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Back by about nine in the evening. Easy to tell the difference in the season where we lived: during the winter it'd be beyond pitch-black outside at this time of night, maybe with little slivers of icy drizzle floating down from the sky and piercing into your fur, and all the trees barren and brownish-grey. But during the spring you could still see some cool ocean-blue in the sky, maybe cotton-candy pink at the very edge of the horizon where the sun dipped below, and the temperature remained downright comfortable so you could walk around in, maybe... jeans and a thin jacket and feel totally fine. That, or you could walk arm-in-arm with that certain someone.

It was only from the front door to his mom's car with her ahead of us, but that set of probably fifteen, twenty steps, with his arm around mine and the heat of his body against me... and then, right near the end, his fingers tickled and teased at mine, like he wanted to intertwine his paw with mine but something was holding him back. Very possibly could've been his mom's presence, since she turned around with that usual big grin on her face, and he stopped. Still remained arm-in-arm, though, which she (of course) noticed, and which (of course) widened her grin.

Unlike Tyler, though, Ms. Amador had the courtesy not to dig or pry any further than that, and left the subject without even bringing it up. On the ride back to my place, over the quiet singing of the classical music radio station, she asked us about our plans for the break (which I could've sworn she'd already done), about whether and when we were going to take Tony's telescope out, when we were planning to go to the mall next... things like that.

Both of us in the backseat, and I kept my paw resting against the empty middle divider, that kind of half-seat where you always put people when you don't have enough real seats. There'd been this resilient quiet smile on my muzzle pretty much since we left their house, the kind of smile that took no energy to maintain, and that just always stayed there without you even really conscious about it. I looked out the window, at all the darkened trees passing by across the highway, at the bright headlights from the other cars and the brief glimpses of the people driving them.

Then, it was like... like a bright flash of something, zipping up my arm from my paw and bouncing around in the back of my head. Soft fur, gentle warmth, right up against the side of my paw and my finger. I looked over, looked down, saw a spotted paw right there next to mine, the gold of his fur looking more like grey in the dimmed light. Not - on mine, not over mine, but just right next to mine, side of his finger lying across mine, just close enough. When I looked up, he had his eyes on me, and returned the smile I didn't know I had. Those eyes of his similarly didn't look the same in the darkness, but still they glittered just as brightly. Maybe a little more so.

A few lights remained on in my house by the time we got there, and I stepped out of the car, hoisted my bag over my shoulder, and waved goodbye - and lingered for a moment longer, wondering if I should give Tony

my boyfriend

something a little more. My moment of hesitation, however, provided more than enough time for him to make up his mind: click of his seat belt, thump of his car door closing, and he stepped around the back of it towards me with his arms outstretched... and draped them around my shoulders, tugging me forward against him. And it felt... warmer than the other times we'd hugged, felt better. Scent of cinnamon, spice of pepper, deeper richer aroma of something else, of just - Tony himself. This was him hugging me, shy Tony, of his own accord and decision. His arms around my shoulders, his fingerpads on my back, his tailtip wrapping just slightly around my ankle. My body acted on its own, and of course I did nothing to stop it: I reached up, reached out and returned the hug.

And, as far as I could remember, it felt better than any hug I'd ever gotten from Sasha.

When he drew away, his fingers lingered on my waist for a moment longer and then fell to his own sides, and... it was like he remembered himself, then, whiskers twitching back, little ears shooting up, him instinctively avoiding eye contact. Not in a bad way, though: the few times he did manage to glance up to me, that ghost of a smile still played across his lips, and I could see the same in his eyes.

"Um." He licked his lips and swallowed. "I will. Um. Talk to you later, Matt?"

"Yeah." It was so, so tempting to reach forward and squeeze his paw right then, but... I could feel Ms. Amador's eyes on us through one of the car mirrors, and besides, Tony had already shoved his paws into his pockets. Little flutter in my chest... "Let's get together for lunch or something next week, okay?"

