FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

After reading this story, please rate it, so that others may find this series. Thank you.

Disclaimer: The following will contain homosexual individuals and relationships and may be an interesting commentary on life, death, immortality, God, gods and various religions. No offense is intended and if you cannot handle it, please discontinue reading rather than blaming me. This is copyrighted to me (mewjen(at)ymail.com), so no using it without my permission and no stealing it (any profits must be shared). This is a work of fiction. Any likenesses to persons, places, and so on, real or imagined, living or dead is purely coincidental.

---

Act II - Part 3

"I am tired of watching my best friend cry, Set."

I was getting desperate. Two months had passed since I found Anubis at my door. He spent a week locked up in my guestroom. Since then he has allowed me to try to distract him from his grief, but more often than not, he just wants to be alone. The most I could do was to watch over him and try to help him mend his heart.

Ra's plan was to find a suitor for him, someone Ra could accept moreover. To that end, Ra has sent a tirade of men to my estate. All of whom failed miserably. My plan was to get one of the men who loved him to get over their problems and go to him. To that end, I watched over Jaller, waiting for him to seek out Anubis and at the same time, courted Set, which is what brought me before the chaos-beast once more.

Set stared at me for a while, before he let out a deep sigh. "You will not tire on this." He set his glass down on the table before us. "Yet, you still give no proof that Ra has changed."

"I do not care if he has changed," I said. "I care that he is willing to allow his son to marry a man."

"A statement I will not believe until I hear it from his beak," Set replied tersely. When he was younger, he was always going on about standing up to Ra, and how no one should fear him. He truly believed that he could be himself, homosexual and all. Maybe, if he had not crossed paths with Ra's son.

"You are his last resort," I said calmly. "Anubis, however, needs you now."

He stood up and walked out onto the balcony. I hastened to follow. Set's chateau inherited much of its master's abilities, and though Set would deny it, it had a habit of mirroring its master's mind. As such, the view put us at an equal distance between my mansion and Ra's place, with Anubis on the left and Ra on the right, and us about 100 feet in the air, staring up into the city.

I found Set leaning against the railing, staring up at my home. It was larger than it normally appeared and was gaining in size the longer he stared. As I reached him, a single tear began to make its way down his cheek. I reached to wipe it away, but stopped just out of his field of vision. I was never very good at comforting him. My actions never seemed to be quite what I expected.

The tear soaked into his skin, as I pulled away. By the time he turned to me, I had recomposed myself back into my role as the friend trapped in the middle.

His gaze remained in his own world. "An doesn't need someone who betrayed him, Horus."

"You love him. He still loves you," I stated. "Otherwise, he would not hate you so much."I have stated the obvious for a long time. I am not certain that I ever expect it to work, but it is the only reason that should matter.

Set returned his focus to me. "As you just said, he hates me," the chaos-beast replied. "He doesn't need or want me."

"If you tell him the truth," I retorted, "he will forgive you."

"I don't deserve it," Set responded impassively.

I failed to hold back a frustrated growl. "Stop hating yourself. Do you want to be alone forever?"

He started to yell, but he could not maintain it. "I gave up the man I love because I am weak. I will not hurt him again." He ended in barely a whisper.

"What did Ra do to you?" I asked. It was not the first time I had asked that question. It was just the first time he answered it.

He turned away from me again, this time he stared down at Ra's palace. "Have you never wondered why my familiars disappeared, why they have no name? Have you ever thought about what would happen to you if all of yours were tortured out of existence? Ra's evil. Anything that hurts, he'll use...even his own son."

"What! Ra would never touch Anubis." I pulled my head up for a moment, before returning it to his shoulder. I am not sure how, but I found my arms wrapped around his waist, hugging him, trying to soothe the tremors I felt across his back.

Set's eyes were piercing, as he quoted, "Your relationship with my son is over. I want him back-whatever it takes or I will feed him to the Devourers and make sure you never forget the sight of his corpse."

"Ra could not have done that even if he desired it," I said with certainly.

"He's evil..." Set said in hushed tones, "and he doesn't like when people mess with his plans."

He turned in my arms. We were so close, our beaks almost grazing. We stared at each other for several long moments, neither knowing how to react, caught between.... I wanted to hold him, but I did not know why.

