Risks!
Story by xansteel on SoFurry
Altair gets orders from Torid that upset him deeply and confronts him about them. Julyna and Tygera have a heart to heart but getting down to business, Tygera discovers a blind spot on the ship and brings it to Feros, and discovers his budding relationship with the Doctor, which later causes a chain of emotions to hit Tygera badly.
Risks!
Finding One's True Self: Part 40
By Xan Steel
Altair sat there at his desk, stunned, after hearing the orders that Trii delivered to him from Torid. Never would he have thought that Torid demand such a thing, and then in turn order, he cut all ties to his mates. Then told to take another First, Tini his office assistant, for looks and not in an official capacity. This upset him a great deal. Yes, they had been friends since he joined the Alliance almost forty cycles ago. Yet, the risk involved now seemed too high. Altair would need to have a talk with him.
He got up and left his office letting Tini know he would be out for a while, and to hold his calls. Tini acknowledged him and watched him leave then returned the letter she had received from Trii. It stated that she needed to play the part of his First for appearances, nothing more. She would need to move in with him, and that she would need to attend all functions he was invited too. This concerned her, as she had two younglings from a previous mateship, and while she could perform the role being requested of her, her biggest worry laid in whether her younglings would understand, and not get hurt when this was over.
Altair walked down to Torid's office to confront him while trying to remain calm. It wasn't easy because his mind started to play out scenarios of what might happen if his mates found out. One, which was the more gentle of the two is that they just walked away, and never spoke to him again. The second one, which was the harsher of the two, was public ridicule. This would prevent him from ever entering another mateship, regardless of the truth. He didn't want another mateship though, as he was happy with Julyna, Iris, and Rubicant and didn't want to lose them. He sat down on a bench in the corridor, before entering Torid's office. He needed to calm down and not fly off the handle, but he feared it would happen anyway.
After a few minutes, he got up and entered the office. Trii was there and motioned him to join Torid in his office. It would seem he was expected, or perhaps Torid had been watching him this whole time. He nodded to her in thanks and entered the room. On the other side of the office, he saw Torid standing there looking out his window to the city below. On his desk, he saw the same device he used for blocking video and audio listening devices.
“Torid, what is the meaning of this? Why do I need to leave my mates, and not tell them?" Altair asked, his tone was more forceful than he wanted it to be.
Torid turned to look at him and then motioned him to sit down. Once Altair took a seat, Torid spoke, “Greetings my friend. I'm glad to see you today." He was happy to see Altair question this instead of blindly following the order.
“Torid, answer my question, please. Why is it necessary that I not inform my mates? I don't want to lose them should one of them find out," Altair said back.
Torid sat down and loudly sighed, “Altair the situation is dire I'm afraid." He began as Altair listened. “I've discovered that Mister Helfligger was nothing more than a pawn and that there are four individuals in control. These four individuals that like to remain in the shadows and not reveal who they are." Torid finished and watched Altair to gauge his reactions.
Altair sat there taking in this information, because from what Ohm and Internal Affairs stated. Everything was over. “So how is this tying into my mates and me?"
Torid looked at him as Altair noticed a change in his expression, to a more somber look. “I took a calculated risk, and made them think I joined them." He turned from Altair and went back and looked out his window.
“What, what did you agree to?" Altair asked, his tone gave away a sudden level of worry.
Torid sighed before taking a deep breath. “For them to trust me, and keep me informed of what they were doing or wanted to be done, I was forced to change the status of the Kestrel and her crew."
The silence in the room was unbearable, causing Torid to turn and look at Altair after a minute of silence. The look he saw told him everything. He watched him stand up and began pacing in his office. After a moment Altair stopped to look at him, his voice was nearly a shout. “So now you've decided to ruin not just Julyna, but everyone's life on that ship? Not mention the one I'm trying to protect, can now be freely hunted! Why would you agree to this?"
“I don't know who these people are, but I have seen the magnitude of their power and reach. All four of our fleet admirals listen to them when they give orders, they have access to our systems to make changes at will without needing anyone's permission. At least with me acting as their new pawn, I can see what's happening and plan around it. Everything I do now is for the complete protection of the Alliance, and its ideals. The very same oath we both took to serve and protect." Torid's voice was a bit more stern in his last statement, hoping it would act as a reminder to Altair. He continued, “I need you by my side now more than ever Altair. This change isn't meant to be official, but just for show so that you don't get tied in with their status change. This way you can still protect them in your own way. Not to mention this gives the Kestrel greater freedom in moving between other governments space, without having to get permission from Alliance Command." He finished
Altair stared at him for a minute thinking about everything he said because he really did think of everything. After a moment Altair spoke, but it was easy to hear he was upset by this, “Fine, I'll agree to this, but if any of my mates find out, I'm gone because I will have to go and explain things, this way they will know the truth. I will not go through the pain of losing mates again." Altair finished.
