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Finding Eternal Love

I followed the soldier in front of me down the gantry and onto the dock. This was it, France. No more pretending this was all just some mistake. I was here to help our allies send the Kaiser's troops back in pieces.

"Why couldn't we be assigned someplace warmer? It's freezing out here."

I shook my head as we lined up. It was early December and was at least 50 degrees I felt a bit overheated in my winter uniform. Still even if I was acclimatized to this sort of winter weather I had to wonder at military stupidity. I hated fighting, I hated being around large groups of people, and I hated the mud. So of course they assigned me to a combined American and French unit entrenched on the front lines. Hell, I'd only agreed to sell cattle to the army and it seemed someone had given me the wrong forms.

I and twelve other men, were directed into the back of a truck and we were on our way to meet up with our new unit. As I looked around I quickly realized that other than two officers I had the highest rank. I didn't like that. The last thing I wanted was to be responsible-.

The truck came to an abrupt stop. We bailed out weapons ready. The front of the truck was a wreck or more appropriately the front of the truck and the plane that had crashed into it was a wreck. I started forward and one of the officers yelled at me.

"Where are you going soldier?"

"Sir, there is a possibility the truck wasn't too badly damaged, unless you really want to march the rest of the way, what can it hurt if I check and see?"

"Be quick about it." He said, gruffly.

I pulled off as much wreckage as I could. Most of it was wood and clothe, fortunately the engine still looked to be in good condition. I had to remove the caved in hood and two other soldiers pulled the driver out. I started the engine and one of the officers climbed into the passenger seat as everyone else clambered into the back.

"Drive, and keep going until I tell you otherwise."

Driving a truck, at last something I had experience at. We drove for about an hour before reaching a check point. They confiscated our truck and we were left to march the rest of the way.

In the afternoon it started to snow. We stood at attention as the two officers argued over which way to go. They both fell as two shots rang out. We hit the ground. Everyone seemed confused. The sniper continued to fire on us. A mistake because it let me figure out where we was. I took careful aim and ended the threat. Just because I hated fighting didn't mean I wasn't experienced with a rifle. Growing up on a ranch meant having to keep the livestock defended. Human targets were slower and often dumber than coyotes, wolves, and cougars. Several minutes passed before we moved.

I went and retrieved the map. The compass was shot, literally. It was overcast to the point I couldn't get a reading on the sun. I closed my eyes and turned to the North. My uncanny internal compass hadn't failed me before and it was the best we had for the moment, I checked the map and we headed east.

We stumbled into camp in the late afternoon, wet, hungry, and exhausted. A French Officer ordered me. In broken English, into a dugout command post as the rest of my men were sent to reinforce the men on the line. Then he followed me in.

"Report."

"We have been sent to replace fallen American Soldiers." I immediately passed him my orders. He yelled in French, and spoke with another soldier who rushed in.

"The Commander wishes to tell you the American Unit is gone."

"Gone were? My orders are to join up with them." I didn't like the way the Commander laughed.

"They're all dead and we are barely holding our ground. The Commander says your men will be joining us until you receive further-"

An alarm went off and the two Frenchmen were getting into their anti-gas suits. I quickly pulled mine on as well. I could hear shooting.

"How much French do you understand?" The translator asked.

"Um bonjour, oui, and non. That's about it"

"I hope you're a quick learner. Stick close to me and I'll try to help you survive. The shooting stopped and another siren sounded the all clear.

We removed our masks and I noticed how handsome the young translator was. I immediately imagined the buxom barmaid who had flirted with all of us when we arrived in England immediately killing my arousal. Thinking of other men like that would get me executed for sure.

The Commander dismissed us and I followed the most perfect ass I could ever imagine out into the hell of the trenches.

***

The ground was frozen, for which I was very thankful considering I watched as one of the soldiers was peeing just to the side of the bench.

"Our forces are somewhat thin right now we're doing our best to hold the line. We get supplies every other day at most, sometimes only once a week."

I patted my pack. "I've got my rations they'll last a few days."

