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After over a year separated, Lyall has met My Mom kept her arms around me as one of her hands slowly stroked my head. She brought her face to the back of my neck, and I could feel her breathing into my feathers. She brought one of her hands under me and began to lift. Not wanting to hurt her, I balled up my talons and held them close to my body. Her arm held me from underneath with her hand resting on my breast. Her other arm held me gently against her chest. As she lifted me off the table, I leaned into her.

"You're lighter than the day you were born," she said, holding back tears.

Elizabeth looked slightly nervous, "Mrs. William's, why don't we take Lyall to the front sitting area?"

Mom nodded and began to walk to the door. We walked down a short hallway before we reached a small room. The room contained a desk and a few armchairs around a small table. Mom carefully sat on one of the chairs and lowered me to her lap. Before she could set me down, Elizabeth placed a thick towel on her legs. I brought my talons down onto the towel, keeping my claws from touching her thin pants.

She stroked my neck softly, saying, "It's good to know you are okay."

Never in my life had I wanted to say a few words more than I did at that moment. Instead of making any sound, I closed my eyes and leaned into her hand. I tried to forget everything I had been through and ignore that I was covered in feathers, but it didn't change anything. My fantasy was ruined when her hand graced my hard beak as she ran her hand from it to the top of my head. I wanted to pull my face away, but I knew it was comforting for her.

In the distance, a door could be heard closing with a loud thunk. The pattering of shoes against the tile floor grew closer until the sound was drowned out by Alex's voice. "Liz, where's Lyall? Did you-" She was interrupted by Elizabeth, who held up a hand and gestured to my mother and I.

Alex's face had changed since I last saw her. White feathers encroached on her cheeks and down to her neck. Once she spotted me, she let out a small sigh of relief. Mom looked up at her and smiled.

"Hello there," she said, bringing her hand to rest on my back. "I'm Lyall's mother, and you must be..."

"I'm Alex. I've been... helping Lyall since he arrived," Alex said hesitantly. "He's been a great client, probably the easiest we have had."

Mom chuckled, "He's a good kid." She rubbed my beak between her fingers. "You know, I was just telling him; he feels lighter than he was as a baby. I'm sure you are a healthy weight now, though."

Elizabeth leaned against the wall, "He's as healthy as a young hawk can be. Even his wing should fully recover."

"He grew up on a cul-de-sac. I figured you would still have remembered my rules. You aren't to be playing in the roads, young man." She playfully poked my beak. She reached into her pocket and removed a cell phone. "Would you mind getting a picture of us?" she asked Alex.

"Oh, yeah, I can do that," Alex said, reaching for the phone. Mom held her hand onto my back and smiled at the camera. After a few seconds of Alex fiddling with the device, she returned it to Mom.

"Thank you! I can finally have a recent photo of Lyall to use. I was still using his graduation picture." She scrolled through the images and held the phone up to Alex. "This was a year before his change when he graduated from high school." She brought the phone down and held it so I could see. The old school gymnasium was in the picture, and in the middle was a young man wearing a blue cap and gown. The image was just clear enough to read the paper he was holding. In a fancy, bold font was written 'Lyall Williams.'

I stared, confused at the image. Although I remembered that moment and location, the man in the photo was unfamiliar. She continued to scroll through images, and the same story played out. I could remember all of these moments, but the man standing in my place was someone I did not recognize. I tried to recall my hair color. Was it brown? Or was it blonde? Maybe it was black? I was shorter than the man in the image, right? Or was I taller?

She kept scrolling into newer images, some even having Kole. I was in disbelief at this imposter until she stopped at a picture of the same man lying on our living room couch. From his rear was the fan of rusty red feathers, and his eyes were a muted golden brown. There was no way it could not have been me, but the bigger question remained: Why couldn't I remember what I looked like?

Mom was content showing Alex the photos. Alex was just as excited to see my old self. I was still trying to remember my hair color, and I could only remember the brown feathers. Every memory I thought of, I pictured the feathered wings in place of my arms.

"It doesn't surprise me he's been easy for y'all. He's always been a well-behaved boy," Mom said proudly.

"I'm sure his chicks know better than to play in the road," Alex said, laughing.

"I'm sure all the ladies out there learned it from their parents. I'm sure he's just the chick magnet out there," Mom said sarcastically.

"I'm sure grandma can teach them a thing or two as well," Alex joked.

Mom stopped and sat quietly for a moment. She looked forward and then slowly to me. She looked more confused than anything else. Finally, she cracked a smile and said, "Yeah, she'll teach them." While still looking at me, she started to stroke my head again. She briefly closed her eyes and continued smiling.

"When can he come home?" Mom asked, looking at Elizabeth.

