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Bonus Chapter 2

Christmas 2014

I ran after Zeke as fast as my paws could carry me. I was moving so fast that I almost thought the ground beneath me would catch fire. My blood sang in my veins, thrilled to finally be on the hunt. I wanted to bite Zeke. I wanted to taste his blood. I didn't care anymore if this was D.K.'s grudge or mine, the wolf in me had taken over, and it wanted fresh meat!

WHUMP!

I stopped dead in my tracks. Or, rather, I was stopped. I couldn't move or see anything. Just white, and cold, all around me.

I heard a crunch from above me, and suddenly a hand grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and pulled me upwards into the open air again. I blinked in surprise when I saw who was holding me.

"Merry Christmas!" Mr. Wrogan shouted into my face before dropping me back down onto the snow.

Snow? Where the heck had that come from? And, for that matter, why were all the trees suddenly pine trees? And where had all the ornaments and lights come from? And how... On second thought, I decided not to think too hard about it. Since when had Majestic business ever made sense?

Mr. Wrogan had traded his animal fur coat for a heavy red one, and his beard and hair were now as white as the snow that had come out of nowhere. He gave a hearty "Ho ho ho!" and turned and made his way to a nearby tree, where a bunch of presents had been piled up. More shockingly, Zeke was there too, tied up with a big red ribbon. He struggled against his bonds, giving everyone icy glares, but seemed to be firmly trapped.

"Hold on a second," Mr. Wrogan said, turning back to me, "you can't open presents like that!"

With the sound of jingle bells, he waved his hand and a thick cloud of smoke rose up around me. When it cleared, I was human again... and dressed in the ugliest sweater I'd ever seen. It had a T-Rex holding a present, saying, "Rawr is dinosaur for Merry Christmas!".

"What do you think?" Edgar asked, startling me as he came up from behind me. "Impressive, huh?"

"Where did all this stuff come from?" I asked, looking around. Snow was still falling from the sky, and Christmas carols were being played in the background.

"It's a Majestic tradition," he explained, walking past me to get to the tree. "We take over the world on Christmas every year!"

I shook my head. "That is the most messed up thing I've ever heard."

"Ho ho ho!" Mr. Wrogan laughed again. "It's almost time! Where are my elf and reindeer? Santa can't have Christmas without his elves and reindeer!"

"I'm not coming out there dressed like this!" a grumpy voice shouted from behind a tree.

"You both agreed to it!" Wrogan said, pointing an accusing finger in their direction. "Where's your Christmas spirit?"

"Probably back where I left my dignity," Mr. Vaazkima grumbled, stepping out from behind the tree. When I saw him, I almost couldn't hold in my laughter. His business suit had been traded for a set of green tights. A long hat with a bell on the end was on his head, and two rubber points were on his ears. If that was embarrassing, though, it had nothing on what Miss Shavver was wearing.

"I'll have your skin for this, Wrogan," she hissed, coming to stand beside Mr. Vaazkima. She was wearing a sagging brown reindeer suit, and a pair of antlers on her head. A glowing red lightbulb had been shoved into her bony face where her nose should have been.

"You two are perfect!" Mr. Wrogan said, clapping his hands in delight. "Come on, let's get started!"

"All right!" Ed exclaimed, grabbing my hand and pulling me forward to sit in the snow in front of the tree. "Do I get to sit in Santa's lap this year?"

"Sorry," Mr. Wrogan shook his head, "that's only for children."

Ed's face turned red. "I am a kid!"

"Yes, but you've been a kid for..."

"I wonder which ones are for me?" I heard a new voice whisper from beside me, drowning out the argument. I turned to look, and gasped when I saw my loveboat dreamboy prince charming sitting next to me. "I hope it's that one!" He pointed at Zeke, who was still struggling in his festive binding.

"I knew you'd come back to me!" I exclaimed, leaning over to hug him. "I haven't seen you since Thanksgiving!"

He scooted away from me, and I ended up doing a faceplant in the snow. It was okay. If he didn't want to hug me, I trusted his judgment. We'd have plenty of time to hug after the wedding...

"Don't mind me," he said, giving me his woman-melting wink, "I'm just breaking the fourth wall."

"Time for presents!" Mr. Wrogan announced, clamping his hand over Ed's mouth to shut him up. "Kimberly, you may go first."

"Um, okay," I said, standing up. I went to the pile of gifts and rifled through them until I found one with my name on it. Sitting back down, I tore the green and red paper off and squealed in delight.

