FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Somewhere in north-eastern Siberia, 9:00 PM Local Time.

Murray struggled to drive the van through the snowy wastes of the Russian wilderness. There were no offical roads that lead to where they were going. In the days leading up to this trek, the gang had looked up on Thiefnet where Finbar Flanagan had gotten the russian thugs he had hired. Turns out, they came from the shady group known as the Legionnaries. Working out of the Russian wilderness, these former red soldiers (as well as some other thugs) hired out to any warlord, mob boss, or some other criminal that needed some work done for them. Turns out, even some guys that Sly had stolen from had a few guards from the Legionnaries.

The head of this shady group was a man known as Deadeye. In the days of the tzars of Russia, his family had been rich wolf merchents. But, when the autocracy fell and communism took it's place, they fell into ruin, and as generations went by, they tried to regain some of the respect they commanded through warfare. They'd mowed down Germans in WW2, and battle after battle that russia did win, the family gained back part of what it had lost. By the time it was Deadeye's turn, he had some big boots to fill. Unfortunatly, the Soviet training was even tougher and alot more dangerous then some other armies, and during a training exercise, he had lost an eye, earning him his nickname. Not wanting to loose someone of the skills he showed, however, they transfered Deadeye to the KGB, where, despite his handicap, showed great skill in assassination and sabotage. However, despite beening a master spy, there was nothing he could do to keep the Soviet Union from breaking up and soon found himself out of a job. In this, he had the idea to start making money by providing soldiers to the highest bidder. Knowning this, Sly knew he had to stop him from giving bad people the means to carry out their master plans so easily.

"Are we almost there Murray?" asked Sly, sitting in the passenger seat.

"Almost, according to Bentley's map." said Murray, as he drove as hard as he could to stay on the road. Bentley, meanwhile, was sitting in the back, typing away on his computer. Sly questioned him on why he had been typing away in the back since St. Petersberg.

Bentley's responce was "It's just what Dimitri said, it's been bugging me, and not just in the way his bad grammer usually does. When not even a guy like him as seen these cops before, it really makes me wonder what is really going on. My best bet is breaking into Scotland Yard's files to look into Webb, but they've REALLY amped up the firewalls over the years."

The van came to a sudden halt, as Murray announced "We're here!" The fortress where the Legionnaries were based was sort of a random one. It was the result of thousands of years of fault lines and glaciers making a large tower of ice that Deadeye was able to drill into to carve out an bunker for his mercs to work out of. Putting on some scarves, gloves and earmuffs, the gang stepped outside of the van.

"OK guys, we don't have much time as we normally do." he began, explaining the plan one last time, "Deadeye has made it that no one can hide out for very long around here. So Sly, you climb up the wall and activate the elevator for me and Murray. Then Murray, while me and Sly distract Deadeye, you find your way to the bottom floor, that's where Deadeye keeps his loot. Try and see if you can find a way to break a hole in the wall so you can bring the loot to the van outside. After that, we make our break for it."

"Gotcha, Bentley." Sly told him as he began his ascent by launching himself up in the air on a wall hook.

...

Meanwhile, Carmelita and Webb were also climbing up the side of the ice tower. Although, while Sly was climbing up the other side with ease, the two cops were taking a bit longer with their ice picks and clamp-ons. By this point, Carmelita was very upset with Webb, muttering with anger as Webb fallowed right behind her. When they got to the top, Webb told her "OK, if I'm right Cooper should be here."

Carmelita whiped around, shot Webb her tradmark nasty look and explained to him "Listean you, I've been really patient with this idea of yours' but if you screw up one more time, I'll see to it that Interpol stops wasting it's time with you!" Her voice echoed off the walls of the entrence to Deadeye's hideout. They heard the sound of a door slamming shut and ran over to go investigate. There, they saw Sly and Bentley, with Murray having just gone inside to take some of Deadeye's loot. "Hold it right there, Cooper!"

"Ah, such immortal words. Hearing that is such a highlight to my day, Carmelita." Sly flirted.

Bentley tried to grab Sly's attention, but, as such things in life can be a tad tricky to just plain stop so quick, he went slightly unnoticed as Carmelita told Sly "How many times must we go through this, Cooper?"

"Not enough." answered Sly with a smile.

