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Alex pushed me to fly again, but I didn't want to leave her hand, let alone go unprotected in the sky again. In previous episodes, I could pull myself out of my trance, but I couldn't know if I would have had the sign to wake up this time.

After a few tries, Alex understood I didn't want to fly again. She then wasted no time in bringing me back inside. I felt unsafe until I was back on the tabletop with the doors shut. Alex left the leather leg straps on me, and once she finished carrying the perch inside, I motioned toward the straps.

"Oh, you're a little eager to get them off," she joked when she reached to remove them. I quickly shook my head in disagreement. She looked confused but continued to remove the straps. "I figured you would be more excited. You flew for the first time in months!"

I wanted to be excited. I had been looking forward to this for months, but even when I lived outdoors, I had never felt something quite like I did then. I always felt in control when I was flying. The thoughts were my own, but my instincts as a hawk assisted in my actions, for the most part. I never felt like things happened without my intent. Maybe I felt the instincts for some things, but I was always in control. When I was flying away this time, I felt my grip slipping like I wasn't driving my body.

Alex offered me water, but I could tell she was concerned. I feared worrying her, so I figured it might be a better conversation for later. I tried to put on a happy expression and ignore the knot in my stomach. I couldn't tell if Alex had bought it, but as she returned to packing the supplies, something seemed off about her body language.

When she moved, it looked less natural, or at least less natural in a human sense. I struggled to pick it up at first, but I saw it when she looked up while setting the box on the floor.

"I'm going to run over to the house later if you want to come. Elizabeth is going to be out for the rest of the day, so we can keep quiet about it." Alex chirped as she let go of the box.

Whenever her body moved, her head stayed locked in one place. Her head only moved when needed, and instead of long flowing motions, it moved in fewer quick motions—moving more like a bird than a human. Her eyes were still, looking forward and unmoving, just like mine. Alex hadn't seemed to notice, but once I saw the change, I couldn't stop noticing it

"Lyall? Is that a yes, or do you want to stay here?" Alex asked, waving a hand.

I was distracted by her head movement but quickly replied with a nod. She smiled and walked towards the door to the hallway. "Well, let me finish up a few things, and we can head over." As the door clicked shut, I looked around the room, still trying to shake the thoughts of what could have happened.

I spent the next half an hour or so trying to think about the positives from today. I did get to fly again, and that feeling was incredible! My wing was still acting odd, but I was on the right path to being released. But when I am released, would I have the same control as before? Would I still remember any of the efforts I put into healing? I tried to shake the thoughts again, but they seemed to come creeping back.

Alex returned to the room with excellent timing but had water or something similar soaking the upper left of her shirt. She had a rag and attempted to dab the shirt, but it was still a much darker shade of blue.

"Let me get dried off, then we'll leave. I promise." Alex sounded irritated as she proceeded to pull the shirt off.

Underneath was a sea of white and black feathers covering her, leaving a flat, smooth surface. It was clear that more had changed recently than just her head. She didn't seem phased by the changes and took them in stride. I wish I had been more like her when I was changing, but at the same time, I didn't know what was happening in her head.

"I know we are both birds, but watching someone undress is still sort of rude," she said sarcastically as she pulled a dark green shirt over her head.

I was embarrassed when I realized I had been staring. It had been so long that I lived without clothing that I had begun to forget the manners involved. I averted my eyes before I heard Alex laugh.

"I'm kidding, Lyall. I don't know why I bother with a shirt anyway. My feathers would probably prefer I didn't anyway."

While I could understand the annoyance of clothing on feathers, I still felt terrible for making her uncomfortable. She walked closer and put the glove on, holding her hand down for me to climb. I started to climb up before stepping off and gesturing to my legs. Alex looked confused and pulled her hand away. Again, I motioned my beak to my feet.

"Are you wanting the leg ties?" she questioned.

I nodded yes.

She seemed hesitant and confused, but reached under the table for the box containing the tethering equipment. She quickly tied the straps to my legs and offered her hand again. I climbed up and placed the strap in her hand with my beak. Alex held onto the strap, and we walked to the car.

While walking out to the car, I felt incredibly nervous. I checked that the strap was secure and counted the moments until we reached her car. When she placed me on the passenger side, she offered to open the window for some air, but I quickly shook my head in disagreement. Alex seemed more suspicious of my behavior as we drove. I couldn't stop breathing heavily as I feared losing control again.