There was that full smile again. He perked up. "Yes. That sounds good."

"I'll text you."

"Okay. Bye, Matt."

"Bye!" I waved to Ms. Amador in the car. "Thanks for dinner again!"

"See you again soon, cariño," she called in return. Then she did the usual mom thing of waiting for me to get inside the house before she put the car in reverse and started to pull out. Even before I'd closed the door behind me, I could hear Dad rummaging around in the kitchen - and sure enough when I rounded the corner, there he was standing over a pot of water on the stove.

Didn't really smell like anything special. After dropping my bag on the bench by the door, I leaned over, took a peek... "What've you got there?"

"This? Oh, well, where I'm from, we call this water." He gave it a shake. "Naw. I figured you'd be having dinner over there when I got your text, and that just kind of... made me lose all drive to bother actually cooking. Y'know? So I just... decided, ramen, why not..."

I leaned around him again, and this time saw the characteristic colored packet on the other side of him. "That better not be one of my beef ones."

"Yours? Hey, who is it that pays for groceries in this house? And didn't you eat my last breakfast burrito last week?"

"That was an accident! I was in a rush! I had a calc quiz!"

Dad shook his head, and reached over to open the packet. "You don't have calc until third period... you're about as bad at making excuses as your mother! Oh, speaking of mothers - did you find out if Tony's is single?"

Oh God. For a second there - my heart skipped a beat - I thought he'd asked me if Tony was single. All of a sudden the reality of what had just gone down this night came crashing down on my like a cresting wave, and for a second all I could do was float a bit shakily over towards the opposite counter, and start drumming my claws on the granite top. "I, uh... forgot to ask."

"'Course you did... I'm too young to be too old to have a wingman." Sploosh of him dropping the big chunk of noodles into the water, then the kind of obnoxious sound of him shaking out the seasoning packet... "Oh, hey, you're off for spring break now, right?"

Changing the subject. Thank you. "Yeah. Gonna be nice to have a break."

"What've you got planned? It's kind of too late to get plane tickets to see your brother, but I was wondering if maybe you and I could do some things together..."

My ears perked, and I turned around. Dad smiled at me. "That'd be nice. Um - I might have some plans with Tony, but we don't really have dates worked out yet..."

Was that a bad choice of words? Dad didn't seem to notice, though, and turned back to his ramen. With one paw he turned the stove down a few notches. "You two're really hitting it off, aren'tcha?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, you've hung out every weekend since you met him."

"I've known him for two weeks-"

"And I think I remember you mentioning that you hang out in your free periods too? Tyler's gonna get jealous, man! Gonna think you're replacing him. Jackals are pretty much just little coyotes, and coyotes can get mean, you know."

Oh man - Tyler too... right when I thought that nervousness had started to fade, it came right on back. I didn't - think there was any way that Dad might suspect what was really going on, but... there was something in the way he talked about it, something in how he looked back at me. Eyes half-lidded, mouth in an easy smile, whiskers relaxed.

Or, likelier option: I was just imagining it all.

I shrugged. "He'll get over it."

"Well, keep me updated on your plans, okay? There's that - ow, that's hot - new bookstore that opened up past the mall, so I was hoping of checking that out..."

"Yeah, sure." Bvvt - my phone vibrated in my pocket. I'd been ignoring it while with Tony and his mom... "I'm gonna go chill for a bit before bed."

"Alright, kid." He flicked the stove off, and leaned in to make sure he'd done it right. One time Dad started a fire in the microwave trying to reheat some breadsticks. "See you when I see you."

You know that feeling when you do something, like... really cool, and you can't wait to tell everyone? A feeling kind of like that blossomed in my chest and spread through my body, forcing my pace to slow soon after I'd left the kitchen. This wasn't really... something I wanted to tell Dad right now (what if this isn't right? What if I'm just being stupid and I don't actually want this? What if it's just some kind of infatuation, some kind of "hey, this is new so I want to try it out"? What if, what if-)

"Hey, um... Dad?"

