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Chapter 2 -- Give me time

--Naki--

I was actually a little surprised at how well Khole had gotten along with my parents after the first six days of being back. He made me feel bad sometimes; helping out around the house, offering to sweep and clean, shovelling after a small snow storm hit before the weekend began. That morning he'd woken up and helped with breakfast so that Mom could focus on getting Reggie and Nathan awake and dressed for church. One good thing about him being a Requoran was that he didn't really notice the smaller portion sizes-- something I was happy about. I myself woke up a little late and couldn't help but be distracted in my own head. Today I'd be meeting up with Fen for the first time since break began-- right after church. After seeing him every day for the last three months, it had begun feeling pretty weird waking up and realizing he's more than twenty steps away. Sure, I talked to him at night before bed but, due to the lack of privacy at my parents' house, our conversations were severely limited.

After I was dressed and readied, I helped Khole pick out some of my old clothing Mom was holding on to for when Nathan got a bit larger. Khole fit pretty well into stuff I wore in 10th grade.

"You're okay coming with us? I bet I could get Mom to let -you- out of it at least."

"I'm okay with it. I've never been to a church before."

"Never? I guess your adopted parents aren't religious?"

"Nope; I've heard of Pheyinism, but I've never gone to a service. Your brothers don't seem too happy to be going."

"Well, no. It's... different when you're younger. I admit it can be boring even now. As a kid, though, it's unbearable." I helped him tie his tie before another question came up. "Do Requorans have religions?"

His head shifted up as my fingers worked at the tie but his eyes only met mine at the question. "We used to. I guess we still technically do. They were larger before the war. Afterwards, though... I guess people just lost faith."

I broke gaze with him to finish tying. "So some Requorans still practice?"

"I remember there being a few. Most of them set up shop as charitable groups that helped the less well-off portions of Kupai. Of course, it was all relative. No one was doing exceedingly well, but it was the difference between having nothing and having a place that would protect you from the cold and help you provide for yourself. Sometimes the nobles would come and recruit from them. Able-bodied Requorans from poorer areas became the driving force of their personal armies. Uh... but the short answer is yes. We had some religions. Primarily polytheistic-- from the days when we were able to live on the surface."

With a tug I finished and nodded down at him. "I wonder how many Requorans with cloakers are religious. I mean, Fen seemed to think it was funny when I brought it up before.."

"Funny?"

"Yea, he thought it was funny that I thought Requorans could believe in God, I guess. Then again, it could've easily been him generalizing his beliefs."

"I don't know any myself, but most of the Requorans with cloakers that I'm familiar with are part of RANF so it's hard to say for me."

"Yea. Same here. I guess I don't know how many Fen knows outside of Sy, RANF, and the handful that went to our high school."

"The reason a lot of Kupans stopped believing, as far as I could tell, was the war. Those who'd put so much effort into praying and fighting for the deliverance of Requorans maybe realized that it wouldn't come. If it's true that Requorans growing up with cloakers tend to be atheists, maybe that's got something to do with it."

It did, and still does make some sense at least. We walked downstairs after Mom called up to us to hurry up and soon we were piled into my Dad's van. It was a tight squeeze with all six of us but we did fit, thankfully. The church was busy just like most Sundays; people in their flashiest dress-wear shuffle into the doors, children clung to their parents or else suffered the dreaded slap to the back of the hand or head for acting up or wandering off too far.

Since Mom was on the usher board she ended up having to walk ahead of us to get in position and carry out her duties. With her gone it was just me, my brothers, my dad and Khole.

"Is it okay if I take a look around?" Khole asked. Dad just shrugged a little.

"Sure. Why don't you give him a little tour, Naki? We'll just be in the sanctuary. Don't take too long or sermon'll begin and you won't be able to sit 'til it's done."

I gave a nod. I didn't mind showing Khole around, plus I kinda wanted to get a better look at who was here.

"So this is the church you grew up in?" he asked as I led him through a hallway decorated with plaques, pictures, and inscriptions detailing the church's past and many of its contributing membership.

"Yea, ever since my parents settled here. It's a nice place; I like the atmosphere-- and the people."

