FSE

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The chill from the snowy blanket outside brought more comfort than the yelling in the trailer. Tabitha scrunched up in the foldout chair left behind, bundled in a jacket two sizes too big for her. The benefits of hand-me-downs or charity clothes were that she could make a little hut from one jacket to keep her legs warm, something she'd learned from many nights she'd wasted outside away from home.

She didn't sport a shiner tonight, some fucked up side of her wished she did. Then the wolverine could just blame her parents on being sacks of shit, rather than be guilty over the parts she had between her legs. Something about the holidays made it worse. Kids at school were always smiling and dancing to this Christmas crap, like it washed away all their troubles. They got presents, time inside their homes, and that sweet delicious gingerbread that Tabitha only tasted when Ricky brought enough for the whole class.

What'd she get? More time stuck with her family in a trailer too cramped for four, one parent an angry drunk, the other apathetic. Not that her mom was any better sober, she made the biggest habit of pointing out Tabitha's 'flaws'. White breath escaped from her lungs and wafted into the December night air. She twitched at the sudden shout, and, like a coward, she curled up tighter to let it pass.

The door slammed, followed by tumultuous steps off the porch. "You're gonna catch a cold out here." The voice carried a suppressed rage. Not at her, Tabitha knew he wasn't angry at her. He was just mad, and had no one better to take it out on.

"I'm too tough for that." Tabitha grinned, forcing her teeth to stay still against the cold. Her older brother smiled and hunkered down next to her, his plaid and patched jacket fitting better while his left eye sported a fresh bruise. "I heard your fight."

"Really?"

She shrugged, "I heard the shouting."

He nodded. "Yeah. Fucker is loud." They sat quietly, with only the wind casting between them to shake off the feeling of deafness. Snow fell without care across the sky, piling up more and more. Part of her wanted to lay in it, to be buried underneath the flakes and forget her world. The other part knew that getting her clothes wet wasn't worth it.

"How many more years until you move out?" She asked.

"Bout four," Jamie said. "Me and Jessie are gonna get a house."

Jessie. She was a nice, if not a little dim, retriever from a marginally better family. At least they had a house. "With what money? Gonna do that whole Bonnie and Clyde shtick?"

He laughed, "No, that was our thing, remember?" His smile faded as he looked out to space, "Gas Station is hiring. Or maybe I could join the military. They got sign-on bonuses. Who knows?"

The younger wolverine made a pistol with her hand and mock fired it several times, "Take that, terrorists!"

"You think terrorists would be in this shithole? Let alone American soil?" They both laughed at that.

"When you get your house, can I come over? Maybe sleep over?"

He rested his hand against her shoulder, or what might have been in the small hut of a jacket she wore. "Tabs, I'll make sure you have your own room."

***

There was a crick in her neck when Tabitha awoke. The result of sleeping at an awkward angle all night. Her frustration with it was blanketed by the salty smell of eggs emanating from her kitchen, mixing with the sizzle of her frying pan. The wolverine took a moment to remember that this wasn't some strange burglar who decided to make breakfast in her home. No, it was the guest she'd brought over.

That didn't make the next few moments any less awkward. Before her two boytoys, Tabitha never invited a lay to her house. It was always motels or any place of convenience, where she could wake up and leave without any worry of connection. Was she an asshole? Yes, but who looked for connections late in a bar or when three drinks in? Everyone wanted to get laid, and she was no exception. Tabitha just didn't want the bullshit that came after.

But that cowpatty was in her kitchen, and goddamn did the smell of bacon make her stomach growl. Pulling up her shorts and a shirt, Tabitha strode to the door only to freeze at the last moment. The night before was...complicated. Ok, it wasn't. Tabitha broke down like a whiny cowardly bitch while balls deep inside the girl's ass. And it wasn't just some random floozy or twink she'd found at a gay club a city over. No, this was one of her best friend's girls. Hell, Helga was practically a sister, so did that mean she slept with family? Questions about pseudo-incest aside, her stomach beat out any immediate worries and forced her past the door.