His ears flicked up to me first followed by his eyes, himself looking like a real fool with oven mitts on both paws and a too-small bowl clutched tenuously between them. For a moment he just... looked at me, then gave me his best smile. "Well, when I said 'see you when I see you', I wasn't expecting it to be in seven seconds. What's up, pup?" Then, he rested the bowl on the table, using an old magazine as a coaster. "...Everything okay?"

Heart beating in my chest, reverberating down through my belly, up in my throat, in my ears. "Yeah. Um..." I leaned against the threshold into the kitchen, still a good... fifteen or so feet from where he sat. "I - have something I wanna tell you." Was that really true? Something I want to tell him? Or something that I felt I should tell him?

The older dingo remained where he sat for a moment, then finally whisked those oven mitts off. He looked down at his ramen, wiggled his fingers, licked his lips... and then rested back against the chair. "Dang. Forgot to get a spoon. And - sure, Matt. Shoot. Wait, let me guess..."

"Dad..."

One finger held up. He rose to his feet and padded over into the kitchen, to open the silverware drawer. "Mm... something with grades. No, wait, I think you said you don't have any tests 'til after the break. Uh... crashed your car? No, I would've heard about it already."

"Dad, please..."

"No, no, I almost got it." The chair scraped across the tile when he pulled it back out. "...What day is it?"

"Friday."

"Okay, so that rules that one out. Um... yeah, I dunno. What's up?"

I swallowed again. "It's about Tony."

"He's not sick, is he? You're not gonna get me sick?"

"No." I hope not, at least. "Dad, I just wanna say that he... I... um..." ...and, like usual, I found myself hopelessly stumbling over my own words and thoughts. My tongue felt fat and dry in my throat, my heart thumped like a timpani drawn too tight, my tail... curled around my thigh. Why was this so hard? When me and Sasha had gotten into it, I'd literally burst through the door and, as soon as I saw him, "hey, Dad, I got a girlfriend!", and then here I was feeling like... feeling like... hell, I don't even know.

Okay. Okay. Inhale, count to four, exhale. How the hell was I supposed to...? "Tony and I, we... well..." Another one of those things where you just had to stop thinking about it and... go for it. "We're - together. I've been, been thinking about it a lot, and tonight he... asked if I'd wanted - if I'd like to, be... boyfriends, and, I said..."

Dad just blew on the first spoonful of his ramen, eyes still focused sideways on me. "And you said yes."

Loudest goddamn silence I'd ever heard, right after that. When I swallowed again, I wouldn't have been surprised if Dad had heard it. "Yeah. I... said yes."

"So, you two are-" Sip, wince, more blowing. "-boyfriends now? Like... you're his boyfriend, and he's your boyfriend?"

For some reason, each time he said that word felt like a cannon being fired right at my ears and my heart. I just - could not read his tone, or his expression. That was the strangest thing about all of this. Dad dipped his spoon back into the bowl, but instead of getting another spoonful, just stirred it around, rolled the noodles over each other.

"Matt, how long've you felt-"

"I don't know. Since I met him? I don't know. I'm just... trying to figure it all out."

Then came the clink of him setting the spoon on the table next to his bowl, and then quiet drumming of his claws there too. A moment later, he looked me dead-on again, and still I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"Tell you what. You go on upstairs and chill, alright? Let me eat my dinner, and then I'll be up and we can talk about it more. Okay?"

"Okay..." What more could I say?

"Don't worry, Matt, you're not in trouble. I'm not mad at you. I need some time to think about this a bit, is all."

"Yeah." I lifted away from the wall and turned. "Okay."

"See you soon, puppy. Don't stress yourself too bad. Okay?"