"Why's that?" he asked as we made it to the end of the hallway. Here there was an intersection. To the right sat the sanctuary; another way to get in. This led to the front of the sanctuary, though, so no one except the choir, organist, or someone who needed to be on the pulpit would ever use it. The other door led to an office that connected to a quiet room, which in turn connected to a hallway leading to the back of the building. I turned around, deciding we didn't really need to go back there.

"I guess I never really thought too hard about it--"

"Welcome back, Naki," I heard a gruffish voice sound behind me. I shifted my head to see the pastor gazing at us from behind his spectacles; an elderly goat with cream-and-brown colored fur.

"Thanks, Reverend," I responded, holding a paw out to shake his. He clasps mine before looking to Khole.

"Oh! Uh. Khole. This is Reverend Lasscut and Reverend Lasscut this is Khole," I said, motioning to them in order.

"Nice to meet you," Khole said, holding his own paw out.

"And you as well. Is this your first time at our church?"

"Mmhm, I came with Naki's family."

"Wonderful," the reverend said with a pleasant smile. "I hope the service is to your liking." He let go of Khole's paw. "If you don't mind, please come to my office after service is over. I'd be happy to properly introduce myself and speak with you."

"Thank you," Khole stated, keeping his grin while I idly wondered if he does this with other new members.

The reverend left us to go prepare for the sermon and it wasn't long before we ended up back in the sanctuary ourselves. I found my father and siblings settled near the middle and scooted into place next to them.

The service was nice if not mostly what I expected. The subject for the sermon centered around Fiyases who is the most important prophet in Pheyinism. He used to be a bit of a tyrant; leading armies through kingdoms and claiming them, enslaving or abusing nearby populations, etc. In his goals to claim land he heard the word of God, who apparently told him he could be a great king and leader; revered and respected by those around him instead of feared. That there was honor in his quest to unify quarrelsome villages, but that he'd been going about it the wrong way.

It was a good metaphor for kind of what's going on now, though he never explicitly stated that that was what he was trying to allude to. I took notice of Mom going about her volunteer work a few times; escorting people in, passing out programs, distributing envelopes for offering. I hadn't noticed it as much when I was younger but this kind of stuff always did seem to make her happy.

"Mom's going to be a while. The ushers have to help the deacons count so once that's done we can head back," Dad said after service had ended. I could tell he wasn't entirely happy about the arrangement. Out of the two of them, Mom was the most interested in the church. Dad was religious but I got the feeling he went through the extra motions just to please Mom.

"It's fine. So how long has she been part of the usher board?" I asked.

"Eh, four or so weeks now," Dad muttered. "She likes it and that's what matters."

"We have to stay after church for half an hour, though," Nathan said.

"It's soooo boooooorrring."

I chuckled at Reggie. "Well, Reverend Lasscut wanted to meet with Khole--er. If you wanna go, that is." I looked to Khole and he gave a slight shrug.

"May as well. We've got some time, right?"

"Is it about the mission he's tryin' to run?" Dad smirked.

"Huh? What's that?" I asked.

"He's tryin' to reach out to'em-- the micros. Last few months there've been members running drives and spreading the word about it. Micros that aren't bein' forced out can stay here and get food and stuff like that."

"Right," I said.

"We only have a few members that're micros so he's been tryin' to get them to help. Bet that's why he wants to talk to ya."

I looked at Khole again. "Still interested?"

"More interested."

I remember feeling a little confused but didn't pay it much mind. "Well, guess we're going. We'll find you guys when we're done," I said before leaving the sanctuary. Reverend Lasscut was already in his office by the time we got there. It was a well-kept place; a large wooden desk with matching shelves and earth-tone carpeting. It was all polished so well that I wondered if someone just stands in his office all day rubbing it all down.

"Welcome," he said, looking up from something he'd been reading on his desk. "I was hoping you'd come. How was the service? Please, take a seat," he motions to the chairs in front of his desk.

"The message was interesting. So do you feel Neotrians are like Fiyases?" Khole asked.

"Hmm. I think there are parallels that could be drawn between what's happening now and what happened in the past, yes. I definitely think Neotrians have a duty to set a proper example here on our own land as well as for the rest of the world. Senseless violence is a sign of weakness and not of the strength I think we have collectively."