"Well, he still has a little more to go with that bandage, then we will work on getting him flying again. He'll be ready to be released after that," Elizabeth replied. "He hasn't hunted for himself in a while, but we will get him back on his feet."

Mom cocked her head slightly, her smile fading. "Released? As in, back out there?"

"There isn't much reason to send him up to the aviary. His wing has healed surprisingly well, and he'll be perfectly capable of caring for himself in his natural habitat," Elizabeth said with confidence.

"We're going to just let him out to fend for himself again?" Mom asked worriedly. "It can't be safe for him out there. He'll get hurt again!"

Elizabeth placed a hand on Mom's shoulder, "Lyall will take care of himself. He's done well out on his own before. He just had an accident. If he decides he doesn't want to be released back into the wild, the sanctuary is always an option."

Mom looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Lyall, you tell them if that's what you want." She turned from me to Elizabeth, "You make sure he's certain about his choice. He's a shy boy and doesn't always tell you what he really wants the first time." Mom leaned down and kissed my head before scratching my neck feathers.

I closed my eyes and rested my head. Before I knew it, I had drifted off to sleep in her arms.

I was awoken by her arm jostling me. I slowly opened my eyes to see I was back in the main room I had been living in. Mom was placing me in one of the cages when I looked out the window to see the sun setting. It was late in the day and everyone was preparing to leave.

"I'll be back for you, Lyall. Take care of yourself, okay?" She whispered. She stood up and followed Elizabeth outside.

Once Mom had left, Alex stepped into the room and put a hand in my open cage. "Your Mom is the sweetest. She had you sleeping like a little kitten on her lap." Alex smiled before brushing the feathers on her face. "I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. Liz wanted me to stay home until she figured out what to do with you. She was going to see if her falconer friend could care for you, but even now, she thinks it would be best to have her friend help get you flying again." Alex sighed, "She's also worried it may help or even worsen the hawk's mind. She wants to give it room, but worries that hunting might be too much."

Alex put her hands in her pockets and leaned against the table. Her neck feathers rose away from her skin. "I'm sorry about the other night. I've had a lot going on and... I lost control. But I think I've come to terms with what I'll be. Your Mom called you her handsome little hawk. Maybe someone will call me a beautiful owl." Alex said playfully, "I'm just not ready for it. But, I guess I also won't ever be ready for it. I'm sure you know what I mean."

I nodded my head in agreement.

"Well, I've got to get home. We have an early morning tomorrow. X-rays again this week. Might be one of your last until your wing is free again." She happily chirped.

Alex left the cage door open when she left. I was left alone in the dark lab with the humming of the equipment making my eyes heavy. I wanted to sleep, but the thought of the photos kept nagging at me. Even hours later, I still could not remember what my face looked like. With every memory, I couldn't help but imagine my new avian body. Had I not remembered the day my eyes changed, my tail grew, or my wings formed, I would have always thought I was a hawk. It scared me to know that not all of my memories were complete. What else had I forgotten? Who had I forgotten? What memories were still real?

I tried to ignore these thoughts, but I was only given a rest when I felt mentally exhausted and passed out in my cage. I had no dreams that night. I was just asleep and suddenly awake.

My morning routine was the same as usual. Alex weighed me, fed me, and then worked on paperwork and caring for the animals in the other rooms. While the workload wasn't overly complex, I couldn't tell how much she had to do in the other room. She explained that they wanted to keep me separated in the quarantine lab since I was a special case. Although lonely, I guess it was much better than being lumped in with all the natural animals. One tiny bit of dignity when I was being fed frozen mice from a pouch.

As Alex worked on her tedious tasks, I was left waiting, still stuck on the same table as usual with no way to the ground. But watching Alex, she seemed happy. I don't know what could have changed in those few days, but maybe she had accepted her situation. Or, perhaps she was in a different state of denial. Either way, she seemed like she was less stressed. She worked with headphones in, checking information on papers and occasionally writing more onto them. While I never had a chance to hold a job before changing, she seemed content with hers.

I tried to entertain myself, but with nothing and nowhere to go, I was stuck standing in the same four-foot by eight-foot space, waiting for something to happen. I wanted to visit my friends again, return to the house, and be around Rylie, Nash, and the others. I tried to forget the photos and return to where I could remember the past.

Elizabeth walked in carrying a cage covered in a blanket, "Al, can you help me with this?" She lifted the cage, and I could hear something inside move. Without a word, Alex put her headphones down and followed Elizabeth out of the room. It was rare that I was able to see a hint of other animals being brought in. Off in the distance, I could hear what was in the cage. The sounds were similar to my own, to sounds I had heard. It was unmistakably a hawk, and it was very obviously unwell.

