FSE

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Deep in a forest off the side of a trail lay a covered wagon decorated with various trinkets and baubles. The door on the back swung open by itself, as if by magic, revealing a dark and cluttered space that was bigger on the inside than the outside. Unfurled scrolls with arcane languages lay scattered among shelves with books detailing alien concepts arranged next to them. Beakers, bottles, and metal tools fought for space on the countertops. In the middle of the mess of magical implements lay a glowing blue orb on a table that swirled with an ethereal mist. A clawed hand reached out above it and gently lay its padded palm onto the glassy surface. The energy inside concentrated on its clawed digits and crackled near the edge of them.

“Welcome fellow mages, sorcerers, conjurers, shamans, and anyone else who practices the esoteric art of magic." spoke a feminine voice.

The hand tapped the orb twice and a cascade of blue fire erupted around the table, which settled on a series of candles surrounding the speaker. The unnatural ghostly glow of the candles somehow cast the figure in the middle under a neutral light. She looked like a feline woman with scales covering roughly half her body, a parting gift from a failed experiment. A horn sprouted out of the left side of her head blocking her ear, and the scales surrounding it trail down past her eye and onto her snout. One furry arm lay on the orb while the other draconic arm lay on the table.

“My name is Saahira. Welcome to my guide on safely pondering a magical orb."

_ Saahira's Guide to Safely Pondering an Orb _

“'But Saahira,' I hear you cry, 'is it really that dangerous to ponder an orb?' I completely understand why you might feel it is not dangerous. The stereotypical wizard is a wise and ancient figure who sits casually at a table much like this and ponders at an orb of similar quality. It can't be dangerous if they do it so often, right?" The Lynx steeped her hands together, fingers interlocked and her chin resting on them. “This is the kind of thinking that will lead to the death of many young mages. An orb contains so much raw magical energy once it gets going that it could kill anything it touches if handled improperly. Luckily, I will teach you how to treat it right."

A small bolt of electricity zapped her in the arm, causing her to yelp and jump out of her chair. Her fur puffs up thanks to the static, making her look like a blend of dragon and furball.

Words appear at the bottom of the frame. “Note: Wear heavy boots when manipulating an orb, and avoid wearing heavy metals."

_ Cleaning and Maintaining Your Orb _

“Most people are going to tell you that any glass cleaner will work on a magic orb. These are filthy lies. You need magical ingredients to clean a magical orb. And no: Prestidigitation will not work."

The draconic wizard dabbed a clear substance onto a rag and began wiping the orb with it. She took her time getting an even coating on every inch of its surface and making sure not to touch it with her hands while cleaning it.

“This is a substance I have prepared myself using some common ingredients you can find in any marketplace. There's some nirnroot extract, chicken intestinal fluid, and acid. If the merchant asks you what the acid is for, you tell him it's for educational purposes. If a guard asks you the same question, you prepare a longstride spell because those kinds of questions usually don't end well for us."

A mumbling is heard out of frame. Saahira looks up from her cleaning.

“No Banyan, I know you bought them. I'm trying to make a point."

The muffling continues and Saahira gains an exasperated look.

“It's my show! Can we pretend I bought it all?"

A loud scoff came from somewhere out of frame, and more text appeared at the bottom while Saahira rubbed her brow with her hand.

“Note: I make all the money, I pay for all the ingredients, I get to complain when I'm misrepresented."

Choosing the Right Orb

Instead of a single blue orb on the table, there were now half a dozen orbs of varying design, color, and size. Saahira spread her arms out and smiled with pride.

“This is my orb collection! Every good wizard has at least one, but a wise wizard has more than one as a backup."

Carefully skimming over her options, Saahira pointed at each one and began describing them. She pointed to a large red one.

