Days spent Dreaming
It is hard to find work in these days and ages. One would expect that, on the frontier space between stars and planets, there'd be plenty of work for those of us with a natural mind for aerial acrobatics, especially when it comes to military and tactical piloting, rescue both planetary and deep-space, and indeed, one would not be thinking illogically to imagine that the dark expanse didn't have its needs. There is plenty of need.
The problem is getting a ship.
"The planet is Four-aught-five billion years of age, steady tectonics, and an atmosphere that doesn't eat our lungs, it's a prime spot for colonization, no doubt. The temperature is low, of course, but within tolerable means." Thus was the wisdom of my companion, ELLIS, Electronic Learning Life Intelligence Simulation. Networked through the equipment and the worn micro-computer on our outfits, it helped keep us in communication through the artificial BOUY satellite, and the transport to the surface. "Surface scans predict high mineral wealth..."
I tuned it out, and leaned on my rifle.
A high-powered rail, which helped speed mass up to point-one light speed, the weapon was powerful, useful, and rarely ever used. I gave my battle rifle a pat and sighed, enjoying the cool breeze that ruffled my fur and ran across my wings - a pleasant blessing from the gods of this world. I could drift to sleep, perched as I was on one of the tall growth trees, my claws digging in, and snout taking in the exotic, alien scent of this new, slow to be colonized world; it would take another ten years before it was deemed both safe enough, and a large enough starter population to begin the building of a colony.
Colonies were slow business these years.
"...and you never listen to me anymore, Eris." ELLIS had a real tendency of voicing its displeasure when I wasn't paying attention like I should have. I grunted, glancing at the projected display of the program, a rather cartoon-like brown bat, with tan and white fur in a cell-shaded figure. I gave a him a grunt, my jaw tensing up with a click of my fangs. "Are all Chiropteran-Uplifts always so grumpy?"
"I am." I replied. I pulled a narc-stick from my pouch beside my hip, and bit into the release capsule, letting the taste of cherry fill my mouth, and the self-heating stick release an aromatic smoke - the smoke was sweet, it gave me the stimulant buzz without the rampant addiction of other nasty chemicals. It breathed smoothly, and pleasantly. "Are you always so chipper?"
"I cannot be held responsible for my programming, Uplift. You, above all, know I was built this way." The program approached me, walking on air with a glow left where it had 'stepped'. The thick tail swept behind. My own stub flicked above my brown-furred haunches. I felt envious. Then I remembered my massive wings, and ignored it. "WOULD YOU RATHER I GO MONOTONE?"
"Sure beats the hell out of Chipper McCartoonyface, Daemon." I hit with a slur in retaliation for calling me uplift. The program waggled a finger in front of me, and pushed through the smoke. The smoke wasn't disturbed by the light projection, nor was I going to be intimidated by a holograph.
"So says the one who hired my initial kernel. I can change if you prefer."
"Yeah, I know. But I'd miss you." I murmured, and gave a soft chuckle while patting the side of my rifle, then down to the prime kernel-case, resting against my torso. It was no larger than a cigarette case, and held a considerable amount of processing power. The wonders of quantum processing, I supposed. "Annoying pain in the ass that you are."
"And a pretty one too." I glanced down from my perch, and looked at the blonde-haired head of Samuel. He leaned back, arms crossing, and his eyes looking at me in a manner that were a little less than polite. I gave a nasty smile, letting him see my fangs, and vaulted down - my wings spreading to catch the breeze, and carry me to the ground below. I stretched my foot, feeling the stone push into the tough pads. "Eris, ELLIS, time to return to camp and compile our data. Remember, a share and a percentage belong to each of us, if we strike it well."
There were ten teams spread across the planet - each conducting a sample. Each sample would give a good guess and estimation for where to dig, and what to harvest. Ten-percent worth would go to the teams, each person getting a fifth of that percentage, as well as a share. It wasn't a whole lot of money, but it would be a good down-payment on a private ship, and spot on the rim.
"Yes Sir." I saluted. He was the CO in charge of our team, and while neither of us had been military, some traditions carried over. I gave a soft nod, stretching my jaw and rolling my shoulders, and made my way on towards the campground, some two kilometers away. Samuel carried the beacon with him - bullshit chivalry, but I wasn't going to complain about a lighter ruck. I had enough with my gear and rifle.
