Lying Soldiers
"The Dra'nar species is an insect like species, but it would be a mistake to think of them only as that. To say they are just insects, are saying humans are just monkeys. While we may share some traits with monkeys, we are far more than they - as they are far more than mere insects. They have dreams, hopes, fears, aspirations, and, I if you believe in it, believe they have souls. Are they entitled to any less love? Any less respect? Are they to be crushed as bugs? Or are they to be embraced, as friends, companions, confidants? Are we to hate them, based on flesh, chitin, and strangeness, or should we say to them: "Welcome, sister. Welcome, brother. Come, sit at our fire, and let it warm you. Are we to create the mistakes of the past? Are we to prove we are barbaric?" - Ambassador Franklin D. Munjubah, to the United Nations on the debate of formal alliance before the vote.
I felt something snap, and it wasn't a pleasant feeling.
Hands held me aloft, or was it something underneath? I couldn't see, and each movement sent jarring sparks of agony through my body - each touch made my skin feel as though I'd put my hand on the converter cell in the engine room again. My hand itched, I remembered that day for a moment, the feeling of the burns that went across my palm. I still had the scar as a good, painful reminder. I was jostled again, the sound of a pretty voice wafting in and out of my thoughts. Suddenly, I could not feel the heat of the sun. I couldn't smell the faintly sweet air of Tetranekon's bay.
I was cold. Very cold. A weak groan left my mouth as I felt the universe turn out from under me, and the slipperiness of my guts being pushed aside, and pain radiating, for just a spark of a moment, through my battered system. did not want my organs harvested by anyone but the medics back home and raised my hand, only for it to be pushed down, for the world to spin and liquid fire be injected into my veins, sending me back underneath the horizon of awareness, if only just. It was strange, the way I felt my guts being pushed aside, and the terrible throbbing beat of my heart being slowed, and stopp-
Echoing Silence.
-the beat returned, and I jerked, my eyes fluttering open to the sight of a doctor standing over me - the chitin glistening in the morning dew and the room sealed with the smell of high oxygen everywhere. And when I moved, I gagged, but could not turn, could not breath, could nto talk - my throat was filled with a tube, my lips sealed around it, and my tongue swollen , dry, and dusty for it. I was thirsty, but not dehydrated, I could feel the needle pushed into my arm - that I could see out of the corner of my eye. The world began to waver and swell, and reality, as though it were a soap bubble, popped and I was sunk beneath the waters of consciousness to be scrubbed against a rather large plate.
"Go back to sleep, captain." A voice said, soothing me. It sounded so familiar...
Beep. Beep. Beep. Monitors sang a chorus of boops and tings, and they managed to awaken me from the heavy state. It was though my skull had been used as a rock press, my arteries feeling like mush and I could feel the individual blood cells bumping into each other. It was a strange feeling, and sort of made my stomach turn. I didn't want to hear my body working. I tried to sit up and move, but my limbs were distant, and my thoughts were like jelly, slathered on toast and put into a freezer to solidify, and not want to move no matter how hard I banged on it. Even my thoughts stopped making sense, and I fought the urge to fall into darkness again. I felt like I'd been there too long.
"It's not wise to resist the medication, Captain." The voice, like honey, rang in my ears and I turned my head, only slightly, to look upon the jeweled mandibles of a rather interesting, and almost comely, creature. Norlat, of green chitin that waxed almost aquamarine, and with large eyes, much like dinner plates, staring back that held an almost golden hue. She wasn't beautiful, by human standards - but I found her kind of cute. "You should sleep. I have been granted permission to wait beside you until you awaken fully."
I wanted to talk, but the tube in my throat didn't give me a chance to do so. I looked around again at the battered walls, tracing the sight of gunshots which had ripped through the room, and the stains of blood from someone, something, that had bled red. The room was smaller than a human would have had - but we humans were much bigger than they were, I had to reflect. She put a hand on my brow, the cool chitin on her fingers soothing the heat I was giving off. A fever, but, at least I was alive.
"Kertechhik managed to seal the injury so that you would not bleed out." She said, speaking to the medic whom had been frothing at his mouthparts due to the heavy doses of stimulants that kept him from going catatonic. A tough bugger though, a very tough bugger. "You humans are far tougher than you look."
