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The Compassionate Nuoevan

Kilkaja

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** ** George saved my life, and I was grateful for it. But I felt like I was burdening him.

But then, what could I do? If I went on my own, I would not even survive. If I did not know how to feel their emotions, we might be dead right now. George was a better fighter than me, and he clearly showed that.

However, George was a kind person. He did not try to blame me despite me screwing up. Maybe the other kind of his race…uh, hu-man, were as kind? I wouldn’t count on that. George did tell me later that Earth was just like any other planet: some were kind, some were jerks, and some were just plain evil. For him, that made things more interesting. I might need to learn more than just reading emotions.

Anyway, the planet we were in was rather humid and hot to the point I took off my cloak. I wasn’t really wearing much, only a cloak over a pair of shorts. It was how Nuoevans usually clothed…well, the free ones, anyway. The slaves did not even wear anything except the minimum to cover their genitals or whatever their master gave them. For me, it was a rather new feeling to be covered with clothes.

Then I realized there were a lot more problems I unintentionally gave to George. I was a former Nuoevan slave with no knowledge to defend myself except sensing emotions, in addition to being photosensitive. I could not see anything if was too bright, and that was the situation that I was into. George realized this and guided me towards a more shaded area in the forest nearby, where I could finally open my eyes. I really should consider getting sunglasses for this.

But then, unlike then, this time, I realized something. I was the one who would be able to know if we were being attacked or not, as George reminded me of it when we were drying our clothes. I must admit. The thought being depended upon felt rather overwhelming at first. I had never had this kind of experience happened to me before. But then, George’s presence and his assurance that we’d be fine were…rather inspiring. George had given me some good talk about believing myself, and for the most part, I believed.

Thus, I concentrated. If I sense a sliver of emotion, any emotions, I could simply warn George. His gun-sword was always on the ready. I could try and help, but I felt that I would only cause more problem.

While we walked, George concentrated on both my warning and the pathfinder device. Our mission was to assess the situation. We could just get back to the ship and hope the others could meet us there. However, we could also get to the colony’s coordinate since it was closer. Still, there was a chance that the colony would be a temporary base, given its abandoned status. I trusted George’s judgement, so I felt he would know what’s up.

As we walked through the forest, we could hear noises of fights and energy weapons being shot. I could even sense a variety of emotions, ranging from fear to anger. We clearly landed in the middle of a fight. Our involvement, however, would depend on the people fighting.

“We clearly got ourselves too involved,” said George. “Have you ever heard about the Saukauri?”

“You’re asking the wrong person,” I said. I did not know anything about things outside what I was given, so I could not answer that question.

“I could read the tab later, but we’re far from it right now,” he said. “Just stay close to me and tell me if we’re near someone.”

I nodded. I trusted George and I hoped he knew that I could not fight. It was rather sad, but I couldn’t do anything then.

We were trying our best to stay alert and silent. We wouldn’t want to draw anyone to our position. George even said that he’d prefer stay out of the fighters’ business, knowing that they had interfered by going on the planet. However, that was if things went according to plan. It wasn’t .

It was a good thing we were alert. Still, that did not really help me, given that I was startled too easily. As we walked, either one of us triggered something that caused a dead body to fall from the trees. I quickly screamed in surprise and walked away, but George, who was ready to shoot the dead body, looked at it again and said, “It’s dead.”

“It’s still very surprising,” I said. I slowly approached George and looked at the body

It was a reptilian humanoid with the head of a snake. George looked at it and said, “A cobra. Damn. So, this is a Saukauri.” He seemed to be talking to himself and get to the conclusion that the body was a Saukauri. The body was rather unnerving to look at, even if it was reptilian and not a Nuoevan. I’d freak out if it was a Nuoevan.

“How can you act so calm in front of a dead body?” I said.

“Because unlike the others, this snake-headed Lizan or whatever you called it is dead. It can’t attack us.”

That sounded like a logical response. Still, the fact that the reptilian was dead still unnerved me. I had seen death, and it wasn’t pleasant.

