FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

To my mother,

Who loved me unconditionally no matter who (or what) I turned out to be.

Ah, the trip to the doctors office. Many fear the doctors more than they fear a dentist, but not me. I have seen the inside of an OR so many times it cracks me up when I see a super high tech OR from a TV show. Honestly though, it is not even the whole procedure that is unlivable, I love that feeling of floating as the anesthesia pump is turned on. The worst part is the drive. I come from a town where the "Big city" is only a 20-minute drive and has a population of less than 100 thousand. I am not yet used to all of the traffic, the lights, the bridges, and the homeless that crowd this city. Yeah, the drive into the city is both confusing and painful.

Bump! Another pothole my mother so blindly ran into. I not only knew that it was bad for the car, but if this kept up I might get carsick. And I care about the car because in a year it will be my car when I get my license. I thought that such a big city might at least be able to properly repair the roads, but apparently I was mistaken. If my nerves weren't shot by the time we arrived, I might need to relocate my spine.

"Mom, I hate to sound like a child, but are we nearly there?" I asked rubbing my bruised back.

"Don't worry Gabe, we only have about 10 blocks to go," She assured me.

Around the time that I go to the doctors, I really have little tolerance for pain. See, I have to go to the doctor's office once every two weeks to have a shot, but this is no ordinary shot. I have a blood disease. It is treatable, but the procedure is so painful they need to put me under.

The truth is, I put on this whole "Its nothing" attitude to not worry my mom. Hell, there is lots of stuff I keep from her. The truth is, I really don't like going and having this treatment. When I wake up, I just don't feel right. Not like I am sick, but I don't feel quite myself.

Finally we arrive at the hospital. We had a difficult time parking the car. Mom got a used car that unfortunately is huge, thus hard to park and get out of. But eventually we made it to the clinic. The winding halls and complex elevator system has become somewhat a second nature to me. Once we reached the last elevator I looked myself over in the mirror. I was incredibly pale, due to the fact that I was pretty much overdue for my shot. My brown hair had lost a lot of its color, and even my eyes seemed to have gone from blue to nearly grey.

We reached the prep floor and I followed a nurse to one of the prep curtains. I remembered this one, Helen. She was kind of pretty, but unlike the macho-jocks at school I don't drool over the nurses. I am not sure why, I just never have. Sure I have had a few girlfriends over the past, but they never lasted very long. Maybe its because I actually know I have no chance with them, I'm 15 and they're probably close to their 30's after they get out of nursing school. Helen led me to the bed.

"Ok Gabe, you know the drill. No clothing or metal, here's your gown," she said as she handed me the paper dress.

I closed the curtain and started undressing. I took off my sterling silver chain and placed it in my coat pocket. I don't know why, but this part never bothered me. I have always been comfortable in my own skin, and why shouldn't I be? Where most guys in school are either muscle bound, chunky, or otherwise overweight, I was 5 foot four inches with not an ounce of fat on me. I've always been kind of scrawny, never seeming to gain an ounce of weight. I have become a natural at tying the gown from the back, practically takes no effort anymore. When I had the static proof dress, cap, and socks on, I got into the bed and Helen came back.

This was the best part of being in a hospital, the heated blankets. It doesn't matter if you have a broken wrist, leg, or are just depressed, the heated blankets just melts the pain away and leaves you with that indescribable feeling of bliss.

"Wait here," said Helen, "I will get your mom so she can see you before we get you into the OR."

With that she left. On the table next to me, I saw my phone ring. I had forgotten it was even there, I would have to get my mom to take it when they wheeled me away. But for now I might as well humor whoever might be calling me. I picked it up, the caller ID said it was Kirk. Kirk has been my best friend since elementary school. Me and him bond really well, I always seem to know what he wants to do. I figured it would be rude if I were to not answer so I flipped open my cell phone and started conversing.

"Hello?" I spoke into the phone.

"Hey Gabe," The eight-bit voice of Kirk replied, "What 'cha doing?"

"Oh not much, in for another appointment."

"Ah, so that's why I didn't see you in home room."

"Yeah. Listen, I need to go into the OR soon, so I am going to have to let you go."

"Hey Gabe?"

"Yeah?"