Good God. I needed something to take my mind off that. Halfway up the stairs I reached into my pocket, dug out my phone, turned on the screen - a handful of new messages, from Tyler, Sandra, and... Tony. I saved Tony's for last: Tyler was asking if we could hang out this weekend, and then Sandra's messages told the night in a different kind of light. First I saw you leave the building with a certain cheetah..., kissy-face emoji; then You better tell me what happens as soon as it happens or I'll make you more sore than he ever will, another kissy-face emoji; and then that last one, which came in just earlier: So, what's the verdict?

Telling her was a lot easier than telling Dad. And, heck, it almost felt like a relief. Breathe in, breathe out... "It's official."

My bed felt cool, soft, welcoming. I flopped back on it and wrapped my paws over my chest, looking up at the textured ceiling for a moment before closing my eyes, and curling my tail up over my belly. Wouldn't it be nice if I could just... go to sleep and forget about all that stuff bothering me, just for a bit. I knew I could, but...

Tony's single message was the last that remained. After another moment I turned my phone screen back on, put in the code, opened it-

<3

Like warm, gentle sunlight filtering in from everywhere, soothing my worries, lowering me down into a softer, more comfortable embrace. It reminded me of how it felt to lie there under what few stars we could see in this part of the city, with him right next to me; reminded me of that electric-shock feeling when our paws had intertwined, when he'd said those words, when I'd said yes.

And that felt good. That felt - so good. As soon as I was on my own the fear, the second-guessing, the worry, all faded away to almost nothing, and instead that comfort returned. I kept my phone screen-down on my chest with my paws folded over it, the screen still on with that message facing out. It was... stupid, but if I kept that close to my heart...

Honestly, I really did start to get a bit sleepy. It hadn't been a long day, or a tough one, but I still felt a bit mentally... drained, I guess. Sort of in a good way, sort of in a bad way. That's the way it always went, but just in different proportions. Up above, the air conditioner hummed quietly, one of the ducts up in the attic occasionally rattling in the way that it always did; every now and then there'd be the wooosh of a car driving by on the street outside; and I could listen to my own heartbeat, slowing down, relaxing, returning to its usual pace and strength. If I closed my eyes and focused, if I cleared my mind, I could still just barely smell him on my clothes. Spicy-sweet, dry, warm.So warm.

When Dad finally came up and knocked on my mostly-closed door, it startled me - and I scrambled over to turn the lamp on my nightstand on. He peered in through the space between the door and the threshold, and upon meeting my eyes pushed it open; he moved slowly, carefully. As if he felt he were navigating a minefield.

My phone slid off my chest and bounced briefly on the mattress beside me, then remained in place. "Hey. How was your ramen?"

"It was okay. Hot. Used a little too much water this time, I think. Not flavorful enough. You know?"

"Yeah." I watched as he came only far enough in so he could close the door behind him, and then lean back against it with his paws in his pockets. "I know."

With the hardest part over, that first rush of panic and confusion over, the feelings that stirred around in the pit of my chest and the back of my head were... tamer, a little less intense, but still there. Thankfully, though, the look in my father's eyes and the expression on his muzzle worked to calm those down a little further.

"S-" He coughed, cleared his throat. "So, Matthew."

"So, Dad..."

"You've got a boyfriend now?"

There was that word again. "Mhmm."

"Just tonight?"

"Just started tonight."

"And you've been thinking about it for a while."

"...Yeah. I have. I guess."

"You guess?"

That was another tough thing. Trying to explain what's going on to someone else when you haven't fully worked it out yourself. Imagine... imagine being stuck on a homework problem in your calculus class, and then being expected to explain it front to back to someone else. "I don't really know. It's, like... I've been feeling. A whole lot, ever since I met him. And it's, like... when we hang out together, when I talk to him, when he... when he..."

Dad chuckled softly, and raised one of his paws. "Hey. Okay, Romeo. I know how it is; I've been there."

"You have?"

"'Course I have. I mean, maybe not with another guy, but..." Dad rolled his head on his shoulders, shrugged, slid his paw back into his pocket. "You're here, aren'tcha? So of course I've been there. And see what wonderful things came of it. That's - not me being sarcastic. Your mother gave me twelve of the happiest years of my life..."

