Disturbance in the Neighborhood (HMOFA)
Story by PapaDelta on SoFurry
This a little green I wrote a while ago but forgot to post anywhere.
A family man gets a visit from a few hyena children, much to his displeasure.
~500 words
>Be me, upper middle class family man who lives in a large house in the middle of suburbia
>Hear the doorbell ring
>Ah, that must be the mailman here to deliver my tenth amazon order for the week
>It's probably either my gourmet coffee or new yoga mats the wifey ordered
>I open the door and-
>Gross
>Three tiny little yeenlets stare up at me with their stumpy little muzzles, behind them is a red wagon filled with boxes
>Looks like two boys and a girl based on the flowers in her fur
>Probably stole them from Mrs. Smith's garden, I'll have to tell her to look out for yeenlets in the future
>"H-hello mister." Says one of the boys. "We're here to raise funds for our youth swimming team."
>Impossible, everyone knows yeens can't swim
>Yet I can't help but feel the urge to entertain them
>"And what are you trying to sell me?"
>The girl reaches into a box on the wagon
>"Cookies!" She happily answers. "We got peanut butter ones and mint ones and chocolate ones and caramel ones and..."
>She goes on for what feels like an eternity
>Damnit, though I know if I give them any money they'll just buy guns, drugs, or booze I find myself unable to say no to a few boxes of minty sweets
>"I'll take three, no, four boxes of the thin mints." I reluctantly state, my heart filled with shame
>"Thank you! That'll be twenty dollars sir." Says the girl, retrieving my cookies
>I bring up my wallet and pull out a twenty
>Guess this is twenty more dollars in some catnip dealers pocket now
>I give her the money and she gives me my cookies
>The future gang members wave goodbye and pull their cart away
>I wave back with a forced smile
>How many bullets for a ghettoblaster can a twenty buy, I wonder
>I close and lock the door behind, moving to the kitchen
>There I'm greeted by my boar wife and our litter of piglets
>She's got her top off and is breastfeeding our two newest additions while at the same being snout deep in a bowl of cereal
>It's spilling all over the table but I don't mind, she'll just lick it up later
>She stops snorting and huffing for a few moments to look up at me
>"What did you get?"
>"Just some cookies dear."
>"For me? You shouldn't have!"
>She saunters over and snatches one of the boxes, tearing it open with a tusk and gobbling down a few of the minty desserts
>God, the tusks on this woman are enough to make a man weak in the knees
>She wipes the crumbs from her mouth and readjusts the two nursing piglets
>"So, have my yoga mats come in yet?"
>"No dear. Not yet."
>She huffs and walks away
>"Damnit, how am I supposed to impress that bitch across the street when I can't practice anywhere! Downward dog my fat fucking ass."
>She walks away and I can't help but stare at her jiggly posterior and swinging tail
>Dayum