"What would that mean for Requorans?"

"Well, the answer to that is analogous to the work I've been trying to push here at the church. A lot of people are hurting; particularly Requorans. Supporting them and building bridges between communities is the first step towards working for a common cause. As Pheyinists, it's part of our duty to reach out to those with less and provide stable ground. I think Neotrians could take the position of an older sibling or parent helping to uplift and support their smaller counterparts. Unfortunately, it's difficult to reach out to a community that is so used to actively keeping itself hidden. We've been gathering money to support programs aimed at getting Class A Requorans specifically off of the streets." He leaned back in his chair. " I guess, in the end, what I'm saying is that when children wander the streets lost and adults resort to thievery to makes ends meet, the entire community hurts. The people here are already in enough strife without this-- so I see a lot of positive potential in trying to alleviate this issue."

"So exclusion has been de-stabilizing the neighborhood?" Khole asked.

"Yes, which is why we're doing this. Providing food and shelter, I think, will help keep people from becoming desperate."

"I don't see any problem with that," Khole stated. "I'm not homeless, though--"

"No, no, I wasn't trying to say that you are. After all, you're staying with Naki, right? I was more hoping to interest you in what we're doing. More Requoran members means that we may be able to more effectively win the trust of those who -do- require our services. Not only that but if the resources don't go to good use they'll be moved elsewhere. I think this is where they're best suited. Our church could always use a bit more diversity and it's important that Requorans learn about our religion and what it can do to help them in their plight."

"I don't know if I'll be able to contribute but I'll be around for the entirety of our break. If nothing else, I'll be around the next few Sundays. If there's something I can do just let me know," Khole states.

"I'm happy to hear that. So, if you don't mind my asking, did you grow up around here?"

"Nope. I grew up in Kupai."

The room went quiet for a moment. I imagine Lasscut was trying to recall why the name seemed familiar. I was about to cut in and say it but he begins speaking before I take the initiative. "One of the cities they're digging up?"

"The largest, in fact," Khole said. "I was fortunately gone before that happened, though."

"I'm happy you were able to escape safely-- and sorry for my wording. I realize it may be a sore topic for you."

"Don't worry; I've come to terms with it well enough."

"It's surprising to hear, though. A Requoran from a place like that ending up here. I would quite like to hear more about it if you don't mind sometime."

"I'd be happy to."

"Excellent. Next we meet, perhaps. If there's time." Lasscut shifted his head and then looked to me. "Naki. How've you been? I didn't mean to ignore you." He chuckled gently. "Is college going well?"

"Yea," I said in response. "Its been a lot of fun."

"Good to hear, we're happy to have you back for a short time. I hope it's relaxing."

"I plan to try to make it relaxing," I muttered with a grin before standing. "We should go find my dad, though. He was just waiting for Mom to finish with offering. Don't want to hold him up," I stated. In reality, I just wanted to get out of here so I could go visit Fen.

"Don't let me keep you. Good to see you again, Naki. And it was nice meeting you, Khole."

"You too; take care," Khole said as he shuffled out behind me. I just gave a wave as I walked out. We waited for Mom to finish, which didn't take too long.

Khole was alright with staying at my house while I left for Fen. Him and I agreed to meet alone so we could have some time together since we hadn't in a while. I told Khole to just call me if anything went wrong, but I highly doubted anything would go wrong. The trip across the city took about the same amount of time it always does; half an hour, and by the time I pulled up in front of Ian's house it was around four in the afternoon. I could hear the muffled sound of them playing some song in Ian's garage with the door down due to how cold it was outside.

I walked up to the door and knocked a few times before a white female mouse answered. She gave me a once over; the size of her aging eyes increased by the thickness of the glasses settled over her muzzle. "Naki?" She asked.

"Yea, I'm looking for Fen."

"They're in the garage. Come on in and just hook a left." She pointed towards the door that lead from their kitchen, where the front door was, to the garage. "Oh, and you can call me Mrs. Welsh."

"Nice to meet you," I said in return before I stepped in and twisted to walk towards the garage door. "And thanks!"

