FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Chapter 3: Promise me

Trevor was looking in anticipation and looked like he wasn't worried one bit, I chuckled and gave him a wink as I grabbed my pen. "Just remember what I told you and good luck." He just kept staring ahead not even budging his view, "You too and thanks." As the whole class fell silent of sounds spare for clicks and clacks from tools.

Thursday the results came in. Mr. Hansen voice was quite hoarse today probably because he went smoking again, "Clement" he wheezed. Trevor got up and they had a chat that I couldn't hear and came back with a rather cheerful aspect and didn't want to show me until I got mines, I took that as a good sign that he's passing.

I went to get mines to see I got 78 and returned excitedly to show what I got, "Alright Trevor, let's see if all the work you did payed off."

Trevor turned away from his paper and looked towards mines, he was shocked but gave a warm smile and turned his own around, "Maybe might get higher and surpass you." he chimed.

78.. He got the same as me, I elbowed him playfully and he looked on back to me. "Good Job."

With class already finished and pretty much nothing to do anyways, I grabbed my bag and started hitting the road on to home, as I was walking out the main hall, there were some colored furs giving out fliers to students as they were pretty intent on giving them out also I happily took one and left without even giving a glance at it.

When I reached home, I went straight to my room to power on my computer and as it was loading, might as well see what this fliers about. Seeing as it was all colorful, Carnival was in town for a week now. Hmm maybe me and Trevor could go, he might like that, it might also be his first time going there. Maybe even first kiss, date, sharing ice cream, coming home, maybe even snug... AGHH, got to ask first duh!

"Hey Trev, carnival's in town, you wanna go?" I asked on email with my tail wagging, my lord was I too happy for this. I actually waited and counted how long it would take. (I have a sad, sad life)

"Ok, when?"

I may have died and came back and quickly typed, "Sweet at 2, my house, tomorrow on Saturday then we go, you know where it is right?" he just replied with "Yea, cool and see you there."

"Yess!!" I went over to my bed and start having all these thoughts to myself but the most important question to me was, is it a date? My mind clouded with all of my fantasies and not before long I had drifted away.

***

"Why, why are you doing this?" His arms were crossed over his chest and he just shot me an icy glare. "You think I like this? I can't do this shit anymore, really just get over it." _I just dropped down and kept my eyes on the floor, my heart sank, after all we've been through only for those words to hit me. His tail just lashing about as he took his leave, "I'm not going to take chances with her, especially not with you." _

With those words ringing in my head, my vision blurred as darkness enveloped me. I stretched out my hand from the darkness. I opened my eyes, awoken from this never ending dream and to see my right hand still in the air. Feeling the slight breeze from outside I brought my hand down to feel my cheeks. Wet, "Why can't I let it go?" I dug my claws around my sheet as I couldn't shake it off. "Calm down, today's the big day." I said to myself as I got up to make breakfast.

I got over to the kitchen and opened the fridge to pull out some eggs. Eggs seems like all I can cook for breakfast anyways.

As I was done eating the house phone went off, I scanned over to see who was calling and as a reaction I quickly picked up the phone,

"Morning kid!, How are you?" A soft gentle voice said.

Hearing auntie Bee's voice just lit up a smile on my face and gave me nothing to worry about.

"Morning auntie, I'm fine. You?"

"Alright, I got plans to work out later on and I'll send some allowance for you tomorrow. So how's school and life treating you? Hope your making lots of new friends."

"Oh it's fine, getting by as usual, I met two new guys they seem alright..." I said as I was twirling the cord.

I heard some distant voices on the other end telling her that it's ready. "Ah Raze, sorry I gotta go now, always know that I love you. Bye bye! See you for thanks giving." Her words warm with kindness as I always knew.

"Thanks auntie Bee, love you too, bye."

She only calls once a week preferably on Saturdays to check up on me, her schedule is most of the time is quite busy and with that she barely comes home with the exceptions for holidays and vacation, most of the time she wants to rest. But I'm grateful just for even talking to her and having her.