I wanted to laugh but couldn't find the energy. She pulled back the sheets and I gazed at the massive staples that held my stomach together and traced the wicked scars that I'd have. They ran from groin to sternum, but thankfully had missed somewhere sensitive by a few centimeters. With luck I'd be able to perform. She drew the sheet back after a few moments of lingering upon my flesh and then resumed her seat beside me. Her breathing spicules, located at her abdomen, pulsed as she took another breath.
"You worried us, Captain. You saved many lives with a stand and bought time. It appeared to have slowed the assault when a small line refused to budge. It confused them long enough for a counter attack. They were driven off after a harsh fight. I... admit I could not bring myself to leave you. I was worried." There was a hint of relief in her eyes, and at the dulcimer tones of her voice. Still as formal as the day I'd met her. "You worried me."
She reached and put her hand on my face and lowered my eyelids with a delicate touch of her fingertips, and I submitted to her desire that I sleep. I did, but in sleep, I found myself in dreams.
We met underneath the moon. A brilliant double moon, with two small spheres hanging above the sky and showing their face in a rather beautiful display. A beautiful sight, the sky a dark lavender as I went for a quiet walk along the edge of the cities frame - given to go on leave from the small depot he had set up near their spaceport. They had been as hesitant as we had, at first - but accepted that we could have put one by force if we desired, and had asked permission. Plus, it might keep off an enemy that had been bothering them for several centuries.
Plus, we hadn't bombed them from orbit and killed their young.
I met her under the moon, I, a soldier in rest fatigues out and looking at a rather beautiful garden, and she returning from a dispute between neighbors. She walked as I did - she a guardian, an officer of peacekeeping and law whom saw that honor was maintained between the several sentient creatures on this planet. It was not an easy job - no more than any job of peacekeeping was. I had glimpsed her, the light playing across her chitin and the gleam of the metal buttons of her thin wrap marking her as one whom worked with the civilian populace. Her eyes had seen mine and I hers, and she stopped, much as I did.
It was tense. She was tense, and I was as well - but curiosity overrode fear, interest in something so different, yet so sentient, held me motionless. I supposed she felt the same way as we just looked at one another, those large eyes of hers gleaming for the moonlight made them so.
"Hello, Hunam." She spoke, mispronunciation of my species name was common, for the small error in translation had lead to long term problems. I didn't bother correcting her, either. No, I extended my hand in formal greeting, with my fingers spread wide and palm up. Her hand came, after a moment, and covered my own, mimicking the gesture.
"Hello, Dra'nar-Guardian." Dra'nar Builder, Dra'nar Guardian, Dra'nar Thinker, Dra'nar Drone. There were four common variants of this multi-species kind, each having united into a single symbiotic species under the singular banner of Dra'nar. It was all very fascinating how the species evolved together and united in a very common purpose of mutual survival. It was unique, possibly singular. I had a fascination for their culture. "How may I assist you tonight?"
"There is no task requiring your assistance. I am returning from duty, and finishing my night shift. If it is not a burden, I would ask if you would join me?" I was not offended. Indeed, it was by small movements that one could win a war or change a nation - and it would have been rude to refuse, by their culture, and by my orders to present a good face to these aliens.
"I would be honored, Dra'nar-Guardian." I spoke, nodding my acceptance of her offer. I turned and walked in step with her, a little slower than I was used to but, the evening warranted a pleasant walk. I didn't have to report to duty for another twenty hours, either. We walked the paved road - not for vehicles were rare, but that the joy of walking was common. And, under two moons, who could blame them? I was awed by their glimmer and shine so high above.
"Formally, I am named Norlat." She spoke again, looking ahead with eyes that were set to look for hidden danger and threats that was as much instinct as it was training. I walked alongside her, comfortable, confident, and drawn to the soft smell that came from her body - like oranges and tangerines after a light roasting in the oven.
There was little else to say after I told her my name and rank, and we just walked together, both sharing our presences without sharing our thoughts - neither asking a question, just enjoying a mutual company and respect for one another. And when I walked her to her station, she brushed one of her great antennae against my brow and walked in - a way of saying thank you in a rather close manner. I suppose I would have been flattered, if it hadn't felt like a hundred feathers brushing my forehead all at once, sending a shiver down my back. It was like being tickled, in its own way.