“I understand and accept that, and hope we can end this quickly to save face on all sides," Torid said.
Julyna sat in her office on the bridge waiting to start her day when Tygera came in and sat down in front of her. Julyna could tell almost instantly that something wasn't right. She spoke with a gentle tone, “Good morning Tygera, is there something you need?" Julyna saw her eyes were red and somewhat puffy.
Tygera looked at her for a moment before speaking, “I'm afraid I didn't get much sleep last night Captain. Would it be okay if I took the day off?" She asked.
Julyna sat there and looked her over for a moment because she had never requested any personal time off in the nearly twenty cycles she had been her first officer. However, Julyna sensed there was something more to this. “I'll grant your request, but I need to know what happened first." This is when Julyna saw her eyes water up.
She watched Tygera's ears fold back as if scared while fighting to keep her composure. “It's just something stupid that set off my emotions last night, and kept me up is all," Tygera replied while she hung her head down.
Julyna then got up and went over to her and pulled her into an embrace, she felt what emotion it was that had kept her up on the surface of her mind, and spoke softly, “Matters of the heart are never stupid Tyg."
Tygera broke down in Julyna's arms and wrapped her arms tightly around her Captain, while Julyna sensed Tygera's mind open up. She saw what had been happening between her and Zalina, and how Tygera fell in love with her. After a few moments, Tygera relaxed as Julyna spoke again, “Besides I've already told Zalina no, in regards to her mating with Rubicant." Tygera leaned back and looked at her questioningly. “Zalina only wants to mate with him because he's the progenitor, she has no real emotional connection to him," Julyna explained. Tygera was surprised that knowing this made her feel a bit better, though she wasn't sure why.
“However, it seems as though we have a more pressing issue to discuss," Julyna said as she let go of Tygera and had her sit back down again while handing her some tissues. “Rubicant has been spending time with someone on his lunch break, who goes by the name of E'Lum. A name that is not in our crew manifest, and I need you to find out who he is, as I fear this could be our spy."
“Permission to monitor Rubicant for now until I see this E'Lum?" Tygera asked as Julyna granted it.
Julyna then dismissed Tygera, but just before she left Tygera turned back to her, “Thank you, Captain." She said with a smile.
“I'm here whenever you need to talk Tyg, now go and get yourself some sleep, and I'll see you tomorrow." Julyna finished with a smile.
As Tygera began to exit the bridge, Zalina came in and began to head towards Tygera, but when she started to speak to her, Tygera continued passed her and left the bridge. Zalina's ears drooped a bit because she wanted to apologize, but with how Tygera acted she knew she hurt her pretty deeply. Zalina then felt a handpaw on her shoulder as she turned to see Julyna standing there.
“Give her some time, and when she's ready, she'll come to you," Julyna explained. Zalina nodded in reply as she went and sat at her console.
The next day Tygera quietly followed Rubicant around the ship, making sure to keep him in sight while doing her best to remain out of his sight. This, of course, wasn't an easy task, but she managed it well enough with only a few close calls.
It took a couple of weeks, but she managed to finally catch a glimpse of this individual with Rubicant once, and it was just enough that she could follow him on camera around the ship. What surprised her about this person, was how scrawny he looked, especially for a Derlenian. He didn't look particularly athletic or threatening, at least regarding his physical appearance. That and he seemed to go around the ship cleaning, something that wasn't commonly needed on a starship, but no one questioned him.
She watched him and Rubicant eat together while conversing, and most of the time he seemed to be teaching Rubicant about social normalities. Reading expressions, trying his own, how to respect each species differences, things you learned in school, the things Rubicant wouldn't know unless someone taught him. Which it seemed, for the most part, he was doing. In many ways, he appeared to be acting the part of a close and trusted friend.
After a few more days of following him around the ship with the cameras. Tygera always noticed him heading towards the crew quarters section, but when he turned down the Aft corridor, is when she lost him. She displayed both the entrance and exit cameras on screen, and he never reappeared. She thought it was odd they would have a blind spot like this on the ship and decided to talk with Feros about it.