Time was moving so slow, I kept on rumbling trough my wardrobe pitching clothes all over thinking this is a date, what to wear, what... Aha! I just took out a casual white design t-shirt and some black jeans. It's only the carnival after all not like everyone's going to be staring at two guys going on all the rides together... "Yea right." i muttered as I put them on.

*Knock knock*(Who's there?), he's here already, I glance at the clock showing that it was 2:04pm. He's punctual I'll give him that. I opened the door and there he was, dressed in a black polo with yellow stripes and baggy pants. Quite casual I might say. I gestured towards my entry "Come in, I'm nearly ready."

He was looking around and saw a picture of my aunt and me before I dyed my fur when I was younger at a party. Two black and white wolves sitting together for the photo. He looked towards me and then back at the picture again. "Is this you and your mom?"

I froze and just looked over to see what he was talking about, oh boy not a time like this to tear up and reminiscent of the past. I think I should just tell him it anyways but still suck it up and as I told him in an uneasy tone.

"That's my aunt who took me in when my parents died from an accident when I was young and she's not here most of the time as she's now a regional saleswoman, she's also covering the expenses of living here. But I'm grateful to even be here, all because she took me in and none of my relatives wanted to."

His ears lowered and his eyes stared at the floor, "Sorry didn't mean to be prying in your business."

Guilt overcame me when I was told that, everyone who I knew felt sorry and I couldn't tell if their words were real or not, "Thanks." was all I could've said. But still his eyes still fills me like a sunset at dawn, for some reason it soothes me, don't want to keep him waiting as I snapped back to reality, I went to make sure I had my money and everything was locked.

"Alright, ready." I said with a brighten mood. We got into his car and got there in about half an hour. The place filled with children and adults as laughter and screams were mixed, with the sweet scent of cotton candy lingering in the air. You could tell everyone was enjoying themselves.

As we went on various rides, they were all pretty good, the twister with some of the people feeling nauseous afterwords, made me pretty proud that I could have stood it but Trevor wasn't there as he wanted to go get something to eat. But that's when I saw this ride and pointed towards it.

"Hey, let's try out that one." With enthusiasm I lead on towards the crowd with laughter filling the air, and colorful lights illuminating the day.

That's when Trevor noticed and he placed his hand in front his mouth but I still could of seen him forming a grin. "You serious, Teacups? C'mon Raze we're not kids anymore."

"Oh come on!" I say, "I only went once with my aunt. I just want to experience it one more time, please?" as I gave him my best puppy eyes and we were already heading in the cup.

Trevor just looked away blushing and followed. "Fine...But I'm not doing this because you did that."

I stuck my tongue out as the ride began that maybe he just couldn't handle my secret weapon! With the cup swirling around, all I could've saw was blurry colors and Trevor in the middle of it. It was quite funny seeing as how his claws were on the cups edge that he can sort of freak out on such a silly ride.

"Raze how can you handle this?" Trevor said as he tried to regain his composure as the ride slowed down, his fur still standing.

"I don't know, maybe it's because that I focus on other things and you know.. Enjoy the ride?" I said grinning as I gave Trevor a hand that it was over.

As we got off I asked him about his parents, granted it was only fair. "Oh, my father works at Antec, an electricity company and my mother stays at home." He exclaimed as we were headed towards the line for the roller coaster. "Sounds nice, I heard from my aunt that my father was also into something with electricity." I replied.

"They would've gotten along I guess." Trevor said as his gaze returned towards the line but then his eyes went wide as if fear had stricken him and then he jerked my hand.

"Oh uh, let's try out the ferris wheel since there's no line." Trevor said quickly.

"What?" I exclaimed as I looked back, the line wasn't that full and only a couple of guys were there, a few antelopes and a fox. "Um, alright?" I want to know, for sure a lot of things but maybe this isn't the right time I guess. Trevor was looking pale, so I didn't want to ask it in public. We got in the ferris wheel cabin. His gaze refusing to meet mines as he was fidgeting on the seat, tail tucked in and he was tapping his foot fast. You could tell something was bothering him here.

