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Broken Pieces

Chapter One

By Roofles

Alan awoke in a dark room, alone.

It was becoming a familiar feeling.

"Dammit, Reese." He yawned loudly, stretching buck naked in the dog bed the two of them had continued to use these past years.

Alan knew where he was. It was all part of his morning routine, seeing that sliver of light sneaking through the small window in the basement corner. It would creep across the floor towards the bed in the middle. Alan had become so adjusted to it that he could tell the time of day based off it, depending on the season. He had added a small curtain in front of the window to give them some semblance of privacy.

Something hard to get with where they lived. These days, the doghouse, or wolf house, made it difficult to get any alone time with the two of them. It was challenging before Reese's old pack arrived at their door. Living with the dogs was tough enough but in recent years? Well, these past several years had been something else.

The wolves from Reese's old pack, the remnants that remained, the scraps… the leftovers… the strays had wound up on their front porch one evening seemingly out of the blue. It was something else, one day, to wake up with several wolves in the living room discussing things Alan had purposefully tried to ignore since he had been reunited with Reese and his past. Bloody and wounded from their run-in with the competition on their turf.

Oh, Alan was well aware of who Reese was. To an extent. Who his old pack was, and what they had used to be. Even growing up, Alan had heard rumors about the wolves lurking on the streets at night. Admittedly, Alan had always taken it for the racist ramblings of his parents. But he was intimately familiar with what they did for a living after unknowingly running across and befriending one of them. And the results that followed.

Such rumors weren't just stories to tell children at night, so they'd behave. That the wolves on the streets were the same ones that haunted his nightmares.

Alan could deny it, though! At first. Lie to himself. Shut it out as he covered his ears, closed his eyes, and chose never to ask the questions lingering on the tip of his tongue. Pretend that everything was fine. And it had worked! Ignorance was bliss, and Alan almost missed those days… but everything changes. Alan had come to know this harsh lesson, to learn it in life through pain and loss.

Everything changes, and sometimes the wolves of your nightmares move in upstairs.

There was a loud thud above his head the next instant. Some dust fell from the wooden boards that served as a ceiling in the basement. Something crashed to the floor, followed by hushed yet audible, growling voices arguing about it as they tried to keep their voices down.

"Can't just let sleeping wolves lie." Alan sighed heavily as he curled up in the oversized dog bed underneath one too many sheets. A part of him wanted to get up, but another part just wanted to savor these quiet, if interrupted, moments. It was his day off, and he had no one to do it with. Reese would be, of course, busy again.

And soon enough, Alan dreamed of the past years as he sifted through the old memories coming in and out of the waking world.

The wolves had come seeking asylum here behind these walls. To lick their wounds, regroup, and take out their new enemy. That's what they did. Who they were. Fighters, striving to survive a world that would happily let them die out. They had even succeeded! To an extent, wiping a good chunk of the pride out in the war. Alan had thought or hoped it would end there. They would win, and then they'd just leave them alone.

He and the dogs at the house had stayed out of it. Keeping their distance. Waiting for it to pass, they could pretend to return to a semi-normal life. That's all he wanted and needed. Alan had Reese. He had good friends with the dogs. He couldn't have asked for more.

However, life wasn't so kind. Things change and not always for the better, and no matter how hard Alan tried to go back to sleep, to escape from reality for another hour, he found himself lying there mulling it all over.

Last Thanksgiving had been something else.

The attacks downtown, the fires, and then the mayor going missing! It had made headlines, yet… everyone was acting as if it wasn't a big deal. Was the mayor kidnapped? The police chief was MIA? There had been a raid on city hall. And the news would go out of their way to talk about stories that didn't matter. Laughing about the weather, talking for hours about different sports teams, bringing up what a famous actress was eating that weekend… anything that didn't address the reality they were all living in.

That the city they lived in was burning around them.

It was like the dogs in the house. Everyone pretended it wasn't as big of a deal as it was. Pretending that no one knew what had happened or who was responsible. That it didn't affect them. Pretending to be normal. Happy. Naïve and blind.

And, as Alan lay in the oversized dog bed, he couldn't help the thoughts seeping in. Dripping from above. Memories he tried not to recall. Tried to work through it. Taking antidepressants to fight against this seemingly unwinnable battle.

