FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

He calls himself "Shichi", and says my job now is to support him. Like it was a choice.

He let me write this. Maybe it's his way of bragging. Don't really know what a fox has to brag about, but I guess I'm supposed to be some kind of accomplishment. He *made* me eat an entire jar of pickled sausage--brine and all, before picking up the pen, and now this paper smells like vinegar. I can't normally stand the stuff, but he just made me so goddamn hungry somehow.

He's always talking, about food. It makes me kinda drool, actually. He's not so bad when he's not thinking about complicated things...

"Hmm... but on that thought, what about girls, Shin?"

Stop that, damnit, and don't call me Shin. My name is Terry!

Whoa, wait. Don't go if you just read that--I'm honestly not crazy. He wrote that.

To be honest...

I think I'm possessed. Let's start again from the beginning... 'How I Got Into This Mess.'

* * *

When you go shopping for a pet, it's not exactly the thing you envision doing for yourself. Or, for that matter, at the age of 15. I mean, adults and all do that for little kids--pick them up a puppy one Christmas, and let it rampage and devour slippers and sofa cushions, right?

So why did my folks send me off to buy my own?

"That'll be six ninety-nine, miss." the cashier to my left said, as I passed some plastic bags of bedding stacked on a palette.

"Right..."

It was some kid's mom. She looked flustered. Maybe we were both in the same boat. I never really liked pets, even though everyone said I was a cat person, or a dog person, all the time. They're such a responsibility... they should be looking after themselves, like all of us, right?

I guess to some people, animals are just pretty objects to look at. There was a loud rustle from the box the man set aside as I brushed by him. Feeder mice, for snakes or something. Yuck.

Maybe it's because I'm quiet, and don't talk with kids at school. It's my first year of high school in a new town. What do they expect? I wasn't good at handling people my age from the start...

"Ah, whoops. I must have left my wallet in the van with my son. Better grab it fast. Can you wait?"

"Sure, I'll just suspend the transaction... and... done! Hurry--but be careful in the lot--traffic and all..."

"Right..."

My focus wandered. It wasn't really like I was looking for anything in particular. On reflection, that's probably how we ended up together. A really awful pairing. For me, at least. On the flip side, he got it pretty lucky.

'You really underscore the value of immortality, Shin,' he would say with sarcasm.

Immortality. Man's dream. All these animals in here shared one thing with all of us. No matter how superior we all think we are to them, we're all going to die one day, just like that. Poof. I guess that makes us pretty much equals, when that happens.

There's a saying somewhere about that, though I think. It had more to do with the rich and poor, and about how a king can end up wormbait or something, though... Shakespeare, I think, he always had a way with stupid meanderings like that. Anyhow... it was as I was rifling through the shelves thinking about where my sympathies should have lain, with the writer or his characters--that the voice first came into my head.

Well, from my perspective, I guess it was more like being talked to--by an enormous fox. His mouth didn't move, in fact, at first, I was sure he was someone's pet dog or something, and I was being talked to from elsewhere.

He was... is... how to say this... gorgeous. I know that sounds stupid, or gay or something, but I have no better word to describe his appearance. His fur is silky, shimmering, golden. I could almost swear he wasn't a fox at all, if not for the flat head, and the tapering phallus that's his muzzle. His tails aren't bushy at all, like a foxes should be--but rather, sleek and long like a girl's hair. And yeah... tails plural... waving with a mind of their own--ghostly, golden, with white tips.

They pointed at me, as he just sat there in the isle, amidst glass tanks with turtles and lizards. Stiffened and bristled, like snakes ready to bite.

"I said; can you see me? You look like you can, so respond. You can talk, can't you?"

"Who said that?!" I asked, panicked. I looked around ineffectually, thinking I was going crazy. His mouth didn't move. His red eyes just stared. But I could 'hear' the voice. It was almost like it was coming from a cardboard tube somewhere, projected into my head, echoing.

"I'm right here in front of you. Look! Do you see anyone else? Is it not entirely clear?"

"What the hell? You're a fox! How are you talking to me?"

"In a stern tone, with strained patience. Now, come here, and touch me. Or do you not want immortality? I can find another beneficiary, it's a big store, and people come in all the time. It might take awhile--mind you, but--"

"--wait." I interrupted. He was quite the big talker. "'Beneficiary?' 'Immortality'? What the hell are you supposed to BE, anyway?!"

"That is a good question."

I was sweating a bit now. Scared actually. He was a big animal, about the size of a German shepherd. Maybe it was just his fur that made him look big, or his feet-long tails that fanned the air--or the overpowering stench that smelled like burnt hair and crap, that rolled off him--the smell of fox musk. I don't know. But I stood there shaking.

"Well?!"

"I said it was a good question. I never said I had an answer." he replied, blithely.

I was about to raise my voice further, when the pair strode through the isle. It was a couple of girls, maybe three or four years older than me, in dress skirts. They were a couple of cute brunettes, I guess--I wasn't really big on girls at that point, to be fair--but they were talking to each other about some of the pets, and freaking out over all the creepy crawlies and scales and stuff. One of them walked right through the fox thing, and went on blithely ignorant of what she'd done, looking into a tank with a bearded dragon. When she noticed me, she broke from conversation with her friend.

"Can you stop staring, please? It's really creepy."