She saw the pitbull, and, thank god, only the pitbull, hovering over a skillet. Instead of her ugly christmas sweater, Rebecca grabbed one of Tabitha's undershirts that fit surprisingly well, and a pair of panties that did little to hide the chastity belt she wore. How one got comfortable in those she never understood, even with the locks she kept around Justine and Kathoey. Her smile was sweet when she saw her, casually turning her head to grab the salt only to catch Tabitha in her eye. "Morning, Ma'am."

"Morning." Were they always going to use honorifics? Was she supposed to sit down and expect free food from her own kitchen? Questions and self directed swears bounced around in her head as she pulled out a counter chair. "Eggs smell good."

"I should hope so, it's my best dish." Rebecca playfully scoffed. "Anyone can make eggs, even good eggs. They're super easy. But great eggs? That's entirely different."

"Lots of experience with eggs?"

The pitbull nodded. "When it's your basic protein for most of the time, you tend to get creative. Anything to beat drinking several yokes in a glass." Tabitha shivered at the thought. Rebecca pushed her tongue out in agreement. "I wasn't sure how you liked yours though, so I'm making an omelet if that's alright."

"Haven't had an omelet in years." Not since her days on the road where her and the gang stopped by diners. "So I'll be looking forward to it."

It was a relief not to see Milly in that smile this time. Maybe because the whole situation was foriegn to her. Someone else cooking breakfast? What's next, a hug? She hunkered down at her chair and shook her head at the thought, chuckling away like it didn't mean anything. It didn't work. She thought more and more about last night. How she broke down in the middle of fucking this girl, memories set on a friend she lost so long ago.

"Hey," She spoke up, gulping down an ice cold glass of water to clear her throat. "About last night, I-"

One fluffy yellow omelet on a plate slid her way. "You don't have to talk about it."

She blinked, eyes glancing over the restaurant grade dish before looking back at the pitbull's backside. "This a, 'I don't want to talk about it' kind of thing or a 'I'm sure you're feeling awkward enough about it' sort of thing?"

"The latter. I'm not going to think less of you if you want to avoid it."

She could have said thanks and ate her omelete, like a regular person. But Tabitha couldn't let it weigh on her. "I need to get it off my chest. Unless you really don't want to hear it."

"Day's awkward enough, what's a little more going to do?" She clapped back with a grin, "You were crying with your cock up my ass, I think I can stand some heart to heart."

"Are kids these days always so open?" Tabitha sure wasn't at her age. Hell, she'd have booked it the moment she woke up, likely through the window.

Rebecca shrugged, "Wouldn't know, wasn't the most social growing up. Having an irresponsible single parent will do that to a kid."

"Try having two," The wolverine caught her tongue at the last second. "Sorry, I don't mean to compare shit parents."

"We did our comparisons at the party. It's no worry." She plopped a second omelet onto her own plate and scooted over on the stool next to Tabitha, "So, what did you want to talk about?"

The what was easy. How to start it off had the wolverine slowly chewing on her omelet while trying to think of the best opening. It had just the right amount of salt and butter, too much cheese for her liking though. With a swallow, Tabitha finally said. "You remind me of someone I used to know. Someone who was, for the short time that I knew her, very dear to me." It only took her a decade and a half to realize just how important Milly was to her. How, even if it wasn't directly her fault, she still carried blame for what happened to the beaver.

How she just forgot, rather than forgave herself.

"Oh..." Rebecca frowned, eyes blank and staring off into space. "I'm sorry."

"It's no fault of your own. I just forgot how much I miss her."

"Who was she?"

Door was open, no point to close it now. "Her name was Milly. She was a beaver that me, Hels, and the girls picked up during a month in Arizona. Can't remember the town we were in, been so many that they all sort of just blur." Might have been Page, but Tabitha couldn't figure out any identifying features from her time there. Mostly on account of her spending so much of that visit with the beaver. "She worked in a diner, one you'd expect to see drug deals happening in the back and somehow had the best waffles. Soft enough that you could squeeze them in your hand to better dip them in syrup."

"I've never heard of anyone actually doing that."

