Porcupine Cuddler (ADHG)
Story by PapaDelta on SoFurry
A porcupine girl tries to make it as a professional cuddler. It doesn't go well.
~600 words
>Porcupine girl loves humies, all her friends are professional cuddlers, decides to enter the cuddling market despite being totally inexperienced
>Her very first customer just so happens to be one of these professional reviewers
>He suggests they lay on the couch to start off, motions for her to lay down first so he can lay on top of her
>She has to awkwardly explain how she can't do that or her quills would ruin the couch so they just end up sitting side by side
>They turn on the TV and it turns out her notflix subscription just ran out so they have to settle for public programming
>An awkward silence develops but she's too shy and inexperienced to know how to break it
>After what feels like an eternity he suggests they move to the bedroom to continue the cuddling
>She jumps up excited at the chance to turn this cuddling session around
>They move to the bed and slip under the covers, laying side by side
>She runs her nails through his hair and desperately tries to remember what all her friends told her to say to customers to make them feel at ease
>"Hey Anon, you have really nice...uhh...you're just such a nice young man-I mean boy! You're such a nice boy. No, wait, you're a good boy, ya that's it. You're such a good boy Anon."
>"...thanks"
>"Don't mention it! And you have such nice hair. It's so smooth and uh, voluminous, and it's such a nice brown color. It really reminds me of, ummm, you know it's kind of like...dirt. But I mean that in a good way! You know dirt is important, it like, helps plants grow and things."
>"...can you please stop?"
>"Sure! S-sorry if I did anything to offend you. I-I didn't mean it." She apologetically stammers
>For a brief moment they lay on the bed and she continues to hold him close
>Things seem to be improving with how relaxed he seems to be getting
>That is until he gives a pained shout and scrambles off the bed, one of her loose quills having stabbed him on the foot
>She desperately tries to apologize but he just puts his shoes on and stomps out the door
>She checks cuddlr on her phone and sees a new review from the guy
>"Without a doubt one of my worst cuddling experiences to date. Awful at small talk, awful at physical contact, and I left her house with a bloody foot and I only got called a good boy one time. One time! 0/10 do not use."
>First she's sad, then angry, then she eventually tries to get over it
>Until it's been a week and so far no one has hired her to cuddle them
>The fact that this one stinking humie ruined her chances of ever being a professional cuddler drives her up the wall
>She makes a new account this time with the profile pic of a wolf and fake bio
>Waits until the same guy hires her
>Last time was a miserable failure, but this time she'll do better
>She gets lessons from her friends, reads a mountain of books on human psychology and cuddling tips, watches hours of cuddling tutorials on youtube, buys a manequinn to practice her moves on
>This time she'll show him just how affectionate porcupines can be, quills and all