My phone vibrated against my chest, and then did so again. I ignored it. "I thought you were married for fourteen years."

"We were." There was that grin again. The first time Lexi met my dad, she told me that I really reminded her of him. "Anyway. I just - wanna know, Matt. Feel free to not answer; this ain't any of my business. Frankly, it'd be fine if I just... opened this door, took a few steps back, and left you to do whatever you like with this. Y'know? It's not my domain. You're a senior in high school, you're driving, you... had a job. You're an adult. I can't tell you what to do. But I do want to ask - when you first met him, what were you feeling?"

When I first met him? Well, there was when I just barely caught sight of him outside school that one morning, when it was like an electric jolt zipping through my body and really waking me up... and then later when he actually came up to and spoke to me, when I showed him where to go, when he thanked me-

Dad lifted a single finger when I opened my mouth to speak. "No, no, don't tell me. I've got an idea, and I think I'm actually right this time. I'm sorry if I worried you earlier... I bet that's a real nerve-wracking thing to do, huh? Get home and tell your dad that you've got a boyfriend?"

I straightened up on my bed, and crossed my legs in front of myself. "Yeah. It was. I was... scared."

"I could tell. I've known you all nineteen years of your life, Matt; I like to imagine I know what makes you you. You know what else I could tell?"

"What?"

"Known him for two weeks and he already makes you feel better, consistently, than Sasha ever did. Right?"

What the hell? "W-well, I mean, that's kind of-"

"You know how I could tell?" He paused. "Every time you've gotten home after hanging out with him, whether you've been at his house or just got a ride home after school, you've looked happier than I've seen you in a while. And that reminded me of how I used to feel with your mom, I guess."

Okay. This really wasn't what I was expecting from Dad. I thought that this conversation would go in a much different direction, honestly.

"So I wanna apologize again if I worried you earlier. I was just... surprised, you know? When you said that you had something you wanted to talk about, I wasn't expecting it to be that you had a boyfriend. Have... I already asked you to bring him over for dinner sometime?"

Warm sunlight, peeking through the fading clouds... "I think so."

"Yeah. Good. Talk to him and figure out a good time for that, okay? We'll make an event of it sometime this week." He smiled at me from across the room for a moment longer, then crossed over to my bed and reached down to pat my leg, looking me in the eyes. "Thanks for telling me, kid. Really makes me feel good that you trust me enough with that. Does anyone else know?"

"No..." I looked down at my phone and turned the screen on, and saw - two new messages from Sandra. "Wait. Yeah, kinda. I mean, I've been talking to Lexi and Sandra about it, but I didn't really..."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Well, again, I can't say I've been exactly where you are, and I imagine liking a guy is a bit different from liking a girl, but... if y'ever wanna talk about something, I'm always here."

"Okay." Just like before with Tony, this time the smile was genuine. The clouds had completely dissipated. "Thanks, Dad."

"Hey." Here he leaned in and wrapped his arms around me, and held me there for a few seconds. Of course I hugged him back. "Love you, Matt."

"I love you too, Dad."

"Okay, well, I guess I should leave you to whatever you were doing. I'll still be up for a while longer, so if you need anything..."

"Yeah. Thank you."

"If not..." He shrugged, and opened the door again. "Goodnight, Matt."

"Night Dad. Um - thank you again."

"Yeah. You know I'll always love you, no matter what." And the door clicked behind him.

...Wow. That really wasn't-

Then, the door opened back up, and he stuck his head in just far enough so I could see his nose, his muzzle, and one eye. "Oh, and, um, I don't really know how it... you know, how it goes, but if you're too embarrassed to run to the store and get, like, condoms, or... or lube, I guess-"

"Dad!"

"Yeah. Okay. Love you. Night, pup."

My bed seemed a lot warmer and more welcoming than when I'd first lay down in it. I sprawled back out, turned my phone screen back on, and opened my messages to respond.