Not long after the screeches started, Alex returned to the room with her hands over her ears. She paced around the room and kept her head low. She looked over at me and quickly ran to the bin on the wall and removed the leather glove. Holding her arm to me, she whispered, "Liz says you shouldn't go back, but I can't deal with this right now." I stepped onto her arm, and she hurriedly carried me to the car. She seemed stressed about the hawk, which was a big contrast to how she was just minutes before.

We arrived at the Bird House, and Alex led me in on her arm. Inside, Nash, Rylie, and Dan were sitting around the couch. No one seemed to have changed since the last time I was there, but as I had learned, that wasn't always the case at first glance. Dan perked up when he saw me, immediately calling for me.

"Lyall! You're back so soon?" He said with playful sarcasm, "I thought you went full-bird on us?"

"Dan!" Nash snapped. "That's not how you greet someone."

"Hey, Alex," Rylie said, ignoring the other two. "I thought Liz didn't-"

"She doesn't, but I needed to leave the office. I think Lyall would be better off here, given what's happening." Alex interrupted Rylie, who gave a half nod.

"I'll ask you later then." Rylie winked at Alex before returning to Nash and Daniel. "You two were supposed to clean up Matt's room yesterday."

"Alright, alright," Nash said, groaning as he stood up from the chair. He waved for Dan to accompany him as he started up the staircase with Dan in tow.

"I swear, those two..." Rylie joked with Alex. "I think Dan may be rubbing off on Nash a little, but at least he's doing better."

"Have you heard from him yet?"

"I heard he made it and was getting settled in, but not directly from him yet. I'm sure he's doing fine, though." Rylie assured Alex. Rylie's eyes lit up, and she whipped to face me, "I heard you got to see your Mom again! Is she doing well? The last I had seen here was when she came to pick up your belongings, at least the stuff she wouldn't let us keep." Rylie laughed, "Don't worry, just keepsakes from our little hawk."

I tried to smile but instead gave a nod. I adjusted my feet on the couch, ensuring my talons weren't digging into the fabric. Seeing a clear path to Nash's spot on the sofa, I hopped onto the arm and then the seat. The seat was still warm when I laid down, resting my feet.

"Lyall, you lazy bird. He just spent all yesterday being babied by his mother at the clinic." Alex said as she sat opposite me. "Dunno how you'll go back after being pampered like you are."

Rylie giggled, "Nah, we'll just give him a little nesting box on the porch. He can bring his lady friend there to live in luxury."

I gave Rylie a stare and bobbed my head backward in a circular motion. Both Alex and Rylie laughed in response. As much as I enjoyed being around humans again, I felt both nervous and a little joyful at the thought of returning to the field.

I hadn't felt right since I returned to a human-ish life. I know it was a big adjustment, but I could feel the nervousness and anxiety creeping back. I felt more at odds with the hawk than I had felt in a long time. Out in the wild, I felt at peace with it, like we were one mind together. But now, I was fighting it constantly for control and seemingly forgetting simple things. While living outdoors had its stress, it was nothing compared to what I was dealing with now.

"Where's Shelby at?" Alex asked, interrupting my train of thought, "I wanted to ask her how she cleaned her back feathers."

"She's out with some friends, but I could always give you a few pointers." Rylie leaned back in her chair, propping her talons on the table.

Hearing them talk about trying to clean their hard-to-reach feathers was funny. I guess from my perspective, it was easy to turn my head around to preen. Having the flexibility of my neck made self-care so much easier, and when my feathers got too much of something on them, be it mud or blood, I would find a creek or pond to wash myself off. Oh, how I could go for a dip in the stream right now. It has been weeks since I had the chance to dry off in the warmth of the sunlight. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to be outside on such a clear day.

Alex's phone went off, and after a glance, she hurriedly began typing on the screen. "I think we gotta go, Lyall. I wasn't supposed to bring you here, and Liz noticed we were gone." She looked up to Rylie and gave a begging look. "We weren't here, right?"

"What do you mean? I haven't seen Lyall in days?" she said, giving a wink to Alex.

"Thank you, Rylie! Is it cool if I stop by tomorrow?"

"You know, you ask me this every time, and I give you the same answer," Rylie said, crossing her arms. "This house is your second home. You don't have to ask to visit or even stay here."

Alex gave a smile and held her gloved hand to me.

She kept tapping her fingers against the steering wheel on the way back. She seemed nervous when she began mumbling to herself. She sighed and asked, "Where should we say we were?" I shrugged, causing her to shake her head.

"Fine, fine. How about we went out on the Perry Lake trail? Sound good to you?"

I nodded in agreement. She seemed to calm herself down after coming up with a story. As we pulled into the clinic, an SUV was parked near the entrance next to Elizabeth's car. Once we entered the clinic, we found Elizabeth and a man standing before one of the tables. Both looked at us as Alex brought me to the table's surface. The man was blonde and stood slightly taller than both Alex and Elizabeth.

