Please Understand
A poem inspired by what it feels like to be hopeless and yet still want nothing more than for someone to show the simple mercy of listening.
Please understand, I'm alone in this place. a shattered wreck,of human disgrace. With not much left but the tears on my face so I'm begging you.
Please understand, when the shaking begins, Whether alone, or surrounded by friends, I'm struggling now and it will be intense so I'm begging you.
Please understand, I know that I'm mean, I've lived with the insults and being unseen, but I don't want to be this kind of unclean so I'm begging you.
Please understand, I'm fighting a war. One that I've fought many times here before. I will, stumble and fall and break to my core so I'm begging you.
Please understand. I hate that I'm like this. That my mouth wont shut up, that my mind preaches violence. I'm scared and alone in a deafening silence, so I'm begging you
Please understand, I growl out of fear, it is not because I don't want you here. I'm just broken inside, so let me be clear. I am begging you.
Please understand, I can't fight this alone. My mind is a prison, not a welcoming home. This monster inside me cuts straight to the bone, so I'm begging you.
Please understand, I want to be loved. I want to be held, to be told I'm enough. But these memories hurt me and make me erupt, so I'm begging you.
Please understand, I know I'm a monster. Despite what I'm told by friends or the doctor. To most of the world, I'm too sick to foster so I'm begging you.
Please understand, the demons I cage, did not come from your Hell, they're born of my rage. They tear me apart in this war that I wage, so I'm begging you.
Please understand, I am fighting for you, so you don't have to suffer the things they can do. So long as I'm standing I wont let them through but I'm begging you.
Please understand, I don't want you to see, this monstrous thing that I keep locked in me. I don't want you to know how often I bleed, so I'm begging you.
Please understand, this heart's not a home. It's a prison I've built for my demons to roam. but the pain that they cause is not all that I know, so I'm begging you.
Please understand, I will bend till I break. I don't want you to see, but I'll make a mistake. Some days the monster will make it's escape, so I'm begging you.
Please understand, that I love you too much. to let this cage remain broken or crumble to dust, So I'll stand and I'll do everything that I must, just to beg you..