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"No, go back to bed, Ellis," Crunch said quietly.

She gently grabbed the sleepy woman by her shoulders and steered her back to where her "bed" was on the floor.

"But Ms. Crunch, I need to start-" she whispered.

"No," Crunch said.

It was one of the few words of ours these people had picked up on. The another being 'yes'.

She gently pushed Ellis down. The woman obeyed, laying down.

"Ms. Crunch, what? I don't understand."

Crunch put her fingers gently on her mouth, then wiped her fingers down Ellis's eyes.

"Rest. Just wait."

Ellis probably had not idea what Crunch had said, but got the message anyway, setting her head back on the pillow and closing her eyes.

"Oh. Ok. Thank you."

Crunch patted her head, stood upright and beckoned for me to follow her again. I glanced over at Boomer, who was still sitting by the door. His father sat next to him, taking my place. When Crunch had traded John for me a few minutes ago Boomer had started to get up too. Now he was silently stewing, despite how happy his dad was to spend some silent time with his son.

I followed Crunch into the hall, and she made me stand where it emptied into the kitchen.

"Make sure she doesn't escape."

"Yes ma'am."

I had to fight hard to not smile. Now I knew what was going on.

People complained about being unable to see Elizabeth in her 'bedroom' and tripping over her in the dark. After the second night of her sleeping on the bathroom floor Crunch and I found an urgent need to go after we had returned from our patrol, The suit takes care of that normally, and we always wear our suits when we go out since they double as our armor, but we must have drank more water than we thought...

It's no a secret to anyone here that Crunch and I can see perfectly well in little light, but neither Crunch nor I bothered to step around Elizabeth. She made noises that were fun. It was great.

She's slept in the bathtub since then, which can't be comfortable. Why she didn't crash on the living room/kitchen/dining area floor with the rest of us beats me. You can stretch out and nobody snores. Not like Sidney and Sven do. Irene talks to herself sometimes, but if I push her into John she quiets down.

Crunch went into the bedrooms, likely to wake the occupants up gently. I could hear her convincing the confused people not to get up. Eventually she was done and walked back into the hallway and handed her N-5 to me, which I slung across my back while keeping mine where is was in front, before walking to the bathroom door.

She winked at me, lantern in hand.

"Now for the fun part."

I grinned.

She flung the door open and rushed into the bathroom, the brilliant light of a lantern on MAX blasted out of the open door and into the hall. Crunch's voice boomed from the room.

"Get up! Get up! Get up right now!"

"Ugh! Mrrrrr, what is wrong with you, ya fucking cat?"

"Move!"

I heard the shower turn on. There was a shriek and an outflowing of profanity, most of it directed at Crunch, and a frantic scrambling before the water turned back off again. There was a quiet cheering from the bedrooms and living room.

"Jesus Christ, what the hell?!" Elizabeth said "Go away! I don't bother you, so leave me alone!"

"I'll leave you alone when you start pulling your weight with everyone else! Get out of my damn tub!"

"I- Don't touch m- Oh Fuck!"

There was the squeak of skin on porcelain, the thud of a body hitting the bathroom floor. Elizabeth's tone was quickly changing.

"Ow! Shit that hurt! Leave me alone! Fine! I get it, you don't like me. I'll-"

There was a whap, like wadded fabric striking something.

"Dry off! Hurry! You have from the count of ten, tennineeightsevensix-"

"Lay off! What is your damn prob-"

I could hear a cloth being snatched.

"What the f-"

Multiple whaps. Probably clothes.

"Get dressed! You have until I fold this towel or you'll be wearing an apron and your soaked underwear until bedtime!"

I heard a scramble involving clothing, but that didn't stop Elizabeth's mouth.

"Alright! Fine, I get the picture. I'll leave. I'm gone. I'll go find a warm sewer or whatever."

Either Crunch took her time folding the towel, or Elizabeth dressed really fast, because I heard Crunch stop moving.