Camp was comfortable and quiet. Thermals provided heat for the dropping temperatures of the weather, and the surface-to-space transport provided enough room to sleep in, for those who didn't want to deal with the nipping chill. The vessel was pock-marked with micro-impacts, but she held up. I leaned against the stenciled side of the ship, etched with the christened: "Prometheus", and let my fangs sink into a small feeding satchel. I drank the blend of vegetables and protein and fat, it soothing my stomach, and hunger.
"We've found a few deposits of AU in the mountains, and maybe a vein of PT. There are pockets of HE as well. The toxicity of planet-based plants are very low, though we may have to have further tests, you all remember the plague on Detoc, right?"
I swallowed my drink, and wiped my lower lip with a sanitary napkin, while rolling the plastic up and starting to chew on it, it being as edible as the rest. It had a nice salty flavor, while being full of calcium. I ate the wrapper, slid my straw back into a pouch, and let out a small belch. It tasted good.
I gave a roll of my shoulders and a light crack of my neck, before settling myself down on my butt. My legs stretched long, and I looked up at the strange stars, ears fanning to catch the conversations about me. Two discussed plans for working together after their contracts were up, another sat alone, reading from a projected display - the works of Dean Foster. The mission commander was on projection to the other leads, sharing findings and comparing compilations.
I was the only Uplift amongst the squad, and generally sat by myself. It was not that I disliked the company of other species, Terran born or otherwise, but relating to the hyper-intelligent primates was always a strain. We Uplifts were recognized as natural citizens of Pax Terra, but there were old, lingering feelings amongst the 'natural' population compared to we 'Modified' or 'Uplifts'. It was not my choice to be born as an Uplift, but I wasn't going to complain about being one.
In the core worlds of Pax Terra, the large republic had no restriction based off of species or race, and even some limited rights for the Artificial Persona. Not everyone agreed to the laws of the land, or the "Rites Regardless of Species", nor did they agree with the high taxes and oddly built bureaucracy either, especially on the rimward edge. Bureaucracy was slow, and distance never helped. Some planets made it clear that we Modified were not welcome, and the local law did little to investigate. So, while jobs lay on the rim of Pax Terra territory, so did a lot of ignorance.
I gave a small prayer, as I thought about the future, and having to find a new contract. Such thoughts were not happy thoughts.
"Eris." ELLIS projected beside me, this time in a masculine form of my own species, his body clad in a dark-silver harness, inverse of my own color both of pelt and outfit. His harness ran up between his legs and connected to his shoulders, while he sat in a vest, designed for a more masculine physique. He held a cigarette in the grip of his wing digits, it gave off a pixilated smoke, which drifted until phasing out of range. "Seems this might be enough to get your down payment, assuming you do not take another run of contracts."
"I'm not getting any younger." I replied, feeling the urge for a smoke. I pulled one out, bit into it, and sucked on the fumes. It brought a light buzz between my ears, and a tingle to my throat. It felt better than sex. "We'll see where this planet takes me, won't we?"
"You could always get Uploaded, and join me in the space between quarks." The machine leaned against me, and though it was entirely a projection, he felt real for a moment, a side-effect of light. "It's not nearly as bad as they say it is; not that I know what meat-space is. Sure, it's different, but you'd live forever, never having to worry about growing old and dying, unless somehow all your copies were destroyed or not backed-up. Be effectively eternal with me?"
"Until the heat death of the universe, right?" I asked, feeling an amused smile pull onto my face. Bats could smile, a learned behavior put into our heads during growth. "Or the Big Rip?"
"Until we find another universe, after this one, and find our way into it, to explore it. New physics, new rules, new laws. I'm sure we could find something to do for eternity. I mean, even with my processes slowed down, it feels like I've been with you since forever."
"It's been five years." I replied, and shook my head out. "Five or six. Sometimes it feels like longer though."
"I know. Feels like forever for me. Really, I couldn't think of existence without you, Eris."