"Hey, what's wrong? We could've went on the coaster."

"I didn't want to go there, I didn't want Jack-" He stuttered clearly and didn't want to finish.

"Jack? What, did he do something to you?"

He gave me this worried look at first, his eyes flicked back at the roller coaster and then back at me and looked like he didn't want to say but he yielded. "Those guys by the roller coaster line... They were some of the track team players from my old school. And Jackson was my friend...I didn't want them to see me, because..."

He looked at me once more and sighed, crap I didn't think this would upset him this much. With his demeanor clearly showing starting with his body tensing up. "Because I hated them... I hated the way they treated me especially Jackson.. I wasn't the best but I was far from the slowest. I don't care for reputation, but by their standards I was 'different' and he agreed with them." He curled his right hand into a fist and his brows wrinkled, "I didn't do nothing wrong but they just wouldn't stop with all their crap even when I considered them my friends, I started doing more than average laps but even though I was getting better at track there wasn't even a single compliment. I didn't let any of that get to me, until..." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he placed his hand on his forehead. The air was getting uneasy feel as I squirmed in my seat.

"They didn't like that I was going to surpass them and when I was practicing and one of them challenged me saying that it was to see if I should even be in this club, I just wanted to prove that I was worth being here and so we went and accepted... But I didn't care I just wanted show them....to fit in..It was going good, too good but when I had realized it, it was too late. My hurdles were rigged, they were taller and closer than each other."

I swear he was going to cry right here in the cabin so I quickly put my left arm on his shoulder startling him,

"Stop, it's alright you don't have to continue."

"But..I..I."

"That's what friends are for right? That's why I'm here." I gripped his other shoulder and looked Trevor right in the eye. "People.. who look down upon others are unhappy, since they were all unhappy they needed to make someone even more miserable than themselves.."

He was still watching me with his mouth opened as if he wanted to finish off but I quickly cut him off,

"With friends like those... who needs enemies? For all it's worth, you were better off without them....Monsters" I whispered, I didn't even know why I had even said that before Trevor head had lowered and had just keep looking at the ground.

Trevor was whimpering so he just nodded. Might make this the last ride, Trev sniffled and I assured him that it was okay. He looked my in the eyes as I stared right back at them, he was looked tired and then he just leaned on me. My heart beating by have him so close but now wasn't the time.

"Thanks" was all he said as he sniffled on me and then I felt the dampness on my chest, I wanted to be strong but damn, when he's crying like that... I rubbed my eyes only to see my fur's damp, this is like what you see in a cliche movie, I was sniffling as he was right next to me, to feel a sort of rejection like I had. I felt like such an asshole to bring that up for him and to feel sympathetic now. I kept on telling him that it was okay. That's when he leaned up and hugged me, we locked gazes at each other and our faces were getting closer. I glanced around to check our height to make sure nobody could see us and I turned only to feel his head resting on my shoulder.

Maybe he couldn't hold it in any longer and just wanted someone to talk to. I rest my arm around him and just looked out to see the sun going down between the two skyscrapers as the carnival was being vacated by furs, then I looked back at Trevor and gripped the bar and just gripped as hard as I could. I have to do this for Trev, I have to try and support him as much as I can to show that I care for him.

"Let's go home after this.." I said as it was coming to a standstill. Trevor just nodded as he didn't want to let go. We got out the ferris wheel cabin and I couldn't help blush that he had his arm around my shoulder, even though he is kinda heavy I managed, most people didn't pay much attention and thought he was drunk with his puffy eyes and he looked like a wreck.

We were halfway there and there were so much activities still going on, Trevor released his arm around me and pointed at a direction, "I'll go wash up in the bathroom." "Oh ok, I'll be by the benches." He was walking so slow but I didn't want to criticize him over it.