"No problem." I opened the door and the music suddenly became quite a bit louder. I could hear Fen singing.

"deep within this frame of miiine"

"grazed my heart but I'm just fine"

"think they'll win but give me time..."

"give me time..."

"give me time..."

"sk--"

His ears perked and he stopped when he noticed me standing at the doorway. A grin appeared over his muzzle. "Hey!" He jumped off of the makeshift stage to walk over, arms opened for a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed firmly. We'd not seen one another since break began.

"Hey, hun," I said, squeezing for a moment longer and letting my eyes follow his swaying tail. "Havin' fun?" I asked, letting go.

"Yea, we just came up with this one--er, sorry guys," he said, realizing they'd stopped because he'd stopped singing.

"Hey Sy, Ian, Samantha..." I waved.

"Hey, Naki,"

"Took ya long enough. You were supposed to be here forty minutes ago," Sy stated.

"Stuck at church, eh?" Ian asked.

"Yea, sorry. Had to wait for Mom to count the offerings. If you guys wanna finish what you were practicing I can wait..."

"Nah, I'm kinda hungry anyway. Gonna take a break. You hungry, Sam?" Ian asked as he pulled his guitar off and set it on a stand.

"No, and you should stop eating so much," she chided despite getting off the stage to follow him into the kitchen.

"You okay with staying here?" Fen asked as Sy walked past to follow suit.

"Yea yea, I'm fine. Go be lovey-dovey together. I can handle Ian and Sam."

"How are you holding up?" I asked.

Sy looked at me for a moment. "Well, it's different without our folks and all but... well, we deal with it. What else can we do?"

"Yea," I responded. "I won't keep him long."

We followed Sy into the kitchen. While they raided Ian's fridge me and Fen left in my car. Since it was winter we couldn't go to a park; too cold. Instead, we decided finding a quiet spot in a cafe and getting something warm to drink would be nice.

The downtown area was just as I remembered it. The cafe we ducked into was the same place I told him I didn't want to date him; the same place I came around to the conclusion that I did. We walked in and headed towards the back immediately. I noticed some students sitting around but the place was fairly empty otherwise. At the back of the cafe was a long bench that spanned the length of the wall; several tables were set up in front of it. Beneath the bench were plugs for things like laptops so people can sit and do work or surf the internet.

Various flavors of coffee sweetened the air as we made our way for the long bench in back. I also noticed Fen already pulling stuff from his pockets as is normal when he plans to take his cloaker off. The contrast of how comfortable he is with that when he's around me both then and now compared to before we entered college made me happier inside than I've ever admitted to him.

"That's better," he stated after getting it off. I picked him up and set him on the table in front of me, giddy as if we were doing something wrong or taboo despite the fact that it wasn't-- or shouldn't be at least.

The look on my face must've been a little off because he looked up and asked: "What?''

"Nothing," I stated. "Just didn't expect you to... y'know, walk in and shrink down so easily."

"You're here; I know I'm safe. Plus I like being my natural height--and I haven't really gotten to all week."

"Ahh, don't feel comfy doing it at Ian's?"

"Not really. I mean, I know I'm safe with Ian but... I dunno, I feel more comfortable around you. Maybe if it were just Ian or something I'd have an easier time. His whole family is there, though."

I gave a nod, then leaned down to press my nose to his face and grin. I felt his hands brush over the top of the pad before he leaned forward and rested his head atop it. "I missed you," he said.

"I missed you, too," I responded. I noticed someone moving towards us and sat up again to see a female antelope standing there.

"Anything you want?" She asked, holding out a notepad. I noticed a weird gaze pass between me and Fen before she just focused on the paper her pad was flipped to.

"Uh.. a ten ounce regular coffee sounds good to me," I said before looking down at Fen. "You wanna just share?"

"Yea, more than enough." He flicked his tail.

"Just that, then." She gave a nod and another awkward-- maybe even sour look to Fen before twisting to walk off. I didn't think he noticed so I just shrugged it off.

"I'm glad you feel comfy enough to do this."

"Well, of course. Plus since this campus banned Requorans may as well stick it to them however I can."

