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Chapter Four - For The First Time

LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!!!

Sadly I'm still procrastinating writing chapter 5, so hopefully I'll get back to that quickly.

 

My mind slowly found it's way from sub consciousness back to reality. My eyes opened slowly, only to find Reenin not but a foot away, eyes wide open, waiting for me to wake up.

"What the hell?" I shouted, jumping back. "What's the big idea?"

"Nothing, I was just waiting for you to wake up. Is there a problem with that?"

"Fuck yes there's a problem with that, you scared the shit out of me!"

"Well, I'm sorry," He said, ears folded over, "I jut was worried about you in case you died over the night."

My heart slowed back to it's normal pace and I retracted my claws. "Well, just don't do that again or I'll gut you ok?"

"Are you always this cranky when you wake up?" He said, tilting his head as I to look at me differently.

"Only when someone is right in front of my face the second I wake up!" By now I was almost done with his, ignorance, or whatever it was in his brain causing him to act like this.

"Well, are you hungry or thirsty or anything?" he asked, starting towards the exit of the den.

"Sure, whatever, anything to get out of this mistake you call a home." I said. Reenin drew back, almost seeming to be hurt by what I said. It's not like I hated the place, it was actually quite nice. I just didn't want him to know I thought so.

When we got outside, it was obvious the rain clouds had left behind a nice day, still smelling slightly of fresh rain. Looking around my surroundings, I saw a mother giving baths to her pups, a couple of slightly older pups playfully wrestling nearby, and an older mated pair of wolves overlooking them, nuzzling each other slightly. All this cute happy bullshit was making me sick.

"So, where's the water." I said quickly, trying to sound as emotionless as possible.

"Over this way." He said, motioning to the left into the woods with his head. He lightly trotted forwards as I followed behind him.

"So, what happened to you old pack?" He said, trying to strike up a conversation.

"Never had one, never will. I was abandoned and had to fight to survive. I hope you weren't implying I become a part of your pack are you?" I said sharply.

"Well, I just kind of figured..."

"Well you figured wrong. How much further we got?" I said, hiding the twinges of pain in my shoulder.

"It's just up here." He said quietly, ducking his head. I almost felt bad for the guy, but I quickly shook that feeling. Feelings are for the weak, and the weak get killed for the stronger survivors. No exceptions. I heard the trickle of the stream moments before it came into view. Finally, something to distract me from this awkward conversation. I tried to not look too satisfied from the drink even though it was much needed. A sound interrupted me from continuing my drink. It was sharp and high pitched. Focusing now on the sound it came again.

"Oh my god that sounds like one of our newborn pups!" Reenin said, stiff as a board.

"Yea, so?" Like I said, the weak get killed to help the strong survive. No exceptions.

He bolted off to the left, tarring through the woods.

"Wait! Damn it." Not really knowing the way back my only option was to follow him. Fighting through the pain I bounded after him. Lucky for me I didn't have to go too far. I came up behind Reenin, ducked down, growling like crazy at a hyena with the small wolf pup between them, a gash down his hind leg. He whimpered and hobbled back behind Reenin, tail between his legs.

"Reenin, how nice. I was just getting ready for dinner and was just about to invite you!" The hyena said sadistically.

"I'll accept when hell freezes over and fire rains from the sky." Reenin said between snarls.

"No need to be rash, I was only trying to be polite."

"Get the fuck out of our territory before I turn you into a scavengers feast."

"Fine, I see I'm not wanted. Hope to see you around sometime." With that the hyena scampered off into the forest and out of sight.

"Sorry Reenin..." The small pup said, still cowering in shame behind Reenin's legs.

"You can't just run off like that, you'll get killed!" Reenin said, somehow still with a sense of caring muddled in with slight aggravation. The pup just lowered his head even more as we headed back to the dens. I didn't understand, that pup should have been killed; he was weak and should have died. Why would Reenin risk his life for something as small as that pup? As we walked back towards the dens into the open plain I saw something I had been missing my whole life. The pack was, watching out for each other. Even I couldn't ignore the vast amount of trust and love shared between the bonds of the pack. I felt my chest twinge a little so I threw the thoughts out of my mind and the feeling went away. And thank the gods too; it felt like I was going to vomit or something. Soon I'd leave this place though, tonight to be more specific.

 

The rest of the day went by with relative ease. Reenin never left my side and I kept feeling sick or something. Dusk was rapidly approaching and I had to be ready when it came.

"Leandra, I'm getting sort of tired, shall we call it a night?" He asked.

"Sure, whatever warden, take me to my cell!" I said sarcastically. Gods I couldn't wait to leave this place and be back on my own. Still, I had to stifle any hints of my plan or he'd never sleep a blink without an eye on me. We found our way back to the cave as the sun hid behind the ground to come back out another day. I laid down at my usual spot, closing my eyes and pretending as best I could to be asleep. Occasionally I'd slyly check to see if he was still awake, and of course he was. It took him almost an hour before he finally laid his head down and drifted off. Freaking finally. I quietly stood up and shuffled around him, trying to make as little sound with my pads as possible. After I got around him I snuck out of the den and scampered to the tree line before I heard someone running out of a den. Damn it Reenin, what's wrong with that wolf. I quickly dropped down and watched him dash over to his father's den and bring him out. I could just barley make out what they were saying.

"Dad she left, she ran off! Why would she do that! We were nice to her weren't we? Was it something I did?" Reenin said, panting after he finished.

"Perhaps, my son, she couldn't learn to trust someone and couldn't learn to live with those who cared about her. It wasn't anything you did, it's just how she is." Baldur said sincerely.

"But can't we follow her scent and bring her back?" Reenin said hopefully.

"There are some things you may not be able to change about some people. Perhaps Leandra will never feel comfortable about being cared about. Just because you care for her doesn't mean we should hold her against her will." Baldur said.

Damn right I thought.

"Oh, ok dad." Reenin said, sulking his way back to his den. At least they weren't going to pursue me. I gave it about three minutes before I took off into the night. But there was a feeling I couldn't shake, like a type of... Emptiness.

"Who needs them anyways?" I said to myself as I clambered up a small hill. "I'm perfectly happy alone."

Wait a second; I've never really been all too happy, just sort of glad to still be alive. My mind went back to the night before I was attacked. Cold, alone, and depressed. I stopped walking and looked back where I had just came from. My thoughts turned to how Reenin would always be right in my face when I'd wake up, and how the pups were playing around, and even when Reenin had risked his life to save a small pup. The queasy feeling returned to my chest, but it wasn't really in my stomach. Maybe, just maybe, it was nervousness or fright. Perhaps it was Baldur was talking about, me not knowing what care or love was, for I'd never experienced it before. No, it couldn't be. I resumed walking, then stopped again. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to stay. What am I even talking about? I resumed walking again only to stop once more.

Damn it.