We got into another surprise when I felt someone owning a particularly strong emotion ran towards us. I tried to warn George, but he was already alerted by the noise of bushes rustling as this unknown person came. He implored me to get behind him as the head of the person came out of the bushes, pointing at us with his…wrist?

Like the dead Saukauri, this one also had a snake head complete with a hood. His yellow reptilian eyes glared at us as he kept whatever his weapon was fixated on us. I could also see that he was rather tribal looking, given that he wore a rather revealing armor that did not cover much of his body except parts that might compromise him, such as his groins and his chest. The rest were left bare, showing off his green scales.

“What the hell?” he said, surprised. “Who the fuck are you?!”

“I can ask you the same question, too, Saukauri,” said George.

“It’s Saukaur,” he corrected. “You’re not supposed to be here. We are fighting against the coalition.”

“How the hell should we know? Is there a sign up there in space?”

“A sign? What…oh. Yeah, that’s anyone’s fault that this point. You’re not safe out here.”

“Yeah, it’s obvious, isn’t it? Just one question, though. Are you going to be a friend or a foe?”

“Does it matter? You two are clearly outsiders and you got yourselves involved. Come on, follow me.”

I could sense his emotions. Like us, he did not trust us the slightest. He was clearly expecting us to jump at him. Knowing that it would be a problem, a walked in front of George and said, “We’re not your enemies, Saukaur. We have no intention in causing you harm.”

“Says who?” he said.

“Someone who knows that you don’t trust us,” I said, mustering my courage. “We can’t think of each other as enemies. Trust us.”

The Saukaur was confused with my actions, but he sighed and said, “Just follow me and don’t wander off.”

He seemed to trust us a little after that, though not completely. I felt like I was helping, somehow, but that came out weird.

Walking through the forest in full alert seemed to strain both of their concentrations. I could feel how they were feeling: fear, but also determination to survive. I wondered how they could be strong if they were scared. Why scared if you could act like you know how to fight? Was that the quality needed to survive?

Curious, I approached George and asked him why, to which he said, “Fear gives us the incentive to survive. If we don’t have any fear, we’re nothing but suicidal idiots who throw lives like they’re an object. That’s what my foster parent used to say.”

“Foster…parent?”

“I lost my real parents back during a devastating war on my world,” he said. “I was one of many orphans adopted by kind Order members who understood our plight. Well, it also had an effect on how I grew up. It’s pretty much why I wanted to be a dragon rider so bad. I wanted to fly with them.”

“Isn’t that why ships are invented?” I said.

“Ships may have personality, but they are not living beings. Dragons and wyverns are and flying with them give them a familiar feeling. Some would argue that it can also apply to machine enthusiasts, but for me, I prefer a more colorful one, something with more personality than just a pre-programmed one. Except I don’t really go with horses. They don’t talk to you.”

“That’s one hell of a world, huh?” said the Saukaur. “I wonder. What’s your race?”

“Human.”

“Not something I ever heard before,” he said.

“I get that a lot. I’m not someone anyone knows, either.”

The Saukaur contemplated a bit, before he said, “Ah. Pre-space. Guess that explains that weird sword.”

“It’s not weird. It’s conventional.”

Their banter seemed to ease things up a bit, which eased mine too. The drawback of being an empath was that you also sensed their emotions as if they were yours, which could be a problem if the feeling was particularly strong.

At this point, I had no training on how to stop my empathic ability to overwhelm my emotions, or even any psychic powers drawn from suffering. I could sense the suffering of the combatants in the forest, and I could feel my mind clearer as they fought, but I had no way to utilize them. I had just been freed from the dampening collar and I was learning myself from the start. Everything felt new for me.

We walked and walked through the forest, still in full alert. The Saukaur helped us avoid conflicts whenever possible, ordering us to get down and hide when he saw fighting. After it was clear, he quickly told us to follow him.

“How long has this war been going?” asked George.

“Not long. Only a week or so,” said the Saukaur. “This planet is a strategic point where we can set up a forward base against the coalition. I really wish the Felinians could help us, but they are being caught up somewhere else and we lost our supplies early in the fight. Now, we’re fighting a rather pointless fight.”