"Of course," I gave slight, playful roll of my eyes. "Troublemaking Paws."

"It's their fault, not mine. Besides, you look good from this angle."

"But not from others?"

"Well, particularly from this angle. That better?"

"Acutely."

"That was bad."

I chuckled and moved a finger to rub down his back. "It's still nice to be back even if things aren't the best. I mean-- at least we can still hang out here, right? The local college banned Requorans but maybe the shops are different."

"Maybe, I haven't really looked around."

I nodded, tugging my finger back as the waitress returned with my coffee. Time seemed to slow a bit when she brought the hot cup over the table-- just above where Fen was sitting or at least that's what it looked like to me because my hands dashed forward to block the cup just as he made a bit of a scramble to get out of the way.

"Hey," I half-shouted; adrenaline rush having already hit me. I glared at her for a moment and she just shrugged, holding the cup steady despite my hand having almost knocked against it.

"Sorry, didn't see him." Her tone says otherwise-- she didn't care. The cup is set down.

"Cream?"

"Apologize to him, not me. You could've hurt him."

"I-I..I'm fine," Fen muttered. I noticed he made an effort to walk shakily over near my free hand, though.

She just shrugged again and set my cup down. "Well, he shouldn't have been on the table."

"Y-you totally saw me before!" Fen said shakily. I kept my hands near him.

A grin spread her face and she merely turned to walk back to the counter. I glared at her the entire way but once she was out of sight my attention went back to Fen.

"Are you okay?" I asked, moving my left hand to rub his back again.

"Yea. Kinda want to give her a piece of my mind, though."

"I'm surprised you didn't," I said. I'd honestly expected him to start shouting at her.

He shook his head, sighing. I could see the tenseness in his body-- that scared him good. It scared me, too. "I was shaken up. Couldn't think of a single thing."

"It's okay." I picked him up and brought him to my chest to press him against the hoodie I was wearing. My palm covered his frame and I just embraced him there for a moment. I felt him relax after a while but couldn't stop peering over at the girl. What an asshole.

"Thanks," he said after I got him settled again. I put cream and sugar in my coffee and we shared it while talking a bit about the Lukten City College; the local campus built right into the downtown area here. I'd overlooked it because Phalance had a better business school-- though I do know a few people who decided to come here after graduating. It's a good choice for saving money; stay home for free and just pay for classes. Mom and Dad wanted me to take that option for a long while. I hadn't really heard if anything happened here over the course of last semester; must've been pretty dry though if Mom and Dad hadn't mentioned anything. Fen hadn't heard any stories, either. Well, except that they'd banned Requorans on this campus. We chatted about that and some of the news he'd heard about the internment camps Requorans were being sent to. Apparently one of the local ones wasn't too far from here. We didn't stick to that topic for too long; too depressing.

The caffeine made me have to hit the bathroom so Fen slipped his cloaker back on just in case that waitress came back. When I returned we decided to head off and get something to eat since I'd not eaten for several hours.

"Where do you wanna go?" I asked him as we walked towards the counter to pay for my coffee. I held my tongue and, thankfully, so did Fen. I made sure to get the number for the place and the waitress' name so I could decide whether I want to call later and complain. Soon enough we were back in my car.

"I dunno. Diamond Delicates is always good. Any place where the staff won't try to kill me," he muttered

"Too expensive-- and let's hope she's the last to try."

"I'm paying for you anyway."

I frowned a little, which he caught apparently.

"Don't complain. You don't have a job and you need to save your money. I have enough; I'll pay for it."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Fine," I relented. It's not that I wasn't thankful for it-- just that I hated being reminded that I'm on a pretty tight budget. With the school meal plan I didn't have to worry much-- the money was there. Not so much when I'm at home.

"How's it going at Ian's?" I asked.

"It's not home. Me and Sy appreciate it, though. They've been really nice and understanding; we'll get used to it soon enough. We get to practice our music every day now so we can make up for not doing it much during the semester, so I guess that's the bright side of things."

"What do you guys do as a band anyway? I mean, did you play different places before college began?"

"We used to play at little venues around the city, yea. I don't think we plan to do it over break-- I don't know if we ever will again. Maybe over the summer. It's just fun and it relieves some stress."