Tabitha shrugged, "I wasn't known for my table manners. Point is, that's where I met her. I was around your age, maybe a little older, when this cute red headed beaver took my order. Being the cocky little shitferbrains I was back then, I asked for a little beaver tail with my pancakes." Rebecca both smiled and shook her head at the joke, leading Tabitha to believe how lucky she was that day. "Well, she came back with my pancakes. One shaped exclusively like a beaver tail, along with a scrap of paper that had her number."

"It was that easy?"

"Only 'cause she wanted it to be." Tabitha had plenty of flirtations that ended with her headfur drenched in whatever the other person was drinking. "Helga, or Hrist as I used to call her back then, and the girls had something to do in town, so I stayed around to enjoy myself."

"Wait, wait, back up." Rebecca crossed both her hands, "I knew Helga was a biker, but you guys didn't do anything like...actually illegal, did you?"

"To save you a whole lot of time, yes and no. We were on the road because of a dirty cop in Ohio, which is why neither she nor I can go back to the great potato state. But as for stuff on the road? Well we never dabbled in drugs, murder, or tried to rob anyone who didn't deserve it. We mostly just did odd jobs and gathered a crew of other ladies running away, willing to pull their own weight. Had plenty who told us to fuck off cause I had a dick. Plenty of those same bitches slumped back with their abusers and..." She sighed, "Sorry, that's a rant that's why off topic. Point is, we made a family of outcasts like us, and Milly was interested in joining. I was invested in her joining." And she'd almost challenged Helga for the leadership spot then because she couldn't bear the thought of the pig spending a night with Milly. Not that Rebecca needed to know that.

"So what happened?" The pitbull's tone grew soft and worried. "She joined, right?"

"Yeah...she did." Tabitha sipped from her glass like it was a shot of whiskey. "For a day. Then we lost her." Her grip against the glass tightened as the memory flooded back. Blood across the floor, the brown fur matted red, Tabitha's throat aching from her cries. "Spent a day in the slammer under suspicion. Turns out, it wasn't even related to us. Her boss just pissed off the wrong people, and they didn't know she'd just quit."

Rebecca froze, and she couldn't blame her. How was one supposed to react to this? Apologize for something they had no control over? Cuddle as though it'd make the pain go away? Tabitha didn't know, so she just kept talking, "We found the guys responsible. Didn't feel better after that. Visited her boss to see if that'd help. Didn't." Sighing heavily, she rested her glass on the table, "So I just kind of buried her, hoping it'd go away after awhile. Can't say I found gals very attractive after that, they all reminded me of her."

After a lengthy pause broken up by the soft munch of their shared breakfast, Rebecca spoke up. "I'm sorry," she said. Tabitha believed her, feeling the sincerity crash against her skin.

"It's ok. Sorry for spoiling the mood." She should have said no last night and left Rebecca with Helga and her girlfriend for a morning of, well whatever they planned to do. Would have been more exciting than being held by a crying woman and being told her life story the next day.

"You didn't," Rebecca lied, "Honestly, it's ok. Do you...do you have any plans for today?"

"Nope. Normally I'd be heading out to Hels' but traditions changed this year." She tried not to sound bitter about that, and wasn't completely sure if she succeeded. Tabitha had nothing against her best friend's relationship changing things up, that'd be hypocritical and Helga deserved happiness. They all did. "I figure I'm just going to stay in and relax. Maybe catch up on movies." Or research some gifts for her boys. Just because she couldn't spend the Holidays with them, doesn't mean she couldn't get them something.

"Well, you're free to join me at Amethyst's mom's place."

"I wouldn't want to be a bother," Tabitha explained. "That seems more like a family thing between Amethyst, her mom, Helga, and you. I'd just be sort of a tagalong."

"Join the club." Rebecca flashed a sad little smile, "I know they don't mean it, but I feel like a third wheel a lot when I'm with them." She stared off into space, with eyes that the wolverine had seen plenty of times.

"You're jealous of Amy?"

"Of Helga, actually." Rebecca showed no shame in admitting it. "I had a crush on Amy as soon as I met her. Developed an unhealthy idea of who she was in my head, and when I learned her relationship with Helga, I was knocked out, literally." She cracked a smile at herself. "Those two really love each other. The fact that they share that love with me is more than I deserve. Life wouldn't have been better if it came out like I wanted."