“You’re at war with the Felinians?” I asked.

“We were, but our faction has been trying to end it. Not everyone agrees on that, though. Hence this fight,” he said. “And something that you two need to get away from.”

“We’d love to, but we have a reason to be here,” said George. “Have you seen an abandoned colony somewhere in the forest? Presumably Vyrnian?”

“That’s our base,” he said.

“Found anything interesting in there?”

“If there is, only Vyrnians can access them,” said the Saukaur. “We have been trying to make a makeshift comm to contact our ship, but given that it’s Vyrnian, we have no luck.”

“We…might be able to help,” I said. “When we got here, we…didn’t know that there’s a fight going on. I…well, I got myself caught in the mine. We got separated as we were attacked.”

“You’re lucky you still got your legs,” said the Saukaur. “The mines they use can bypass some shield and kill you instantly. Guess your Vyrnians are that good, huh?”

We wanted to say that a Felinian was involved, but before that could happen, he told us to get out of sight again. A Saukaur patrol passed by us, hissing. They were rather tense and alert, much like us.

After it was clear, the Saukaur continued his journey. I could see that he was walking towards the colony and we were getting closer and closer to it, according to our pathfinder device. Before long, we finally got into a clearing, where he stopped us from going further.

“Wait here,” he said.

He walked forward, slowly. At this point, I could see his tail, which was tipped with some rattle that was rattling rapidly, giving out a distinctive noise that sounded like a garden sprinkler. I once worked as an assistant gardener and not knowing about the sprinkler, I got myself soaked. Well, given my status as a slave, I was not wearing anything, and the supervisor did not care. I was forced to continue working still soaked. It was not a good memory, as that day was chilly.

I could hear the noise again, this time coming from the middle of the clearing where we could see several buildings, presumably the colony. I felt relieved, thinking that it was a safe place. Of course, I did not know anything about being wary of anything. Not yet, at least.

“Come,” said the Saukaur. “Follow me. They know it’s me.”

“So, you’re a cobra and a rattlesnake?” said George. I did not understand what he meant, and neither did the Saukaur.

“What?” he said in confusion.

“Well, on my planet, you look like those venomous snakes,” said George. “Except you’re human-sized and you have limbs.”

“Then it’s easier to explain what we are to you, then,” said the Saukaur. “For a pre-space, you sure feel like home out here, huh?”

“I really hope so.”

As we walked closer and closer to the colony, we were met with another Saukaur who looked just like the Saukaur that saved us. At first, I thought they were identical, given that I did not know how to differentiate one Saukaur with another. It turned out they were identical, down to their height and appearance.

The Saukaur greeted the one who guided us. He then said, “Seth! By Stygis, I thought I lost you!”

“I gave you a promise, didn’t I, Ash? We will get out of this together.”

“I really hope I shared your optimism right now, bro.” He then leaned over and looked at us. “Who are they?”

“Explorers. Didn’t know the state of the planet.”

“Things have been so fucked up that no one bothered to put up a sign,” said Ash with a sigh. “From the look of it, the cream-skinned know how to fight, but the Nuoevan does not. Come on, you two. Come in.”

“Thanks,” said George as we walked with them.

“Anyway, I’m Astha,” said Ash. “Volunteer. My brother’s too. His name’s Sethis.”

“Heya,” said Sethis.

“Is it just me, or are you two…?”

“Identical? Yup. We hatched from the same big egg,” said Astha. “Identical twins.”

“But different in many aspects,” said Sethis.

“Yet reliable to each other,” finished Astha.

I did not understand twins, but I could sense that their minds were linked. It’s like a very low-level psychic link that only gave them a sense of connection and an unconscious communication between them. I guessed that’s the reason why they looked identical.

“Anyway, we are what’s left of the volunteer group,” said Astha. “We’re pretty much relegated to reserve at this point.”

“Or cannon fodder,” said Sethis. “Any luck?”

“Like I said,” said Astha. “Unless anyone’s eight feet tall with wings and a little knowledge with holographic interface, we’re fucked.”