"I guess that makes sense. So what kinds of songs do you write? Ever written one about your size?"

His head turned but that's all I could see since I kept my eyes forward. I imagine he was staring at me for a moment. "Metaphorically, yea. I'm surprised we let Sy get away with naming us O.T.T.S. That was enough of a risk. Though I guess before cloakers became a public thing it wouldn't have set off any alarms. Some of the songs we've written touch a bit on discrimination and feeling left out. That kind of stuff. We try to do fun songs too, though. Don't want to always ruin the mood." he chuckled.

"I'd love to hear some of them."

"I have CDs somewhere. I'll lend them to you. So how's things for you? Is uh... Khole fitting in?"

"Yea," I said as I pulled up to the restaurant. "We have him set up in my room. Takes his cloaker off and everything," I stated almost proudly. I still wanted Fen to be there, of course. We walk in and get seated before I continue.

"Family seems to like him, and he's been pretty helpful. Heck, I think he shows me up a bit. It was a little awkward at first, especially since Reggie seemed keen to... hold him. But we got past it."

"That's your youngest brother, isn't it?"

"Yea"

"Heh. Yea, I could see that."

"What?"

"I dunno how I'd feel about being held by a kid. Who knows what would happen."

"He's not that bad-- er, I imagine. I guess I see what you're saying."

"I'm glad it's going well, though," he said. "I do miss seeing you every day."

"Yea, same with me." I responded. "Plus we haven't gotten much time to even talk over the phone."

"That's because you don't want your parents to find out."

"I know, I know; you think I should tell them."

"They have to find out eventually."

"And we were going to do it together, remember?"

He fell silent at that, giving his head a little nod. "I remember. So what did Khole do when you went to church?"

"He went with us."

"Really? Huh."

I resisted bringing up the topic I really wanted to talk about. I didn't want to make things awkward or put a bad mood over our first time together since last week, particularly not after he so willingly offered to pay for my food. Even so, it nagged at me in the back of my mind. The waitress took our food and drink orders and we remained silent for a moment. The sound of other people talking and eating filled the room. It was a pretty nice place, which is probably why it was so expensive. I stared out the window for a while, watching cars drive by and people walk past. The downtown area was almost always busy and this day was no exception. With Lukten City college nearby students could be found shuffling about at almost any time during the day.

"Anything fun planned for the break?" Fen asked.

"Well, Motley and I were planning to go to a party. Y'know, with old highschool friends. Especially the ones we don't see anymore."

"You miss highschool parties that much?" he chuckled.

"Motley and I used to go out as much as we could on the weekends when we were in high school. I kinda miss it, yea."

"You did? What made you stop in college?"

I shrugged a little, watching as a basket of bread was settled at our table by the waitress. "There was a lot going on. I wanted to, but just didn't get the time."

"It wasn't because of me, was it?" he asked.

If I'm being honest, it wasn't entirely because of him. The semester was busy; lots of things happened and I didn't know as many people at Phalance as I did in high school. Then again, a number of distractions that occurred did have something to do with Fen-- not that he could help it. "It's not like I'd blame you for what little of it might've been related to you. Not like you could help what happened," I reassured him.

"Well, don't let me stop you," he stated. "Just because I don't like partying doesn't mean you can't."

"I want you to come with me, though! You have to be more social.Can't spend all of your time worrying about stuff, writing for the school newspaper or talking about gaudy movies with Sy."

"They're not -all- gaudy." He huffed a little. "Only.. most of them. It's Sy's fault." He rubbed over his head and reached to grab a small piece of bread. "We've been trying to catch up on episodes of True Lives and This Little House."

"Gaudy," is all I said in response.

"Whatever," he muttered, taking a bite of his bread. "I'm glad to hear things are going okay with Khole, though."

"You should come over for Christmas," I mentioned just as he swallowed the piece of bread he'd just bitten off. I noticed him hesitate after.

"I dunno--"

"Where else do you have to go?" I asked.

"I... what do you guys do on Christmas?"

"Church and then dinner and then presents, usually. Some of our extended family comes over."

"I don't want to go to church."