Set pulled away first. He began pacing in front of me, as he continued his thought. "I don't know what he's doing. Except, he will not let his youngest, most disobedient son go without a fight."

I followed his movements, but I made no effort to move away from him. "He used your emotions against you. I understand your resentment of Ra, but focus on the logic. Ra confronted Anubis. Anubis won, with Ra agreeing to wed Anubis to a male, not Jaller specifically. That means any male is available, so long as both parties consent. Jaller forfeited his chance. That leaves the remaining pool of unmarried, non-heterosexual males, which includes you. You love Anubis. Ergo you will consent, if Anubis wants you to marry him. So you need to tell him what Ra did, so he will forgive you, accept he still loves you, and want to marry you."

He stopped and stared at me, full of exasperation. "Horus, you don't get it. I did what I was told. I didn't just hurt him. I broke him. I made sure I could never be allowed to endanger him again. You think he should move on because it was so long ago. A god must be held accountable for his actions. I am alone because of my choice." He turned away when he could no longer stand my pity. "Let Jaller have An. He was never given a choice."

My response was quiet and uneven. I was losing him and could not figure out my next move. "Jaller has not gone after him. He might never."

"He will," he said calmly, trying to believe that just saying it would make it occur. "You just have to give him time. He lived a very different life than us, in a culture that despises gods. They perverted who and what we are, twisting our lives to fit their desires. Horus, you are my closest friend and yet, they say we caused their wars. That I raped you.

"These people, who would conquer the earth for sport, rule this plane. And in we come, refusing to obey their traditions, ignoring them as much as possible, leaving them in their stupidity. They enslaved themselves to us and now they beg for our scraps. They see us as the rich, lording over the poor. But we are the poor and they are the rich. And yet, they will never stop hating us, until they can control us. They don't want Jaller to escape any more than Ra does. An is the only one who can make Jaller free himself."

"Anubis is not with him anymore," I pointed out.

"Yes, he is," Set replied, with annoying conviction, "and you know that."

"No, I do not," I retorted, confused and aggravated by Set's refusal of simple fact.

"You still can't remember her," he said, flushing an amused smile over his shoulder.

He enjoys trying to distract me when I am running out of arguments. This attempt is his longest running. At first it worked. After a while, I learned to ignore it. After a millennia or two, I ended up pissed at him every time he brought it up and yelled at him for an hour, which accomplished his goal. After that, we have cycled between centuries of ignoring and taking the bait. It's a reference to the times he would yell at me for meddling in his and Anubis's relationship, while not having a significant other for myself. 'Her' has to do with the fact that I remember being in love, but I have repressed every memory of her. I do not even recall his face. Since then, I have not been able to seek out another mate, being tied to the one I cannot remember.

I forced us back on track. "There are two logical solutions: you or him. I trust you."

"I don't," he said, after a while of just leaning over the stone railing.

"If Jaller never goes after him, what then?" I asked. "When Ra comes to you, are you going to refuse?"

I watched his back, reading him, as he answered too quickly, refusing to even consider the eventuality. "I don't know, Horus."

I lost my temper and stormed back inside, yelling back to Set, who remained at the railing, "While you and he wait, Anubis suffers. Just-Hmm." I stopped at the door and released my anger to the small sigh of relief. "Finally, at least one of you is acting."

TWO hundred miles away, the part of my soul that watched over Jaller saw him leave his home for the first time since Anubis came to me. I saw his fellow citizens push him aside as if he was nothing. I saw others going out of their way to verbally abuse him and others almost desperate to avoid him. I saw nothing positive directed towards him. It took all my will not to interfere. Then I saw the impossible, him darting down an alley that never existed. It was then I realized just how cruel Ra could be.

I fought with myself on whether or not I should approach him, but he took care of that. Cowering on the ground in the middle of his alley, his words were what I had been waiting for, "An, how am I supposed to find you, if I don't even know where Horus is?"

I touched down as quietly as I could. Now I will admit that, though it was not my intention, I did enjoy watching him jump when I spoke. "You just had to ask the question for help to be given."

His reaction was not what I expected at all. He did not look at me, he just begged me not to hurt him. It took all my nerve not to just fetch Anubis to deal with him, handling people this upset was not my forte. But that, of course, would defeat my goals. Jaller hurt my friend. Therefore, he would have to earn my help.