Tygera left her quarters that evening and headed to Feros' quarters, as she knew he would likely be there after the shift change. She got to his quarters and pushed the chime key on the small panel next to the door. She didn't hear anything and after a minute went to hit it again only to have to door open up and reveal him standing there with nothing on and his scent heavy on the air.
“C, Commander!" He exclaimed and moved to the side letting her enter as the door closed behind her.
Tygera turned to give him a good looking over while her expression remained stern. She then spoke in a stern tone, “Trying to seduce your Commander I see." She knew he wasn't but wanted to toy with him a bit. Playing on someone's embarrassment was always a rare treat for her.
“What? No, no, it's not like that at all. I, I was actually expecting someone else." He said in a sheepish tone with his ears folding back, and at the same time, his door chimed. He stood there unsure what to do. It chimed again.
“You might want to answer the door handsome," Tygera said in that same tone as before.
He went back over to his door and opened it. “Well, someone is certainly ready for tonight's activities." Tygera heard a female say, and then watched as Samantha pushed him back and to the side while closing his door. She was wearing a long lab coat, but once the door was closed, it was off and on the floor.
Now Tygera was dealing with two naked crewmen. She watched Feros whisper into Samantha's ear and then watched her step back. Samantha turned to look at her and then back to Feros. She stepped back again her ears splaying to the sides, “I thought you said I was the only one." Tygera could hear the shakiness in her voice and realized this could go wrong for him.
“Sam you are the only one. I don't know why the Commander is here!" He pleaded with her as she picked up her coat and began to head to the door again.
“Halt Doctor!" Tygera ordered, causing Samantha to freeze before hitting the button on the small panel and turn to face Tygera. She then walked over to Samantha and looked her over, while giving her and Alpha-like expression. Tygera spoke again in that firm voice she rarely gets to use. “You both know the rules for fraternizing on this ship!" Julyna had never actually made any rules because she believed that intermingling helped with crew morale.
“Sorry Commander, it won't happen again," Samantha said in a slightly cracking voice.
Tygera turned to her, “Oh it better happen again, Doctor." Samantha looked at her quizzically. Tygera caught it, “Did you think I was here to mate with him?" Samantha nodded to her in response. “Sweetie, he may be handsome, and he may smell good, but I have no romantic interest in him. I'm actually here on official ship business." Tygera finished as she saw a look of relief wash over Feros, while Samantha's ears folded back in embarrassment as she sheepishly looked at Feros.
“Now, Feros I need you to bring me a data pad for the Doctor here, as I use your console to show you something," Tygera said as he went and got one as she went over to the console and began setting it up. Once he brought it over, Tygera brought up the meeting they had with the GrandMaster. “Now Doctor I need to know if the Captain has told you what the primary mission of this ship is?" Samantha shook her head no. “Good while I work with Feros I need you to watch this recording of the meeting." Tygera finished as she handed over the data pad, while Samantha went to the couch to sit down.
Tygera then turned to Feros as the display showed many camera angles. “We have a blind spot I've discovered while tracking someone on this ship."
“That shouldn't be possible Commander, as every corridor is supposed to have a minimum of three cameras." His tone denoted his surprise.
Tygera began to show him the Aft corridor, “Here you will notice that the entrance to this corridor is covered, but I can't 'find' any cameras to look down or cover the inside it." She finished as Feros leaned in and started a level one diagnostic of the corridor. After a few minutes, it gave a report. Three cameras had not been installed.
Feros hung his head, “Great, item number 2105 on the list of things not installed during construction." He stood up sighing a bit, “I'll get a crew on it now."
Tygera stopped him, “No not now, tomorrow during the hour that Rubicant goes on lunch." She said.
Feros gave her a questioning look, “That's an odd time frame, not to mention short."
“Can it be done?" She asked.
He thought for a moment before answering her, “It'll be close, but I believe so." He answered, and then asked, “Can I ask why this is important?"
“I'm tracking someone not on our crew manifest, and I keep losing them in this spot in the evening hours. They enter, but never exit. Is it possible to hide a room in that section?" Tygera asked.
“Not sure I'll have to check the construction prints tomorrow and let you know." He answered, while at the same time Samantha joined them.
“Most of this information I knew from Doctor Mortora's thorough work on Rubicant as well as a letter she left behind. What I didn't know about was the GrandMaster stepping in." Samantha said.