"You're born. You live and breathe. And one day, you die. Taxes and death, son. Taxes and death." Even as a kid, Alan's estranged father had drilled it into his head.

Alan wasn't sure when he'd grabbed his left arm. Checking for the scar that wasn't there.

These wolves showing up had only brought it back. All of it. The memories he tried to work through, to deal with in therapy. The bitter reality he was in and what he had lost.

“They found me!" Alan had thought the very second he had seen them. Wolves. The pack. What had happened? It took great control not to have a panic attack on the spot. Everyone was, thankfully, too distracted to notice.

Too distracted to care. Even Reese.

No one noticed the lone human keeping his distance from them. Wolves wouldn't notice, no. Despite their enhanced senses, they couldn't give two shits about Alan. Not until they found out he was Reese's mate. That opened a different can of worms on top of the one Alan was still trying to deal with. Until then, though, no one had given him even a second glance or sniff.

He was a nobody, and for a brief moment, Alan missed that. To be a nobody once again. Out behind the school with the only person that had mattered. Just the two of them, alone and ignored in the world.

These wolves didn't care. They knew he was off limits after Reese had brutally put one in their place for even suggesting otherwise.

“He would've noticed…." Alan gripped his arm tighter, trying not to let the tears flow as he rolled onto his side and stared at the brick wall. “Shit, calm down." He took a moment to do just that.

Reese hadn't noticed.

He'd been too busy keeping them safe. And Alan knew that. He couldn't fault Reese for protecting them. Always protecting them. It didn't make it any easy to be pushed aside like this. To have Ralph, of all people, show up and be tossed at him like a stress ball. A stuffed husky wolf hybrid to hold onto and be comforted by while Reese took care of the issue again. In silence.

And Alan knew why that was.

It was simple, really, in the end. Because Reese, Reese didn't know how to do that. To comfort others in a way that someone like Ralph or Alan knew how to do. Someone normal. Someone like…

And Alan hated feeling like this.

Despite how well things had been going for them, Alan couldn't go to Reese about these feelings. That wasn't the kind of relationship they had. The wolf kept things locked up inside, shut away from the world. An impregnable vault. And even Alan didn't have a key to it.

Alan could get Reese to open up, if only a little, now and then, but there was a limit to that. No matter what clearance Alan had compared to others, there was always a lock Alan couldn't open. What he said or did, he couldn't get any closer to the wolf he had come to love.

“There are no such things as happily ever after, son."

“Thanks, dad. Great advice. Bastard." Alan just groaned, throwing a pillow into the air and catching it. It was covered in black fur. It was waxy to the touch. It smelled of Reese. “You were never there. Fuck, even Reese was there more than you were… But still, no one was ever there, not like he was… When I needed someone most."

No, it wasn't like Reese was pushing him away or keeping him locked out. Alan knew that. He wasn't some dumb kid anymore; he was pushing thirty-eight. Those kinds of thoughts were for the young, inexperienced kids out there. People weren't just black and white. They were complicated with multiple sides and different layers, able to feel and think more than one thing at once. Some people, like Reese, just couldn't ever open up. That's just who they were. It was hard to say if it was because of his past, his current position as the new Alpha, or if it was something else. Or a combination of all of the above.

But at times like these, like today, Alan wished Reese could at least… talk to him? He was a great listener, but when Alan opened up to the wolf, he tended to try and… fix things. Some things couldn't just be fixed after they were broken, no matter how much you tried to. No matter how much you wanted, them to be.

“If you're ever feeling down or blue. Or just lonely or horny, heh. Text me. Because I-"

Alan shook his head as he sat up in bed. The covers slipped down his chest, showing the work he'd been doing for the past two years. He might be pushing forty, but it didn't mean he was in the grave. It only encouraged him to work out more. It wasn't just to be healthy. Living with wolves meant he had to take care of himself again. Just to keep up! And… And Alan wanted to be able to look in the mirror and not... despise what he saw looking back.

If only it had been just that.

These past several years have shown Alan how fucked up the world truly was. From what happened three years ago, he nearly lost his best friend Ralph to those freaks at The Brotherhood. And then to Reese. The wolf who had burned down the mansion up on the hills started a gang war and ended up, in a single night, destroying a legacy his father had spent a lifetime building up.

