Hey Everyone! So we're getting close to the end here, after this chapter there is the last chapter (13), I have everything edited but I'm going to wait a week or 2 (if I can help it) to release the final chapter of the Road of Life series. It's been a joy and pleasure to write this story, we still have 1 more chapter to go! This is a M/M Romance story, the following chapter contains m/m kissing action, so please, if you detest such things do not read. For the rest of you, enjoy the story! The end of this chapter will probably shock a few of you, as always I enjoy constructive criticism, ideas, suggestions, comments and love.

Edit: Oh! I completely forgot to add, this chapter was actually inspired at the time by 2 songs imparticular, those songs are "Lost In Paradise" from Evanescence's newest album and "Paradise Lost" by Symphony X.

At the time I was thinking of chapter titles and what I wanted the chapters to contain I was feeling a bit down and happened to be listening to "Lost In Paradise" by Evanescence (I listen to her music when I'm feeling down because it helps, oddly, to fight my sorrows). The beauty of the song inspired me to write the wonderful chapter below, filled with the tones of grief and sorrow, but at the same time filled with tones of hope and inspiration. If you feel like it I would recommend listening to the song, it's one of my personal favorites.

As for "Paradise Lost" by Symphony X, I was listening to the song during the actual writing of this chapter, the instrumentals of this song made me think of putting a different spin on the story. In the original roughdraft of writing I had intended for Max to actually be the one to die in this chapter and for this to be the last chapter, but after listening to this song I felt that someone should die, but not Max. You'll find out who it is that takes Max's place after you read the chapter! =)

As it currently stands I'm very happy with the outcome of this chapter and glad I changed the storyline from what I originally had it as. Also, a special thanks to my editor Novastar, who has supported my writing since the beginning and helped correct the gramatical mistakes in my chapters, thanks Nova, couldn't have done it without ya!

So now, without further ado, here's Chapter 12 Of the Road Of Life.

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Chapter 12 ~ Lost in Paradise, To Lay Down Your Life

In the winter months that passed Andrew and I grew closer to each other, regaining the trust that we had lost. He still planned to go to college in Valor and I was going to take my old job back and move in with him into the campus apartments. I also planned to take a few classes that dealt with agriculture, something I had become greatly interested in thanks to Andrew's dad, who had a love for gardening and horticulture.

When Spring came around again we began the move to the Valor College Campus and the move went rather smoothly, albeit Andrew's parents were a bit emotional, making the two of us promise to call them as often as possible. Both Andrew and I rolled our eyes at their "Empty Nest" syndrome. The apartment we moved into seemed a bit small, according to Andrew's parents, but for just the two of us it seemed like it was big enough.

Time seemed to pass quickly. Days turned into weeks and months. As summer began to approach I began to spiral into a short, but deep, depression. I began to think heavily about things. All the promises I had made, only to let Andrew down and put his life in danger. One night I just held on to him and cried, when he asked me what was wrong all I could tell him was

"I don't know..."

The next few days that passed, I finally admitted to myself that I had been denying the feeling of hopelessness, which was both a good and bad thing. Good because it meant that I was resisting darkness and sorrow, but bad because I wasn't allowing myself to process the sorrow and get rid of it, instead it stayed in a neutral state that still was causing harm. This feeling that I had nothing left made no sense to me simply because I had everything. I argued with myself for hours on end and eventually the depression passed, but even though it was gone I found myself in a strange state of being.

I realized that I was lost in paradise. I understood that even as much as I'd like the past not to exist, it still did, and I had to accept that. I told myself that I simply would not repeat the mistakes of my past. I would burn it all away and be truly free of the pains that burdened me. One thing I realized most, above all else, was that I wasn't lost in paradise alone, I had Andrew. He would never abandon me and now that we were truly happy I would never abandon him either.

Time passes so quickly when trials end and happiness begins. A year, two years, three years had flown by, in which time I was finishing up my major, having decided to go into landscaping and start my own business, leaving behind my old job even though I had maintained a high title for some time. Andrew was still going to school to be a doctor, though pretty soon he'd be finishing up as well. Our relationship had grown to be unbreakable. We were in ultimate bliss and even though each day had its trials at the end of each day we solved everything and slept together happily.

The thought had never once occurred to me until just recently, but I wanted to marry Andrew. Yes, we were still rather young, but both of us knew we loved the other and I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this wolf. I took him out to a fancy restaurant one night after his finals were done, which we usually only did for special occasions. He thought that the occasion was for him finishing his finals but when he noticed that I was trying to avoid seeming nervous he asked what the real reason was. At that moment I stood up, walked over to him and got down on one knee, holding a little black velvet box to him that contained a Jade ring with Alexandrite gems, Jade and Alexandrite being his favorite stones, magnificently imbued into it.

"Andrew Charles Greyback... will you marry me?" I said, a slight nervous fluctuation in my voice and a deep blush covering my face.

He gasped as he looked at the ring, taking it from me to examine its supreme beauty. The restraunt fell into hushed silence as the other patrons waited anxiously for Andrew's answer to my proposal.

He gazed at me lovingly and then shouted, "Yes!" in absolute glee as he pulled me up into a tight hug and loving kiss. Throughout the restraunt I heard mixed results, a few mumbles of discomfort here and there but a majority of the restraunt cheered and clapped in excitement for the both of us. Throughout the crowd a sudden chill ran down my spine as somewhere I felt the familiar gaze of hatred. Somewhere, someone was gazing with a long missing hate. I cast the suspicion aside for now, only wanting to feel bliss.