“And these guys claimed that they come with Vyrnians,” said Sethis. He turned towards us and said, “Whatever you need to do to call your Vyrnian friends, do it now.”

“Movement in the forest!” exclaimed one of them. The rest quickly went to position and pointed their wrist-mounted gun towards the forest. I wasn’t sure what happened, but George seemed to know what to do. He approached Sethis and said, “Your enemies?”

“No. There’s no rattle,” said Sethis. “It’s not even a Saukaur.”

“Eight feet tall with wings?” said George.

“No. Same height as you and me.”

I was the first to know what Sethis was talking about. The only other person in our group that’s roughly our size was a Felinian.

“Sel,” I said. “George, it could be Sel.”

“There’s only one way to find out,” said George before he proceeded to shout, “Sel! Is that you?!”

There was a delay before we heard a feminine voice replying to George’s call.

“Atmell?” shouted Sel’s voice.

“It’s alright!” said George. He turned to Sethis and said, “Let me get her.”

“I’m going with you.”

I could only watch as they approached the source of Sel’s voice slowly. I could sense a scared and aware person within the forest approaching George and Sethis. Before long, I could see Sel’s bright eyes from the darkness of the forest. However, when she saw Sethis, she quickly brandished her rifle, prompting Sethis to do the same with his wrist gun.

“Get away from the Saukaur, Atmell!” she shouted.

“Whoa, wait!” said George. “He saved us!”

“I don’t take chances with a Saukaur! Where are the others?”

“Kilkaja’s with me,” said George. “Sel, he’s a friendly. Just lower your weapon. Please.”

“We’re not with the coalition, Felinian,” said Sethis. “We’re your allies.”

“Oh, I know your civil war, Saukaur. I am fully aware of that. But, do you really think I am going to forgive you for destroying my life in the first place?!”

“Look,” said George, trying to defuse the situation. “Whoever wronged you in the past are clearly not these Saukaurs.”

“You don’t understand, George.”

“I get the idea, so calm down,” said George. “We are in the middle of the battlefield. They are ready to shoot anyone and anything, including a hostile Felinian. You won’t gonna survive this, so don’t provoke them. Please.”

George was right. Words could be the best weapon, even better than punches and swords. I could sense Sel’s erratic emotions started to mellow out, but I could still sense a constant anger as she looked at Sethis, who looked at her with confusion. I guessed something did happened in the past between Sel and the Saukaurs. Something traumatic.

I quickly walked towards her. She looked at me and her expression changed again, this time to relief. I found myself being hugged by her, causing me to feel her soft Felinian fur on my bare skin.

“You’re fine,” she said with a sigh. “I’m…I’m so glad.”

“George saved me,” I said.

“Yeah. I know how reliable he is.” Sel turned and looked at Sethis, who was talking to one of his comrades. I could feel her emotions started to boil again, but I kept it cool.

“It’s no use being angry to them,” I said. “They’re also afraid.”

Sel wanted to say something, but then relented and instead said, “I’ll…tell you about my history with the Saukaurs one day. Just…let me stay away from them. Looking at those serpents make uncomfortable.”

I understood. Anything traumatic would not work well for her and seeing the Saukaurs did not help.

She called George and told us to walk somewhere within the colony, away from the Saukaurs and where we could safely talk. After she had determined that we were out of earshot, she said, “What happened to you? How did you stumble upon them?”

“We were forced to jump into the water to lose them,” I said. “It was freezing cold and I was blinded by the bright daylight.”

“Sethis helped us get out of sight. I did not know why he was out here, but he was willing to risk his lives to get us here. And before you say anything, no. Even if he’s a snake, I know he’s not malicious.”

“You don’t know what I had gone through, Atmell,” said Sel, who seemed rather vulnerable. “You just don’t.”

“And I got the idea, Sel,” said George, trying to calm her. “So, whatever you do, don’t antagonize them too much. We finally got to our objective and it’s the safest place around here. Now, I know you’ll hate this, but we need their help again.”

“For what?” said Sel.

