Vexen's Own Story! Part 3
The third chapter of my fantasy! Oh such great ill use of detail and hardly no story line, plus it never making any sense! Oh it's everything I could have asked for XD
Written By Vexen
As it sometimes happens when time is skipped in between chapters, now was one of those times. Me and Samuel L Jackson had been seated on a plane, him being a celebrity we got the best of seats, on either side of us were two very large women who's crotches kept cramping up every five minutes, behind us a screaming toddler, and in front of us American football fans who smelled of fine toxic waste.
"This..... is... soooo damn boring!" I groaned, turning around as I took the toddler from his mother, opening the window next to me and throwing out into the plane's engine as he giggled away, then exploded.
"Man I tell ya what." Samuel started, pulling out a clear plastic baggy. (For this next part, I would like for you, the reader, to read this next line out loud in a slow, dramatic way.) "Wanna do some marijuana cigarettes and cocktails?" (You may stop now. And good job.) He said as he stuffed his mouth full, moaning out loudly as he stroked his throat, working his... 'snacks' down.
I stared in horror, wondering if the reader (That being you, and yes... you are sexy.) had thought I was going to make a joke about how he would freak out about snakes being on the plane, because we all know that's why you're really reading this after all.
Apon reaching into the bottomless pit of my ass, the place where I keep all my treasures, I pull forth a king snake, wiggling it around in front of the man, who we all know is going to through a huge, huge fit about it. Because lets face it, what else is he known for.... Really? Besides yelling at people in his movies.
"Oh hell yeah, that's mah JAM!" Samuel cheered, taking the snake as he ate it hole.
"Wait wait wait... you weren't supposed to do that!" I yelped, looking rather confused.
"Oh bitch please, just cus it's your story ain't mean I gotta play along too." He grumbled as he started to naw away at his arm.
"Kiyotoe!" I yelled, waiting for the feline writer.
"What?" He groaned, now replacing one the fat ladies that was sitting next to me.
"Samuel isn't following da rules!" I huffed, crossing my arms as I looked like a rather angry child.
"Oh for gods sake... You know what? That baby you tossed out the window has now destroyed one of the plane's engines, so enjoy the trip." He said as he turned into a puff of smoke, making me have a coughing fit.
"I said I'm tired of these mutha f%cking babies on this mutha f%cking plane!" Yelled the Jackson, although it really wasn't that funny to begin with. Sighing as the plane soared though the sky and toward the ground, I thought over the last two chapters. Then died. Yep, thought I was going to do some self reflection didn't ya? Well fuck that!
Groaning, I opened my eyes, seeing nothing but a bright light ahead of me. Taking a moment to work the blury-ness, I looked about, seeing nothing but a clear blue sky with My Little Ponies flying about and clouds. Lots of clouds. And a giant, golden gate that I SOMEHOW managed to miss..
Walking up to the gate I spotted a large sign that read 'God' and an arrow pointing down underneath. The man below it had a another little sign propped up stating 'lunch break'. The man himself was dressed only in a white robe, and he looked rather old with his long, white shaggy hair and beard.
"Um... excuse me, I'm a bit lost here." I said, trying to get the man's attention as politely as possible. The man glared up at me from the taco he was eating, giving me a rather hateful look. "Um.... Sir?"
"I... am fucking eating. JESUS!" He called out, the clouds to his side parting as a muscular man with a long, brown shaggy beard, long, brown shaggy hair, and a sleeveless shirt reading 'sercurity' on it. (And yes, it is misspelled, only few will get this joke)
"Yes Pa?" He asked the other man in the most cheerful way.
"Get this guy outta mah FACE!" The white bearded one grumbled, frowning hatefully at me past his taco as he pointed a finger.
"Thought you were gonna be cool man!" I yelled back at him as the brown bearded one dragged me away, stopping as we neared the base of a rather long, long stair case.
"Good bye my child, for this is your stop." He said as he threw me down them.
Next one, Vexen's Own Story! Will our hero die by the time he reaches the last step, or will someone from below save him? Find out what ever happen to Samuel L Jackson, and where ever Kiyotoe is hiding! Be sure to tune in folks!