"Come after it's done, then. I'll pick you up or something."

"Won't that look a little suspicious? Goin' out of your way on Christmas Day to pick me up?"

I frowned. "You just don't want to come."

"I didn't say that," he replied.

"So then you want to? It'd be perfect for you to meet my family again but not have to stay for too long. Sy can come too if he wants."

"He won't," Fen responded.

"Will you?" I returned, pressing more for an answer.

"Naki..."

"You don't have an excuse. I mean, you said you didn't stay because you were stressed out but this is only for a day."

The waitress set our dishes down in front of us and left. "Why do you want me to come over so badly anyway?" he asked gently, moving his fork to mess with the pasta he'd ordered.

The counter-question made me a little sour-- he was still avoiding giving an answer. "Why shouldn't I? You're my boyfriend. I wanna have you over with me and my family."

"It just feels weird to me, that's all," he muttered before taking a few bites of his pasta.

I started eating my own food, beginning to regret bringing it up. It did confirm what I'd feared before, though.

"You're still queasy about what happened after graduation," I stated suddenly.

He lowered his ears some. "I didn't say that."

"You don't have to."

"I -want- to come over, Naki. At the right time."

"When will that be?"

"Can we drop it for now? Please?" he asked, looking at me again. I sighed and gave my head a little nod before eating.

I twisted my head to stare out of the window again between bites. The sun was going down so there was a rather intense, orange light shining through and onto our table. It's lucky we were sat in such a way that it didn't shine right over us or it'd probably have become a problem.

"Think about it at least?" I asked after a while. He gave a little nod and I let it go again. 'Good enough', I guessed.

We finished our food, he paid, and soon we were back in my car so I could drive him back to Ian's place. The drive felt longer that time around, maybe because the mood had been sullied by my lack of ability to hold my feelings in. I knew if I brought it up it would become a problem-- I hoped that if it were just Christmas then he wouldn't mind so much. I think he's just being stubborn about it now-- big surprise there.

"I'm not saying it'll never happen," he said as I pulled up towards Ian's driveway after a fairly silent ride.

"But when? You can't... blame them forever. I--"

"I'm not blaming anyone," he stated as my car parked. He pulled his seatbelt off, expression a bit sullen and ears pressed backwards. I resisted the urge to feel bad-- 'I'm not wrong. He's being stubborn,' I told myself.

"I'm just... afraid."

It took a moment for me to register it but with every passing second I felt my frustration shift gears a little. What does he mean by 'afraid'?

"You don't have to be. Nothing's gonna happen. I wouldn't let it-- you know that."

"I know you wouldn't. I still feel the way I do, though. I can't just make it stop," he responded.

I sighed and we fell silent again for a moment.

"Then you should talk to me about it. That's what we're supposed to do, isn't it? Talk about it and figure out what we can do to... make it easier."

"You're right," he said gently. "I just always... I never wanna bring it up because I don't know what to do."

"Well, I can understand that. But we have to get over it eventually."

"Yea. Do you wanna come in for a while? I'm sure Ian wouldn't mind."

"...No, I'd better get home," I responded. Mood was already a little sour and I didn't want to mope around in someone else's house. He leaned over the divider between our seats and we kissed. I'm reminded of our first kiss for a moment; a welcomed memory in contrast to what'd just happened.

He looked at me after breaking it and then nodded his head. "I understand... love you."

"I love you too. Have a goodnight."

A smile crossed his muzzle and he climbed out of the car. "I'll call you later. Don't be mad, okay? I know it's really important to you... I do-- even if it doesn't seem like it."

"Yea," I said, waving him off. "Thanks for coming with me."

"We'll talk; I promise. Next chance we get." He waved before turning to walk towards the front door.

I sat in my car for a moment before cranking it up again to drive off. He was just afraid? Does that make sense? Maybe. I'm not a Requoran so I don't know how it felt for him. Is it really the eating thing he's afraid of? Or is there more to it than that? These thoughts weighed most heavily on my way back to my parents' house. I resolved to take him up on his offer and speak with him about it again as soon as I had the privacy. I just knew he'd enjoy Christmas with me if he just gave my family another chance.