Bentley tried to grab Sly's attention agian "Uhhh, Sly?"

"Listean, you, your gang, and the half-blind thug inside here are going to jail." said Carmelita.

"We'll have to see about that. On your mark, get set-"

"SLY!!!" shouted Bentley. "It's about Webb! I just hacked into Scotland Yard's database and it turns out Webb has been dead since the 1980's! That wolf is an imposter!"

Sly and Carmelita looked at Webb in shock. He studdered nervously before saying in a russian accent "Knock them out." Soon, the two thieves and cop were knocked out by some goons.....

...

When the three came to, they found themselves tied up on chairs (except for Bentley, who was tied to his wheelchair with some sort of device that shut his wheelchair down) somewhere inside the fortress. The interior was lit with special lights powered by a generator in the basment. In front of them was Deadeye himself; a large wolf dressed in a heavy trench coat, fur hat, wool pants and combat boots. Where he had worn an eyepatch the last few weeks was a large, vertical scar going over his eye, which was white and pupil-less. His fur was as white as an arctic storm. He took a drag off a cigarette and "Ah, everything is going to plan."

"What is your plan, anyway?" asked Sly.

"Easy, get you three-wait, three? I thought there was a third member of your gang, Cooper." answered Deadeye.

Carmelita was about to answer that when Sly cut her off by saying "Ah, I don't know, I think he got lost somewhere." Carmelita raised an eyebrow at this.

"OK then," said Deadeye, "Anyway, now that I got the three of you tied up, I shall shoot you. Too simple, I know. You're wondering 'why did he go through all this just to tie us up and shoot us?' "

"Actually, I was wondering how come you, a wolf with white fur pulled off the green furred look to fool Interpol." Bentley told him.

Deadeye pulled out a bottle of liquid out of his pocket. He opened his coat to reveal some patches of green fur left. "Soviet fur dye. Only washes out with this liquid." As he dripped the liquid onto the dyed fur, the dye washed away like mud washes off with water, revealing the white fur that was there.

He continued, "My plan was this: first, I use the identity of a dead member of Scottland Yard. Because of the time span between Webb's career and today, I knew that there would be little chance of anyone at Interpol finding me out right away and bureaucracy would hold up the chances of Interpol getting the files right away. All I needed to do was to hire some criminals I owed favours to that just happened to be good at pulling of the impersonation of law enforcement."

Carmelita, who at this point was trying really hard to wrestle out of the ropes so she could throttle Deadeye, shouted "So, all this time, Hernandez, Khumalo, Wilson, they were ALL ACTING?!?!?"

"Yes, yes and sort of." responded Deadeye. "Wilson really was that violent. That's what really worries me in all of this."

Sly decided to ask a question as well. "Well, why did you send us all over like that, going after those other crooks?"

"They all crossed me. Pierre hired some goons from me, but then eat them on one of his rampages. Granite said I was useless. And Finbar did the worst thing of all....he broke my mother's precious vase!"

"I guess you're lucky we ended up in the places you planned to then." commented Sly, as Deadeye picked up and started to load an AK-47.

"I agree," said Deadeye, "One of my men said it would be stupid as it would be too easy for things not to go as planned. So I pushed him off the side of the fort. And my plan worked. WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, ROGOV?!?!? Well, not you, because you're dead, BUT YOU GET THE IDEA!"

"I must say, this is alot of trouble to go through just to shoot a few people. English secret agents don't get this much attention from the bad guys." Bentley pointed out.

"Yes, but it's all worth it." answered Deadeye. "You see, on top of being a supplier of man-power in the criminal underworld, I like to gain extra respect by taking on all sorts of targets. I taken out treasure hunters, adventurers, and all sorts of guys like that, but, what better to gain respect then by taking out the Cooper gang and Interpol's top cop who chases after them?"

Sly was shocked. "You did all of this for 'respect'!?!" shouted Sly.

"Oh, don't look at me like that. You do what you do over honor." was Deadeye's responce.

"That's different. I do what I do because there there is no honor about stealing from ordinary, law-abiding people." Began Sly. Carmelita rolled her eyes.

"Oh please!" she said. "All you criminals are the same, breaking the law and not caring about the consequences."

"Sssshhhhhh! This is the best part." Bentley told her as Sly continued.