“This is a fun but dangerous one. Lots of energy to play with but you need to wear gloves to safely use it." Next, a small yellow one. “Portable and fun. Unfortunately, it requires a sacrifice. At least one snapped neck per use. I just snap a chicken's neck." She leaned toward the audience and put her hand to her mouth while winking. “Psst, that's also where I get the cleaning stuff."

Finally, she came back to the blue one she had used from the start.

“I use this one a lot since it's reliable and big enough to do what I need. I haven't needed the others, but they're nice to have!"

Out of frame, a masculine voice is heard. “We go broke for all those things and you don't even use them?!"

Saahira looked indignant at his remark. “Quiet Banyan! I'm trying to teach here!" She crossed her arms and leaned back into her chair. “Oh, and edit this out when you get to it."

Text appeared at the bottom of the frame again. “No. I refuse."

_ Accessing the Wizard Wide Web _

The table was cleared of the excessive orbs except for the singular blue sphere. Saahira looked cheery again and bounced with excitement.

“This next part is my favorite. Using your orb and a trusty mouse, you can access what's known as the Wizard Wide Web. It's a collection of information created by other wizards that you can browse like a magical library from the comfort of your tower. Or uh, magic cart. Unfortunately for me, I don't have a mouse."

On the table next to the orb, a small rodent sat wearing a tiny cone hat decorated with stars. Saahira grabbed it and began tapping its head with one of her clawed fingers.

“A Rat will do in a pinch. Be careful though: They bite."

“Is only because you forget to retract your claws when you use me!" the Rat squeaked.

More text flashed at the bottom of the frame. “Note: Do not use Rats. That little bastard punched me and broke my knee."

The previous text was replaced by a new line. This time it was scraggly, as if written by a child. “I'm five inches tall. Deal with it."

“Always make sure to feed your Mouse or Rat enough food to leave them satisfied. Give them plenty of water as well, and never ever feed him alcohol! I lost a lot of expensive equipment after that incident."

“Oh, and never download spells from people on the web. They're almost always pranks that range from unfunny to terrorism. Like here: I just got a message." Saahira dragged the Rat on the table, eliciting a squeak of surprise. “artificerspeedkitten sent me a formula to make a tube of fireball. A tube? Of metal? Not a scroll? This is what I'm talking about. They send the strangest thin-" The Rat squeaked again and bit her finger. The Lynx winced and yanked her scaled hand off the table. “Ow! Quit it you little-"

_ Remote Observation _

“One of my favorite things to do with the orb is to observe distant events in different worlds. Our world is interesting, but there is an infinite multiverse out there to explore! Let's try it."

Saahira placed both hands over the orb and channeled her magic into it. With great effort, she conjured an image inside the swirling cloud of energy. A couple walks through a forest trail hand in hand. A Human man and a Wolf woman who towered over him. They are discussing something but no sound leaves the orb.

"Aww, how sweet." Saahira looks up from the orb and smiles. "They don't come with sound. If you want that, you're gonna have to get a magic mirror. You could also get an attachment for your Mouse or Rat, but those things are already finicky. Luckily, I've gotten good at reading lips. Let's see… 'Can't afford… Parents… Holiday…' I always find it funny they speak the same languages as us."

The mage waved her hand and the image fell back into the mist. She channeled her magic into the orb again, and a new scene revealed itself. Two Dragonborn: one bronze and one green, stood next to an Alligator shaman. The Gator carried a stick with a skull on the end, the bronze Dragon a large halberd, and the Green Dragon was wreathed in flowers and bone armor. Across from them, a large group of monstrosities constructed from corpses shambled toward them.

"Oh! Oh! I love these three! I call them 'Two and a Half Dergs' because one is a Gator, and 'derg' is a nickname for Dragons… Y'know what, never mind. Just watch this."