In retrospect, it was the best conversation I could ever remember having.
Awareness came again. Norlat sat beside me, holding a book in hand. The printing press had been a relatively early invention for this species, and reading a hobby from all walks of their mutual perspectives. I made a note to learn to read their language if only so I could write a Thank-You note to the medic and doctors who had pulled off what should have otherwise been impossible. After all, how many other people had survived major impalement and lived?
The intubation tube was no longer in my throat and I swallowed, feeling the soreness and ache as it ran down into my stomach and back up again. I turned slowly onto my side and groaned, stretched, and felt the aches of... how long? I must have laid flat on my back for weeks. Her hand came to rest upon my side, as I felt the sheet slide along my body, and swallowed again - mouth dry, and throat burning for it. I was hydrated, but so very thirsty.
"You have slept very deep, Captain. It is good to know you are awake now. I have not left your side." She stroked a hand through my hair, which had been shaved back, I felt. Looking up at her, I could see the momentary joy in those eyes, before she urged me to lay back down, though my muscles protested going back into that position. I looked down - the wound was not as fresh, but I'd have trouble moving too far with it. Muscle was a bitch to grow. "Do take it easy - I do not wish you to strain."
I sat up fully, feeling my abdomen throb for the effort but not give any real signs of pain. Sitting up, the world felt as though it were spinning, and this too faded away. Her hand fell onto my back, steadying me. A small glass of water, room temperature, was handed and I sipped at it, slowly as I did not want to incur her wrath, worry, or soreness to a healing stomach.
"Thank you, Norlat. That water tastes good." It, like the hospital itself, tasted sterile, no scent, no flavor, and bland. Of course, the fact I could taste at all, or even sit up to take a drink was a blessing all its own. She moved her seat to stay in my view, and held the water for me to enjoy, or at least to take away the burn that continued to build at the back of my throat. She also held a bowl of jello - and that I ate with slow relish.
"It is good that you awake. I have been informed to tell you that at the start of the next lunar cycle there is to be a celebration, now that the city has been fully reclaimed and the invaders driven from our planet. There are to be many honored on this day - and this will also signal the day that we request to join as allies and friends in formal union. Your people sacrificed for us, and we would honor them, as they did not have to." She put her hand on mine - and squeezed it very gently. I accepted the warmth of her touch with the softest of smiles, since my face hurt.
"I am glad. We could do far worse for friends and companions, than your people." I gave my reply, and she slid a hand up, to touch my face for a part of a moment, as a friend holds the hand of another. I smiled up to her, and she down to me, this sharing of emotions enough to make me relax from the weak pain. "Maybe we'll put a permanent outpost here while we expand towards your territories."
"That's for the diplomats to decide. Secondly, they wanted you to give a speech about cooperation and communication being relevant, as well as honoring the sacrifice, for it was your squad that lost the most soldiers, and fought the hardest." My face fell, not just for my loathing of giving speeches, but for fact I lost so many soldiers. I knew I would have to tell many families that had lost young. "If only to commemorate the loss and honor the forgotten."
She shared the silence with me, and I could feel her mourning, inside. And my arms wrapped her form, and we held one another, to remember, and miss, those we had lost together. And for a moment, I felt as though I could weep. And I did.
"Why did we come here?" That was the question I had been asked before - by those I fought with, by some whom died for this place, for this city, for these people. "Why did we come here, to hear the cals for help, when it could have been a hundred centuries, decades, millennium too late to make a difference. Why did we come here?"
A crowd of survivors - every survivor except those whom had volunteered to serve as a guard around the city just in case those driven off wanted another go at things. Hopefully there wouldn't be a reason for them, but one never knew. The crowd swelled and listened, the light of the twin moons and the many lights that surrounded the central plaza. They provided a ring, a stage of light for everyone to be seen, and everyone to see.
"Why were we willing to die for those who we don't even know? Why are we willing to come to the aid of strangers? Why do we put our lives at risk, when you aren't even the same species? Amongst humanity, we have hated people for being different, for being strange. Only tow hundred years ago, I would have been not permitted to join the forces. I would not be permitted to fly, not permitted to own land, to have a say in my own life. My dark skin would have made me a villain."