"There is honor is stealing from people who cheat others. People like Pierre, who use their strengths to scare people into paying them. People like Granite, who trick people out of their valuables by pulling off scams. People like Finbar, who bend the laws around to make money. And people like you, who make money from the pain and suffering of other people and claim that bending to the will of what others think is 'respect.' "

"My family deserves respect! Twice we highly respected, and twice it was taken away from us! Know, I'm gaining respect by mixing the ways that my family has gain respect, through money and through fighting." Deadeye told him, waving his gun around.

"Listean, try as we might, not everything stays the same." reasoned Sly. "The world changes and lives change all the time. Sometimes good, other times bad. Empires fall, people die, old lifestyles go away. Relationships fall apart, and try as we might to salvage the past, some things just can't be saved. But as sad as that is, some things to manage to stick around and other things come to replace what was lost. Democracy replaces monarchs and dictators. Ignorance and fear gets replaced by knowledge and tolerance. Slavery is replaced by freedom. Loosing one we lost can show a connection we never saw before. Some things don't need the change and shouldn't, and sometimes with change, it brings new problems, but sometimes we have to find a way to deal with it, instead of living in a past that no longer exists."

After a short pause, Deadeye answered "You're right Cooper. People DO die, and I'm afraid for you, it's time for a change!"

He rasied his rifle into the air, looked down the sights with his good eye and smiled demonicly as he put his finger around the trigger. Suddenly, as by a stroke of luck, one of Deadeye's men (an ibex goat) ran into the room.

"Sir, sir!" he shouted. This caused Deadeye to fired a bullet off into the ceiling.

"Damn it, Pavlov! Can't you see I'm doing something here?!?!?! You just destoryed the dramatic tension that was built up in here!" screamed Deadeye.

Pavlov held up a cellphone and told his boss, "But sir, it's Salko, he found this really funny video on the internet of Gandhi rapping agianst Martin Luther King Jr."

Deadeye snatched the phone from his minion's hands and told him "Let me see that." He pressed the screen, causing the video to play. Within minutes, Deadeye was too busy laughing to notice his prisoners.

"Hey guys, I've found Deadeye's loot and finally broke a hole in the wall for us to use. And he's got some cool stuff down here! A giant wrench, a little book with some awesome drawings in it, and this really cool diving suit....with a drill hand!" Murray buzzed on Bentley's earpeice.

"Murray, be quiet." whispered Bentley. "Deadeye has me, Sly and Inspector Fox tied up."

"What about Webb?" asked Murray.

"Deadeye IS Webb. He fooled us with some dead cop!" explained Bentley.

Murray's responce was "...So, he's a zombie? Cool!"

Bentley would have facepalmed if his arms weren't tied up. "No Murray, he pretended to be a cop who was really dead, ticked us and Carmelita into taking out some guys who wronged him and now plans to shoot the three of us for some sort of sick underworld trophy!"

"Whoa! You'd think we would have figured out his plan by now." commented Murray.

"Yes, he is indeed some sort of mastermind." agreed Bentley, as he looked up at Deadeye, who was watching the video for the 8th time. "Sort of. Anyway, you've got to come save me, Sly and Carmelita!"

Murray hesitated a moment before asking "How about if I just save you and Sly?"

"Not unless you want to get on Sly's bad side." answered Bentley.

"Oh, that wouldn't be good." shuddered Murray. "Besides, I guess she isn't that bad. She did get me that bag of jellybeans once. Be right there!"

...

A few minutes later, the three captives were bored, rolling their eyes, tired of hearing the same song over and over. Sly was tapping his foot impatiently.

"You know," Bentley pointed out, "You've watched that same video thirty times already."

"Shut up." said Deadeye, "I have all the time in the world to kill you, seeing as how the three of you are-"

"He's going to say it." predicted Sly with annoyance.

Deadeye continued "-tied up at the moment."

The three of them groaned, with Sly noting, "And he said it."

Suddenly, the familiar sound of grunts and punches came up the hall. Pavlov and Deadeye looked over their shoulders to see Murray rush into the room and charge right into them, causing to the two of them to fly right into the back wall.

"The Murray has arived!" annocced the mighty hippo. "He would have been here sooner, but there where alot of guards and he may have sliped down the ice stairs a few times!"