The two Dragonborn rushed forward at incredible speed. The bronze one swung his weapon and cut down a flesh monstrosity which split in two, then burst into white flame. The green one lifted her arms and a sea of vines grew from the ground around the group of monsters, immobilizing them. Immediately after, she ran forward and transformed into a Rhinoceros and trampled through the group. Meanwhile, the Gator danced in place with his stick and chanted rhythmically. Ghostly, glowing light wreathed over him and his allies, mitigating their wounds and reinforcing their attacks. Saahira watched the scene intently. Her eyes quickly flickered to the audience, then back to the orb, then she scrambled to sit up and waved the scene away again.

“Ehehe, sorry. I really like that one. Ahem, one more?"

One last time, the wizard held her hands over the orb and fought for control to project an image in it. This time, it opened up to a massive forest of metal structures taller than any castle. They blocked the skyline for miles. Humans rushed to who knows where like ants scurrying around a hill.

“You Humans always impress me with the things you manage without magic. This is a common sight in many worlds I've witnessed over the years. Let's see if this one is any fun."

She took a clawed finger and thumb and carefully spun them around the orb until the image panned around and caught something. Down below, two men in bright costumes were fighting in the streets while civilians panicked and ran or stayed to gawk at the battle. They held tiny rectangular things in their hands which they pointed at the combatants while energy blasts barely missed them.

"Oh! I've seen a world like this before. The people have completely random bloodline magic. It leads to some interesting drama. Let's find some more of them."

Another twist of her finger and thumb, and the image flies off a country away. Underneath an abandoned building, two figures are talking while using tools beyond comprehension. One is tall, with pale skin and stitches covering her body. She wears a white gown with a red cross on the back and a mask covers her face. The other looks vaguely Human, but with the ears and tail of a cat. He has dark brown skin that terminates in metallic limbs, and lines flow throughout his body that glows a pale blue light.

“Let me try reading their lips. Well, not the one with the mask." Saahira squinted at the creature and zoomed closer to him with the orb. “Uh, 'Humanity… need to feel… good guys…' I'm having trouble with this one. Too many foreign words. I can take a guess but… what the hell is a 'gravity?'"

The Lynx pulled out again and moved her view far away to the other side of the landmass until she found a massive structure placed in the middle of a metal hive. She zoomed in and viewed two figures sitting in large recliners. One looked like an Elf in golden armor. His beautiful blonde hair, glowing eyes, and statuesque body made him look like a legendary warrior from an ancient tale. In contrast, the demon sitting across from him was his opposite. It wore a red cloak with black markings and gold trim. It had dark skin that absorbed all the light it touched, and red eyes with black sclera. The duo seemed to be having a calm conversation.

“Okay, one last time." Saahira perked up at the scene and began reading their lips. “'Paladin, fight the… problems… warming, pollute…'"

The Lynx focused on the demon, and his eyes lit up. Red electricity crackled between his horns and he turned to face her.

“'Stop, hold… we're being… watched.'"

The demon stood up and pointed at her. Saahira's eyes went wide and she quickly waved her hand over the orb, obscuring the image. She sat back in her chair and clutched her chest, panting slowly and gathering herself.

"Okay. Be careful not to observe someone stronger than you."

_ Closing Thoughts _

Much like the scene at the start, Saahira sat in her chair with one hand over the orb and a cavalcade of candles lit with unnatural blue flames surrounding her. Inside the orb, an image of a Human man obscured in blue smoke stumbled around. He even responds to the Wizard tapping on the glass with her claw by cowering.

"Thank you for viewing my guide on proper orb pondering. I hope that if you follow my instructions correctly, you will be safe and successful while using an orb of sufficient power."

Inside the orb, the man yelled up at the Lynx. His screaming was audible inside the glass.

“Let me out of here you giant bitch!"

Saahira leaned down toward the orb and snorted at his howling. “How about you pay me back for the things you stole from me and I'll consider it? Maybe if you grovel and pray I'll be more lenient." She fell back into her seat and held her draconic hand up, looking at the audience. “Be seeing you."

With a snap of her fingers, the candles were extinguished, leaving the wagon pitch black.

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