"You're going to be ok right? I mean, yesterday you were as pale as a ghost."

"Oh yeah, Its just another routine shot. You know I always look that way right before I am due."

"Yeah, I guess your right. Oh well, I will have the homework ready for you tomorrow as well as the notes from Biology."

"Ok, thanks man, see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, bye."

Man, if there was one person I could count on in this world it was him. We have been looking out for each other since we met. We are like twins I guess, even though we look nothing alike. But we are practically inseparable. Helen walked in with my mother at that moment and my mom started to gather up my stuff.

"Ok then, I will see you when you wake up," my mom said, "Take care, and don't give the doctors a hard time."

"Alright," I told him, "see you later."

And with that she disappeared outside the curtain. The breaks on the bed unlocked and a male nurse walked in and helped Helen to push me towards the OR. Once I was there, I kept forgetting how bright it was. White walls, white ceilings, white linoleum floors, and silver looking instruments. The anesthesiologist put the mask over my face and I closed my eyes. I like to trick the doctors into thinking it works instantly on me, but it usually takes about ten seconds or so. From this I get to hear a few stories from the other doctors. This time I heard Dr. Lawson, the lead doctor converse with another doctor I was unfamiliar with.

"Dr. Lawson," said the newbie doctor, "I looked over the notes, and it looks like there is only half of the serum left, we don't get another batch made for a week."

"That's fine Jim," said Dr. Lawson, "For just such an occasion, we have made a serum that is twice as potent, and what the mother doesn't know won't hurt her. Or the boy for that matter."

There was a moment of silence between them, then the doctor named Jim spoke, "I just don't think this will work. As it is, what we are doing, it's just unnatural-"

Then I was out like a light.

Waking up from the anesthesia has always been a chore. I have a hard time staying awake when it finally does wear off. I always have images and flashes just before I fully wake up. The first was me being wheeled out of the OR. The second was the doctors securing my bed in the room. This last one stuck in my head for a while, it was a nurse checking up on me and going over the chart. Just before she completely closed the door, I saw a red blur outside the door. Finally about two hours after, I was fully awake. I wished I was still asleep though, I felt really nauseous, and it felt like my bed was on an airplane with turbulence. Finally my stomach gave in and I reached for a bucket. If there was one thing in this world I hated more than anything it was vomiting.

This usually didn't happen after the procedure. My stomach lurched and twice nothing came up. I could feel the veins in my face break, and finally something came up. I looked and it was nothing but bile. Figures, I didn't eat anything 24 hours prior to the trip to the OR, so there was nothing. I set the bucket down and heard a beeping sound, loud and surprising. It was my heart monitor, beeping like crazy. I passed out and slowly the beeping faded away. Fainter and fainter the noise faded, until it was gone. Then the blur from before appeared, it was a bit more focused, but I could only make out one thing, its green glowing eyes.

A surge of pain entered my chest and my eyes snapped open. I gasped for air and looked around, the beeping had stopped, and all the doctors around me had a look of relief on their face. I fell back onto the bed, and sleep fell over me as soon as the nurse covered me in a warmed blanket. When I woke up next I felt fine. My mother was waiting in the chair beside me.

"Oh my goodness Gabe I am so glad you're alright," she exclaimed as she hugged me.

Pain shot through my chest and I had to push her off. I opened up my shirt a bit; there were 2 red marks. I touched one of them and it hurt like a burn mark. A doctor came in with a clipboard and came to the edge of my bed. His eyes seemed a bit distant, like he was thinking of something else.

"Let me be the first to say that I am so sorry for this whole outrageous incident," the doctor said in a fast tone, "Something happened with the anesthesia. The technician is a bit new, but that's ok, new employees are easier to get rid of right?" That last sentence was said with a hint of desperation.

My mother frowned and said, "If that is how you view your employees in this economy I can say I am not impressed. I can understand a newbie making a mistake, but a doctor who takes no responsibility is just not right."

"Of course, I-I'm sorry. I take full responsibility for the matter."

"I hate to interrupt," I said, "but what is all this about?"

"You came out of it and you nearly died of some heart malfunction," my mother said.

"It was Cardio-" the doctor said before being cut off by my mother.