“Arcturus and Zarya,” said George. “Or, have you forgotten about them?”

“We were…separated. I couldn’t find my way. I lost my pathfinder device when I was ambushed by some of the soldiers. I managed to get away, but I did not know where they could be.”

“And it’s getting dark soon,” said George as he looked up to the sky. “I can use my pathfinder to find them, but no one knows this forest better than those Saukaurs.”

Sel sighed. I felt like she wanted to say something, presumably something to try and dissuade George from asking the Saukaurs for help. She clearly felt that arguing with someone who did not know about her past was pointless, so she simply shrugged and said, “Do whatever you want. Just…let me stay out of this.”

“Yeah. Take care of Kilkaja for me, will you?” he said.

George seemed to know it was for the best. Every time Sel looked at one of those Saukaurs, she started to show how much she hated them and how uncomfortable she was around them. The fact that I could sense her emotions made me feel her pain. She was clearly not that good in hiding it.

Then, as she struggled to control herself, her hatred opened a traumatic past that was once hidden. A past that was full of suffering, hate, and disgrace. She clearly had a good reason to hate Saukaurs, but unless she talked to us about it, we could not help her. I wanted to help her, but I also felt that she did not really want to talk about her past, especially not to me.

As George talked with Sethis, one of the Saukaurs found us. Sel turned away as she saw him, leaving me to talk with the Saukaur.

“Hey, we got some food from our hunt,” he said. “Wanna join us?”

I turned to Sel, who simply do not want to see the Saukaur. I sighed and said, “I guess I’m hungry.”

“Is she…okay?”

“Leave her be,” I said, sympathetic. “Things have been rough for her. I’ll…go back later, Sel.”

Sel did not reply or make a gesture, leaving me to follow the Saukaur and joined the others for a hearty meat soup. I never thought I’d eat a warm food made from fresh ingredients. It was rather…warming. The Saukaurs were also friendly enough to talk to me, even though one of them admitted to be rather uncomfortable around a Nuoevan due to…well, due to our way of drawing power.

The day slowly turned to dark as I took one of the bowl full of soup back to Sel, who was cleaning the energy rifle she was carrying and checking the charge. I tapped her shoulder and said, “I got you a bowl. Eat some. It’s good.”

Good thing her aversion towards Saukaurs did not extend to her hatred of their food. She clearly had no problem taking the bowl from me. As she slowly ate the soup, she said, “Don’t worry about me. Just…talk to them. I’m fine.”

“Sel, I…”

“It’s not going to be a problem. They’re kind enough to let you eat their food. I…can’t. I just can’t.”

“Are you going to be alright?”

“Yeah,” said Sel with a smile, which I knew was forced based on her emotions. I just gave her a smile and slowly walked away from her. She returned to her rifle and the soup, and while she was doing them, I felt her emotions. It was that of sadness. What would make her sad?

I walked back to the Saukaur group and met Astha, who had just finished doing his rounds. He stumbled upon me and said, “I really need another race to talk to, and you happen to be one.”

“Where’s George?”

“Making a plan to find your other friends,” he said. “Seth’s good at that, and I trust him. Your human friend’s also reliable enough. Can’t say the same with your Felinian friend, though.”

“She’s been through a lot,” I said, even though I did not know what she had gone through.

“Yeah, I can see that. She seems to have a bad past with us. I don’t know what, but I don’t really want to talk to her about it. She might not even want to.”

“I can sense something beyond her hatred,” I said. “Something dark and full of suffering.”

“Oh, right. Natural-born sadists,” said Sethis with a smile. “That’s what you are, right?”

“Can’t deny that. We are also empaths, if you want to know,” I said, feeling confident about it. “But no. Knowing her, she wouldn’t have any kind of emotional trauma from those kinds of death. No, this felt very personal, and something that she does not want to talk about lightly.”

“I have an idea of what it is, but I don’t want to be wrong,” said Astha. “This is a big galaxy. Life shapes us in many ways, and things might not even be right. Things have not been right for us ever since we got ourselves into this mess. Volunteers, my ass. All they want are sacrificial meat so they can work their strategies out.”