Was she supposed to hug the girl? Tabitha watched the pitbull, mulling about how to deal with what she just said. She'd been too socially blunt in the past, never developing how to help people with the real serious shit in their lives. Instead she sighed and pushed off the table. "When is the party? Late?" Rebecca nodded, "Well, why don't we watch a few movies to kill time, then make a decision? Got a favorite genre?"

Her precious blue eyes lit up, "How do you feel about horror?"

"You kidding?" The wolverine smirked, "The bloodier the better."

***

"Hand me that wrench, will you?" Tabitha eyed over the assortment of tools her brother had laid out. There were seven wrenches, all picked apart from different sets with varying degrees of rust and pant decay. One was bright pink, like it belonged in some workmans set for ladies. Why the ever flying fuck they needed to gender a woman's workset made no sense to her, but it pissed her off all the same.

"Here ya go, princess." She grinned, handing off the pink one.

"Don't call me that." He didn't look away from the bike motor, clasping the tool out of sight before tossing to the floor. "And not that one, the one farthest to the right."

"Sure thing, princess." She couldn't help it. The way her older brother returned a frazzled glare just had Tabitha feeling all warm and tingly inside. Besides, his friend's called him that, so why couldn't she? They were closer, that's what family was. He said nothing else when taking the wrench and twisting the nuts back into place. Tabitha still found it hard to believe that it'd been two months since she'd found the old bike frame in the junkyard. Now it looked like an actual bike, albeit one that belonged in the trash with mismatched fenders, a muffler too small for it, the handles of a BMX motocross with the engine of a highway monster.

There was a name. "So, what ya calling this thing?" She asked, tapping the wheel.

"It's just a bike, it doesn't need a name."

"You've been working on this for months and you haven't thought about naming it?" Tabitha pretended to be shocked, but it fit her brother's MO, Modus operendo she called it. "How about Frankenstien? Like the monster?"

"The monster wasn't named Frankenstein. He was Frankenstein's monster."

"Well they should have given him a name."

He nodded in agreement, then paused and stepped back to look over his creation. "That name might just fit. Let's see if it works." Tabitha hopped on, but Jamie caught her before she could sit, "No way."

"Why not?" She pouted, "You worried I'll break it?"

"I put this thing together with random parts and elbow grease. I'm worried it'll break you." Taking a seat, the older wolverine took a deep breath and pushed the key into the ignition. With another breath and a twist, the engine coughed and sputtered. Then it roared.

"It's alive!" Tabitha laughed, holding her hands up like a mad scientist, "It's alive!" Jamie's smile went ear to ear, body shaking in excitement and the click of the engine revving up. Then came a bang, like a gunshot echoing in Tabitha's ear. Another, and another, each weaker than the last until it finally stalled out.

"Fuck!" Her brother tossed the bike over and slammed his foot into a pile of spare parts. Tabitha stepped away from his tantrum. She knew Jamie would never hurt her, but enough nights at home had her hiding when voices flared. By the time he was finished, all the tools and parts he had set aside so neatly became the crime scene of a tornado.

"It worked." Tabitha said from her corner. "Maybe a few more days and you'll be ready to ride."

"It needs to be ready tonight. She needs-"

"What the fuck is going on in there?!" The heavy hand of their father shook their small shack as he slammed the door open. Big for a wolverine, his wide beer belly gut came into view long before he hunched over inside to see his two kids working with machinery. His hard hat batted against the ceiling as he towered over the two, arms crossed with a frustrated curl across his lips. "Where did you get this?"

"Found it," Jamie spoke up before Tabitha said anything, interposing himself between her and their father. "In the junkyard. Some parts in the north end, some in the south, bits and pieces here and there."

Their father looked it over with a face of disbelief at first. His face softened when he noticed how much of a hodgepodge the bike was. "So you put this thing together from scraps?" He almost sounded impressed. Jamie nodded, the strain of his father's presence rubbing off on Tabitha who found herself looking down at his work boots. Muddy and caked with bits of cement.

"Certainly don't look like no fairy bike."

