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>Your scaly wife is sobbing wildly into your shoulder

>"I-I-I just wanted one more taste, just one more taste goddamnit. Why must everything I love in this life be fleeting?! My existence is nothing more than an unending stream of misery now that I will never have another Bowman's™ Brew™ Pumpkin™ Coffee™, or another hearty plate of Bilbo's™ Breakfast™ Feast™. Why-why-why-WHYWHY?! "

>You pat her on the shoulder and the cries of anguish continue

>Looking around you're glad there weren't many people outside the Dennys™ right now

>Your wife was normally so even tempered, but when the waitress told her the promotional menu had been discontinued she ran out crying

>Her loud cries gradually die down to quiet whimpers and you continue to stroke her back, your shoulder now soaking with her tears

>It breaks your heart to see her like this, but what to do about it?

>It takes several days and nights of experimentation and hard work to get everything just right but you think you've finally done it

>After setting breakfast down onto the table you move to the bottom of the stairs and call your wife down

>She rubs the sleep out of her eyes as she sees you in a unusually chipper mood

>"Honey? Why are you up so early? It's the weekend."

>"I made breakfast and wanted you to eat before it got cold."

>Her face droops, just the word breakfast was all it took to put her in a grim mood now

>"O-Okay honey..."

>But the second she rounds the corner her face lightens up with childlike excitement

>For a few moments she's too surprised to speak

>You nudge her on the side to bring her out of her food induced daze

>"Honey Cake French Toast? Sweet Potato Pecan Pancakes? Oh my god, you even recreated Bilbo's Breakfast Feast. Honey..."

>She looks to you with a wide smile and hugs you tightly, her claws almost tearing your shirt

>The entire meal she's beaming with joy, remarking how your cooking isn't as good as Dennys is, it's even better!

>When she stuffs the last crispy hashbrown down her gullet she leans back in her chair in a blissful stupor

>After pouring yourself another homemade Bowmans Brew Pumpkin Coffee you look up to her with a sly grin

>"Babe?"

>"Huh?" She lazily blurts out

>"You full?"

>She just nods her head up and down, her food coma too strong to let her do anything else

>"Good, good, but there was one last thing I made that you have yet to try."

>She perks up just a bit

>"And what's that?"

>"My Hearty Breakfast Sausage, though I guess we can make it my Hearty Brunch Sausage if you want some time to nap a bit."

>She stares at you with a lusty glare, licks her lips, then...falls asleep right there on the chair

>Hearty Brunch Sausage it is then