"You'll go nowhere," she said.

"I don't know who you think you are, cat, but fuck you too. I'm out. Move."

Crunch roared, and Elizabeth scrambled into the hall backwards her eyes wide and wearing only a black t-shirt over her underwear.

"Like hell you're out of here! You're mine! I'm your mom, like you made me!" Crunch said. "Get back here, brat! Clean up your mess!"

Elizabeth spun and ran full blast into me.

"Hoof! Ow!"

Our eyes met.

"Shit!"

She darted low and to the side, attempting to squeeze by me. I grabbed by her shoulders, picked her up, turned her around, set her down in front of me and pushed her towards a fired up Crunch that had just calmly stepped out of the bathroom like a tank from behind a boulder.

"Last chance," she said, pointing into the bathroom. "Come back here clean, brat."

Elizabeth struggled to get away from the monster, back into me, then trying to wiggle backwards out of my grasp to the side or down. Crunch started walking towards us and Elizabeth lost it.

"Oh god they're going to eat me! Someone help! Help! They're going to eat me like they ate all the other people! Sid! Anthony! John! Someone! Help me! Help!"

She broke down sobbing and crying, her face scrunched up like it had been that first night. She was shaking and didn't even bother to struggle as I handed her off to Crunch, who carried her back to the bathroom.

I heard Crunch dumped her onto the bathroom floor, and then there were two more whaps of cloth.

"Clean up your mess," Crunch said. "And when you're done in here, you can go clean where you made a mess in front of my Corporal."

Ah. I thought I smelt urine.

"Pants."

"Yes ma'am?"

"Be ready to grab her if she tries to make a run for it again, but let the rest... Stand by. Boomer!"

"Yes, ma'am!" came the reply from the living room.

"Let everyone know they can start their day, but that it might be a while before the bathroom can be used. Send them in partners to the third floor area if they need to go."

"Yes ma'am."

"And do not, under any circumstances, let Elizabeth out of that door. Make sure John knows."

"We won't let her out, ma'am."

Boomer did as he was told, mostly by just calling aloud from where he was by the door, and it wasn't long before I felt something soft collide with my leg. I looked down to see Dammit pounding on my leg, looking up at me.

"Stop hurting her!"

"I'm not hurting anyone," I said. "I'm just standing here. Why don't you go tell Crunch if you're worried?"

"Because Crunch is scary right now."

I froze. For someone who was supposed to know very little of what we said she sure gave one hell of an answer. I bent down and picked the kit up. Her eyes went wide and she immediately started fighting me, worming around to get free.

"Don't-!"

"Relax, I'm not going to hurt you. Do you know what I'm saying?"

I seated her in the crook of my arm before resting my free hand on the grip of my N-5. She nodded.

"I do. A lot."

"You seem pretty good at it. It must have been hard to learn."

The wonderful thing about children is you can find out whatever you want to know, despite what they've been told not to say, simply be asking the right questions. The terrible thing about children is anyone can find out whatever they want to know, despite what the child's been told not to say, simply be asking the right questions.

"Nu huh. I watch you and Crunch. She talks a lot to you. She's not as scary when you understand what she's saying."

"No," I said. "But she can still be really scary."

The kit nodded again.

"Yeah. When she's angry."

"Oh yes. So, why haven't you said anything to us before?"

"I did! But Anthony heard me and stopped me. He said I couldn't tell anyone, and had to pretend like I didn't know. He said I had to keep it super secret like he did."

"And now?"

"Anthony gave his secret yesterday. If he gets to talk to you, then so do I."

"Fair enough."

There was a crash, and Elizabeth dove out of the bathroom again. She jumped to her feet and took one step towards me before her face fell.

"Why are you still here?! Why won't you go away?!"

She didn't fight as Crunch grabbed her by the back of the neck, squeezing under the base of her jaw and pulled her back into the bathroom.