"It does not matter, what does matter is that if you don't receive a letter to your supervisor, you will be hearing from my lawyers. Now I want my son discharged immediately, do you understand?"

"Y-yes, of course, I am signing the discharge slip right now," and with that the doctor signed the slip, and left.

My mother looked at me sympathetically and said, "I am going to get you something to eat from the lobby, are you ok to get dressed on your own?"

"Yeah," I said, "I'm fine."

And with that my mother got up and walked out of the room. While I was getting dressed, I started to think about what had transpired. First off, there was that thing that the doctor said about my shot. I didn't feel like bringing that up though, as bad as it was, I didn't want to see some poor kid get fired. The other thing was that blur that I had seen just before I passed out. What was that; some unknown side effect from the supercharged shot? Or did I hit my head on something as I was vomiting? Either way, it was something I would figure out later. Once I was fully dressed, I walked over to the wheelchair; I couldn't walk properly after the whole ordeal.

My mother walked into the room and started wheeling me away to the entrance. Once we were in the elevator, I looked at my reflection in one of the shiny surfaces. I looked worse than I had been before. I could see the veins in my face, and my hair was almost greyish. Usually I am in better shape when I leave, but I looked like one of those virus-infected zombies from the movies. Once we got to the entrance, my mom pulled the car up and I got into the passenger seat.

I began munching on the pretzel my mom had gotten me, but about 30 minutes after we left, I asked her to pull over. Nothing more embarrassing than having to vomit on the side of the highway, am I right? By the time we got home, it was dark and late. I just went straight upstairs and fell asleep in my bed. That was the one place I could just lay down and everything would be fine.

That night I was plagued by strange dreams. In it I was being chased, but I wasn't getting farther away from the figure I was running from. In fact, it was just sitting there, and I could make it out a bit better. It had a red coat and it was just sitting there attentively, licking its paws. Then it stared at me, with those glowing green eyes.

I woke up and sat upright. It was morning; the sun shone through my blinds and it was a nice day. I still had school to get to, so I got up and got dressed. Once I got to the bathroom, I looked myself over. I felt much better then I did yesterday, and I looked better too. My face was normal and my hair had its color back. I could smell fresh waffles being toasted downstairs, so I brushed my teeth and ran down the stairs. Sure enough, there were strawberry waffles on the table. They looked delicious, I poured some syrup on them and ate them quickly.

"Slow down or you might choke," mom said over her shoulder.

"Cant help it, they are awesome," I replied with a bit of food still in my mouth.

"Oh I wouldn't say they were awesome, but I bet anything is better than that hospital food."

"Well, they are top notch in my books."

"You had best hurry, you don't want to be late for school."

I Finished up my breakfast and grabbed my stuff. I walked to the school, feeling much better than I did before. It felt hard to believe that only yesterday I was in the hospital. Once I got to the school I found Kirk leaning against the brick building. He waved me over and I happily walked over to him. He was a short kid, much like myself; only he had short-cropped red hair, mine was much longer. Unlike me, he preferred to keep his skinny figure hidden by a long dark green coat; I liked to wear skinny jeans and T-shirts.

"Hey Gabe," said Kirk, "how're you feeling?"

"Much better," I replied, "lets get to class."

"Did you do something with your hair?" he asked as we walked to 1st period.

"No, why? Is the color still a bit dull? It was that way yesterday, it happens when I wait too long to get that shot."

"No, its fine. I just noticed a bit of a reddish tint to it, I was wondering if you died it."

"Huh?" I asked in confusion. I looked at my reflection in the glass window and sure enough, my hair was still brown but with a sort of ginger tint to it.

"Well anyway, if we don't hurry we will be late for English class."

"Yeah sure," I said as we ran to beat the late bell.

Sure enough we arrived in Ms. Rock's class just in time. I took my seat to the left of Kirk. We began immediately into a lecture on our outside reading assignment. The lecture was a complete bore to me so instead I decided to focus on something else. It was at this point that I realized I was concentrating more on Kirk. He liked the outside reading we did so his attention was focused on that. Sometimes that happened, I would catch myself staring at someone, but more often then naught it was Kirk. I always pass it off as a guy thing, I mean there probably isn't a guy in this class that does not stare at a particular girl for a bit before the girl realizes. This time I couldn't pry my eyes away; there was something different about him, or maybe about me. Just then, the nausea from yesterday came back, as well as a slight pain in my side. Just when I thought all my troubles from yesterday were gone.

