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After Alex had come downstairs, she was quiet, not saying a word to anyone in the front room. She briefly conversed with Rylie and Nash before coming out and saying her goodbyes for the night. She started to leave before looking back and seeing me. She looked like she had realized she was about to forget me before she came and offered her arm to me. We left the house quickly.

The ride back to the rehab was awkward. Alex didn't know what I had seen, but she tried her best to keep up with small talk. Her attention was on the road, eventually evolving into talking to herself. I laid on the seat with my good wing against the seat back, trying to keep still as the car drove over bumps.

"Do you want to go on a walk in the woods tomorrow? It seemed good for you, and maybe another would be good. I used to take walks with my family in the woods on occasion when I was young. We would try to count the number of squirrels we found." Alex rambled in her one-sided conversation. I let her speak to herself. It wasn't like I could tell her to stop. I closed my eyes and pressed my body against the seat, letting my head fall to the soft fabric of the car seat--the soothing vibrations and Alex's speech slowly caused everything to fade.

"Lyall?" I heard her voice say.

My eyes flicked open, and my head spun around.

"You good, buddy? Am I that boring to you?" Alex laughed as she offered out her hand. I clumsily stood up, stretching my good wing upwards but still unable to move the bandaged wing. I reached out a talon and climbed onto Alex's hand. My still tired mind caused me to lose my balance, but Alex quickly caught me with her free hand, catching me just under my good wing.

"Hey! Watch yourself there, sleepy head!"

The sun had just set, and my vision was sorely lacking in the dark as usual. I wasn't built for the night, let alone to be walking about in the dark. Alex led me inside and placed me on the tabletop, taking a seat and leaning back until the chair creaked. Alex brought her left hand to rub the ridge of her nose and sighed. "Take it as it comes," her voice quietly whispered.

I walked across the table, slowly approaching her. She seemed tired, and I figured putting myself in the cage would allow her to go home sooner. I lightly tapped my beak against the table, catching Alex's attention. She looked up and saw as I tapped once again.

"Oh, crap! I never fed you, did I?" She said loudly before scrambling to the fridge. She stumbled and struggled to walk, tripping over her feet the entire way. When she reached the refrigerator, she grabbed the door and used it to steady herself. She brought her hand back to her head and rubbed her face again. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the handle tightly. "I... I can't think straight." Alex sounded worried as she pinched the bridge of her nose. She slid her back down the fridge door until her tail made contact with the floor. Falling to her side, she let go of the door handle and brought her legs to her chest.

I wanted to jump down to her but could not bring myself down to her. Pacing, I thought about making the jump, although the fear of setting my progress back kept me from doing so immediately. I searched for anything to help me but could not find a way to jump down. Walking to the edge and pushing against one of the heavy chairs proved fruitless. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a shadow walking past the frosted glass window. Without thinking, I let out a loud screech. But nothing happened. I looked back to Alex, still curled into the fetal position beside the fridge. I tried to screech again, holding it as long as I could. Taking another breath, I cried repeatedly until I began to feel light-headed.

Just as I felt dizzy, the shadow reappeared in the window. I tried to take another breath in preparation to yell again but couldn't exhale hard enough. The door swung open and Elizabeth rushed in.

"What is going on in here? Lyall?" She shouted angrily. Wasting no time, she ran up to the table and gave me a confused gaze. "You're out here. Where's Alex?"

Motioning my head, I tried to show her, but she didn't understand. I was screaming internally, "LOOK OVER THERE!" Swinging my head hard in Alex's direction. I faced Alex and let out yet another screech, this one being too far, as I began to see spots in my vision.

Elizabeth turned and jumped at the sight of the owl hybrid lying on the ground. "Alex!"

I took a few rough steps away from the table's edge before resting on my belly. My head spun as I laid it softly on the surface. I couldn't distinguish what Elizabeth said beyond "eyes," but I knew she was in better hands now. Trying to relax my breathing, I closed my eyes and felt a wash of relaxation. I had pushed too hard and must have denied myself oxygen in the rush. I felt like my body was falling back, and the sensation seemed familiar. I only pieced together why it felt so nice once it was too late.

