FSE

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So this was my first attempt at both furry and gay-themed writing. I think the problem with this chapter is that, at the time I wrote this, I was too insecure with my writing that I focused too much on trying to make it sound mature and intelligent that I lost sight of other important aspects of story-telling. I think I improved on the second chapter however. A third chapter is certainly a possibility, but right now I'm not really feeling self-invested in Ryan and Zack's story, so I don't plan to finish it until I get my muse back. But that's not to say I won't be working on other stories in the meantime. Hope you enjoy.

*

It was a frigid autumn night, and all the houses of a quiet subdivision slept peacefully in the cold, all except one. From the poorly refurbished relic of a home, the sounds of laughter and drunken reveling penetrated the silence of the night. A party for the local college students, without a doubt. And it was from the back entrance of this house that a lone red panda, Ryan, snuck away from the merrymaking into the bleak night. He walked with a brisk gait, eager to make as much distance from the laughing home as possible, his dark path illuminated by the dim-glowing street lights and subtle moonlight. After a few minutes of the night's cold embrace, Ryan began to shiver through his grey hoodie and fur, his hackles erect; the area had grown far colder than it had been a mere hour ago.

When Ryan decided that he had produced a sizable distance his fast pace diminished to an amble, and then to a total stop. His tiny white ears perked up; he heard nothing but the low hum of distant cars and a faint susurrus of leaves rustling and insects chirping. He swallowed a lungful of the chilly late-autumn air, and released it in a deep, labored sigh. Finally alone. Finally, he felt like himself again.

Acclimated with the new environment, Ryan's blank expression became one of irritation as he began to seethe with feelings of frustration; this wasn't the first time he found himself uncomfortable in a social setting and leaving prematurely. "Damn pointless party. Why did Zack have to invite me?" he thought to himself with a frown, making his sullen way with his paws in his hoodie pocket. If it were anybody else, anybody else, he would have been able to shrug off the invitation without a second thought. But something about Zack was different. Something about his perpetually cheery attitude and that sexy fanged smile of his made him impossible to turn down.

Sexy fanged smile?

Ryan shook his head in part disapproval and embarrassment; he shouldn't have been thinking about his roommate in that way. Still, despite the invitation's enticing form as an _attractive_blond-haired bat, of course actually attending the party was a miserable experience. Ryan wasn't familiar with any other attendees (excluding Zack), he didn't particularly care for drinking and cared less for banter with intoxicated strangers. The one thing that could have proved entertaining would have been some sort of group game or event, but much to Ryan's dismay, he found out that those sorts of things were reserved for children's parties, as it seemed the entertainment provided by alcohol and flirting was far more valuable. It figured as much. He had hoped that Zack's presence might make it a tolerable experience, that maybe because he was friends with the bat that he would be able to fit in. But in the end, Ryan mostly stood awkwardly by Zack's side while he watched him converse with a myriad of different furs he didn't know. As for the few conversations actually addressed to him, he would respond in the most perfunctory of ways possible, leaving them short and hollow. It was just as well that he did that; anyone who actually talked to him was just doing it to be polite, so it was best not to waste their time. What else could he have done?

It was then that a strong gust of wind pierced through Ryan's fur and clothes, causing him to shiver and his fur to sway. The hapless red panda put his hood up and increased his pace, now clenching his arms to his body tightly. Ryan hated sharp gusts of wind; they would come out of nowhere and leave him feeling vulnerable and naked. He resented that; he always wanted to be the one in control of how he felt.

As Ryan continued his way, he noticed that under the wind a small twister of leaves danced happily in the street, circling around each other tirelessly. There was unnaturally smooth nature the movement of the leaves. It was almost as if they were actually dancing with one another to the tempo of a song. Ryan stopped his walking and focused in on the leaves in fascination; he could almost make out little faces on the dancers, seemingly laughing with one another as they swayed to wind's rhythm. Ryan frowned as he continued on his way; it seemed that even dead flora enjoyed social interaction more than he did. Well... perhaps that wasn't entirely true; he did enjoy Zack's company after all.

Zack...

Thoughts of Ryan's roommate began to swarm his mind like wasps. Ryan had met the bat junior year of his uneventfully bleak high school life. He was a transfer student, an exotic black bat previously from a mysterious private school marked by his bleached blond hair and ear piercings. It was a rebellious look for a mysterious newcomer, and it suited him perfectly. While his appearance was certainly noteworthy, it was Zack's seemingly universal popularity that often brought him to Ryan's thoughts. He was popular with the jocks because he was athletic and great at sports, popular with the females on account of his good looks, and he was even popular with the nerdier batch of furs because he was intelligent and well versed with video games. Coupled with the fact that he was a genuinely kind and considerate person, there was no reason not to like him. Yes, everyone did love the bat, except Ryan; Ryan despised him with a passion. Ryan hated how he seemed to be perfect in every way imaginable and loved by all, like he was born with some cosmic blessing of good fortune, the bastard. Ryan just could not stand the bat, plain and simple.

That all changed when they became roommates.

When Ryan first discovered that, much to his dismay, Zack was to be his roommate, he was convinced that living with the bat would grate him to no end. But in the end, all it took was a few conversations with Zack for Ryan's insistent aversion to grow into a blooming friendship. His detestation of two years, unraveled and dissipated after a few friendly words from the bat.

And he was glad it did, as Ryan found that he loved spending time with the bat who was then, and still was his only friend he had made during college. And good friends they were, they would play video games together, eat their bland student meals together at the dining halls together, even go see a few movies together, and it would be just the two of them, in spite of how many friends Zack had. Their friendship truly had made Ryan's college experience quite enjoyable. It was funny, Ryan spent more time with Zack for the past 6 weeks than anyone, even more time than he did with Adam...

Ryan grimaced in disgust at his own thoughts.

He was not going to start thinking about his ex-boyfriend; the wound was too fresh. Simply thinking of the wolf made the red panda feel ill and staggered, as if a debilitating poison had spread through his body. Ryan found the best way to deal with the pain was to not address it, a tactic he'd utilized many times before. Of course he still felt like shit for the past week, mentally and physically, finding himself lazing around in bed and streaming soap operas on his laptop a lot more than he'd like to admit. He did still manage to force himself to go to his lecture and discussion section, but that was the extent of his productivity. He even had been less active with Zack lately, which was likely a folly on his part; he certainly didn't want Zack to catch on to his depression, how impossibly awkward it would be to explain his breakup, what him not being 'out' yet and all... Why was he even thinking about this? It was a beautiful night out; he should have been focusing on enjoying the walk, not his pathetic lonely excuse of a love-life.

As Ryan continued his way back to his dorm, the night's luminous white moon caught his eye. Ryan thought at first it to be a full moon, but on closer inspection, the shape wasn't completely circular, the left side being more of a gibbous hump. The red panda shrugged and gave a disappointed huff as he continued his way to his dorm on the dark sidewalk.

I wonder if the moon ever gets lonely, too.

*

Thanks for reading!