Looking around in the car, I noticed something move in the corner of my eye. When I turned my head to look, I could see Alex's tail hanging from behind her seat. She must have taken Nash up on his offer and had her seat cut for the feathers to fit—one thing I never could have done in Kole's car.

Alex parked on the street near the house. I expected her to hold the glove down to me, but she held it over her head. She sighed before opening her eyes and looking at me.

"Something is up, I can tell. We are not going inside until you tell me what happened out there," Alex said sternly.

I opened my beak as if to speak but didn't make a sound. She closed her eyes and brought the glove to her lap. "Is it your wing? Is it still bothering you?" she asked.

I waited before quickly nodding in agreement.

"Lyall, I know it's more than just that. We will go in, but later, you will have to spill the beans. I know more is happening with you, but I can't help if I don't know," Alex said as she brought the glove down. I stepped on, and she gripped the tether tightly. Walking to the door felt like an eternity, and I tightened my talons on the glove. Once we reached the door, I felt relief as we entered the house.

"Alex! Lyall!" Rylie shouted.

Nash and Daniel came out of the kitchen, and Daniel looked significantly different. His feet had changed and now were a darker color. He had only three forward-facing toes and one facing backward, making his feet more like my talons than human feet. He didn't seem upset by the feet but had trouble walking with them. Daniel stumbled with most steps as his feet dragged across the wood flooring. Nash looked the same as usual, but he stayed close to Daniel's side, with Daniel occasionally leaning against Nash to catch himself.

Alex placed me on the couch before carefully lining her tail up with the rear cutout of the seat. Rylie, Nash, and Dan sat beside us on the other chairs. Nash placed his feet on the coffee table and leaned back in his seat.

"So what's the good word, Alex?" Nash asked.

"Well, Lyall here had his first flight this morning. It took him a few tries, but he got up and did a loop around the field," Alex said excitedly. "Just a little more, and I think he'll be ready for the next step."

"Is Elizabeth still thinking he should work with him?" Rylie asked.

Alex nodded.

"It's probably going to be best for him. We did what we could, but he could prepare Lyall better than we did." The peregrine nervously laughed, "It's not like I have too much experience with birds of prey."

"Yeah..." Alex sighed.

"Daniel over here got his little grabbers," Nash joked.

Daniel held up a foot a few inches from the floor, "They don't walk well, though."

"You won’t be winning any foot races, that's for sure," Nash playfully punched his shoulder.

Daniel asked me, "Lyall, when you took the pill, did you feel like yourself or the hawk?"

I was surprised by the question and took a moment to think about what he was asking. I had trouble remembering the details of the inhibitor, just mostly that I did use it and that it was an odd experience. I shrugged my wings, and Daniel seemed disappointed by the response.

"Don't worry yourself sick about it, Dan. Leslie said that you'd-" Nash started to say before being cut off.

"Lyall got it, why can't I get it?" Dan asked loudly.

Rylie took the chance to chime in. "Lyall's also gotten himself in a predicament from it. There's good reason it's being questioned. Maybe ripping apart someone's mental state wasn't the greatest idea."

"Lyall never even finished taking his original bottle of the stuff," Nash said, shaking his head.

Dan stopped speaking but was thinking quietly to himself. He mouthed words as he stared forward in the room, planning something.

"What about you, Alex?" Nash turned to the owl.

"Oh, me? I guess not much. I did have one more of the things we talked about," she said sheepishly.

Rylie leaned forward, "It all went alright this time?"

"As well as it could have, I guess. Still, I'm not too fond of it." Alex scratched at her head. She removed the glove and tossed it onto the coffee table.

"Lyall's still needing to be tied to the glove?" Nash asked.

"Oh, I keep the glove because rust butt here can't keep from digging his talons into it. Don't want to figure out what he'd do to my arm, if my hand is anything to show." Alex winked at me.

I still felt terrible for biting Alex's hand. Even though I wasn't in control of myself, it was still my beak that made her bleed. Possibly even starting here eyes or tail.

Rylie looked back at the stairs before turning and speaking quietly. "Shelby had an episode and had a beak for a bit. Do you know how terrifying a cockatoo's beak is when it's on a person freaking out?" Rylie laughed, "We got it all squared away, and she reverted it. But I'm afraid it may be next for her, and I don't know how well she can speak then."

"Matthias is hard enough sometimes. I can't imagine both of them losing their full voices," Dan said before standing up.

"Where are you going?" Nash asked.

"Oh, uhh, nowhere," Dan quickly and nervously replied.

Nash laughed, "No need to worry. I was just going to see if you were going to the kitchen."

"Oh, I can if you want," Dan said.