And that didn't even touch all the things that had happened two years ago with the lions! Most of which Alan only knew about through hushed gossip the pack's wolves liked to talk and brag about after a couple of drinks around the open bonfire.

Reese didn't say a thing about it. No one did directly. They were good at that. Not talking. Alan didn't need them too. He could piece it together quickly enough through the broken conversations he stumbled into.

When the entire city had come to a standstill due to the explosions that had wrecked the old warehouse district near the abandoned cheesecake factory, it didn't take a genius to figure out they had a hand to play in it all. They claimed it had been a gas leak underground. The news quickly wrote it off. An entire section of the “old sewage line" had exploded, collapsing and taking out several buildings above, creating a massive sinkhole. All of which had been condemned and locked off.

To be pushed aside and ignored like so many other things.

Shortly after that, there was a vast increase in prices on nearly everything. The one thing that hit them the hardest was the stock of meat. Every single product had nearly doubled or tripled in price. Butchers couldn't keep up with the demands, despite the rise. People were going hungry. Fights were breaking out in the supermarket. Everyone was on edge.

At least, the predators were.

Those who needed the meat more than anyone else. Others, like humans and omnivores, just complained loudly about it. Alan could see how much of an effect it had on those around him, and they could afford the price hike, though Alan wasn't sure where the wolves got the surplus of cash from and never dared to ask.

The wolves hadn't been easy to live with before, and after the incident, they were even more on edge. Most carnivores in the city were feeling the residual effects of the price increase and shortage of meat. The supply couldn't keep up with the demand, and they all seemed to know why that was.

Without ever telling Alan. Or letting him in on this giant secret everyone else was a part of.

“I'll always be here."

Alan closed his eyes.

“We don't keep secrets between us…"

Alan could've dragged the information out of one of the wolves, he was sure. Alan hated that. Hated the fact he had to use this “Alpha's Mate" bullshit to get an answer on… anything! Everyone treated him with kid gloves, walking on eggshells around him nowadays. It was hell. Even the other dogs had begun to move on, move out.

And Alan missed them dearly. He wasn't sure who he could talk to about all this.

But that was how life was. “You live. You breathe. You pay taxes and die."

Muffin had moved out first.

Once the blue heeler found out he couldn't rise in the doghouse to second or third, he didn't see a reason to stick around any longer. Or at least, that's what he claimed. They knew the blue heeler couldn't handle the wolves here. Not that anyone blamed him for that, either.

There was a reason wolves stayed with those in their pack and only in their pack. Why others didn't join these packs. Wolves didn't get along well with others, and the animosity between dogs and wolves was still at the forefront of all their minds. They only behaved because of Reese.

Alan hadn't heard from Muffin for over… seven months? It was around seven months now. Alan nodded to himself as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, haggardly sitting up once more to attempt to start his day. Muffin had moved downtown and kept in touch with the other dogs who had filled Alan in. Muffin was working as a dishwasher, trying to get the screenplay he'd been working on published…

Alan wished him the best of luck with that.

Dodge and his boyfriend had gotten their place, finally. Hunter had popped the question, and the two had happily moved out. Even if everyone had already known that the German Shepherd was seeing the Dalmatian in secret, it was good to see them officially together. At the same time, it would've been customary for the two to stay around. It was easier, with the wolves, to use that as an excuse to get their own place.

They stopped coming for visits, and Alan knew the others here were missing them. Brigsby, the golden retriever, had been kicked out shortly after them. Once the… accident occurred, he couldn't stay around for his safety. The golden retriever's flirtatious methods got him further in the doghouse with the entire… well, doghouse.

Where it had been funny or even cute initially, things became another story when Brigsby began trying to hit on the wolves. At first, they ignored him. Some even teased the dog, mocking him. Joking behind Brigsby's back. Calling him all kinds of things. Then things worsened when one of the wolves agreed to keep him company for the night…

Neither Brigsby nor that wolf was here anymore.

It left Alan, Togo, Clem, and Charles left of the original bunch.

Togo, the husky malamute mix, had reassured him this was normal.