I tried to fight for control but was tired and only wanted to sleep. At first, the thought of giving in and resting sounded great, but I remembered how I hurt Alex the last time. I had to fight it and bring myself back. I clenched my fist and tried to raise my hand, but it felt stuck, like some glue or tar was holding it back. I opened my fingers and tried to pull my hand close to my side. My hand? I closed my fist again and could feel each finger. Although I could not see it, my wings were replaced by arms. In an attempt to close my talons, I found they no longer could wrap into a ball but instead could only bend. It felt restrictive, but I could touch individual toes on each foot. Although alien to me, I knew it could only be one thing, a human foot.

As I tried to gasp for air, my face felt flappy. My lips were soft and mushy, allowing me to scrunch them together. My beak was gone. I wiggled different body parts, and they no longer felt like they should. They did feel how they used to a long time ago, before the feathers and the wings. It felt like the surface I was lying on was shaking, and my dark vision was interrupted by sparks of white light. Like lightning in the sky and thunder rumbling the ground, it was still quiet, with only my thoughts to keep me company. The sound was not a boom like lightning but a rumble that continued without relenting.

Voices quietly echoed in the silence, slowly growing louder. I tried to concentrate on what they were saying, but while the sound grew louder, it was still unclear. Focusing on regaining control, I could see outlines of my real vision, which was vague and problematic. I moved my arm and expected a corresponding movement from my avian body, but I couldn't feel any movement. I was more surprised when my body moved on its own in the opposite direction. The sound of the room grew clearer just in time.

"I don't think he's coming back this time," Elizabeth said, "He's been gone for a while, but Alex refuses to give up on him."

Trying to focus my sight, I could see the rough outline of Elizabeth. She held a phone to her head as she paced the room.

"Physically, he's doing great. But mentally...either way, I can't keep him here if Alex is here. He's only got a while longer before his wings are good, but it will take a lot of work to get him up again." Elizabeth sighed. "He was cooperative, but he hasn't been himself in a few days."

As I felt in control again, I couldn't help but wonder what she meant. Clearly, she was talking about me, but I had only slipped for a moment. I bobbed my head, trying to grab her attention, but she looked away. The cage door was fully closed and latched, and my beak could not reach the release. I pulled at the door, making sounds with what little play it had. Elizabeth gave a slight glance before she continued on the phone.

"Yeah, yes, I know." In response to the phone, she said, "She's out for the week, so if I can't find someone to take him, I'll still need to figure out somewhere for him to go after."

I rapped against the door with my beak. Elizabeth would give me nothing more but a quick look. I breathed in and made vocal sounds, not wanting to resort to the usual yell. She looked my way, and I bobbed my head.

"One second, he's getting rowdy again," she quickly walked to the door and exited the room. As the door closed, she continued, "Anyway, she thought.." but the door latched, leaving me in silence again. I looked around the room, but nothing could help me. What was I supposed to do?

After waiting, I could see motion through the frosted glass windows of the door. The door opened, and Elizabeth walked in, still talking on the phone. I didn't want to waste a moment and gave a loud screech. She jumped before stepping closer to my cage. She looked confused as I bobbed my head.

"Lyall?" She asked.

I nodded.

She closed her eyes and spoke into the phone, "Can I call you back? I think.. he's back?" She agreed to whomever she was on the phone with before placing it on the table. "Lyall? You're back then?"

I nodded quickly.

"I can't imagine how that must have been. Do you feel.. normal?" She sounded relieved but concerned at the same time. "You were out for a while there."

I nodded once more.

"You do know how long you were out, right?"

I hesitated before shrugging my wings. I had probably been out for a few hours like last time. While it was worrying that it had happened again, I still felt like I was well in control now.

"Lyall, it's been three days," Elizabeth said slowly, "I had to send Alex home for the week. She convinced herself she had caused it somehow. Luckily she hadn't caused any more changes."

I held my head low. I couldn't believe I had done it again. Last time it gave Alex the tail, but what if something more happened this time around? What if it wasn't something you could see?