"Great timing, Murray. Any longer, and I think I would never get that song out of my head." Sly told him as he untied him from the chair. He ran over to the wall where Deadeye had placed his cane and Carmelita's shock pistol to take back what was his while Murray untied Carmelita and smashed the device that Deadeye had put on Bentley's wheelchair. As his chair rebooted, he used the robot arms of his chair to untie the rope rapped around him.

"Quick guys!" Murray shouted, "We don't have much time until this place comes tumbling down!"

"What?!?!" shouted Sly, Bentley, Carmelita and a Deadeye who was just coming to.

Murray rubbed the back of his neck and explained, "Well, when I was down there, I tossed this one gaurd into this ice pillar and it fell over. I used it as a battering ram to make a hole in the wall to get to the van."

"You idiot! That was the main support pillar! Without that, the weight of the fort is going to come crashing down!" shouted Deadeye, using his rifle to get onto his feet. At this point, Pavlov was also getting up. Deadeye ran over to an intercom and annoced to his men "Attention Legionnaries! This is Deadeye! The fort is comeing down! Evacuate immediately!" Deadeye picked up Pavlov and ran to the hallway "Get a move on, Pavlov!" he ordered as he tossed the goat down the icy stairs, sending him sliding down the ice while he ran upstairs in order to get out of the way of the wave of thugs who would be spilling out. This gave Bentley an idea.

"Murray, quick, get on your stomach!" he commanded, which Murray did. Sly ran over to his make-shift sled before turning over to Carmelita, who was cleaning her pistol really quick.

"Have fun wolf hunting, Carmelita." said Sly, waving at her.

Carmelita rushed over, gun at the ready and told him "Hold it right there Cooper. After I catch Deadeye, I'm coming after you and your gang. I may have been duped by him, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten what I do for a living."

Sly hopped onto Murray's back and responded with "It's a date then. Remember, I'm going to hold you to it." as he used his cane to push Murray down the stairs.

Carmelita could hear the sounds of the three yelling as they went sliding down the stair case, and the 'ooths' and 'ahhs' of retreating guards and henchmen getting knocked over. She turned around to run to the roof, where she saw that Deadeye was geting into a helicopter to try and fly away. Thinking quickly, she shot the tail rotor, making it impossible for the chopper to fly without crashing. The wolf jumped out, AK-47 in hand. The two glared at each other through the sights of their weapons as the tower they stood on became more and more unstable.

"I'm not scared of you, Inspector Fox." gloated Deadeye.

"You should be." warned Carmelita, "You know my arrest record."

"Yes, I do. Your arrest record is pretty much just you chasing after Cooper, Cooper takes out a crook, and then you settle for busting them instead. You know what I think, Inspector Fox? I think you LET Cooper get away."

"That's a filthy lie and you know it!" she shouted, firing her pistol with rage. In her anger, she just put some holes in the roof top as Deadeye casually walked by them.

"That's what YOU think." chuckled Deadeye. "You see, working for the KGB can teach you alot of things. You see, it turns out there is one part of the brain that we don't really tap into. It's working, but it's like a dark black sea. There are things in it that you have to dive in to find out what it had."

Carmelita fired another shot that almost hit Deadeye, but who moved away just in time. "Please," she groaned, "I had enough of this junk with the Contessia."

Deadeye continued, despite Carmelita's annoyance, "You see, this part of our minds makes itself up long before the rest of our mind does. So, some time ago, your mind wondered about what would happen if you actually got Cooper behind bars. It realized that, without Sly Cooper, where would your life be? Sure, you're a competent policewomen, but so many of the people you arrested you only found chasing Sly Cooper. You realized that you wouldn't be the super cop you are today if it had not been for Cooper 'softening up' the high-profile thieves you arrest. Heck, maybe there is even a part of you that would miss his charm, his cunning, his odd intest in you, his smile....like how lovers miss each other when they seperate."

Carmelita was boiling with rage. "OK, that's it! The kiddie gloves are off!"

"Bring it on! And after I kill you, I can write 'Mr. and Mrs. Sly Cooper' with little hearts all over your police notepad!" shouted Deadeye.

...