"Why would I hurt you?" I asked, making no effort to hide my confusion. "You may have made my best friend cry, but I am not here to seek vengeance on you."

"Then why are you here?" he retorted, lashing out like a caged animal, before quickly returning to his state of fear. "Why would you go looking for me? I am sorry. Okay? Please, just let me go."

I truly did not know what to do. I expected him to be different. I mean, here was the man who sent Anubis away, who, as Anubis said, hated him. Yet, he was more terrified than anything else. I thought he would be angry, blaming my caste for his problems (and stupidly pushing away the man who loved him). Instead, I found a scared child.

Despite my stature, I have been told many times that I lack certain social skills, but I have always believed that calculated logic can solve any problem, emotional or not. Therefore, when someone feels enclosed, give the person an exit and continue on. "You can leave whenever you want, but I thought you wanted to find Anubis."

"I don't deserve him." He remained trapped in his fetal ball, unwilling to even look at me. There was also something wrong about the way he said it.

"I know what I heard." I changed my posture to try to sooth him. "Why leave the safety of your home, if not to find a better one?"

"I was wrong to think I was brave enough," he said, still sounding off.

I released my frustrations in a long sigh. "Jaller, I am not the one you want to have this conversation with. Can you just hold it in for a bit longer?"

I think he processed that incorrectly, because his reaction was a cross between feigned indifference and a brush off.

"Why does it matter to you? Just go on with whatever you were doing."

Now that was one of the worst things he could have said to me. After two months of waiting, I felt grimy and disgusting. I just wanted to merge myself and take a long hot bath (magick is no substitute). And this ungrateful-I took several deep breaths, before I could continue. "I was waiting for you, and will you please stop with the inverse-condescension?"

He jumped and looked genuinely shocked for a moment, but he caught himself quickly enough and was back to being an overly submissive whelp. "I am sorry if my behavior has affected you. But why are you here?"

"Because you are making him cry!" My anger over took me for a moment, but it was enough to break through his farce. "Sorry," I muttered, rather embarrassed.

"Don't be." He was silent for a long time. He drew out his legs from his body. While it should have made him look more relaxed, in reality, he just looked defeated. "I don't know what to do. I love him. But I can't stop hearing the voice that hates him...that hates you and tells me what I am."

"It's more complicated than that." I sterilized the wall of the alley before leaning against it, facing him, trying to find the right distance and position to keep him calm and focused.

"How?" He stared at me in disbelieve.

"When did you die?" I asked. A simple question, he did not expect.

"What?" He cocked his head to the side, as he questioned me. "Why does it matter?"

"I never thought to ask Anubis," I said in all honesty. "We have talked about it several times over the eons, but I never even considered it, let alone if it was possible."

"Never considered what?" He asked with rightful confusion.

I chose not to answer yet.

"Do you know how the gods were made?" I enquired instead.

He looked completely lost, but thankfully answered nonetheless. "Ra decided."

"Close, but not quite," I replied, enjoying the chance to teach again. "Ra chose to recreate the gods. However, it was all about who survived. Something out of Ra's absolute control. Some he saved directly. Some, like myself, were fortunate. Anubis, however, is a special case. As a watcher, he was made to survive. The Devourers could not go near him. He was protected. And so would have been the man wrapped in his arms."

His face told me everything, confusion becoming understanding. Pieces to puzzles he had never seen were merging put together in front of him. I wonder if he ever considered the importance of Anubis in his life.

"Unfortunately for you, you are not immune to their toxic biology. You breathed it in while you slept, safe only from their physical presence. So my question is, how long did you live through that night? Did you see the sun rise?"

He was silent as he took in my words, save for a soft muttering, as he searched, reliving those memories in front of me. "Yes. I remember the sun touching my face as he carried me." He looked like he was about to cry. "What does that mean?"

"It means you never belonged here." I realize that I spoke more to myself than to him. So, to prevent any lack of clarity, I continued directly to him. "Jaller, you are a demigod."

---

Thank you for reading this chapter. While you are here, please rate, favorite, and comment. Your feedback is the only way I know if the various parts and concepts are working or confusing.

Scheduling Note: There will be no chapter next week. Next chapter will be up on 4/22.