"He's not a fairy!" Tabitha bit her lip the moment she said it. Jamie looked down on her, silently screaming that she shut up. Her father just cracked a grin, egging her on. "He's got a girlfriend, dad. He's taking her out soon!"

If looks could kill, her brother would have murdered her on the spot. Her father's might have resurrected her. "A girlfriend?" He smiled, "That so, boy? You got a girl?"

"I don't got a girl, dad. But we are dating."

"What's her name?"

"Abby..." He turned away and muttered, "Abby Finch."

"Finch? The rich mouse?" Their father laughed, planting a heavy hand against Jamie's shoulder, "You bagged a good one. Couldn't be more proud of ya." The two siblings blinked upon hearing those words. Their father's laughter had been directed at them, not with them. Tabitha wasn't sure if she liked it. "Glad you wised up and picked a girl. Not sure what some ritzy mouse sees in you, but we gotta make sure that your bike actually works. Hand me that wrench." When he didn't, their father took it alone and muttered at how he'd have to get Jamie a proper tool set. She scooted over to help, but he waved her off. "Tabby, the men are busy. Why don't you go bother your mom."

"I was helping already."

"No wonder it's a mess then." He laughed, "Your mom's gonna be cooking soon, help with that." She turned to Jamie for back up, but the daggers from her eyes told her enough. She wasn't sure why he was mad. Dad wasn't screaming at them for making a mess of his shack. That should have been a win.

It was only after dinner that he finally spoke up with her. "Don't you ever tell dad about my lovelife, ya hear me?" He shoved her against the bed. "Ever!"

Tabitha grabbed his arm and twisted it. Small as she was, of the two of them she knew how to wrestle. "What's the big deal?" She argued, tripping him into the bed and locking his arm underneath her weight, "Dad thinks you like girls now. We both know you do."

Whatever strength Jamie had left his body, his head slumping into the pillow. "He thinks it was a choice. Like I chose to kiss David last summer cause I was confused."

"Didn't sound confused then." Tabitha remembered how red Jamie got thinking about the lynx.

"I wasn't. And I'm not now. At least, I think I'm not." She let go, leaving her brother to turn back around and massage his arm. "You of all people should know what it's like, being attracted to both."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, hands at her hips.

He shook his head, "Right, guess puberty hasn't hit yet. Just don't mention who I'm dating. Last thing I need is dad's wooing lessons."

***

"I swear, those special-effects artists are fucking insane," Tabitha cackled, one hand on the wheel, the other resting between the space separating her and the young pitbull as they drove off into the snow. "Christ, it's been too long since I've watched a practical head pop off. Way too much CGI nowadays, gives off that weird...fuck, what's it called."

"Uncanny valley?" Rebecca pitched in, ears perked. They had been since the first movie, Blood Gulch 4. Their horror movie marathon hadn't gotten very far, but seeing the classic Nightmare on Elm street and the Midsommar movie made their Christmas day more eventful than Tabitha expected.

"Right, yes, that!" The wolverine snapped her fingers, "Was on the tip of my tongue. And it's not like I'm against your basic CGI bullshit, but you gotta have practical effects to back it up. Otherwise you get a bunch of shit that just lacks weight, like most of the Alita fights."

"You saw Alita?"

"It was a slow day." Tabitha blushed, "I figured it'd be a good action film. But the fights just felt too lackluster. Like Pacific Rim 2 being too fast and nimble. Plus some of the characters were dumb, like that final scene."

Rebecca nodded, "Yeah. Though apparently it was a shot for shot remake from the original manga."

"No shit?"

"Yeah. Never read it, and probably won't. But I gotta respect Robert Rodriguez for going that far." This fact, along with many others, came from the pitbull throughout the day. Tabitha wasn't normally one to talk over films. She reacted, calling character's out on dumb decisions and shouting out when something awesome happened, all within the comfort of her own home. But never held conversations during it, that was rude. Something about the pitbull's encyclopedic or trivia focused knowledge had her ignoring the rudeness of it all. Maybe it was the passion she spoke with, like how her two boi's got lost in their nerd games like Shadowrun or Magic. Or maybe it was because Rebecca, and not the memories of Milly, was cute in her own way.