I stood, despite the pain of it - and held onto the podium, my gravity-chair resting behind me and humming with the energy cells that kept it aloft. I prayed I didn't have to sit in the middle of the speech. Both to avoid shaming myself, and to honor those who had fallen as long as I could keep talking.
"Why did we risk our lives? Our health? Our safety? Because even if we hate someone, if they call for help, we will be there. If they need our assistance, we will forgive past injuries and make our way out, risking danger and death, to lend a hand to help a fellow traveler along this road. We are not afraid to help someone - anyone - that needs it, even if we get nothing out of it than a thank you. Sometimes not even that. What I'm saying, humanity likes to be hero. We like to explore. We like to walk amongst people and know them - be friends with them, share with them, embrace them. Not all of us, sure, but most of us will offer a hand without asking your name, or caring what you look like. That's how we are. That's why we came. We didn't know you were in a war - we only knew you asked for help. We didn't know how far you were. Only that you asked for help. We didn't know your names. Only that you asked for help. And I..."
My strength gave and I collapsed, crashing into the podium and holding onto it for dear life, as I made a fool of myself on stage. I gripped, until hands held me up - my commander on the left, and the familiar grip of someone I cared for on the right, both lending their strength to pull me up, to my feet. I smiled to both of them.
"And... I talk too much. Thank you. Tonight we will mourn your dead as our own. We ask you do the same." I was helped to my seat and directed to my spot, while the Commander shook my hand - squeezing once and patting me on my back, carefully. Looking out, I saw the faces of this strange, quiet species, and a part of me felt anger - questioning why we'd did this. It was uncharacteristic, against what I'd said - but it was perfectly human to do. I pushed these thoughts out of my mind, especially when I looked to the other hand that rested beside me. She who had been at my side for several months.
"Short, concise, and to the point. Our leaders could learn to make speeches like that."
"So could all politicians."
That night, we honored our dead, and we honored their dead, and we honored each other for sacrifice and courage. There had been none that did not fight in this place - either those on the front, whom many lost a part of themselves out there. I rested in my gravity chair as she stood nearby - refusing to leave me, as though I would break the moment her back was turned. A glass of her native drink rested in one of her hands, and I held onto a bottle of water - not trusting myself with anything alcoholic, and probably wouldn't be permitted any more for a few years as my body continued to heal.
"I actually volunteered to go on this mission." I said, looking out at the waves that pushed up against the shoreline - splashing high, cresting at ten feet before rolling backwards - back against the tide of the two moons, against the push of this alien sky. It seemed like all the good things in this world happened under those moons. "A deep space study - I volunteered to go out when the mission commander said something about it. I offered my team, my squads, my knowledge. I don't regret my decision. It is the best thing humanity could have done. I could have done."
She was adorned in a long, elegant wrap, which crossed the abdomen and up along her forelimbs, while trailing out as a great scarf might across her left arm. Her right was bare, but that was her weapon hand and Dra'Nar-Guardians did not like being unable to defend themselves or others. Along her lower half, which the four legs carried her well - she bore a silk-like binding, which danced along her form and hung low - a soft, dull brown against her green aqua body. Her antennae were wrapped with gold wire, as were her ovipositors behind. I should have blushed for looking, but it was just two different cultures.
"Earth, the colonies, they were nice. We are spread out over seventeen worlds, your kind are the first we have met. We were afraid we were alone out here - in this great ocean of stars and nebula." I was waxing philosophical tonight. Maybe it was the pain medication kicking in, helping me forget that my liver had been punctured by some bastards pike. She listened without speaking, without commenting, as though her thoughts were on my every word. "To have this chance was exciting. To, to be able to go out, explore, see new things - and meet people. Like this. Like you."
The world swam a little bit, and I felt detached, calm, and a little warm - too much rice-wine after graduating from the officer academy. I looked up at her as my eyes felt droopy, and she put a hand on my own, squeezing once.
"You look tired, Captain. Perhaps you should rest." I gave her a nod, and pulled her forward just a little bit, my hand holding upon her limb, tracing the small jewels wrapping around her limb - the cloth and decorations playing a beautiful rhythm, highlighting her strange, alien uniqueness. Was it beauty? Right now, even the grass looked beautiful. "I will escort you to your barracks if you like."
