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Chapter 1 - The Beast Within

-W-

Darkness.

For a long time there was only darkness.

I was aware of some things. Feelings mostly. They were not mine. I was still growing, I had no feelings of my own. The hunger would come later. The feelings were his, I was just a small part deep within. Maybe I was nothing more than one of those feelings myself, growing into something more. I was a part of him slowly becoming more aware. He was kind, reckless and foolhardy, but kind. I never knew his name while I was growing, I just knew what he was feeling. I clung to the happy emotions. The pleasures. Food. Sex. Satisfaction. Empathy? Compassion?

I didn't understand the more complex feelings in the beginning, I only related the first few. I was born of animal instinct. Maybe in someone else I would have only grown with those instincts. Maybe I would have fed off of anger and rage if they had been there, but they weren't. At least not in strong amounts. When those feelings bubbled in it was mixed with sadness. It was a crushing feeling I did not care for.

It was that very feeling that I remember most when I first came to be, when I was truly born. It had hit him harder than I had ever felt the emotion before. It was a wave, overwhelming, suffocating, it surrounded and dampened all the other wonderful feelings I was used to sharing with him. Sadness of loss. He had lost someone. Someone important. I imagined I would feel the same if I was to lose him. Crushing sadness. I was beginning to understand empathy. It was not enough, I sat in the darkness feeling what he felt, understanding and yearning to help.. but I couldn't.

I had never communicated with him. I simply existed within his mind and body. I knew I was a part of him, but I had become my own entity. My own thoughts. My own feelings. Different from his but heavily influenced. I began to wonder if there was more. I wanted to be with him, I wanted him to be aware he wasn't alone. With that heavy loss, with that heavy sadness.. he felt so alone. More alone than I felt.

So I separated from him. For the first time. I didn't understand how I did it, or what exactly 'it' was.. but I relied on my instincts. He was sleeping. This was probably for the best given how frightening an experience it would end up being. I climbed out of him.. I stretched an arm out of his arm. I had claws, he did not. I had fur. He did not. My hand felt around out of sheer, overwhelming curiosity. I had never had a physical body before, it was exhilarating. It was frightening. Touch. Touch was new. I liked it.

His bedding was soft, pleasant to touch. So I did. I kept pushing and kneading at it until I realized I realized it was feeling.. different than when I had started. Tentatively I felt it over.. Claws. I had claws. Sharp things. It seemed they had dug into his bedding. Shredded and tore it. A harmless mistake. A mistake I was very careful not to repeat when I touched him. Carefully, slowly I moved my hand back toward where it had started, inside of his hand. Instead of sinking back in and disappearing back into my dark void, I felt him. I felt his hand. It was smaller than mine. Soft, mostly smooth. Not furred like mine. No sharp claws.

I wanted more. I felt like there was more, so I followed my instincts and began to pull more of myself out of him. My other hand peeled out of his hand without harming him. Still he slept. My nose began to pull out from his, my mouth pulled from his. Eyes. Ears. A whole head. There was a cacophony of feelings. Of sensations. New experiences. The room was dark, but not like the darkness I was used to. I could see here. I could smell. I could hear. I didn't understand the new senses right away as I took them all in but my instincts did. My ears flicked towards the sound of something outside the room. My instincts dismissed it, no danger.

I let my newfound eyes roam his body. Our body? No.. while my neck and head were forming out of his.. I could feel the rest of my body was still hidden behind his flesh. I could only see my hands extending from his wrists, but I knew more lay behind them.. so I pulled. I watched with new eyes as I peeled away from him, and the more I pulled the more I realized how different we were. I pulled nearly my whole body from him, I left us connected at our legs. I wasn't sure what would happen if I left him completely.. Could I go back? I felt a new emotion, one rarely felt from him.. this one was entirely my own. Fear. I feared the unknown. I feared not being able to return to the comfort of my dark place within him. This new world was uncharted territory, exciting but terrifying.

He had seemed restless, maybe because of me. I kept touching him, as if to make sure he was real. To make sure I was real. I touched the wetness that had collected and dried beneath his eyes. His sadness had taken form the same as I had. He was pale skinned, with messy, dark hair atop his head. He was male, this I knew already from certain feelings I had shared with him in my dark space. He slept naked, I could confirm it now. I could also confirm that I too had taken a male form. we were different down there however. I stopped exploring this part of him when he really began to stirr. His body seemed so delicate compared to mine. Mine felt powerful. Did he feel powerful? Without the fangs or claws I had, I didn't imagine he did, but I had been inside him.. I knew how powerful he felt when he was doing whatever unknown, exciting things sent his reckless mind into a flurry of passionate, joyous and intense emotions. Emotions laced with fear of injury but emboldened by the rush. I would protect him. I knew my purpose now.

I retreated after I had spent some time watching him sleep. Returning to his body was a conscious decision, my hands stopped touching and instead faded and melted back into his. It was comforting to be back in my home, my safe home where I could once again feel his emotions. It saddened me that even in his sleep his troubled emotions were bubbling endlessly, but I promised myself that I would help soothe those troubled thoughts. I would show myself when he was awake.

I would meet him.