Trevor ***

I don't know what came over me, but finally telling it, this weight has finally been lifted from my chest. The stalls were filled with various furs mostly canines so I went straight to the sink and just let the water flow in my hands. Soothing to feel the cold rush and then splashing myself with it to refresh myself. When I saw my old friend Jackson and his friends in the roller coaster line, I didn't want to go through this again, not again. Raze seems like a good person however I can't get my hopes up. I don't want him to know why I was different to them but if I do... If I do get my hope up... only to be hurt again, I'll just be repeating the past.

Then I stood there looking in the mirror, same jaguar, golden eyes, but something was different, he wasn't depressed, he was happy, he's not alone after all he made new friends.

No... He's giving me hope, I didn't want Raze involved, I don't want him to hate me, but I don't want to get humiliated or lose him... That's why Raze told me, that some battles are not worth fighting for. For what's its worth, I can't let him feel what happened to me. After all...he's special to me.

Raze ***

He's taking quite a while in there, might as well go waste the rest of the tickets on drinks to refresh us, I jogged over to a vendor around a corner and was surprised that it was empty. "Two cokes please." I asked the skunk while fishing out the tickets.

As I was handed the drinks I heard an annoyed and familiar voice besides me approaching, "C'mon Jen, it's like this every time I take you out, can't we at least be normal?" I cringed when I heard the word 'normal' but this voice... no it couldn't be, I turned to see a lion and a doe arguing right by the next tent.

I froze as I saw them, crap I don't want to meet him now! I don't even want to see him anymore. "Yea like when you were with Mindy that was normal for you too." she sneered. The lion, clearly annoyed by cracking his knuckles and folded his arms just seemed like he had enough of her and just shot out, "Well if you weren't too busy noticing other guys maybe it wouldn't have happened."

The doe steamed off, leaving the lion off by himself. He muttered something foul and just looked around if anybody was looking and he noticed me. Of course, he notices me. He walked over still angry but seemed to at least cool downed, "Hey Raze..Long time no see. Didn't expect to see you here." I backed off a little because I really didn't wanted anything to do with him,

"..." I couldn't say anything, my heart still pounding as I took a few steps only to have his hand place a steel grip on my hand, I couldn't even think, my legs turned numb and my arm could've only endure it. "C'mon it's been ages, what's the hurry?" John said as he got closer, I crinkled my nose when his breath came to me, alcohol, one of the things I couldn't stand but was something I could have tolerated about him.

And then he whispered in my ears, "It's not like you got a boyfriend fucking you anyways." I don't know what came over me, All this anger, sorrow and pain. I had to let it out. I can't let him do whatever he wants. I shook off his hand from me and pushed him off and my brows furrowed as I glared at him. "That's none of your fucking business after the way you treated me, you have the nerves to just assume everything's alright?!?" I really wanted to shout at him but with so many people around us I didn't want to make a scene.

By now my fangs were shown and John was just smiling and stared at me and gave me a I don't give a shit look as bystanders were watching us now. "And what are you going to do about it?" He sneered and then he just took off laughing.

Jesus! What an asshole! Irritated I quickly turned and kept on walking back to where I was suppose to meet Trevor. He was sitting by a bench waiting patiently, looking all over and worried. He finally saw me coming and got up as his ears started to rise but then he noticed that I was looking stressed out with my fur bristled, "Hey what happened?" he eyed me with concern.

"I..uh." better not tell him about John who I'm still angry with. As I handed him his drink, I looked at him back. "I was looking for a vendor and was looking all over and finally found one." I quickly fabricated.

Nevertheless he was just worried and didn't questioned me as we headed to his car. The ride was silent for the most part, the only thing that was making sound was the radio driving on the way to my house, it pained me that I just helped Trevor feel better only for me to be the one that's down and sulking. We arrived by my house where he just pulled up and I really didn't want to leave and then we stopped right by on my driveway. As I opened the car door I looked at him for a while, after seeing John it pained me to relive what had happened between us.