She must not have realized I was looking beside her, not at her. In fact, neither of them seemed to register the enormous varmint taking up the aisle. One of his tails swished, and passed right through the girl's shirt, like a ghost. She took no heed whatsoever. Not even a twitch or shudder.

"Ugh, would you just touch me already? I'm getting tired of standing here. I want to eat again--it's been ages."

"Can't anyone see you?" I asked.

"Ugh, are you asking me out on a date? No way, scrub! I'm not babysitting." the girl with the attitude said. "Let's get out of here, Gloria."

"Cin, cut the kid some slack, you ARE cuter than him." the taller girl with the straight hair said to her friend with the bun.

"Ugh, you're going to compare me to some brat? Come on!"

She brushed by her friend, back turned, and walked off in a huff. Her schoolmate turned to follow.

"As has been made apparent, I am only visible to individuals with a spiritual sensitivity. In this case--you. Now do you want immortality or not?"

To never have to die. I could live a thousand lifetimes, and become wiser and more capable than anyone else in the world. That's what occurred to me. But there were always strings attached to such deals.

"This isn't one of those stupid gimmicks where I get to be an old man on his deathbed for all of eternity, and I shrivel into dust when your curse is broken, is it?" I asked. Man, if I had only had a little bit more imagination than that, how fast would I have turned and ran then? I don't know. I was genuinely intrigued by the spirit animal at this point.

"Eternal youth is genuinely an overlooked detail! I am proud of your thoroughness! As a prospective host, who can see me so clearly, I'd expect no less. No, in fact--you will retain your current appearance, well--sans any... physical maturation you've left to undergo... and then that'll be that. No aging, no mental illness, no death. At least not by natural means. You can still get murdered, or in an accident--although I assure you that will be highly unlikely--with me as your companion."

I still wasn't sold, though. But I was close. Too close. Man, to punch myself from a few months ago, and say "Turn, run, don't look back, you idiot!"

But no. I was curious. Really really interested. So I asked him.

"What's the catch, fox? You're a fox, I guess? Or a fox's ghost?"

"A very, very old fox, I would assume, though that'd be by human standards. Of course, a fox that lives as long as a HUMAN is old by human standards... I in fact, am far older than any human. And you can be too."

And more silence. He stared at me. I could tell he'd become serious, because his body tensed, and his tails became very still.

"But you must become my body. That is, I have no body anymore, and I desire one again. I was exorcised, you see. Slain long, long ago by a powerful Buddhist monk. That was during a time when my kind were less than... welcome anymore."

"You said you didn't know what you were. Now you say you're a really old, dead animal's ghost. From Japan." I said cynically.

"An astute observation--that is to paraphrase, what I just said." He paused, and then realized I was still looking at him cynically. "It is good to keep you hungry for answers." he sputtered, half-assedly. It makes you interested in my offering them."

"Wow, you're a real one-way." I poked.

"In a matter of speaking--yes, I suppose I am a 'one-way'." he said sagely.

"So what if I... become your body? What will happen to me? My free will?"

"Nothing whatsoever. You'll be free to come and go as you please, talk with people, live your life... do what humans like to do."

"But?" I asked. There was no way it was that easy.

"But... I suppose you will enjoy things I enjoy a bit. And I'll enjoy things you do, as well. And I especially enjoy eating. Many things."

"You want... to eat."

"Tasty things. Many things. Human food. Good food. And maybe you will also like the things I like. And maybe not."

"And that's it? Just to satisfy your appetite, you'd give me eternal life?"

"Not needing to eat, as a spirit, one misses the pleasure of being ABLE to do so. You can sympathize, no? Just because I will not die does not mean I don't MISS being able to eat. Do you like not eating? Does it feel gooooood to starve? To feel yourself unfocused and anxious, because you've not had a niiiiice, filling meal?"

He started walking toward me, ears perked, tails swishing. His body said he was happy, but his eyes fixated on me, and his tone was dry and sarcastic. I sensed a hint of irateness. He was getting tired of this game.

"Alright, alright, no, I understand. Okay! Fine. If you want to eat, you can eat. But I get to decide what we eat, too!"

What a weird thing to say. I must have looked crazy, talking to an invisible listener... talking to myself. I'd caught the attention of a couple folks passing between aisles, briefly, and flushed with embarrassment.

"Superb. Now... touch the fox. Just a pet will do. With your hand. Or if you want, we could make it more physically interesting, and touch other places, with other things."

I slammed my hand down on his head. I could tell he was trying to get a rise out of me.

"And... done. We are one at last, my beautiful body."

Was it supposed to feel funny, being possessed? I didn't realize that was quite what it was, at the time. Nor did I understand the extent of the fox's hunger. His promises were obscure--omitting, and equivocal. I wonder if it felt good for him... to at last have a body once more.

"And it is time we EAT."

And that was when I knew it had been a mistake. A massive weight dropped into my stomach. An incredible hunger washed over me, and the scent of food--nearly everything in the store--flooded into my nostrils.

And when one of the store clerks found me, about half an hour later, stuffing my face with feeder mice from a box I'd picked up from next to a register, as I just lay there in a pile of cedar bedding from a bag I'd shred with my own fingertips...

_"We realized how hungry foxes can be, and how good food is ." _

I realized... what being a fox's body meant. And how much trouble it was going to get me into.