Elizabeth quickly said, "Not to say you did any of it. You couldn't help; I'm sure you don't like it either. Right?"

I nodded slowly.

"I have some ideas but don't know much about this... condition myself. I have a friend I think may be helpful once your wing is working again. We need to give the hawk a little more room, and I don't think simple walks will help us much." She carefully unlatched the door, "Let's get you out of here. You can spend some time out while I feed the other animals."

The way she said that hit a string. "The other animals." I don't think she meant it wrong, but it still felt odd to be lumped in with the other creatures in the building. She wasn't wrong either. I was no more than just another bird in a cage to the regular person. She held out her arm to me, no leather glove, but her long sleeve shirt protected her from my talons. I stepped carefully, making sure not to tightly grip when possible.

She talked calmly as she walked me to the table in the center of the room, making no quick movements. "I did contact someone for you. I was afraid I would have to send you off to another rehabber. I talked to one up north with a history of working with hybrids, but they didn't have the capacity." She brought her arm down for me to step onto the table, "But I did get in touch with your mother. I assumed you would be leaving, so I couldn't keep her son a secret from her."

I froze in place. Unable to make any motion as I watched her. She waited to see any response from me, but I gave nothing. I could feel my feathers lift from my skin as they fluffed up.

"Is that a good thing or what?" Elizabeth asked, "She needs to see you again, Lyall. You don't know how much she has missed you."

How was I supposed to show myself to her? Would she cry when she saw her son like this, or would she be angry? I couldn't think of what she might say. Would she be mad that I changed when she wasn't there?

"I thought it could give her some closure, especially if you were entirely gone. But maybe it would be good to know you are still here." Elizabeth smiled, "She's supposed to come here tomorrow."

My mind began to race; I couldn't do anything as I couldn't even focus on anything. She was going to come here? What if I lose control again? What If I hurt her as I did to Alex? I wanted to cry. Instead of the hawk or even myself driving, tt was my fear driving right now. I think she could tell something was wrong.

"Are you excited or..?"

I turned to look at her, and she quickly understood.

"I think you need this as much as she does, Lyall."

As she tried to continue, her phone began to vibrate. She reached to check it, but I could already see the screen. "Alex," Elizabeth grabbed the phone and brought it to her ear.

"Yes?" She answered, "Yes, he's doing fine." She pointed to the door and began to walk to it, "He's here and with it. No, don't worry about getting here. You need a break. He will still be here." She said, giving me a wink.

As the door clicked closed, I sighed. As if everything else wasn't enough, now I had to deal with Alex being afraid for me, and however my Mom has been. Don't get me wrong; I want nothing more than to see her again, but not in this animal's body. I wanted to try to hug her again, tell her how I'd been, tell her about her grandchildren. That's another thing, how would I break that news? It's not like I could introduce her to my mate. I couldn't even tell her where my mate was. She doesn't even have a name!

Would she be mad at me? Would she be sad for me?

The door opened again as I thought about my Mom's future freak out. "Well, Alex is doing great. She knows you're fine and still you. So that's good; she doesn't have to worry herself sick." She laughed, "Well, it is getting late. Not the greatest timing to come back there, Lyall. I was just getting ready to head home for the night. Do you feel safe alone here until morning?"

I nodded my head.

"Ok, but if you ever need company, I'm used to sleeping at the office." She picked up her bag from under the table, "You never know when a bird will get hit by a truck. Or maybe you do?" She laughed. "You can sleep out of the cage if you want, or better yet." She lifted a carrier from below a counter and placed it on the table. She carefully lined the bottom with a towel. "You've spent enough time in that cage. You deserve a little freedom." She walked to the door and flicked half the lights off, "But promise you won't make a mess for me to clean up?" The door shut, and I inspected the carrier. Black fabric covered the top and door. Pulling the door closed would make it completely dark. I climbed in and shut the door, making a quiet, dark place to rest my eyes.

Before I knew it, the much brighter sun was shining in through the cracks on the carrier. I carefully pushed the door open with my beak. As the light filled my eyes, I looked around, expecting to see Elizabeth or Alex. I must have beaten them to the punch and woken before they arrived. I walked about on the table before peeking over the edge. As much as I wanted to jump down, I would cause more harm than I would gain.