"Trevor? Can you come inside with me? I want to tell you something." Hesitantly he agreed and we entered my home, I plopped on my sofa and didn't even bother look at my TV and just stared at the ceiling. I thought back when I was with John as tears started welling up in my eyes. Why am I still beating myself over something that happened already? With the sun going down and the furniture reflecting it's dull orange color, we were both sitting on the sofa as Trevor was looking more and more worried as to what I was going to say.

Trevor was clutching on his pants as he stared at me. "Raze...Your actually the first person who I talked to about that, I mean.." He gulped, "I didn't even tell Diego who was still a friend to me about what had happened." I was taking aback only with guilt still on my mind.

I...I have to tell him how I feel, it's not right for Trev to tell me this and I don't want him to worry anymore. With my heart beating over and over, with each pound getting heavier and heavier, I gave out a small whimper and shut my eyes as I looked down. I turned my head towards him and opened my eyes, Trevor was still awaiting my response as he was close with his arm crossed on his legs giving of a caring look. My hands were shaking as I continued.

"Ever since I met you, I wanted to know you, laugh with you and in turn become your friend" My voice was starting to get a bit brittle but I couldn't hold it back "but now to tell you the truth I actually have feel..."

Trevor gripped my hand surprising me and then I looked towards him, he was staring at me intensely as I stared back. I was about to say something but then he pushed himself onto me and our lips met each other, I was shocked and was blushing as tears stream down my eyes only for him to be this close... That he shared this same feeling that I have. His mouth was so warm, with his lips pressing against mines. I gave out a low moan as his tongue delved into my mouth to caress mines. I felt as if the world disappeared, that nothing else mattered. This may have been one of the best moment of my life. Who knows how long we were locked but as soon as we parted we were panting as our eyes met.

"I love you too.."

As soon as I heard this I felt his golden eyes reached back again towards me as we kissed and embraced again. Maybe it was a couple of minutes but it sure felt as if we had all the time in the world but alas it ended as I rested right on his thigh as he stroked my fur on my head. With him purring I wanted this never to end and I turned my head to see him again. He was still looking at me and gave a warm smile as he brushed my cheek softly, and then he said in a soft voice. "Raze, is it ok if I stay with you for the night?"

I started blushing and told him of course he can stay. He just kept on stroking my fur as he smiled "Great, I'll just tell my parents then." He pulled out his phone and brought it to his ear when he dialed his mother number,

"Hey mom, I'll be staying by Raze tonight, is that ok with you?" I tuned my ears to try and hear Trina,

"Oh ok, just be home anytime by tomorrow."

"Thanks mom."

His mother continued in a rather jolly tone, "You know sweetie, I used to sleep over with friends too and we would stay up late, talk about secrets and have pillow figh-"

"Yea yea, ok bye mom." as Trevor closed his phone, kinda funny how his mother was laughing as he hustled to end the call.

He just flashed me smile and was now besides me on the coach, I was so happy I couldn't stop smiling that this was happening. As time was rounding up so fast and with me already yawning, Trevor swept me up. Surprisingly he carried me to my bedroom and just rested me there gently. With him by my side and snuggling me, there was still something that was troubling me. I turn around to face him, to look at him again, to make sure that he was there.

I started to give off this somber mood with my ears splayed back and my eyes looking away, "Are you sure your ok with this?" His eyes still on me and then he put one of his arm around me and then started spooning me, "Yes, I'm sure, you were there when I needed help, even though I hated how persistent you were but somehow I was always, always happy when you came."

I shifted to get comfortable with him as he held me, my tail couldn't stop slapping against his legs. "I have to admit, this is happening so fast but I'm glad your with me." As i feel my eyes drooping Trevor nuzzled me to get more comfortable. With my head in his chest and his head on mines I couldn't believe I'm with him. I'm sure I felt warmth, not from his body but from his breath, "Raze, promise me you won't leave me.."

I looked up and gave him a quick kiss and then returned back to how I was, remembering the similar question that I had asked John... The dream that kept on repeating itself. I squeezed Trevor arm, I won't let this happen again.

"I promise."