"Lyall, this is an old friend of mine, Elwood Hugues, although everyone calls him Eli," Elizabeth said, gesturing to the man.

He bent down to look at me, "You must be Lyall. I've 'eard a lot about you. Do you mind if I?" He asked me. I couldn't tell what he was asking permission for, but I gave him a hesitant nod. He brought his hand up to me and scratched my head. A little uneasy with him, I pulled my head back gently.

"So yer' the hawk who thinks like a human then? Or rather, was a human before you got the bug," Eli said curiously.

"Eli is a twenty-something-year falconer," Elizabeth chimed in.

"Twenty-four years I've been at it," the man said with pride.

"I think he may be the best to work with you once your wing is healed. He already knows how to train redtails, so I'm sure he could help you get back to hunting again." Elizabeth said excitedly.

"I'd be happy to help ya, Lyall. I've worked rehabbin' birds before. You'll probably be a little easier, given you'll listen to me from the start," He joked as he leaned toward Alex. Alex took a step away from him and kept the same blank stare.

I still didn't know how to feel about Eli. I knew he was knowledgeable about hawks, but I couldn't help but feel weird around him. I wasn't a fan of him immediately trying to touch my head. I guess I did give him permission, in a way, but I still felt uneasy around him.

Elizabeth stepped closer and tried to address any concerns she thought I might have. "I know it's different from how we would have handled it normally, but with you being an ex-hybrid and not having all of the instincts, maybe some live practice could be helpful." Elizabeth held her hand near my head before pulling it away. "Your Mom would hate me if I didn't give you the best chance at caring for yourself."

I didn't mind Alex and Elizabeth touching my head, but I had no way of telling her. I'm sure Alex knew, but once again, the lack of speech made it hard to voice my opinions. I nodded slowly before looking to see what Alex was thinking. She just gave the same thousand-yard stare at Eli.

"Well, Lyall, I've got to get going, but it was great getting to meet you after all of the wonderful things Elizabeth has said 'bout ya." He held his hand toward my head again but stopped before touching it. "Can't wait to work with ya, if you want."

I gave Eli a nod, and he chuckled, returning his hand to his side. He gave Elizabeth a handshake and handed her a card.

"If he decides to do it, give me a call. I can make sure he is taken care of for ya," Eli said as he walked away. Once the door was shut, Alex let out a sigh.

"I didn't know he was coming by today."

"He wasn't planning on it, but decided to stop by while in the area. I didn't expect my assistant to have kidnapped the bird he was here to talk to," Elizabethsaid playfully, wagging her finger.

"I couldn't stand to hear that hawk. I'm sure Lyall didn't like it either, so I took him to Perry Lake for a walk," Alex said quickly.

Elizabeth was packing her things into her bag when she quietly said, "I know, I forgot about the... thing. I'm sorry for not calling you ahead of time." She threw her bag onto her back. "I'll be in early tomorrow, so don't worry about getting here too early," Elizabeth said with a smile as she left.

Alex continued working on everything she had left when we went to the house. The sky darkened as rain began to fall. The sun had started to set while she worked, which made it even darker outside. The rain was soon followed by thunder and lightning as the wind picked up.

"I knew it was supposed to storm, but I didn't realize it would have been this bad." Alex looked out the window at the parking lot, lit by a lone street lamp. "I should probably get home. My tires aren't the greatest if the roads are too wet."

She turned and started walking toward me when the lights flickered off and on for a moment. She stopped and looked up at the fixtures, and then the lights went out.

"I guess that's my sign then," she chuckled nervously.

My vision was pitch black, but I could still hear her slow footsteps as she felt her way toward me. I hunched down, blind, as I waited for her to reach me. With a crash, I could hear her fall to the ground, pulling something down with her.

"Ope! I'm good! Just a little fall. I'm blind as a-," she started to say before stopping, "Oh, woah, I can see?" I could hear her pulling herself up and her shoes slipping across the tile. "My eyes, they like, adjusted quickly." I felt her hand touch my back. At first, I jumped before I realized it was her. I relied on her to guide me into the cage, still blind in the dark. I could hear her walking about the room, picking up whatever she had knocked off the table. I waited a few minutes for her to finish cleaning the clinic before I heard her footsteps approaching.

"Do you want the door open or closed?" she asked. "I know it's super dark, but the lights might come on before Liz arrives."

Before I could give a blind nod, the lights flickered back on. I turned to find Alex when I saw her looking at the ceiling.

"Oh, I guess the lights are back on now. I'll leave the door open for you then," she said as she looked down at me again. But this time, I was frozen in fear. Not a fear I had felt before. Not a human fear, but an instinctual fear. I pulled my head back as the hawk wanted to escape her. The only thing I could think of being different was her bright, yellow eyes.

The eyes were unmistakably those of an owl.