"Don't take your pack off. Do you have cigarettes?"

I scowled. "Oui, but I don't smoke. There's enough gas out here, I don't need to make it worse."

"Even better, you can trade them when your rations get low. I'll help you with that."

"If you don't mind my asking, why are you so interested in my wellbeing?"

"I don't know. You just have something that makes me feel you're a survivor. If I stay close to you, maybe I'll be able to survive as well."

"So you help me and I help you. Sounds like a plan."

"Good. The first thing you need to know, when the alarm sounds get your gas mask on. Second the Commander doesn't have us charging the enemy line. We just don't have enough troops left. We let them come to us. Third we work in two man teams. One fighting the German charge the other man covering the back in case of sneak attacks."

"What about your current teammate?"

"Dead. You're taking his place, so don't get yourself killed."

The siren went off again. I had my mask on and was aiming through a notch in the sandbags at the top of the trench. There was constant shooting around me. I held off. Then I saw movement in the fog. I fired and it dropped. I was quickly tracking another target. Now that I had my bearings it wasn't much harder than hunting in thick cover. For every shot I took a body dropped. I found myself firing as fast as I could as the gas cleared and I could make out more of the enemy. I continued firing until I had no more targets. I ducked back down into the trench.

My companion whistled. "What are you doing here?"

"I know, I was a bit slow there and the mask makes it difficult to track my targets, and I'm not completely accustomed to this rifle yet. I'll get better."

"Better! With shooting skills like that you should be in an elite unit."

"It's nothing special,"

"Jordan!" The Commander yelled.

"Hold my place and don't get killed before I get back." Jordan said, as he headed back to the command area.

"Jordan, even his name is cute." I thought before mentally slapping myself. There was no way he was a deviant like I was. Besides one or both of us could be dead in the next few minutes. "Damn it, I'm here to survive not to indulge in sick fantasies about an incredibly handsome Frenchman." I blushed at the thought but at least I could blame it on the cold.

Jordan quickly returned but he looked really upset. "Uh . . ."

"It's William, but you can call me Bill."

"I . . . the men you arrived with . . . they didn't survive that first battle. It's my fault. I should have been there to translate for them."

"Don't blame yourself. You were doing your job. I'm not going to blame you for that."

"Don't you care?"

I sighed. "Other than being American I didn't have any ties with them. I spend a lot of time alone and I don't make friends. It's just easier that way."

He sat on the bench next to me. I noticed he was shivering and his winter coat was rather threadbare.

"Do you think you could be friends with me?" He asked quietly.

I sighed, and against my every inclination pulled him next to me wrapping my newly issued coat around both of us sharing body heat.

"What are you doing?"

"My life is likely going to depend on you. So it's in my best interest to keep you from freezing. I have a higher than normal body temperature so I can spare a bit. To answer your other question, I don't know why, but yes, I feel we could become friends.

***

I was pretty sure it was January. Things had gotten to the point where we were only being attacked once or twice a week. Obviously the Germans weren't doing much better than we were. My rations had run out and I wasn't being resupplied. I'd even traded off all my cigarettes. The Commander did his best to make sure I didn't starve but it meant less for his own troops.

There was very little complaint since I was pulling my own weight and then some during the attacks. If anything when the others looked at me I could see pity. Honestly I think I'd have preferred animosity.

A siren blared and Jordan yelled "gas". I pulled my mask into place as the yellow fog covered us.

I readied my rifle and waited. There was movement and shots rang out I fired on anything that moved. The gas shifted and started to drift. I was better able to pick my targets my ammo lasted longer than the others. I slumped down in the mud I'd been here days, weeks, could it have really been months? I was sure it was only January but the days went on with no real sense of continuity.

Jordan leaned against me and fell asleep. Ever since I shared my coat it seemed he could only fall asleep if he was in physical contact with me. I had to keep reminding myself it was because we were just friends and nothing more. Oh how I wished it was more. I couldn't help but admit to myself that at some point I'd fallen in love with him.