We ate a nice dinner of lobster and shrimp and the restaurant owner gave us a bottle of wine to celebrate our engagement. The meal and wine were fantastic, it had been a while since I had eaten lobster and since neither of us drank wine often it burned a bit going down our throats. We made sure to thank the owner before leaving to head home.

"Well, well, well... If it ain't the faggot slut... Back with Andrew it seems, things not work out with Shane?"

I turned to see the equine figure. He had obviously been on the streets for quite a while. His eyes were sunken and his ragged clothing was stained with dirt and other filth. A powerful odor accompanied him as he staggered slightly toward us. He chuckled, his voice rough and tinged with a drunken slur.

"I lost everything because of you!" He yelled. "Lost my career, my home and friends!" His eyes were filled with pure rage. "You took everything!" He raised a gun and aimed for Andrew.

"You did this to yourself Alan, you have no one to blame but yourself..." I stood in front of Andrew, intent on protecting him.

Alan shook the gun in his hand, "Bullshit! You caused all this! Humiliated me! I'm suffering because of you! I'm going to take everything from you before you die! Just so you understand what it feels like."

I sighed, taking a step towards him, "I do know what it's like Alan. You've already showed me what that was like. Your driven hatred for me is what is causing you to destroy your own life. Don't blame me for your own faults. There's still time to fix things Alan, to put this behind us and move on. Put down the gun and leave behind your rage before it ruins the rest of your life." I said to him as calmly as I could.

"No! Move so I can kill your precious lover!" He yelled.

"You'll have to kill me Alan, because I won't let you hurt him!" I yelled back.

By now the police that had been phoned by those nearby had arrived. The air filled with the sound of screeching tires, sirens and the yells of the officers. The area around was lit up by their lights and the murmuring of a gathered crowd began to grow. I heard and saw none of it. All I knew is that I had to keep Andrew between me and the barrel of that gun. Me and Alan stood, gazes locked, a lifetime of bitterness and hatred connecting us.

In a way, we defined each other. Neither would be the person they were without the other. But while I still disliked Alan, I had decided to give up my seething hatred for him. To let go of the rage that had actually kept me isolated for most of my life. Despite our history of conflict and my fear for Andrews safety, I felt only a great pity for the pathetic creature Alan was; a sad, shriveled soul that could only lash out at those around it.

"Alan." I stated as calmly as I could. I could see the gun shaking in his grip. "If you shoot, the police will kill you. I'm truly sorry for the way things turned out in the past, but this won't erase any of it."

His arm was trembling, but he kept the gun aimed towards us. He smiled, and a look both weary and manic took place in his features.

"It doesn't matter," He rasped. "My life isn't worth shit now..."

"Don't, Alan." I pleaded, "You'll die!"

"That's fine by me....but I'll kill you first!" He roared and squeezed the trigger.

BAM!

The gunshot rang through the air, only I didn't feel the sting of the bullet. A second later, the air filled with the ringing reports of a dozen officers firing at once. Alan lay dead on the ground. I had figured that the police had shot him in reaction to his firing first. I opened my eyes to see why I hadn't felt the bullet. On the ground a street coyote lay clutching his chest. I recognized him, it was Shane. I kneeled down by him and held him in my arms, a sudden pang of sorrow reaching my heart.

"Max... I had to save you... Once I learned what he planned to do..." He coughed, some blood coming up his throat.

"I know you must still hate me... But please, think better of me now...I've always loved you." Blood began trickling out his mouth. "I...was too cowardly...to save y..you then...when you needed me.."

Tears began to gather in my eyes as I held him closer, "oh Shane... I'm so sorry... I should have never said such cruel things to you." A few tears fell and he smiled.

"I forgive you Shane...for all of it." I leaned down, giving him a loving kiss on the lips, the last kiss I would share with him.

More tears ran from his eyes. I felt his heartbeat as we kissed, once. Twice. Then nothing. He gasped once and I leaned back, looking down at him. Painfully, I took in the fact that despite everything, Shane had shown the greatest act of love one can offer another. The sacrifice of one's own life.

Yes, he did hurt me, but he loved me and I, at one point, had loved him too. I held his hand and stroked his head fur. After a few moments, I rested him on the ground and instantly went to Andrew, holding to him tightly as I sobbed uncontrollably. Ambulances arrived but they were too late. Shane was already gone. Andrew held onto me, comforting me, knowing I was in pain.

Shane did the one thing for me that I know I would do for Andrew, in a heartbeat. Even if you're lost in paradise, life has a way of snapping you back to reality.

I will never forget Shane for his sacrifice. He gave me the gift of life, allowing me to live on, to marry Andrew and spend the rest of my days in peace and happiness. There are so many lessons to learn while walking on the road of life. Who's to say who has a horrible life or not? I had a shitty life, but I stopped complaining and chose to change my stars. I now have a good life. I don't harass others who say they have horrible lives. I ask them "how so?" and tell them how to fix it by telling them my tale, by letting them know they aren't alone. Instead of pointing out why they have good lives I point out how they can change their horrible ones.

As a friend once told me, the only time we're truly fated to stay trapped in our personal darkness, is when we cease trying.