confessions
Story by Isaac Cahn on SoFurry
no sex.
I woke up with my whole body sore, I couldn’t remember much of what happened. Why was I sleeping in the bathroom? I took in most of my surroundings to try to piece together what happen. Okay, I am in the bathroom, I am lying on some towels, one towel I placed on top of me, maybe as a makeshift blanket, and me and Fredrick are cuddling naked underneath it. What?
I can feel Fredrick’s naked body against mine, I just felt so embarrassed. Then I remembered what I did before I fell asleep. OMG, I can’t believe I did that. I moved away from Fredrick, my face completely beat red.
He woke up after that, “Hey Val, what time is it?” That the first thing you ask? He seemed to remember what we did moments later, “We have things we need to discuss.”
“I am so sorry.” I blurted out.
He was startled, “What? I am the one who has to apologize.”
“But I did those things in the shower”
“What things?” did he forget?”
“The sex”
Fredrick just laughs, “You make it sound like a bad thing.”
“It is a bad thing, I raped you!”
“No you didn’t.”
“Yes I did!”
“Val,” Fredrick said in a calm voice,” think about it, I had opportunities to leave at any point, but I stayed and continued. I didn’t struggle, I didn’t resist. Even if the kiss caught me off-guard, I still consented.”
I try to rebut him, but Fredrick kissed me before I could object. I let our lips stayed like that, I didn’t try to move away, just stayed there enjoying the feeling of our lips connect. When he pulled away, my lips felt cold without them, “so still think I didn’t consented?”
“No, I raped you.”
“Val, what do I have to do to prove that you did not rape me?” He was sounding hurt.
“I know what I did. There is no way a person like you would have sex with me willingly.”
Fredrick grabbed my arm and forced me onto the floor. The cold floor sapped the warmth out of me while Fredrick sat on top of me. “See I am stronger then you. If I really tried to get away, I would have.” I tried to break his hold, but it was too strong. He was telling the truth, he could have gotten away with ease, but he stayed and had sex with me. I felt happy.
I remember the dream when I am caught by the wolf, he would kiss me. Part of me wanted Fredrick to kiss me there, but I couldn’t ask him. I started to feel aroused. When he got off of me, I just stared at him for a moment. “Well, we should get dressed.” We were still naked. There were two piles of clothes each with our name on them. We put them on then left the bathroom.
The clock on the night stand said it was 8: 57 p.m. Shit, I promised Will to take him to the store. The store would be closed when I get there. “Anything wrong?”
“I promised Will to get his new game today.”
“Already taken care of,” Poram was at the door, “while you two danced in dreamland, I took Will to the store.” He looked at Fredrick, “now you told him?”
“No, not yet.” Told me what?
“Just tell him, you idiot. Do you want me to do it?”
“No, I will.” Fredrick took me to his bed and Poram closed the door.
The silence that settled in got on my nerves. I spoke first, “what were you two talking about?”
Fredrick looked lost or at least trying to find the right words. What he said surprised me, “Val, I am a werewolf.”
“What?” my response was flat.
“I am a werewolf, have been for years. So are my parents, William, even Poram.”
“What are you talking about? You aren’t making any sense.” Who just says that out of the blue?
“But it is true.”
“Then prove it.” ask and you shall receive. Fred got up. At first I didn’t notice it, but I saw him transform. His nails grew longer, he got hairier, and his face seemed to shift too. His whole body was changing, I didn’t turn away, I watched as he changed before me. When he stopped transforming I recognized his look, it was the wolf that I had sex with one month ago.
I didn’t understood what I was feeling at that moment. Anger, sadness, relief, or maybe some combination, I just didn’t know. When he put his hand out I slapped it away. I felt like crying, the person I had a crush on was a werewolf, fucked me, and then left without saying anything. I was so confused. I started sobbing. I just wanted to be alone. Fred didn’t leave, he stood where he was the whole time, still in werewolf form. He watched me through my whole breakdown. I needed to face the facts, my friend and crush was the werewolf who took my virginity, but that didn’t upset me. The fact he left me confused and alone afterwards is what hurt the most. I lied down on the bed and curled into a ball. Fredrick took this as a sign to join me.
