Emotinal Crisis. In the end we...
#3 of Emotinal Crisis
I guess ever since i told him that i was gay this outcome was inevitable, but at least this time he actualy tryed instead of just rejecting me. I can't say I'm compleatly at peace with it, but i can say that i said all that i wanted to say to him, and in the end...well, we both desided we didn't want to have to put up with eachother. He didn't want the responsibility of having a gay friend, or at least that's how i veiw it from a homophobes point of view, and i didn't want to have to deal with a homophobe as a friend eather. All in all, we sort of just drifted apart, but we sped it up by symply acnolaging that the relationship wouldn't work out, and this was all over tex message too. The gutless ass hole.
The only thing that makes this so...nonchelont is that i was able to tell him how much this hurt me before i broke it off. He didn't want it and i guess deep down nither did I. He kept saying that i would make better friends than him, but i think he was just saying that to get me off his back. What little trust i had in him faded at that point and i didn't want to have anything to do with him any more, so i sort of just...exploded and told him to never speek to me again, never talk of me as your friend, don't even think of me as an aquaintence, exetra. I apologised a few moments later after he told me i was being harsh and i reolised i don't want to have to look back at this moment and regret it. Then after that i made him promis to never even think or try to be my friend again. Why? Becasue i don't want to feel the pain of rejection from him any more, i don't want to have to toucher myself every damn month to symply keep a friend i don't trust any more. He promised and i know that sort of hurt him, to have someone make you promis to not be thier friend is sort of insulting, but even if he tryed, i wouldn't trust him and he would try to say that this isn't working out and make it seem like it's my falt. That's always how it sounded with him to, like it was my falt for being what i am, and in our argument of why he souldn't break the freindship we had i said something like "you just need to truck through this untill you can finoly exsept that i am a living, breathing, feeling, human being." he stopped texting me after that and i asked him if he even saw me as a human being. i would have expected him to say something right away, that's when i knew the relationship wasn't worth fighting for, becasue deep down he really dosn't think gays are human beings. He may not see it, but i can, that's one of his bad qualities that made him unique. Always oblivious, even to himself. I could pick out a girl that wanted him from a mile away and all he could think about was how she acted like great friend to him.
Anyway, just wanted to tell you how it all ended and i will be posting a new story soon. I also didn't want you guys to think i was dead so i desided to update this. i would really like some words of encouragement, despite how little i care about this situation, i still do, and it would be great if i just got some words of advice. Did i do the right thing, or...did i handle this the wrong way...anyway please, if anything just send me words of encouragement.