"Might be a good idea." I said, as she stepped behind and began to guide my cart around - leading me towards the barracks - towards the small human section that had been given for our own colonization efforts. She took me towards the section then stopped, and made a sharp left turn, towards the guardian district - which was a good buffer between us and them, and would help keep the temptation for aggression down on both sides. I looked upon the buildings, stone and plastic and steel all girded together to make a mishmash of well designed structures. They seemed to emphasize light and open spaces. She lead me through the street, past the thinning crowds, and then towards a quiet, small building on the corner of one of the larger avenues.
"This isn't the barracks." I said, dully. My head was still swimming, and I only wanted to drift on the currents that fluttered through me. We entered into her apartment and up, into her loft - where I was greeted with scents and images of family, friends, decorations and books - a lot of books. I sat back, my head swimming, while she looked at me.
"I need my full ID to access - I have been given clearance to escort you into your barracks and through the city, until such time as my services are no longer required." An honor guard - some soldiers would have seen it as a punishment. Others, like her, as a chance to help someone heal, and recover. I liked to believe I would have done the same in her place. I watched her, and everything felt a little more clear - for the moment.
"I'm glad we came. I got to meet you." I said. Sure. She was a bug. An insect. Something with the wrong number of limbs and defiantly the wrong shaped head. But, I didn't care. Maybe it was the drugs. It was probably the drugs. I felt good. I wanted to make everyone feel good. "We got to fight together. I'd die for you."
"But would you live for me?" She lifted the ID, written in her script and with several identification features marked upon it - from the shape of antennae to the hue of her eyes and chitin. It didn't do her justice, I felt. It was definitely the drugs. Had to be. I looked up, trying to comprehend her words, while the back walls started to wobble, like jello, or rain streaking the glass. Yet she stayed in sharp focus. It was a nice focus. I liked aquamarine. It was comforting.
My head swam a little more - and I looked up into those large eyes.
"I would live for you. Why, what are you trying to say?"
Was she nervous? I think she was nervous. Her antennae swept outwards and made curious little question-mark shapes, probably just random chance but it was interesting how similar some things between us were. How alone we could be - and how we wanted to share comfort amongst strangers. God, I had to get my dosage reduced. I shouldn't have been this flighty with my thoughts. I fought it a little harder to focus on her words, as she settled on the strange lifted furniture of hers.
"There has been a press to have a permanent stationed group here. While you recover, it would not be very good for you to travel. It would provide security for our people, and an excuse for your people to come this way. For you to stay. If you want to. For a while."
She was nervous. Perhaps the same age as I, and like I, never really good on some things. I drew my seat closer to hers, until my knees brushed one of her legs, and lowered my head to watch her. It was a flattering offer. I marveled at the look of her clothing - the wrap was more for providing her with a decent look without making her become gaudy. It was nota s though she needed the extra warmth, as her species drew heat from the air and surroundings. Didn't hurt that the temperature was a little higher in this world than I was used to. I was rambling. Again.
"You would like for me to volunteer to stay here, in hopes of remaining in close contact with this planet, this society, this civilization... with this person who sits in front of me, nervous that I'll reject the offer because she's afraid that I'd refuse her, because I find her so different, and alien, and strange?" I said, blurting and probably slurring a few of the words. I didn't care. Why would I care? "Norlat. I'll talk to my commander. See... see if I can stay. I'd like that. Plus, it's not good for the healing to travel."
As flimsy an excuse as I could think of. I couldn't think of much, really. It didn't feel right to think, just to experience was all I wanted to do. My eyes closed and I hugged her. I felt her. I felt a lot of things. What had they given me? I touched her face with a hand then sat back, feeling light headed from the day.
The rest of the evening was a blur, but I do know, when the morning came, I was glad to finally have someone to hold in my arms. It was strange, certainly, and for a moment I was worried - but I'd fallen asleep in my chair and my clothes were still slept in. I didn't mind. I really didn't. Why would I? We weren't compatible. But I felt as close to her as any lover I'd ever had. I cared for her. She cared for me. And wasn't that what a human did?