“I am sorry, Valrez.” He said behind me. “I wished I could have told you earlier, I wished I could have told you in another way.”
“Then why didn’t you!” I vented at him.
“I was scared,” he put his werewolf arms around me, “I was scared if I told you, you would hate me, fear me. I didn’t want to lose you. I wanted to tell you for so long, but I chickened out at the last minute every time.”
The hug reminds me of how he did it last month. I thought I was going to die and started to cry. He was there in wolf form to console me. Now he was doing it again, comforting me.
“How would you tell me?” I asked
“Huh?”
“If you have told me earlier, what would you have said?”
He seemed startled but he then started to talk about it. It started awkward, but he then went into details about werewolves. There history, culture, and other things. The longer he talked the more he sounded relived. He wanted to say these things, invite me into this world he has, but was too scared to. What anger I felt before seemed to be mostly gone by then. He suffered too, why should I be angry? I felt my stomach growl, Fredrick laughed, “Well, we should see if there something we could eat in the kitchen.”
When I got up, I notice something, “Aren’t you going to change back?”
“What do you mean?”
“You still look like a wolf to me.” did he not notice it?
“ Wait, you mean I told you everything and you understood me?” Why did he seem shocked?
“Yeah, I understood you clearly.”
He looked like he was thinking about something then shouted, “The rune!”
“What?”
“The rune on us, it is translating everything I say to you.”
“What rune?”
There was a knock, Shan popped in, “am I interrupting something?”
“Shan, we need to talk over dinner, tell that to Steven and Poram as well.”
At the dinner table I was told what Fred meant. All three placed a rune on me that connected me to Fredrick. The feelings I had earlier been because of the heat, which was caused indirectly by the rune they placed on me. Both Steven and Shan regretted what happen to me, Poram was the only one who did not apologize.
“Just apologize” Fredrick said
“No” Poram respond
“You don’t need to do this.” I keep telling Fredrick.
“See, Val didn’t mind.” It wasn’t that I didn’t mind, I was trying to still understand it. “Anyway, Val, are you and Fredrick mates now?” Before I could probe what he meant, Fred dragged him from the table and threw him outside. I didn’t see Poram for the rest of the night.
“Anyway it is getting late you sould stay here for the night Val.” Fredrick said, I accepted since I didn’t want to leave yet.
Before bed I went to Fredrick’s room, “hey Fredrick, can I sleep with you?”
“What brought this all of a sudden?”
“What did Poram mean by ‘mate’?”
“It’s nothing to worry about.” Did he seem flustered?
“Then you would have no trouble speaking about it.”
“Why do you want to know so badly?”
“If he placed this rune on me to be your mate, then I should know what it is.”
“Alright,” Fred gave up, “a mate is like a lover. He was asking if we were a couple.” I felt a little embarrassed about it. Did he want me to be his mate?
“So, am I your mate?”
“What? N-n-no, not really,” I felt sad, “no, I mean I never asked you to be one.” You have to ask to be one? “Look a mate is not like a boyfriend or girlfriend thing. It is almost the equivalent to marriage. If you are my mate, I would love you and hold you till we both die.”
I was lost on how to respond, sure I had a crush on him, but to go straight to marriage seems so fast.
“Part of me already sees you as a mate.” Huh? “If you don’t want to be my mate, it may take awhile, but I could undo it. So if you don’t want to just say it.”
I was dumbstruck, part of me heard him to marry him but another part heard to throw away what he already did. I was so confused. “Sorry can I ask for some time to think about it?”
“Sure, it is a lot to take in at once.” It was a good thing he understood. “It may take a few months to undo it.”
“Would graduation work?” he looked at me. “Graduation is in two months. Do you mind if I give you my answer then?
“Sure that works perfectly. So is that all you wanted to talk about or are you going to get in here with me?” he patted the mattress under the covers. I already planned to sleep with him before he left tomorrow morning, so I climbed in bed with him.
I fell asleep in his arms for the second time today, but do I want it for every night?