Meanwhile, on the ground,the gang was working feverishly to load the loot into the van as the tower started to lean in their direction. Deadeye's Legionnaries had ran off to hide in an emegency bunker just down about a mile, so there wasn't anyone putting up a fight. As Murray lifted his last armfull of loot into the van, he gave Bentley the thumbs up as he slamed the back doors shut.

"OK Sly, that's the last of Deadeye's things. Let's get into the van and get out of here before that tower comes down!" Sly seemed more concered with the gunshots coming from the top of the tower. "Sly, get a move on! Carmelita can fend for herself, but we can't survive getting crushed!"

Sly sighed and said "OK Bentley." as he climbed into the van. Murray sped off just as the tower finally began to fall over. Murray shifted into top gear and floored the gas pedel as hard as he could. The gang was lucky that the van just made it and the tower hit the ground. The ice smashed into thousands of peices, as the rare wonder of nature that took millions of years to fully form came crashing down in a few minutes. Sly told Murray to put on the brakes, sending the van to a skidding halt. The three got out of the van and looked at the rubble. It seemed like nothing could live through that.

Out of nowhere, this idea was shaddered by the sounds of digging. The trio leaned towards the sound in anticipation as Deadeye clawed the way out of his former hideout. He stood over the ice and snow to see that there was no sign of Inspector Fox.

He shot his fists off into the air and annonced "Yes! I did it! I killed her!" Having lost his rifle in the rubble, Deadeye pulled out a revovler from inside his jacket and told the Cooper gang, as he slowly walked over to them over the chunks of ice and snow, "Now, to shoot the three of you. Oh look, and this time, you even have your fat, stupid hippo friend. Thanks agian for help in crushing Inspector Fox like the bug she is!"

"Aarrgghhh! Enough with the wordplay, you are terrible at it!" shouted Bentley.

"I'll talk however I want, turtle." said Deadeye has he pulled the hammer back on his gun. Before he could fire off a shot thought, his gun was zapped out of his hand with a blast of electricty! Everyone looked over to see Carmelita, who had dug her way out of the snow AND with her weapon still close at hand.

Murray shouted "Awesome! OK, NOW I haven't been more glad to see Interpol in my life!"

"You don't mess with Inspector Carmelita Fox." noted Sly, "Expect for us of course." Deadeye tried to run off, but Carmelita shot him in the back, zapping him and causing him to fall in front of the gang. Carmelita pounced onto his back and put his hands in cuffs. Sly clapped and told her "Nice work Carmelita." He stopped clapping when Carmelita pointed her shock pistol in Sly's face. Bentley and Murray gasped in terror, but Sly played it cool. "I knew I could count on you."

As Bentley and Murray slowly backed away into the van, Carmelita said, smiling and handcuffs in her other hand, "I hope you don't mind a police escort."

Sly laughed and responded "Handcuffs? Escort? And you say I have a dirty mind."

Carmelita snarled and explained "No more jokes, Cooper. There is no where to hide for miles around. Admit it, I've finally got you."

Sly answered with a grin "Oh, Inspector Fox, parting is such sweet sorrow." Before she could respond, Sly kissed her on the lips, stunning her long enough for Sly to tap the van, signaling to Murray to drive off with him hooked onto the roof with his cane. Carmelita watched as Sly removed his hat and waved before the icy winds blurred his image from sight. Carmelita blushed and sighed as Deadeye came to.

"Ha, I was right!" he hissed.

Carmelita shoved a peice of ice into Deadeye's muzzle and said "Oh, shut up."

...

Heathrow Prison. 30 miles outside of Paris, France. 7:50 PM Local Time.

After years of being wanted by law enforcement and governments all over the world, Deadeye was behind bars and the Legionnaries were broken up. He was chained up and being escorted by two guards. This part of the prison was known by inmates as the "Cooper Block", as alot of criminals that Sly had stolen from ended up here. Looking from cell to cell, Deadeye could see (as best as a one-eyed wolf can) part of the rouges gallery that was Sly Cooper's enemies. He turned to his left and saw General Tsao, the crazed misogynistic Chinese General, was oddly enough placed next to Mz. Ruby, the female alligator who tried to use her voodoo zombies to take over Mexico and memeber of the Fiendish Five. As one who knows anything about the two could expect, they were fighting.

"You stupid women!" shouted Tsao in a chinese accent, "Anything you could do, I can do better! I can do anything better then you, and that includes black magic!"