If she was the same age, they'd have been friends. Tabitha shook her head, they were friends now. What else would she call someone who decided to stay over after a booty call and watch hours of horror movies? Certainly not an acquaintance.

The two story house of Amethyst's mother pulled into view. Tabitha blinked when she saw it, trying to picture what exactly the lady did to afford a nice place with only one kid. The wolverine wasn't jealous, she grew up knowing how much space she really needed and had plenty of extra in her own one story house. But something just had her running numbers at the sight of the place.

From the lights, and Helga's own car, Tabitha figured they'd arrived a little later than expected. Helga did text Rebecca when they were three-fourths done with the movie. "Well, here's where you get off," The wolverine said, rolling up to the side.

The pitbull made her way out of the car, but stopped with the door open, letting the cold air in and bristling Tabitha's fur. "You know, you can park on the sidewalk. Not like there's a fire hydrant you can block," She said carefully.

She knew what the girl was asking. Still didn't feel right for her. "I don't want to be a bother. I wasn't invited."

"Who would you be bothering?" Rebecca asked. "Helga is your best friend, and there's no way Amy dislikes you. That just leaves her mom, and if she's fine with an older woman sleeping with her daughter then she'll be fine with you visiting."

Rebecca had a point, but the biting cold hampered it. "Look, it's not my place, alright? This is for family, and you're closer to being part of that than I am."

The pitbull blinked and tilted her head, ears dropping, "I've only been living with Helga and Amy for half a year. You've known her for what, two decades?" Tabitha shrugged, she hadn't kept track of the exact number. "You sure you don't want to come in?"

"I'm sure, yeah. I'd basically be inviting myself, and maybe...I'd basically be inviting myself." She didn't want to imply that the pitbull shouldn't invite her. Six months wasn't enough to make you family. Or maybe it was and Tabitha was just finding excuse after excuse. "Look, I had a great time. If you wanna do something like this again, just send me a text or something. Merry Christmas."

It wasn't until after Tabitha drove off that she realized they never exchanged numbers. Not that it mattered, Helga had her number, so she could give it away if Rebecca asked. And she would, at least, the wolverine hopped so. She was nice to have around, not as nice as her Kathoey, but there was less guilt involved with the pitbull than the wah.

Checking her phone at the stop sign, she found one text from the red panda. A simple 'Merry Christmas, Mistress' sent in the morning. Christ, she left it on read the entire day, no doubt driving the sissy insane.

She sat back at the stop sign, staring blank at the message and then back to the house.

***

"You drop this on Christmas!" Her father shouted. Tabitha huddled in the bathroom of the trailer, hand gripped tight over the stupid barbie doll her mother had given her. If it could breathe behind those false lips, she knew it'd be struggling and looking up in fear, unaware that the only mercy the young wolverine would give is a swift death of her head popping off.

But this Christmas wasn't about the stupid toys her mother shoved down her throat. No, her brother made this Christmas all about him and his decision to join the military. Something she was surprised to find their father disagreed with.

"Thought you'd be happy! You said you wanted me to make something of myself."

"As in getting a fucking job! Not signing yourself up for more debt and a gun so you can go kill people overseas!"

"I'm going in for engineering! It'll pay for college!"

"Fuck college!" Her father's fist slammed against the counter, "It's just more debt. You think you're gonna be better than me with that noose tied around your neck?"

Whatever bits and details Tabitha heard didn't add up, but her father wasn't known for making sense when mad. He just liked being angry, riling up his blood pressure to scream and make people cower underneath him. She'd heard that too much anger could kill a person, and often imagined him keeling over after one too many shouts.

No such luck today.

"Fuck you!" Jamie shouted, "I can make my own choices. I'm a goddamn adult."

"Then get the fuck out of my house!"

"It's a fucking trailer on a lot. Barely a house, dad."

"I said out!" Their father's roar shook the trailer. "Go sleep with that beard of yours!" Her ears twitched at the heavy stomps, followed by an earth shattering slam of the thin frame door. Immediately the young wolverine pulled up the window and snuck out, crashing into the cold, hard, and frosty white ground outside. Rolling up, she chased out after her brother, who had his hands stuck deep inside his heavy jacket.

