Anima: The Broken Wing Chapter 23
Chapter 23
Rylie attempted to console Alex as best as she could. Alex could only stare at the newly finished white and black wings. She closed her eyes tightly, forcing tears from her eyelids. She tilted her head back and sighed, "I can feel it, Ry, it's right there," Alex's voice cracked as she trembled.
"That's alright, it's not your enemy, remember?" Rylie's arm wrapped around Alex's back. "Just think about you, what you look like."
Alex's head turned downward before she began to shake it quickly from side to side. "I can't! I don't see me, I can only see it!" More feathers began to spread across her remaining skin. Her feet balled tight as she began to breathe quickly and loudly. A beak began pressing between her lips as her speech slowly deteriorated. Words were becoming more windy and less pronounced.
Rylie's eyes went wide before she roughly grabbed the owl. "Woah girl, no need to get worked up like that! Breathe with me, Alex; we can get through this." Rylie motioned for the others to leave. With some hesitation, Nash and Dan left with Shelby and Matti. I stood in place, trying to think of my next move, unsure if I should run or stay for support.
I watched Alex's changes slowly progress, feathers growing fuller on her head while her wings trembled. Rylie held her grip tightly and whispered reassurances to the poor owl. I thought this was the end for Alex. I could not see how she could revert all of the changes if they kept progressing that quickly. Alex's eyes shot open, the bright yellow eyes looking straight forward as she let out a half-human, half-animal screech.
"Alex, this isn't like you. You need to relax and remember what we practiced," Rylie's voice slowly sounding more desperate. "Close 'em and take a breath."
Once more, she closed her eyes and slowed her breathing. To both Rylie and I's surprise, some of the feathers began to recede. Some of her avian qualities began to fade closer to human, but it was clear she was not going to be the same.
"Come on, keep it going, Alex." Rylie rubbed the owl's back as the changes slowed to a stop.
"I don't want to see it," Alex said shakily. "Is it too much?"
Rylie pulled her head back and looked over the girl, "No, you look amazing. A little bit stayed, but nothing we can't work with," she said, appearing elated by the mostly reverted changes.
Alex sat upright, giving a clear view of her changes. Her feathers were fuller and seamlessly connected her head to her body. Her face was slightly reshapened with the start of a beak peeking from her upper lip. Her eyes no longer moved, now wholly locked in a forward-facing position. Her head turned in a smooth motion, almost robotic, before coming to a stop in front of Rylie. Her face held back a wall of emotions.
"It's so close! It's like a paper wall is between me and it," Alex sighed before her breathing picked up. "It could just break through whenever. I can't stop it."
Rylie pressed her head against Alex's, her beak tapping on Alex's start of a beak. Alex's wings quickly shot up to her face and rubbed the small nub.
"Remember what we talked about?" Rylie asked. "When I said you would know when the right time was?"
Alex brought her wings to her sides, "I know, I've been thinking about it. I need to wait for Lyall to be ready."
I stood still in my place, unsure if I should make myself known and break the conversation or just quietly let it play out.
"Don't worry about Lyall. That is a drop in the bucket compared to what he's been through. What's important is that you make sure you are taking care of yourself," Rylie said quietly. "He's seen it before. He will understand."
I was now wishing I would have left the room. I couldn't stand to see Alex feel like that, let alone for me. I could tell she was getting ready to let the final changes happen, but her mind wasn't ready. I remember when I felt like it was getting close, my walk with Rylie, and when my feet finally changed. Something about that day just ticked a little switch in my head, and I knew it was time to decide.
Seeing Alex with Rylie during this was comforting. I knew there couldn't be a better person to be with Alex. I wish I could tell her that I knew the feeling, the pit in the stomach when it starts going faster than you can control, and the only thing you can decide is when you let go of that little control.
I heard the tapping of feet as Nash came back into the room. Dan was no longer in his hands, but I could see Shelby's tail hanging out from just around the corner before her head turned, and I could see her hands cupped around something.
Nash placed a hand on Alex's back but stayed silent. Nash looked around the room before he spotted me on the seat. He seemed surprised to see me, but before I could shake my head, he quietly said, "Glad to see you three got it under control."
Rylie didn't seem to notice, but after a few moments, her head turned to see me still sitting there. She thought for a moment, her expression changing from panic to elated. "Well, I guess someone likes to nose around," she chuckled.
Alex looked up and followed Rylie's eyes to me. She seemed embarrassed before letting out a chuckling sigh, "I guess you heard all of that then? I'm sorry."