After getting everything settled for tomorrow with Feros and updating Samantha, Tygera headed back to her quarters. Samantha then turned to Feros while splaying her ears to the side and looking down, “I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions like that." Her tone quiet and submissive.
He pulled her into an embrace, “I know you've been hurt in the past, and I promised you I would never do that to you. I'm loyal to you and you alone. Please believe me." He said softly with a caring tone. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly.
Tygera closed the door to her quarters, and went to her bedroom, and began to disrobe from her uniform, and then from her undergarments. She then went to her closet, and pulled out a short light yellow see through nighty, and put it on. It barely covered her butt, but it was very comfortable. She looked herself over in the long mirror she had in her room. She ran her ran paws down her sides, noticing the curves of her body, and how they followed the ancient time keeping device, known as a Time Glass. Then bring her handpaws back to her two supple breasts, and gently pushed them up. Noticing how they lifted and perked up, and at the same time feeling how firm yet soft they were. She was proud of them because in her mind they were the right size and weight, which never bothered her while working. She had heard many females complain about the size of their breasts, and how heavy and hard they were to work with.
She turned to her side and looked at her butt. Round with just enough plump to it to be appealing. She reached down with her handpaws and felt its firmness while bouncing it up and down playfully. She then looked and saw her belly, and for the first time really paid attention to it. Her belly was starting to show more than she cared. 'Damnit I'm gaining weight. I going to need to work out more,' she thought to herself.
She then turned to face the mirror again, but as she stared at herself she suddenly didn't feel right, she felt angry with herself. Tygera started to fight with the nighty as she took it off and then threw it to the floor. She stared at it with an intense hatred for it. “What the hell is wrong with me? This is not me. I'm not some weak, desperate female that needs a companion in her life!" She growled to herself. She started to walk over to her dresser to get her sleeping outfit when she stopped at the foot of her bed.
Tears were running down her cheeks as she reached up to touch them. “What, What is this? Why is this happening to me?" She didn't know what to do, but her body reacted in the only way it could, and for the second time in twenty cycles she broke down and cried, this time at the foot of her bed. Something inside her that had never been nurtured was now fighting for its right to exist, her femininity. A side that wanted a companion, to be held by, to be loved by, and to feel safe with. This was something she never wanted while on this ship because she felt it detracted her from being a good commander. Here and now, however, it was fighting its way out, and this time she needed someone, badly.
Fate it seemed decided to intervene this time, because the door to her quarters opened, and within a second Zalina was standing in her bedroom doorway looking at her sitting on the floor in the fetal position, crying uncontrollably. She hurried over to her and pulled her into an embrace, while Tygera fought against her speaking loudly at first, “No. No. I, I don't," her voice quieted to a gentle squeak, “I don't need…" as she began to cling to her and bury her face and muzzle into Zalina's chest.
Zalina spoke softly to her as her own tears began to form. “I'm so sorry I did this to you. I'm sorry for not realizing your feelings for me," she said as she gently rocked Tygera to comfort her as best she could.
Tygera meekly spoke through her tears and sniffing, “How, how come? Why didn't you know? You're telepathic right?"
Zalina nodded to her before speaking softly. “Derlenians, blend minds with those they are interested in spending time with in regards to furthering a relationship." she paused for a moment which made Tygera look at her. “Having known you were never interested in anyone on the ship, I never initiated a blend with you to form a bond, and know your deepest thoughts," she explained.
Tygera blurted out her next question without so much as a thought, “What about now?"
Zalina looked at her thinking how she could answer her without causing her more pain, but couldn't think of a way. “I think, for now, it would be wise that we didn't pursue this next step in our current state of mind." She could see Tygera muzzle and face scrunch up as though she was about to break down again, but Zalina spoke again. “Let's let our minds become clear before we ask that question again." She finished as Tygera nodded in understanding and relaxed in her embrace.
That night to ensure Tygera slept comfortably, Zalina stayed with her, and just cuddled her while she slept. She gently touched her surface thoughts, and began to understand her more, and why she suddenly felt the needed to be with Tygera tonight. Tygera was always so strong and made sure others could lean on her, but with what happened between them, and the scene with Feros, and Dr. Pagri. It had set off a chain of emotions that she couldn't fully grasp or understand.
Perhaps there would come a time when she would fall in love with Tygera, as she did find her attractive in every aspect. For now, though she was fighting her own emotions and desires, and until she fixed those she wouldn't dare bring in another into her life, only to lose them due to her own carelessness.