"Nah, it's all good," Nash said, changing his mind.

Daniel left into the kitchen, and Nash leaned close to me.

"I'm a little concerned for the kid. He took a sudden interest in you for the past few days. I think he's thinking if he can take the pills, he will end up like you did," Nash whispered. "I don't know if I should just let him do whatever, or try and talk some sense into him. Leslie already told him they put a hold on the trials."

I felt sorry for the kid. I remember having the same fears, and now his hope for an answer was being held away from him. Even if it may not be exactly what he thinks it is. If I can remember only one thing from the inhibitor, it was my feeling after quitting it. It felt like a massive weight was put on me, and after that, the changes happened quicker.

It wasn't long after I quit it that I began to plan for my final changes.

In the kitchen, I could hear the door to the basement open. It had a distinct creak to it that was almost like a popping sound. Nash went to get up and check on him, but Rylie motioned for him to stay.

"He's fine, Nash. It's not like he's going to hurt anything." Rylie said, motioning a hand down.

"He was getting a book out of Matthew's stuff the other day. I just don't want him rummaging through the old containers." Nash turned to me, "If there is any of your stuff you left that you need, I can grab your box."

I shrugged. It's not like I had anywhere to put any of it. Most of it was unusable to me now, anyway. Clothes, books, and nicknacks are not all that useful to me now.

"Maybe an old pair of his jeans could be helpful," Rylie suggested sarcastically.

Nash's crest rose, "Well, it is his stuff. It's not like anyone else has come back for it before."

Shortly after, Daniel ran from the kitchen and upstairs. His door closed behind him with a thud. Rylie's mouth opened, but Nash quickly stepped in.

"I have no clue what that kid is up to." Nash shook his head.

"So when is Lyall's next flight going to happen?" Rylie asked excitedly.

"Should be soon. I tried to get him to fly again today, but he seemed slightly put off by it." Rylie looked down at me, "I think his wing is still slightly in pain. He should be able to work through it, though."

I kept quiet for most of the night. While I didn't participate in much of the conversations, it was still lovely to be around everyone and away from the medical vibe of the rehab center. It felt like the sun was racing to set as the visit continued. It seemed like as quickly as we got there, we were leaving.

Alex and I said our goodbyes and walked out to the car. We never ended up seeing Daniel after he went upstairs. I couldn't understand what the kid was thinking, but he certainly had something on his mind today.

Alex was still careful to ensure the tether was tight and secured as we walked outside. She still didn't know the meaning of my concerns but was nice enough to accommodate me anyway. The drive back was quiet, but I could see in her eyes that she was trying to think of something to say.

"Did something happen while you were flying? Like, please be honest with me," Alex asked tiredly.

I waited before giving a slow nod.

"Did you... feel in danger of crashing?"

I shook my head.

"Did you feel scared?"

I shrugged.

"Did you lose control?"

I didn't answer and tried to convince myself out of hiding it. Eventually, my lack of a response spoke for itself.

"Is that why you want to be tethered?"

I nodded.

"Oh, well, I guess that's going to be hard."

I kept staring forward, not wanting to give any hint of emotion.

Once we arrived at the rehab, the sun had already set. My vision was still poor, and I had to rely carefully on Alex to guide me. She placed me in my cage and left the door unlatched. She dropped the glove on the table and leaned against the silver surface.

"How are we going to do flight training now?" she asked. "If you are going to lose control in flight, is that just it?"

I didn't move but continued to stare.

"I guess that may work as a way to release you. As long as you can take control later." Alex said quietly, looking at the floor. "I'm sure we will figure something out. We always do."

She walked to the door and began clicking the lights off individually. "Goodnight, Lyall. Tomorrow, we fly again. Got it?"

The last light flickered off, and the room was pitch black. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. I felt like I could hear a sound in the distance—a very quiet hooting, like an owl. When I opened my eyes, I saw two yellow dots staring at me from the void. The brightly lit eyes quickly disappeared with another quiet hoot. I felt the hawk as it began to fear the eyes and sounds. I tried to hold off against it and had some success. I knew that the eyes were a friend, but the instincts of the hawk were challenging to fight. With quite a bit of effort, I was able to shake the feeling.

Then my eyes opened to the morning sun filling the rehab. I couldn't tell if last night was a dream or if it had actually happened, but I could hear a set of keys jingle as Elizabeth and Alex walked in. Alex had a large coil of thin paracord in her hand. She tossed the coil onto the table top and approached my cage.

"Lyall, I think we have a plan."