“Is it…really that bad?”

Astha sighed. “Bad, good. Does it even matter? All that matters are whether we will see another day. The war has turned into something of a chaos. Families are torn apart. Friends become enemies. It even forced them to show their true faces, and not all of them are good. I am lucky to have my bro at my side. Being twins make it easier to connect and understand each other. Others? Not so much. Our group’s close because we all want to get the hell out of this fucking planet, and just live to see another day.”

“I…think I understand,” I said.

“It’s not too hard to understand,” said Astha. “Even outsiders like you know life and death, right?”

“And I know emotions, so I know more than just life and death,” I said. Wow, I was boasting. I was really boasting about myself.

“Yeah, well, empaths know more, right?” said Astha. “So, about this colony. I heard from the human. Is there really information regarding the Vyrnians?”

“They have found some answers to the mysteries of the Exodus, or so I heard,” I said. “They felt they might find something in this colony.”

“I know the Exodus. Saukaurs maintained a close relationship and respect towards Vyrnians, but that’s only because they gave us an ultimatum to stay out of their inhabited planets or get fucked. Not sure what’s the formal words are, but they’re serious about it.”

From the look of it, their war was too chaotic for the Vyrnians to even try to help. In fact, I believed that they tried to help, but the Saukaurs either betrayed that trust, or they were beyond help. I really wanted to imagine how the serpent alien could cause the Vyrnians so much trouble while they were wearing a tribal armor and fighting with swords.

I wanted to talk with Astha more about the Saukaurs as I was curious about their ways and the history of their civil war, but I somehow doubted Astha knew more than what he could tell me. And besides, he was rather busy, so I decided to just leave him alone and let him return to his job.

The other Saukaurs seemed to be rather kind towards me and some of them asked why I was even here on the planet. I could not answer many of their questions, but I felt they understood, even if they understood that I was an outsider. So, to make things easier for me, I decided to return to Sel. I wanted to sleep, but the darkness in her heart and her suffering put my mind in unease. I could not just ignore someone who’s distressed. It’s not right.

When I returned to her, she had finished the bowl she ate and had started to try and relax. She was still tense and uncomfortable being near the Saukaurs that I felt that she might start to panic. I knew that I was the only one around that could try and comfort her, so I did.

“How’s the soup?” I asked.

“It’s…decent,” she said. “But it’s enough to fill me for the night.”

“Oh…that’s good, I guess.”

We sat side by side in silence before she started talking.

“Do you…think that I’m going too far?” she said. “I was going to kill that Saukaur unprovoked. That was very stupid of me.”

“You did not pull the trigger,” I said. “You have all the chance to do it, but you did not. That shows me that you still know control.”

“It’s good if you feel that way,” she said.

“I know what you feel, Sel. But, without proper training, I cannot even control what I can and cannot feel. It’s starting to overwhelm me with emotions.”

“Did you…sense something inside me?”

“I know you’re suffering.”

“You can sense suffering. My suffering,” said Sel with a sigh.

“What did the Saukaurs do to you?”

“I prefer not to tell,” she said. “And you don’t have to guess. Knowing you, it’s not going to work well with your empathic abilities.”

“I might learn about it someday, Sel. Even so…why would they do it?”

“Because they could,” said Sel short. “It was shortly after I left my family to pursue my own path. I got involved with some Saukaurs that were frustrated. I was…just that unfortunate.”

The feeling of pain and traumatic past started to pour out of her. It started to overwhelm me as I felt tears swelling in my eyes. Sel noticed this and said, “I’m sorry. I did not mean to…”

“No, I’m fine,” I said with a sniffle. “I understand. Please, don’t stop. You need this more than I do.”

Sel sighed. “Thank you,” she said, before she continued.