She tackled him. Her little body slamming into the older wolverine like a cannonball in revolutionary times, knocking him against the ground. "Take me with you." Her claws grabbed his coat collar and forced him up to her. "Don't you dare fucking leave me with them." The icy winds brushed against her tears, turning her cheeks numb.

There wasn't any anger in her brother's eyes. Only exhaustion. It wasn't the first time they had this conversation, and Tabitha feared it'd be the last. "I can't. Army doesn't accept minors."

"Then let me stay at your girlfriend's." Her claws dug deeper into his jacket, "You two have a place big enough. I can just crash on the couch. Or in the shack. It's not like she ever goes into your backyard."

"Tabs."

"You can't just leave me!" She whined, "You can't just leave me with them. You know what it's like, being forced to act like someone else to make them happy. So you can't, you honest to God can't just abandon me to them." Tears fell against his coat. She held on for dear life, knowing the moment she let go, he'd be gone forever.

"Tabs!" His shout hooked her in. She stared down at his determined, if not tired eyes, "I'm not abandoning you, but I can't live there anymore."

"So let me come with." She begged through sniffles.

"She doesn't like you."

"Then fuck her!" She hated that rich bitch of a girlfriend. "It's your house, right? Just kick her out. She can live with the family that actually likes her."

"You know it's not my house. She pays the rent."

"Then fuck you!" She railed, kicking off of him. "Fuck you, fuck dad, fuck mom, fuck your girlfriend, and fuck the army. Fuck every-" His arms clasped around her, the warm embrace shielding her from the cold. Half of her wanted to sink into him, bury her running face into his chest to avoid the chill of Christmas Day. The other wanted to pull away, defiant to any attempt for him to salvage this. She froze with indecision, until her need for warmth won out in the end. She'd forgotten to bring a jacket for herself.

"Let's just get you inside. You're gonna freeze out here." She wouldn't budge. "Tabs, don't do this."

"Promise me you'll come back." Her head clutched against his chest.

"Of course I'm gonna come back. I get time after basic training."

She forced her head deeper against him, hiding her tears. Yeah, he'd be back but she'd still be without him. "I can't just stay here. You know what it's like." Tabitha didn't want to suggest the obvious. Without him, their parents would focus all their attention on her and she couldn't deal with that. Tabitha wasn't strong enough for it.

His hand brushed her headfur softly as he sighed. "We can try to figure something out, ok? Maybe if you're quiet enough, you can hang out in the shack. I'm sure I can find a space heater or something."

It wasn't perfect, or even ideal, but Tabitha preferred it over another day with her parents. "Your girlfriend is out of the house right? Spending time with family?" He nodded. "Good. Cause I'm not letting you go until then."

"Course not." With a grunt, he hauled her up by the ass and carried her against his chest. Most days she hated being carried like this, to be reminded how small and weak she was in comparison. But today, she cuddled into him and drifted.

"Merry Christmas, bro."

***

Tabitha blinked, and the stop sign was still there. No one was behind her, judging by a quick glance at the rearview mirror. Just the wolverine and the running of her car's engine, all alone on Christmas.

She thought of her brother's dogtags back home. The only thing she had left of him after he went to Iraq. How many Christmases did she spend at his home? Cooped up in that shack when his girlfriend was around. How many...she sighed, where was she going with this? "This fucking holiday," Tabitha mumbled, tired and frustrated with herself on the crushing weight of loneliness. The wolverine thought she'd adapted, but one day hanging out with a cute girl and suddenly she couldn't stand being alone anymore.

No, Rebecca wasn't the cause. Hanging out with Collin and Justin lightened her mood, whether or not they dressed up as Kathoey and Justine. And, much as she hated to admit it, she was jealous of Amy's relationship to Helga. The closest thing she had to a sister, taken away by a lover. Fuck, it was Jamie all over again.

'Cept Amethyst didn't hate her.

"Don't be a cowardly little bitch." She drove back around and parked at the edge of the house. Cold evening wind nipped at her face as Tabitha's boots crunched through the snow. She kicked off the frozen powder at the doorstep, took a deep breath, and rang the bell.