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A Wolf and his Dragon

It was just a regular night, not different from any other night in the small town that both Wilker and his roommate Rory were walking down on. Both of them were wolves coated with gray fur and had pointy ears, large snouts and paws and a fairly bulky exterior. Both of them were wearing brown shorts and currently talking about their college career at the moment.

"So Wilker, you still bunkin' with your girlfriend?"

"Yes, I'm still bunkin' with her, you're still an idiot, my parents are still on vacation, and we're gonna go buy corn dogs at that stand over there in the next four minutes. There: I saved you the trouble of talking!" said Wilker.

Rory cocked an eyebrow. "What crawled up your butt and died?"

Wilker sighed. "I'm sorry dude. I've just been very frustrated lately."

"Oh, you're having 'issues' again. Well, sit on that couch and let's talk about your day."

"...When'd this couch get on the road?"

"I dunno. Just lay on it."

Wilker sighed and lay down on the couch, getting relaxed and stretching himself.

"So what sort of troubles have you been having lately?"

Wilker sighed. "It's just everything has been the same ever since I went to college. Nothing interesting ever happens anymore and-and it feels like...everything's just died and got boring all of a sudden."

"And how does that make you feel?"

"Like a zombie."

"Well in my opinion, I believe you seek attention. That or you're bored with your life and need-"

"Oh my God! Did you make me a patient in one of your therapy sessions?!"

Rory quickly put his glasses and notepad away. "No..."

"I know you're taking psychology, but that does not mean you get to mess with my mind like that!"

"But it's fun."

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"I just want something to happen in my life! Whether it's a promotion or a different class schedule or a frickin' hurricane that spawned out of nowhere! All I want is for something to change in my life before I become a walking corpse."

"...Hey, is that...is that a meteor?"

Something large fell from the sky and slammed right into Rory's skull, knocking him backwards a few feet and inflicting pain onto his head.

"Rory! Are you okay?!"

"...No..." he moaned.

Wilker grabbed the object that hit Rory in the head and held it up to his vision. Only, the object had scales and spikes running down its back...and a tail...and a diaper on. Its scales were blue and its underbelly was yellow.

"HOLY CRAP!!!"

"What?"

"...This is a baby dragon dude."

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Wilker and Rory were inside of Wilker's house, examining the adolescent dragon as it walked around the floor on all fours, cooing and snarling to itself.

"What do you think we should do with it?" asked Wilker.

"Well we can't throw it in a dumpster."

"Why would you throw any kind of baby into a dumpster? What do you think would happen if your parents threw you in a dumpster when you were still a cub?"

"I'd probably get pissed and go on a bloodthirsty rampage."

"This is exactly what this dragon will do. And we don't need fire-breathing monsters trying to kill everybody."

"So what do you wanna do? I don't think child services are open at this hour and even if they were, they'd probably stick this guy into an orphanage."

"I could take care of him till tomorrow."

"You sure you wanna do that?"

"Yeah! How hard could it be?"

As soon as Wiliker finished talking, the dragon started bawling like crazy, whining and crying relentlessly. Wilker and Rory sighed.

"What's wrong with the dragon?" asked Wilker.

Wilker picked up the dragon and looked at its head and the rest of its body. Perhaps it injured itself while running along the carpet or got something sharp jammed into its paws.

"It didn't hurt itself."

Rory took the dragon and started licking it on its scalp, which only made it cry louder.

"WHAT DID YOU DO RORY?!?!"

"I thought it needed a bath!"

"You do not bathe a dragon with your tongue stupid! And that's not why it's crying!"

"Maybe its diaper is dirty. Sniff its butt and find out."

"Why don't you sniff the dragon butt? I don't wanna sniff a dirty diaper!"

"Fine we'll play Rock, Paper Scissors for it. Rock, paper-"

"Screw it, I'll do it."

Wilker turned the dragon around and looked at the dragon's diaper covered hide. He sighed exasperatedly and planted his nose on the back end of it, sniffing it for a few seconds. Immediately afterwards, he retracted his nose and started coughing violently, hacking up a lung and having trouble breathing. Meanwhile, Rory was busy chuckling at Wilker.

"Does its diaper stink that bad?"

"NO! The dragon farted in my mouth!" said Wilker, gagging.

Once again, the dragon continued to cry constantly.

"Maybe it's hungry. You still got leftover ground beef sizzling in that frying pan over there."

The dragon ran over to the oven and stood on its hind legs, stretching its arms high to try and grab the black frying pan. But as soon as it touched it, it yowled and brought its claw back, whining.

"Don't touch that! It's really hot."

Wilker put on an over mitten and scooped out all the meat into an empty bucket he had lying on the floor. The dragon cheered with joy and ran over to the bucket full of meat.

"Now make sure not to eat too fast because it's very-"

But the dragon didn't listen to Wilker's warning and dunked its head into the bucket, noisily slurping up the meat and slop with glee.

"Great. I'm gonna go back home now."

"Wait, so you're just gonna leave me here with the dragon?"

"Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow."

"But Rory!!"

"See ya!" said Rory, slamming the door behind him.

Wilker grumbled and planted his head on the door, extremely stressed that his friend abandoned him so quickly like that. That stress soon grew when the dragon jumped on his back and latched onto him with its claws.

"Da-da!" it shouted, or he shouted, judging by the sound of his voice.

"...Take your claws out of my back, please."

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Wilker and the dragon were inside Wilker's room at night, ready to go to bed.

"Okay, you can sleep on the floor and I'll sleep on the bed, okay."

"Okay!"

The dragon hopped onto Wilker's bed and curled into a ball, sighing contently and shifting into a comfortable position. Wilker shoved the dragon off the bed and onto the floor.

"This is the bed. That's the floor. You sleep down there, understand?"

The dragon nodded his head.

"Alright then."

The second Wilker got underneath the covers of his bed, the dragon launched his whole body at Wilker like a missile, throwing him out of the bed in the same fashion he was thrown off. Wilker shook his head and looked up to see the dragon looking down at him from the bed, giggling. Too tired to fight off the dragon at the moment, Wilker simply crawled into bed with the dragon at his side.

"Just make sure you don't kick me onto the floor."

Wilker and the dragon got under the covers and shut their eyes, slowly drifting away to dreamland. Wilker had to admit, despite how annoying and whiny he seemed the dragon sure was cute. And he didn't even snore in his sleep or roll around. At least, everything was fine until he heard a trumpet blow loudly in his ear. Wilker jolted awake and looked around.

"What the hell was that?"

Wilker heard the noise again and saw the baby dragon sigh contently. The next thing he knew, his room was becoming hot and stuffy.

"Mmm...beans..." mumbled the dragon, before the trumpeting noise was heard again.

Wilker lifted the blanket off the bed and covered his nose, overwhelmed by the horrible stench. The dragon was dreaming about eating tons and tons of beans, but in the real world, he was passing gas by the gallons. Wilker even examined his diaper and saw it jiggle each time he farted.

"Hey, wake up. Wake up!!" shouted Wilker.

He poked the dragon on his belly, but the dragon responded by rolling over and blasting a huge wet fart in his face. Wilker rushed to his window and opened it, but for some reason, the dragon began to fart even louder and more forceful than before. The smell was downright fetid and horrible. Wilker knew if he slept in his room, he'd surely dehydrate from the hot farts or suffocate on the hydrogen-sulfide and methane. He only had one option left.

"I'm sleeping on the couch..."