“The worse thing is, I couldn’t even fight back. I wasn’t as well-trained as I am now, and I was still young back then. Michl’s crew was not even around when it happened. Of course, I tried to exact revenge, but before I could, they were gone. I wandered the sectors to find them, but back then I felt that joining a pirate crew would give me more chance to do so. Of course, my aversion towards them cost me the respect I needed to stay with Michl. Michl herself understood my plight, but she cared more about money than the crew’s welfare. Getting involved with her was the start of everything…including meeting Zarya’s crew. I’ve…never been involved with the Saukaurs as much as I am now. I really wish I could just try and run back to the ship, but I know it’s stupid. I can also tell that Atmell might not like it, either. But I just can’t get over it. I just…can’t.”

At this point, I felt her outpouring could start to drown me. The emotions I felt and her attempt to suppress it was enough to cause me to start being overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions, ranging from sadness, fear, regret, and most prominent of all, hatred. Accompanying all that was the psychological suffering of a traumatized Felinian. I knew this sounded so wrong, but I could feel my mind started to clear, and even expand. I felt like I could do a powerful psychic ability against our enemies. However, it was at the expense of Sel, which was the reason why I felt it was wrong.

So, disregarding all the mix of emotions and even her suffering, I tried to calm her down, both for myself and her.

“I…can’t pretend to understand why you act like this,” I said. “I may know your emotions and your traumatic past, but I did not experience it firsthand. However, I can tell you this. Not all of them are bad. Even Nuoevans are not all bad.”

“I tried to think about it that way, but every time I see those serpentine faces, I…I feel like I am going to take a gun and shoot it to get it away from my sight.” Sel then sighed. “And until now, I can’t even trust myself to sleep near a Saukaur. No matter how much you convince me otherwise, I can’t see past their reptilian visage. All I see…is my vulnerability.”

For the first time since I’ve known Sel, she shed a tear. She started to lose her attempt to act strong. And from that, she started to feel her own past, apparently remembering why she was involved with us in the first place, and the suffering she endured to be the Felinian that she was now. Of course, I never felt better. My mind was clear. However, I also knew that this was wrong. It felt more like a drug than genuine satisfaction. If I did not control it, it could become an addiction, and I would be no better than those who tortured and enslaved me.

Thus, ignoring the refreshing feeling, I hugged Sel. She was surprised by this. I could tell. However, the Felinian understood what I was trying to do, and slowly accepted my hug. I could sense her suffering slowly dissipated, and with it, the fresh feeling. I did not care. All I wanted was to see her comforted, so that I would feel fine, too. It did work, given how her emotions changed. Along with that, she also started crying silently.

“No one have ever hugged me like that,” said Sel while wiping her tears. “It felt so…foreign to me, yet so comforting. But…why? It’s against what the Nuoevans are, right?”

“I know it feels great. But…it’s nothing but a lie. I don’t want to see you sad, Sel. My heart…and my empathic link…won’t permit it. I’d prefer to see you smile…than to see you suffer.”

Sel then smiled. “You really are a different Nuoevan, Kilkaja. If I met you a long time ago, my life would be different. It’s a little late, but I’m glad it’s not too late.”

“You and me both.”

By then, I could feel a growing emotion; the emotion of love. It started to replace all her other emotions and it…it felt so great. It’s like a light in the darkness of this world, even stronger than the suffering of others. It’s full of warmth.

Still, even with all that outpouring of emotions, I was still worried with our situation, and also with Arcturus and Zarya. I talked to her about this, and she said, “I know they won’t be killed that easily. George and the Saukaurs will find them.”

That remark made me glad for many reasons, though primarily, it was the start of her own way to let the past go…and embrace the future.

Before long, we started to be tired. The clearing had a rather comfortable grass to sleep in, and the night was pretty warm. Sel started to sleep, too, and she wanted me to hug him. I complied, trying to make her comfortable despite of my lack of fur and the sharp claws I had.

It felt like hugging a fur pillow. Her fur-covered body was so soft and fluffy, calming me as my worries slowly went away. I focused on Sel’s emotions, her body, and her face. Seeing her feline face sleeping so calmly made me feel calm, too. She looked so cute and beautiful…and calm.

I felt so comfortable embracing and feeling her soft fur, along with hearing her purr that I felt my eyes becoming so heavy. Before long, I went to sleep.