I stood quietly as all eyes were now on me. I shifted my stance slightly but turned to look away from everyone. Alex looked around the room before looking back at Rylie.
"Maybe it's time we head back. There's been enough crazy here tonight, and I'm sure you all don't want me adding to it." Alex attempted to stand, but Rylie quickly placed an arm around her.
"Hey, a lot has happened, but that's how it works around here. There isn't anything you did wrong. It doesn't always pick the most convenient times." Alex sat back down on the seat as Rylie continued. "Your change is just as important to us as Dan's." Rylie leaned in and whispered, "I don't know what we are going to do about him."
As if on cue, Shelby walked up to Nash, her hand cupped. I could barely make out the pink of Dan's facial feathers. She quietly asked a question to Nash, who moved his head quickly, trying to find something. Instead, he walked into the kitchen and returned with a shallow dish filled with clear fluid. After he placed it on the side table, Shelby held Dan to it. After a moment of looking, he gripped the edge of the dish and dipped his beak in.
"Well, he seems to be adjusting alright," Rylie said jokingly. "So, is he sleeping in your room then?" she asked Shelby.
Her crest rose before looking confused at Rylie, "Me? I'm not the one with a birdhouse in their room."
Nash chimed in, "Do hummingbirds use birdhouses? I thought they just nested on branches?"
Dan looked up before quickly bringing his head down to drink again. I can't say I wouldn't have done the same, but at least it was all light-hearted banter. It seemed helpful to Alex as she began to loosen up, and her mood improved as she smirked during the conversation.
It was fun to see the house still being how I remembered it. While everyone was dealing with the same changes and challenges, it never seemed depressing. Sure, some tough moments would happen, but we would work through it. With my recovery progressing, or rather finished, I knew this very well could be my last time setting foot in the house. I was glad to see them all again, but it was time for me to return to my life and let the past become the past again.
It still didn't make it any easier.
Rylie tried to convince Alex to stay at the house overnight, citing that it would be best if she were with friends rather than alone, but Alex declined all offers. She used work as an excuse, but it didn't matter as she fell asleep on the couch sometime after ten. Rylie messaged Elizabeth to let her know where we were and that she would be there in the morning if Alex was needed. Nash was kind enough to place a hardback chair in the corner for me. Although my feet could not fully wrap around the back of the chair, it was nice to sleep perched for the first time since Eli's.
As everyone slowly wandered to their bedrooms, I was left in the dark with Alex, unable to see anything beyond the dim lights outside or the small indicators on the TV. The air vent's soft sounds and occasional movement lulled me to sleep.
The yellow eyes of the owl broke the darkness. I knew it could only be Alex, but the sight still frightened something deep inside me. I tried to hold still and even take a step to the side. Quickly, I found the limits of my perch as my wing pressed against the wall; I had nowhere to go. I focused on the eyes and imagined the silhouette of her head, and to my surprise, I could begin to see her head and body.
The longer and harder I focused, the clearer she became. However, something appeared off, something in her beak. The owl was almost fully visible to me, only the owl seemingly standing in the dark void. The object in her beak was dark but with small spots; it hung limp as it lightly swung. She dropped it, and immediately, I could see it was a Starling, unmoving, lying on the dark ground near her feet. It appeared to fade into the dark, and I noticed something under one of her sharp feet.
The object was clearly covered in brown and gray feathers. The black bars on its back looked familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. But around the mass, the grass seemed to become visible, and quickly, I could see the area she was standing in. The grassy field and trees all looked just like... But before I could make the connection, I saw his tiny home. The bird in her talons had feathers just like his.
I wanted to run, but I felt stuck in place like my wings were glued to my sides. I wanted to scream but was afraid that I'd be the next one. Everything became dark, and I lost sight of the house, the owl, and the kestrel. I was alone in the dark again.
"Lyall?" I heard Alex's voice call.
My eyes jumped open, and I saw Alex's beak nub, which was only inches away. At first, I was afraid of her, but as my mind slowed, I realized it was all a dream. Alex was still herself, and we were both still in the house. Although relieved to know it wasn't real, the images still haunted me. After all of the support and fellowship we had last night, I couldn't help but feel guilty that Eli was taking it on alone, assuming he wasn't already a full kestrel.
"Sorry to wake you, but I wanted to ask you something before everyone else gets up," Alex whispered. I nodded to let her know I was listening.
"I don't know if I want to live with Elizabeth. I think I may be wanting to live like you."
The image of the owl grasping the kestrel flashed in my mind. I couldn't be so haunted to hear something as exciting as that.