“Dogs come and go all the time! I'm sure they'll be back if they need." Togo wagged, he smiled, but they all knew he was putting up a front for their sake. Togo was good at that. Being the strong one when they needed that emotional support. “This used to happen all the time. Ever since Reese came back…." And it ended there, no one wanting to blame their Alpha for it, yet…

Knowing, in a way, it was all his fault.

Always Reese's fault. No matter how much the wolf tried to help others, to fix and repair things. To build a home and community? All his hands seemed to be able to do was destroy.

“Charles and Togo are still together and doing well. They keep to themselves. Clem has been seeing that wolf, Domino, Logan's ex… it's been interesting. They're getting along better than I thought!" Alan typed it out on his laptop the previous night, keeping a log of his thoughts as his therapist had recommended. “Logan's been in and out. Not that I blame him. He's just been so… busy? Constantly. Something has been eating him up, and every time he comes over, I have to make sure he eats dinner! He's been neglecting his health again, and I'm worried about him…." Alan stopped there for the night, feeling more like a mother these days to them than a friend.

“Dammit." Alan cursed as he forced himself up, grabbed his bathrobe covered in black fur, and headed up the steps.

Even before he reached the door, it opened for him. No semblance of privacy. Alan wasn't in the mood to deal with this shit… He swore if they started up again, he'd flick every one of their noses.

“Alpha-mate," a wolf, Barreth, gave him a slight nod in recognition and respect. Barreth kept his eyes on the ground as Alan reached the hallway and turned to go into the bathroom. “I already heated the water for you."

“Uh… thanks?" Alan wasn't sure how to deal with this. At first, he'd been a flustered mess. That passed quickly once he realized, and Logan had pointed out to him, that they were just brown-nosing him.

None of them gave two shits about the human. They were just trying to suck up to the new Alpha. It left Alan feeling tiny amongst these big burly wolves. Even the woman towered over Alan, making him feel that much smaller.

Alan grabbed the top of his left arm after he'd shut the bathroom door behind him. They couldn't care for a human. That much was clear. That much they had made clear twenty years ago…

“It's pretty tough, but at least we got each other. Right, Alan?"

Alan's morning routine was quick. Just wanting to get in and out and back down to the safety and shelter of the basement, where none of these other wolves were allowed to enter. Barreth would stand guard, ordered by Reese, to watch over Alan while he had worked to do.

Thanks to their keen sense of smell, anyone else near Alan or the basement would quickly be sniffed out and dealt with accordingly. Reese sometimes would personally deal with them. Reese…

Alan missed that. Missed him. Reese had quit his job, taking over as pack alpha which was a full-time position. Alan didn't understand the complete requirements of the role, but every night when Reese returned home, the wolf was exhausted and worn out from dealing with people.

The two barely had time for each other.

“I'll be there for you."

Alan didn't fault Reese for it, no. That would be scummy and petty of him to do. This was his life, something Reese had… chosen? It was hard to say. Reese wasn't one to turn strays away. He used to take in dogs, and now he was taking in wolves. Who had kicked the dogs out, basically, over the past year? Ironically enough.

But it was still Reese's choice in the end. And Alan had to respect that.

“Alan!" A voice called to him after he'd slipped into the kitchen to fix his breakfast. Which mainly consisted of a protein shake from a rather large box stacked on the counter. It was a quick, easy meal for people to grab and go, and the wolves could drink It, so they had boughten it in bulk.

Before Alan could adequately respond, a bundle of furry arms surrounded him.

A black and gray mixed-furred wolf approached him quickly, and Alan's face was lost in his chest fur in a bone-crushing hug. The musky tinge told Alan enough who it was, practically able to identify them by smell alone. His fur had strands of white in it giving him a distinct salt-and-pepper look. Ironically, a nickname had formed for one of the two brothers, and Salt gladly took it on himself.

Nicknames, after all, in a way, could be a form of acceptance.

“Hey! Easy, easy there, Salt." Alan greeted the younger wolf, who nosed up on him, making the human force himself not to pull back from the large snout shoved into his face, uncomfortably aware of the fangs lurking underneath that smile.

This was a typical form of greeting he was uncomfortably becoming familiar with. Very few were allowed to greet him as such, but according to Reese, Salt and his brother Pepper were allowed due to being family.