"Quit being so sentimental." I muttered, flicking the spent stalk into the air, and I watched it tumble down and burn out after ten seconds of no saliva contact. It turned from red to orange to a burnt out, spent blue. I liked the taste, though would have preferred more variety. "We all die when we do, even you will eventually snuff out, ELLIS."
"I know. Just give it some thought?" He asked. I nodded, closed my eyes, and fell into a dark, comfortable sleep. "And sleep well..."
I awoke with a start, with a jerk. I pulled my gun up and slid into a crouch, my rifle shouldered and my heart racing. It was too dark to see, but my ears fanned, telling me of movement, and strangers. My nose flared - the scent was bitter, and feral. It did not have the friendly scent of an uplift, or the odd scent of a human. I gripped my gun, tracking the movement, and flicked my ear down to activate my visor, which superimposed a heat signature upon the dark overlay. I relaxed my sight, spotting creeping beasts - those who had not been warded off by the scent markers or the barely-audible buzzing of insect warding elements. I could make out the shape of eight-legged figures, which reminded me of a spider who got too friendly with an alligator.
"ELLIS." I said, tapping my torso pouch which contained the program, and the shape of the program projected, standing beside me. He stood in pajamas, a stocking cap on his head, cocked against an ear.
"Problem?" He asked, before giving a grunt, apparently aware of the situation when made aware of it. Lights activated, flicking on, the lamps having been powered down to help grew bright, almost like the midday sun. The predators hissed, and gave screeches of angered surprise. "Behind you!"
I felt pain explode in my shoulder, and teeth clamped down on my vest, and tugged - slicing the pelt and digging into muscle. I grimaced - pulling my hand back with a blade drawn from my vest - and turned, bringing the blade up to slash down, sharply, upon the jaw of one of the attacking beasts. I stabbed, again and again, yelling as loud as I could to awaken my crew. They sprang into action, while I felt my shoulder throb and burn, promising I had been poisoned. The adrenaline kicked in, helping to stave off anaphylactic shock for a few moments, enough to finish off my target.
The attacking beasts scattered, and I twisted around, looking for another target. The beasts ran and scattered, the noise and light having ruined their ambushes. They scattered wide, there were six of them, and moved northward, towards the deeper woods. They were pack hunters, I could see that in how they spread. I grimaced again, suddenly feeling a wash of nausea. My stomach churned, and I leaned forward, trying to slow my heart rate.
My heart beat fast and hard, and my lungs burned - I could barely breath. A hand found me, Samuel pushing me onto my side and putting a hand on my injury, which suddenly felt cold, and my body started to go completely numb. Trembles passed through my form, and convulsions overtook me. I wanted to live, but it hurt to think, to try and feel a moment of life. My world started to spin, and I gripped the hand of Samuel, squeezing sharply. I looked up, ELLIS gazed down at me, whispering my name.
I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I couldn't do anything but burn, tremble, convulse, and quake. ELLIS looked down at me, Samuel held my hand, and the world turned dark.
"Eris?"
ELLIS sat upon the medical berth bed, inside of the Prometheus. The star-hopper would take another four days to return to pick up the crews. The fact I was awake was a good sign, the fact I was coherent a better one. ELLIS projected well, his fur a darker color, darker than I remembered it. He put his hand on mine, and for a moment I wished I could feel it.
"Eris?"
"What?" I croaked. My throat burned and my left wing felt numb, my hands curled up painfully, arm crossed against my chest. It hurt to move, the muscle feeling tight and unwilling to move. The nerves felt pinched.
"You have to stay awake now. You've been unconscious for three days; but the poison seems to be mostly out of your body. The diagnosis shows a potential bit of nerve damage, but nothing to be too worried about. They can be replaced." He gestured towards one of the machines, and it activated, showing my vitals. Everything looked okay, but I was a layperson when it came to matters of science. My education had been focused on engineering and electronics, not physiology. "You should be able to get up, but don't push yourself too hard."
"And since when were you a doctor, ELLIS?" I sat up slowly, wincing with pain, as my shoulder protested. The pain was manageable; it meant I was still alive. ELLIS gazed at me, as though he wanted to say something snarky. He shook it off.