"Bacon!" I screamed, unable to take my eyes off the plate of steaming, sizzling pork. "How did you know?"

"I'm Santa!" Mr. Wrogan said smugly. "I know what everyone wants for Christmas!"

"Besides," Edgar added, reaching over to take a piece, "who doesn't like bacon?"

"It's my bacon!" I said, holding the plate away from him and whacking him on the back of the head. "Get your own!"

"Edgar, it's your turn."

Ed immediately stood up and ran to the presents. He picked up each one, scanning the nametags, until he found one for himself and came and sat back down, giggling like an idiot.

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy," he said, pulling off the wrapping paper, "Oh... boy." The excitement vanished from his voice when he pulled out a pair of underpants.

"That's a magical pair of underwear," Mr. Wrogan said, seeing the look on his face. "Here, let me see them. When you shake them like this, they become a pair of socks! Shake them again, and they're underwear. It's exactly what every young man wants!"

"So I just got underwear and socks for Christmas in the same present?" Edgar asked incredulously, taking the gift back.

"Nice tightey whiteys," I chuckled, nibbling on my last piece of bacon.

"Shut up," Edgar grumbled, shoving them down into the snow so nobody could see.

"Now it's you two's turn!" Mr. Wrogan said, handing both Mr. Vaazkima and Miss Shavver a present. Neither of them thanked him, they both tore into the gifts like wolves attacking a fallen G-Nome.

"Wha- coal?" Vaazkima exclaimed, producing a fist sized piece of rock.

"Me too!" Miss Shavver whined, holding up an identical piece. "What's the meaning of this, Wrogan?"

"I'm not Mr. Wrogan today," the huge man insisted, folding his arms. "I'm Santa. And Santa only gives presents to good little boys and girls!"

"We've been plenty good!" Mr. Vaazkima protested.

Mr. Wrogan raised his eyebrows. "You mean besides the time you lost a valuable and violent Silverblood, then tried to imprison a seventeen year old girl, and then proceeded to try to imprison a five year old girl in her place?"

"We've done worse," Mr. Vaazkima grumped.

Mr. Wrogan gave him a stern look. "Then would you prefer I tell your mother about the time you..."

"No, no, please!" Mr. Vaazkima exclaimed, jumping to his feet, his golden hair clinking. "I'll take the coal. Please just don't tell her about that!"

"Very good!" Mr. Wrogan nodded with a smile. "Ho ho ho!"

I heard Miss Shavver grumble something about commercialism, and then she yanked the lightbulb out of her skull and threw it into the snow.

"My turn!" my future husband announced, standing up. "I've got a present for all of you!"

"For all of us?" I asked, my heart fluttering like a skydiving sumo wrestler. "Are they invitations to our wedding?"

"Sorry, no," he chuckled and made his way to the biggest box at the back of the pile. "This is much, much cooler."

The present was as tall as he was, and twice as wide. With some effort, he managed to push it so it was right in front of everyone. I would have helped him, but I knew such a manly macho man didn't need my help.

"This is something I spent a long time putting together," he said, waving his hands mystically in front of us. "The contents of this box are going to change everything!"

With a flourish, he grabbed the ribbon and pulled it free. The box fell open, revealing...

"What the heck is that?" I couldn't help but blurt out.

Two things stood where the box had just been. One of them was an average looking teenage boy. He had black hair and was wearing a blue shirt. Beside him stood a... thing. It looked like a lion, but two big white wings were coming out of its back. And its head was a human head. It was a young woman, not much younger than I was, with long red hair.

"I was about to ask the same question," the boy said, looking at Mr. Vaazkima and Miss Shavver.

"Porter, that's not polite," the lion-girl-bird-thing hissed.

The boy pointed. "But that one's dead, and that one looks like Gene Simmons."

"I know," the thing said. "Just... just try to act natural!"

"Everyone," my hunk of chunk said, bringing everyone's attention back to him, "meet Porter Collins and Sarah Heisen. They're going to be joining our little literary family before too much longer."

"Literary family?" Edgar asked. "The heck is that supposed to mean?"

The blonde dreamboat ignored him. "Like I said, these two are going to change everything. You can call them..."

He paused dramatically.

"The Slayer and the Sphinx!"

Author's Note: Merry Christmas, everybody! And thanks for sticking with me this long. And yes, I just dropped a big, obvious hint about coming events in this chapter. I'll leave it to you for now to figure out. And no, this chapter did not actually happen. Tune in on Saturday for the REAL Amber Silverblood update!