I waited on the table for someone to arrive. At least I had the warm light through the window. I stood with my back to the windows letting the golden rays warm my feathers. It felt like I was perched in my field for a moment. I could almost feel the soft breeze and the tree's sway. I felt warm inside as I pictured the slow sun rising behind me, lighting up my home. But that was soon interrupted by the sound of the door opening.

"Lyall? Oh, you're out of the cage already. Car troubles have me running a little late." Elizabeth slid her bag under the desk and grabbed a baggie from the mini-fridge. I knew immediately what the bag was, a frozen mouse. Nothing to pull you out of imagining your home in the wild like a long-dead, frozen mouse. Although the food outside wasn't glamorous either, it was fresh. Elizabeth placed the bag under a heat lamp and returned to the table.

"So, you are still doing great?" She said hurriedly, "Normally, I'm more organized, but today I'm all over the place." She grabbed the carrier and slid it across the floor. She winced in response when it hit a metal rack with a loud crash. "I got a message, and your Mom is on her way over. I left this place a disaster thinking I would have time this morning to clean up!"

Looking around the room, it seemed as clean as usual--a few things on tables but nothing you wouldn't expect out of a workspace. Elizabeth frantically put items in bins and shelved them, making the place cleaner than I had ever seen. Elizabeth went to crack a window but quickly turned around.

"Oh, she's here!" She said before quickly walking out of the room.

This was it.

I was about to make my mother sad or angry, but I still couldn't tell. At least if she's angry, I know it won't last as long. But now I could see the light moving from behind the door's window. The door opened, and Elizabeth walked in.

"This is one of the care rooms we have. However, we have been mostly keeping it to only one resident."

As Elizabeth held the door open, I could finally see her face. She looked like I remembered her, although her hair was a little lighter. Her eyes darted around the room at everything. I turned my head so I could only see her from the corner of my eye, afraid to make eye contact.

"Ok." She said in the same voice I had grown up with.

She looked down at me on the table before stepping back, raising her hands up slightly.

"Oh." She said, surprised.

She stared at me but didn't react. Her eyes glanced at my bandaged wing before looking back up to my eyes. She seemed almost afraid as she pulled back slightly.

"So, Mrs. Williams, this is Lyall," Elizabeth said slowly.

"Ly-all?" she stuttered. Her face turned red, and she stepped closer.

I turned my head so both eyes locked with hers and bobbed my head. Her eyes began to water, and she reached out her hands. I lowered my head, expecting her to touch my head feathers, but instead, she reached toward my chest and back.

"Honey, what happened to you?" She asked as her left hand touched my back. Her other hand reached around my body and gently caressed my bandaged wing. She was gentle and slow as she shakily rubbed my feathers. "Your... Your... wing. What did you do to yourself?" I was taken aback by the question. It had been over a year since I had last seen her since I was probably presumed dead. But she was laser-focused on the bandage.

"Lyall found himself in a scuffle with a semi a few weeks ago," Elizabeth said, stepping aside to see what my Mom was doing. "Someone brought him in after finding him on the side of the interstate.

"Lyall! Why were you playing in traffic? Just because you grew up does not mean you can be foolish!" She scolded me before her hand ran up my back and to my head. She ran her fingers through my head feathers, and I closed my eyes. "My little man, you're just as handsome as the day you said you left."

I wanted nothing more than to tell her how happy I was to see her again. I would give anything to tell her I loved her. She ran her hand down my back and past my fanned-out tail. I opened my eyes again and looked at her with my head cocked to the side.

"You've been taking care of yourself, right? You've stayed warm and fed?"

I nodded quickly and accidentally let out a short raspy call.

"That's good, that's great," she said, her eyes still wet. "I knew you were going to be ok. I knew you would take care of yourself."

We stayed with our eyes locked for a moment. She then reached her arms around me and gently hugged me. My head became buried in her hair, and I closed my eyes again. Emotions came flowing in like a river.

I had waited a year to hug my Mom one more time.