wages of course." He admitted with a slight shrug. “Still, we'd make more than any other job we could hope to find out there.

I leaned back in my seat, contemplating what I had just been told. Wolf's father, before his fateful meeting with a staircase, had been partner to a small mercenary outfit that operated out of a base in the Meteo asteroid cluster, Sargasso space station. Apparently, after learning of his fate, his co-commander had sought out Wolf, extending an offer for him to join.

“What reason would this Powalski guy have to hire us anyway? From what I remember, you are not your father."

Wolf winced only momentarily before he returned to his impassioned insistence. “True, but he said he owed my father a favor. So at least my old man was good for something. Anyways that's not the issue. I just want to know if you would be willing to do this. Because if you don't go, I won't either. I explicitly told him we were a package deal."

The lupine starred down to his empty plate, his expression darkening. “We're in this together, Lance. I'm not going to leave you behind again."

I sighed, feeling a nearly uncontrollable need to rub my brow with my palm. I honestly was not sure why I was so obstinate with him. He had brought this up out of a desire to help me. But... I don't know. I've never been in a real fight before, not one where lasers are flying around and bombs fell from the sky. This would be far different from shiving some would be rapist in the shower, or beating up a couple of thugs who thought I'd make for an easy mark. This would be the real deal. I'd never wanted to be a soldier, and the idea of being an independent mercenary was somehow even less appealing.

Yet at the same time, in some peculiar way, the thought of it all was… liberating. I wouldn't be held down by government sanctions or military restrictions. And admittedly, the thought of immunity should our chosen benefactor lose, played a part in my deliberation. I knew I wasn't cut out for the regimental life of a soldier; even prison had more freedom than the army. I didn't fear death either, I had no intent on dying for a cause I did not believe in, but if I were to meet my end I could confidently admit it would not bother me as much as it would someone else. Death had lost all significance for me after my family fell apart. The only reason I was so focused was because I still had someone to affix my attention on.

I had gathered the distinct feeling that wolf needed me, a friend that he could trust implicitly. Other than his mother, I learned that he had no one else, no brothers or sisters or extended family. I was the only person he had to watch his back out in the world.

We only had each other.

“Alright, I'll agree to go along with this, even though your last plan landed me back in jail for a few days. Hopefully this will not be any worse than that."

The wince he had before paled in comparison to the one marring his muzzle now. “I did warn you about felines." He chuckled nervously.

I shivered. “Yes well it's probably better to forget I think." Clearing my mind of the crazy cat I had been trapped with, I instead put my mind on our next step. If we were going to do this, we would do this right. That meant adequate planning, and the refusal of subpar assets. If we were going to throw ourselves into blaster fire, I would damn well see that we were properly equipped.

“How much do we have in the way of credits?" I asked him, already calculating costs for weapons and equipment.

“Well… discounting the fee to charter a transport ship to task us out to Sargasso, and few extra credits for emergencies, we have about three thousand credits between us, maybe thirty-five hundred if my mother chipped in. And that's with everything we earned in prison."

“No." I shook my head with a look to the mild mannered female loading the dishwasher without a care in the world. She always seemed happiest when she was doing something, probably a trait born of necessity. “I won't take any more money from here than I already have. And neither will you. I think it's time we let her just worry about herself."

Wolf had little argument with that.

“So… what can we do with three thousand credits?" He wondered aloud. I was sure he knew little about the world we would soon be departing for.

Thankfully, my days in prison offered me a less than usual education.

“Well… if we don't skimp on quality, and find a reputable dealer, we could probably purchase two blaster rifles and at least a somewhat decent combat uniform for the both of us."

And hopefully that would be enough.

“When would we be leaving?"

“Powalski said he'd be back on the planet in a week after I last saw him. Considering that was four days ago, we'd have about three to prepare."

Three days, I suppose I could work with that. There was however, just one last issue to address I realized as I looked to Wolf's mother.

“When will you tell her?"

The lupine adopted a pained expression as he looked to his mother, though his visage hardened within moments. “I'll let her know tomorrow. Though I'd like to spend the rest of the day home, if that's alright with you."

I nodded in understanding. “Of course, I'll head out and see what I can scare up about any suppliers." If the world still worked like I thought it would, it shouldn't be all that hard to find what I was looking for. I had seen enough growing up on the streets to figure out how these things worked. I was a very observant child.

Concluding out conversation, I stood up from the table and entered the kitchen, looking to Wolf's mother with a heartfelt smile. “Thanks again for dinner Melody. I don't know how you keep putting up with me."

The matronly lupine turned from the sink to meet my smile with a soft and paternal grin. She was a beautiful woman still, dark grey fur and warm lavender eyes complimenting a maternal figure. Age had only offered her grace and a certain knowing charm that I adored. She was much like my mother had been, before she lost her husband. It was not lost on me in that thought that Miss O'Donnell was better for having lost hers.

“Please lance," She admonished with a light and airy giggle as she dried her paws on a washcloth. “You are no bother to me. I will always be grateful that you watched out for my son while he was in that… that place." The female wolf leaned forwards and wrapped me in a caring embrace. “The O'Donnell home is just as much yours as it ours."

I was speechless, my eyes watery and my body threatening to tremble. It had been many years since I last had the comfort of motherly affection. I tried not to think about the loss of my mother, of how one day had ruined the lives of my family and myself. Somewhere inside I was still a scared fourteen year old boy that never had the chance to love my mother more.

“I…" My voice cracked, despite my embarrassment. “Thank you Melody… that… means a lot to me." I was unsure if she would ever learn how much.

“Your welcome, honey. You just remember to be safe and stay out of trouble." She chided affectionately, a brow precariously perched. “There's no reason for you to go back."

I nodded, leaving that as my answer as I left the kitchen and made my way outside of the house, a tear finally escaping me in the protection of my solitude. I learned long ago to cry in private.

I had never been afraid of how people perceived me. But in prison they saw it as a sign of weakness, like sharks circling blood in the water. I had been certain to dissuade them of that notion.

I did not cry often, but when I had, it was well deserved. I have only cried a handful of times in my life. I cried when my childhood friend had been killed in a gang dispute. I cried when as I child, I fell out the window and snapped my femur. Since, I have only shed tears in two other moments. I cried the day my father died, and I cried the first night in my cell nine years ago.

Today broke a record nine years in the making.