"Ms Rock, I think I'm going to be sick," I said.

"Gabe I know my lectures are boring," She replied, "but I could do without the drama."

"No I am serious, can I go to the nurses office?"

"Fine, just be sure to get a pass from the nurse on your way back."

With that I rushed out of the room. Something felt wrong, like really wrong. I lied about going to the nurse's office; I heard some pretty scary stories from what she does. One thing I know, as fact is that she is actually trying to be a biology teacher, and the last thing I wanted her to do was to start poking around instead of just giving me a pill and sending me on my way. Instead I started running for my house. Along the way the pain got worse and worse, and it spread from my side to the rest of my body. I lived only a few blocks from school, but to get to my house faster I cut through a couple of yards. I got to my house and opened the door to see my mother sitting in a couch. Before she could say anything I ran up to my room. She started asking something but I just replied with the shutting and locking of my door.

Pain shot through my arm, and I looked in horror as red hairs that looked like fur started to grow out of it, and the same was happening to my hand in a black color and it spread up my arm. I tried to stop it by putting my hand around my arm and squeezing to keep it from spreading, but it was a useless attempt. Whatever was happening to me, I had to fight it. More pain shot through my spine and a red furry tail tipped with white fur erupted from my pants. I looked at it and thought I must have been hallucinating. But when I touched it and I felt it twitch and move, I knew that this was real. My hands were changing, not only was it fur covered, but the nails were becoming hardened claws and some of the calluses on my hands became pads on my fingers and on the palm of my hand. I told myself that this was not happening, that this couldn't happen. I could feel my ears elongating and traveling up the sides of my head under my hair. The pain was becoming unbearable.

I looked up and in front of me I saw it. The blur that I had seen yesterday and in my dreams, only now he was as clear as day. It was a fox, with red fur and green eyes that shone like emeralds. It started to walk towards me and I immediately tried to back away, but every movement was painful. I was completely at its mercy, and as this thought passed through my mind I felt my new tail go limp. It placed a forepaw on the hand that had changed, and immediately I winced at the pain, but it didn't let it go. Then I heard a voice in my head, like that of an old wise man.

The voice said, "Let yourself go, do not be afraid of who you really are."

I looked up into its eyes and it looked into mine. Was it the fox that put the words into my head? But then I realized what the fox really was, it was me. The fox started to circle me and I began to relax. The change came quicker this time. The fur quickly spread across my body, black from my elbow to the ends of my fingers, and the same color for my knees to my toes. White fur covered the underside of my jaw and spread down my neck and continued on down my chest and abdomen and I could feel it spread down till it stopped just on the inside of my upper legs. Red fur appeared everywhere else that had not been covered. My hand changed just like the other one had, but without pain. Next my feet changed, they became more digit grade and resembled animal paws, complete with claws that ripped through my socks and pads on the bottoms of them. My hands still kept their shape safe for the claws pads and fur. My face elongated into a muzzle and suddenly I was hit with an amazing sensation. I could smell everything, some things I could not even begin to describe.

Then it stopped; my change was done. I started panting, the second half of the transformation didn't hurt like the first, but it was very tiring. I heard my mom knock at the door, and then the handle jiggled a bit before she opened the door. Figures I had to get the bathroom style lock, anyone with a brain and a penny could get in. She walked in and began talking about how I was in big trouble for skipping school, but then she stopped and just stared. I looked at the mirror that was beside her, and I saw what I had become. I was still the same size as before, but I looked like some sort of half fox half human creature. I was covered in silky smooth fur and my whole face was deformed, it was elongated into a fox's muzzle. My ears were sticking up out of the top of my head through my hair, and they were covered with black fur.

"Mom?" I said, taken aback by the fact I could still talk.

"Oh my god is that you Gabe?" she asked in confusion.

I turned over onto my back and replied, "Yeah, its me."