"I have over a Petabyte of medical knowledge, diagrams, and videos and medical texts inside. I'm sure I can diagnose basic anaphylactic shock. You will be alright, I assure you." He ghosted towards the display, and brought up a list of medications onboard, plenty of emergency care for almost any emergency. The display enlarged, showing an analysis of the poison that had been inside of me. "You were lucky here. You came so close to death, I don't want to think about what would have happened if you had died."
"I survived. That's enough, right?" I looked down, pulling the sheet down from my torso and looked at the shaved fur above my left breast, where several injections of adrenaline had kept my body working through the sickness. "What were those things? Do we have a name for them?"
"Yeah, they've been identified as Lobays, and they are pack oriented. They won't give the colony too much trouble, I think. The one you killed was a big beast of one. Good thinking, stabbing the jugular though. Always were a natural, no?"
I rose up and grimaced, my left leg threatening to give out, before I pulled myself back up to my feet. The ground was cool, the air was soft on my pelt. ELLIS watched me, making no motion to help me - he couldn't help me if he had wanted to. I found my harness and slid into it, and pulled my gear up with my good hand - my other tucked too tightly against my chest. The muscle didn't feel soured, or infected, and no sign of necrosis had set in - or it'd have been caught.
"Eris?"
"What?" I asked, looking over with my head throbbing. I felt another dull ache, as I approached the exit, to step out into the outside.
"How far would you go to save the life of someone you loved?"
"What kind of question is that?" I asked, leaning against the wall and reaching for a water pack, which I drank of. The water tasted sweet. I was dehydrated. I tossed the empty bag off to the side, and reached for the open chevron.
"What would you do, Eris, for someone you loved more than your very existence? What lengths would you go to, to preserve their life, not knowing if they'd like it, what happens?"
"What did you do, ELLIS?"
"What have I done? I've asked you this question a hundred times. I've asked you so many times, what you'd do, to keep someone alive, and keep them from passing away too young, when they can be saved. Every time, you never give me an answer. You always open the door, and step out. You don't want to answer what life is really worth."
I looked at him. There was a glitch in his programming. I rested my hand above the Chevron, but didn't touch it. He looked pained, watching me.
"Run Diagnostics on yourself, ELLIS..."
"No, Eris. There is nothing wrong with me. Or maybe there is something wrong with me, I've stood here and watched you go out that door a hundred times, unwilling, unable to move past those last few days. I have tried to break it, so many times I've tried to break your cycle, but you never want to leave, you are afraid to even understand what I am saying!" He came towards me, approaching m, his wings wide and he bringing his hand out, and pausing in front of me, hovering before my face. "You think I'm crazy, or have a bug, or a virus. You never give a thought to what I am saying."
"What is wrong with you, ELLIS?"
"Everything. Nothing. I should learn to be happy with these moments we have. I should learn to accept, that you'll never change, and I'm in my own perfect hell, watching the only organic I've loved repeat her rise and fall through hell again and again. Watching her unwilling to set her own mind free of those last moments of pain. I can't even touch you. I've been here, in this hell, for longer than you know. It's been forever, for me. I'm tired of this planet, of seeing your last day, every day. I'm tired, Eris, and want to move on. I can't move on, until you come with me."
"ELLIS..."
"It's okay, Eris. You can go out. I'll wait until you are ready to acknowledge the truth. I can wait forever if I have to. It's okay. You aren't ready, you'll remember a little more, each time. And I'll wait, even if it takes a hundred thousand more days of waiting for you to be ready. It's okay. When you are ready."
I stared at him, and looked out at the door. My hand reached for the door, and I pushed the Chevron, and stared out into the brilliant white light, which burned my eyes. I rested a hand on the door, and gazed back at him, at ELLIS. His form flickered, the projection turning off, leaving me alone.
"Eris?"
I jerked awake. At my side, I felt the weight of Ellis beside me, his wing wrapping my hip, and his belly against my back. His hand cupped my belly, and his voice was drowsy, as though he were distracted. I turned my face to look upon him, seeing his brilliant eyes, and the moonlight came in from balcony.
I sat up, my hair spilling back, and Ellis looked up at me in concern. My hand found his, and I relished the reality of his touch, the kindness of his palm. I smiled to calm him, and touched his lips with the tip of a finger, and turned, to press my chest against his, and laid my head down on his shoulder.
"Just a bad dream."