Mz. Ruby, in a southern drawl, said "No you can't!"

"Yes I can!" argued Tsao, "Because I'm a strong man and you're a weak women!"

"I'll show y'all weak!" shouted Mz. Ruby, punching through the wall the sepperated them and strangling Tsao with her bare hands. Two pairs of robotic arms popped out of the walls and pulled them apart as a third pair fixed the wall.

Deadeye turned to his right and saw Mugshot pumping iron, counting as he went.

"Tree thousand, eight hun-der-ed and eleven-dy six." he stated. Meanwhile, in the cell next to him, the english frog machinist Sir Raleigh was very irritated with Mugshot's counting.

"You moronic muscle-mass!" he yelled, "There is no such number as 'eleven-dy'!"

"There is now, frog boy." Mugshot answered.

"You know Mugshot," said former Interpol prison warden the Contessa, from across from Raleigh's cell, "This concern with self-image may represnt a deeper issue."

Mugshot answered "Hush it lady! My psycho-mological health is in as great shape in my physical health. Oh great, now I lost my place!"

As Mugshot started all over, Raleigh called out "Ohhhhh, see what your meddling has done?!?!"

?

On the same side as the Contessa's cell, Deadeye could see that Mick and Finbar Flanagan were sharing a cell with a bunk bed Mick tried to climb to the top bunk, but his brother yanked him down and said "Why do you get the top bunk, ya' cute hoor(Untrustworthy male person, often a politician)?"

?

"Because I'm not the reason why we're in prison, you gobdaw!" shouted Mick.

?

"No," said Finbar, "your the pain in the arse who's the reason why our parents got married!" They soon started to smack each other before a pair of robotic arms got inbetween and broke up the fight.

?

Next, Deadeye heard a familiar voice to his right. It was Pierre Loup-Garou, the Montreal mob boss.

?

"Hey Deadeye, you son of a bitch!" he screamed, clawing at the clear, transparent door of his cell. "Thanks to you, I'm here! Before, I was at the SHU! Sure, it was still prison, but I had connections there! I could have had anything I wanted: fine wine, money, women! BUT NO! I hired some of YOUR goons, so they transfered me here, thousands of miles away from my turf! And your men tasted terrible, didn't they shower?!?!" Soon, a robot arm came down and tased Pierre, causing him to fall to the floor. Finally, his gaurds got to his cell. The door slid open. They uncuffed his hands and pushed him inside, with the door sliding shut behind him.

?

"Have a nice life sentence, Deadeye." mocked one of the guards as they walked away. Deadeye pounded on his cell door.

?

"I'll get you for this, Cooper! I will hunt you down and chop off your tail!" He yelled.

?

"Hey new guy, I already got dibs on Cooper!" yelled Mugshot. "I'm going to pound him into the ground!"

?

"Correction, my canine contemporary! I shall get my revenge through my superior mind!" Raleigh budded in. Soon, the whole block was calling out how they were going to get revenge.

"...smash his smart arse little head with a tire iron!" shouted the Finbars.

"...death by a thousand cuts!" ordered General Tsao.

"..make his skull into a cup!" yelled Mz. Ruby.

"I'll rip him to little peices, fry them up and eat them!" snarled Pierre.

"I shall destory is mind!" called the Contessa.

" HEY! SHUT UP! IT'S TIME FOR LIGHTS OUT!" shouted the guards, shutting off the lights.

?

Outside, Sly and the gang where watching the commotion from their Binocucoms. Sly said "Ahh..... It's an interesting feeling to be the reason why the caged birds sing."

?

"Angry, violent, foul-mouthed birds." added Murray.

?

"All that's really missing is the song part." noted Bentley.

?

Sly told them "Well, that's enough site seeing boys. Time to go home." Murray started up the van and started to drive back to Paris.

?

"Hey Sly, where should we go for our next heist?" asked Bentley.

?

"I'm not sure." answered Sly, scratching his chin.

?

Murray had a suggestion. "Hey, why not look for El Dorado, the lost city of gold chocolate coins?"

?

"That's the lost city of gold, Murray." corrected Bentley.

?

"Who cares? That would still be an AWESOME place to go!" shouted Murray. The van sped off into the distance, as the gang went on to go onto farther adventures.

The end