"She's not going to hurt her," I said.

"Then what is she doing?"

"She's teaching Elizabeth to not be so lazy."

"Oh. In that case don't stop her."

"I'm only keeping her from escaping."

"Good! Make her nicer, too."

"We'll see. Crunch has to make her not lazy first."

"Ok... Can you put me down, please?"

"Sure."

I set her back on the floor and she started to walk behind me when she stopped.

"Pants?"

"Yes?"

"Why do you call Anthony Boomer?"

"Because his rifle went boom and scared us when we met."

"Oh. Why do they call Ms Crunch, Crunch?"

"I'm not allowed to tell anyone that. You'll have to ask her."

"Oh, ok," she said, looking towards the bathroom door. I heard the splash of water, and Crunch yelling something about grinding head fur.

I winked at her. Another human expression, even stranger than nodding, but I think using them made us feel less strange to them. So I close one eye and opened it again.

"You might want to ask her before she knows you understand what she's saying though," I said.

If that mischievous smile hadn't been on a child so young I would have been gripping my cannon and calling out to Crunch for back-up. It quickly faded, and she looked up at me again.

"Um, why do they call you Pants?"

"Well, er, it's something I'm not supposed to explain until you're at least as tall as Elizabeth."

"Oh."

I had a feeling she was expecting an answer like that.

"What is your real name?"

I spent the next ten minutes watching her try to pronounce a name that is impossible with a human arrangement of cheeks and teeth. Finally,

"This is why you're called Pants, isn't it."

"One of the reasons."

"Do you have a name for me?"

"We both thought your name was Dammit until yesterday."

"That's not my name, silly! It's Samantha! You call me Samantha now, right?"

Oo, truth or not so truth?

"Don't you already know that?"

"No. You never talked about me."

"Ah. Well, usually we call you-"

"Pants!" Crunch said, her head poking out of the Bathroom. A subdued looking Elizabeth was in the process of being lead back into it by her hair.

"Yes ma'am?" I said.

"Are you ready... Are you holding a conversation with Dammit?!"

"Yes ma'am."

"And she..."

"I do! I understand what you're saying, Ms Crunch."

I squinted my eyes and hung my head. Crunch gave us (probably Dammit) a filthy look.

"You will ask Pants or me before you tell anyone anything we say. Do you understand, Dammit?"

The kit gave an exaggerated nod with wide eyes and a quiver.

"Yes ma'am!" She said, standing extra tall.

"Good. Make sure you always remember. "

Elizabeth whimpered. Dammit gave another exaggerated head nod.

"Yes ma'am! I will! I won't be bad like 'lizabeth! I'll always remember!"

Crunch grumbled something about intelligence and shoved Elizabeth back into the bathroom.

About fifteen minutes later it became quiet. I ventured forward and peered in the bathroom door to make sure they hadn't killed each other. Elizabeth was soaked and on her knees scrubbing the toilet. Crunch was just inside the doorway, supervising with a relaxed, bored look on her face.

"Both of you are alive, ma'am, I'm surprised."

Elizabeth stopped and turned to look up at me.

"No," said Crunch, pointing at the toilet. "I didn't say stop. Keep going."

Crunch turned back to me as Elizabeth turned back to the toilet, a smug smile washing over her from eyes to furry ears.

"We're still working on who I am, but obeying the terrifying shark-cat lady has been understood. Let my cleaning crew, cooking support, and John know they have the day off. My daughter has some catching up to do."

"Yes ma'am."

I turned to leave.

"Corporal."

"Yes ma'am?"

"Dammit does not leave the apartment, even with her parents to play with the ball just outside the door, nor is she out of your sight. As soon as drippy here is done with the bathroom and starting on the next chore the three of us are going to have a meeting. Boomer doesn't leave when his shift is up, either. We're going to have a... conversation with him as well. People need to know why we don't say some things and when we need to say others."

"Yes ma'am."