She sat down on a chair and just stared while I tried to pull myself up onto my bed. My clothes were ripped to shreds, my jeans looked more like shorts and my shirt and socks were shreds on the floor. I found that only the padded part of my paws were supposed to touch the ground and positioned them that way. My mother was still sitting there with a look of utter astonishment on her face.

"What happened?" she asked.

"I honestly don't know," I replied.

"How did this happen?"

"Again, I don't know."

"Sorry, but this a little unbelievable. I mean, my son just changed into some sort of..." her words trailed off trying to find the right one.

My ears drooped and my tail stopped moving on the bed as I said, "Monster, I know. I-I don't know what's wrong with me, and I know I look different, but I am still the same Gabe underneath. I can understand if you don't want to be around me."

My mother got up out of the chair, walked towards me and put a hand on my shoulder. She looked at me and said "Your not a monster. You're my son. It does not matter who or what you are or look like, you're still my Gabe."

My ears perked up and I looked at her. He smile was sincere and caring. I reached out and hugged her, and she hugged me back. I sat back down on the bed, and she told me about my father. She never talked about him before, but she told me that the day she was pregnant he just left. All he left was instructions and a doctor's name. She didn't even know what it was that the doctors gave me each week.

She left my room and told me that she was going to see her lawyer about the doctors and their procedure. She assured me that she wouldn't mention my condition to them and that I could stay home today. When she left I just sat on my bed thinking about what she said. Even though I looked like some circus sideshow, she still loved me. I decided to change my clothes since my shirt was gone and my pants were pretty much ruined. When I had them off I looked at myself again in the mirror standing up. I had gotten a little taller, and although I kept my skinny figure I had gotten a bit of muscle tone. As comfortable as I was in my own skin, somehow I felt even more comfortable in my own fur; after all I was covered with it. I heard a knock at the door and noticed the voice on the other side was Kirks voice.

"Hey Gabe? Can I come in? I have your work from class today."

I thought about it for a second, but then I said, "Come in."

He entered and looked at me dumbfounded for a few seconds before saying, "Uh, is that you Gabe?"

"Yeah, its me."

"Whoa dude, what happened?"

"A lot happened, none of which I have any answers to."

He sat on the bed and said, "Can you please put some pants on or something? Its just a little hard to talk to you this way."

I gave a chuckle and said, "I don't think any of my pants fit me. Besides I am covered in fur, but if it makes you feel any better."

I proceeded to find the baggiest pair of jeans I could find and began to pull them up. But then I thought for a second, then turned them around so that my tail could be comfortable in the zipper hole. I sat on the other side of the bed and for a while we were both silent for a while. I didn't really know what to say, after all what do you say in my situation? Just then the words the fox told me appeared in my head again, "Don't be afraid of who you really are." I thought for a second about Kirk. About how I felt when I was around him, when I would stare at him in English class and how we interacted on a regular basis. Then I remembered his concern when he called me at the hospital, and I knew he felt the same way I did.

"Hey Kirk," I said.

"Yeah," he replied.

"Can I tell you something? Its something I have to get off my chest."

"Of course, you can tell me anything."

With that my tail gave a bit of a swish as I said, "Well, its kind of hard to explain. But, I have been having these thoughts. I know it seems kind of weird, but you know how I don't really try to pick up chicks like the rest of the guys?"

"Yeah. But I don't blame you, not a lot of hot girls in any of our classes."

"Well besides that, I think I know why I don't try. I noticed I have been thinking about you a lot lately."

"You have? That's funny, I have been thinking about you a lot too."

My gaze was caught in his eyes as he looked into my now emerald green eyes. I said, "Well, I really don't know any other way to say it, so I think I will just let it out."

I took a deep breath and put my hand on his face as I softly said to him, "I love you."

He was awestruck, but in that instance, one that seemed to go on forever, he put a hand on my face feeling the soft fur on my muzzle. The moment seemed to go on forever, my hand on his skin, his hand on my fur-covered muzzle. Then he said in a low voice in a tone that sent shivers up my spine, "I love you too."

With that, he pressed his lips to mine and we embraced in a kiss of pure affection. I don't think I felt so happy in my entire life. I was much more than half fox half human; I was wholly Gabe.