I let him rest. I'd learned the basic alerts so I could quickly wake him if needed. An officer moved down the line delivering fresh ammunition and mail. I didn't get any. I never did. It was like I'd been forgotten. Maybe I had been. It only took a small mistake to be declared dead. Not that it mattered I didn't have anyone waiting back home to write to me anyway. The officer handed me a letter and pointed at my companion. I nodded and shook him awake. A letter was always more important here than sleep. He continued to lean against me and asked me to open it and hold it where he could see it. It's not like I could read it. But as I spread the sheet of paper I was surprised to find it was written in English.

"Dear Jordan, I hope this letter finds you well. I have wonderful news I've met this splendid woman, an American nurse, believe it or not. We are to be wed within the month and then I'm going with her to America! Can you believe it?"

I thought it had started raining again but then I realized Jordan was crying.

The letter continued: "I know this isn't exactly what we had planned but this time apart must have made you realize the truth. We could never be the way you imagined. Once this war is over I implore you to find a good woman of your own and forget about all those silly childish thoughts." The letter went on about how what they had felt for each other was evil and worse, but I'd thrown in into the mud and was grinding it deeper with the heal of my boot.

I glanced around noticing that everyone else was either asleep or absorbed in their mail. I lifted Jordan's chin and kissed him. It was quick and chaste, but no less surprising. "When this is over, if God willing, and we survive I want you to come to America with me. I don't have a lot, just a small homestead on a couple hundred acres and no neighbors for miles. I could use a hand running the place. If I'd known you were like me I'd have asked so much sooner. I . . . I want you in my life."

I didn't care who heard me since I knew no one else in the unit understood English. Still I was stunned as Jordan kissed my cheeks. I was sure he had planned more but someone made a rude comment. I only understood a word or two but he really told the person off and he was just thanking me for helping him. His girl dumped him and I helped him see that obviously she wasn't worth crying over. Everyone shut up and went back to their own mail. Likely scared the next one they opened would be similar.

Jordan groped the front of my uniform, "You know what you're suggesting, yes?"

"I'm hoping for a whole lot more than that." I grinned

The gas alarm sounded and once again we pulled on our masks. I couldn't believe the Germans were attacking again in such a short amount of time. They must have been getting desperate. Still I fought harder than ever now that I really had something to fight for. And the knowledge that I really shouldn't have.

***

I held Jordan in my arms as we watched the news. It wasn't anything new just more war, They called it a Police Action but to anyone who'd been there knew war when we saw it. As if the world hadn't learned its lessons from the first two. We'd been together now fifty two years. Time hadn't exactly been kind but when I looked at him he was as sexy and attractive as that day I first met him in that hole in the ground. No, actually I found him more attractive than ever.

"My tiger, there's something I need to tell you."

I wiped a tear from his cheek. “It's alright I already know."

"No, you don't. This . . . this is our last night together."

"No Love, it isn't."

"Yes, it is. I- I'm not-"

"You're part of something greater. Something most people would consider a God. I know, I've known since the day in that trench when I asked you to be my partner."

"How?"

"It's hard to explain. That day I was myself but also more than myself. You are the mortal aspect of a God, but I am eternally bound to you, by choice I should add."

Jordan looked surprised, "How is it I didn't know that?"

"You were awakened to your true self, while I shared my mind with another version of myself. His thoughts, his love for you, it hurt when it was taken away but the god version of you granted me one wish."

"What was that?"

I started crying "That I wouldn't have to live without you and you wouldn't have to live without me. When we fall asleep tonight we will be together, forever."

"No, you shouldn't have made such a deal."

I pulled my love close, "My little Wolf, we got to have nine extra years together. It was a deal worth making." Jordan yawned, we were both falling asleep. "We will always be together, whatever comes next."

"What if I'm reincarnated again?"

"I told you we are eternally bound. Find me and remind me that we are meant to be together." I could feel it. I was beginning to slip into unconsciousness I gripped Jordan tightly and he did the same. I didn't care what anyone would think when they finally discovered out bodies. As I started so slip away I kissed my lover one last time.