“He's Alpha-mate," Pepper came up on his brother, grabbing him by the scruff and pulling him up and off Alan quickly enough. Pepper was the older of the two, if only by a couple of minutes. He liked to remind his brother, Salt, about this daily. “Not Alan. He's big bros, mate. Thus, Alpha-mate." Pepper just growled at his brother. “Right, Alan?" He ended up just asking, nodding at the human.

Where every other wolf here kept their distance, Alan had somehow found himself the caretaker of these two and didn't get a moment of peace because of it.

Pepper matched Salt down to the last strand of fur. If Pepper wasn't the bigger one of the two, Alan would've had a difficult time telling the two apart.

“My name is Alan, though…." Alan needed to bring it up, but the two wolves either didn't hear him or cared. Wolves were… complicated to deal with, and even after the past couple of years, Alan was still struggling to keep up with them.

The two bickered in front of him and yet stood uncomfortably close, crowding in on his personal space as if afraid Alan would disappear if they weren't constantly touching him. It was a sign of affection or possession; it was sometimes hard to tell with wolves. Sometimes there wasn't a difference.

“Right, right. Whatever." Salt freed himself from his brother's hold before returning to Alan, who stepped back. Personal space was challenging around any canine, and these two were some of the best examples of how little one had around them.

Cornered in the kitchen, the two pushed past each other to join Alan and filled the rest of the space. Each vying for his attention.

“We don't got' class today." Salt just wagged quickly, his gray eyes widening a bit. “So, so, so, so, so!" He practically yipped like an excited dog. Pepper smacked the back of his head.

“We were wondering, Alpha-mate, Alan, if you could take us…." Pepper started strong, even trying to flatter Alan by adding his title before faltering at the end. The larger of the two Salt and pepper wolves turned away from the human as he pressed his clawed fingers together, unable to finish.

The human just sighed, setting his drink down.

“Yes, Pepper? What is it?" Alan found their nicknames amusing but never once pointed that out to either of the two who took pride in them. After seeing how happy they were after receiving them, it would be heartbreaking to do. “How can I help you on my day off?" Alan tried not to let his annoyance show or let the barb in at the end.

He had been hoping to hang out with Reese today. Or Togo and Charles. Or Clem… to do something! Anything. It looked like his little free time was, once again, being stolen away by greedy wolves and not the one he wanted to be with.

“A new arcade opened up!" Salt jumped on. “You said you'd take us!" The more excitable of the two jumped in to help his brother out, and his tail hit the countertop quickly with loud thuds as he inched closer to the human, who was already pressed back against the wall at this point.

If Reese hadn't explicitly told them they couldn't sleep down in the basement, Alan was sure these two would hog the bed with Alan and Reese. And Alan didn't want to get crushed underneath three hulking wolves.

Despite their ages, Salt and Pepper were related to Reese, and their sizes alone showed that. The two towering over Alan, dwarfing him in their looming presence.

“They have laser tag! I'm good at shooting people." Salt just bragged openly. It was hard to keep such things toned down in public. And it was hard to tell what was and wasn't a joke.

“They… they have this. This game. Like we could. Could all, maybe, play… together?" Pepper muttered, mumbling behind his brother, still not looking at the human. Alan couldn't see the red in his ears as they folded back on Pepper's head. The tip of his tail twitched in what could be called a wag.

Alan just gave one a look, then the other. He sighed, shaking his head. Like he could say no to those pleading, fanged faces.

“Let me at least finish breakfast." He didn't even finish his sentence before Pepper stepped out of the way, and Salt had practically picked him up, carrying Alan towards the door as the two began talking together very quickly about the new arcade.

“We'll go clockwise. Hit the best games first. Take out the competition. Claim our spots." Salt said as Pepper, the muscle of the two, growled in agreement as if warning anyone to get in their day of fun. He punched a fist into his hand.

“For the love of Saint Peter, help!" Alan pleaded as Barreth just watched them go. Swept out the door in a wave of salt and pepper fur that took the struggling human out with it.

Even making a scene, very few paid the trio any attention as Alan was carried out the door, over the walkway, and towards the row of cars lining the street. Planning to start their day off together.