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Perihelion

By

Untergang Des Alasters

(U.D.A.)

Out in the wild, there lurked a Beast

In a young man's mind without cease,

With teeth that glisten, eyes that shine,

But has no face, just smile lines.

While thinking of his nascent lark,

He bares his teeth deep in the dark

A smile at a fine repast

To have him in his arms at last.

Not to eat him, just simply scare;

To truly be that Youth's nightmare;

And shelter, friend, procreator,

To whom he'll turn at times later.

“Push him to me," the Monster thought,

“Send him to me, the little sot.

“I'll hold him close and make him see

“That no one cares, except for me.

“Clasped in my arms, I'll sooth his tears

“And solitude as I strike fears.

“And his face buried in my chest,

“He'll come to fell that it's his nest,

“Forgetting worry will he see

“That no one cares, except for me."

Patiently, Monster sat in wait

For days, for weeks, till years of late,

For a desperate time of distress,

When the Youth, weak, should convalesce.

Then he'll come, silent, in the night,

When he shall feign to be contrite

To hide his joy, his chance, his glee

To see his boy in so much need.

And as it was, this came to pass,

When the Youth was in thither cast

A world of torpid loneliness,

Of adolescence tenebrous;

Compelled inch by inch, quietly,

But by what force was yet unseen,

Felled by a blow within his chest,

As on his left his pain did crest,

Drowning from an absence of air.

So dazed, he sought a doctor's care.

Delayed, seen, an umbilicus

Entered, that takes instead of gives,

Yet still somehow saves and nurtures,

Penetrating his ribs' suture.

Now informed that he could have died

With his heart wrapped by lungs that lied,

That he must stay for seven days,

That he must suffer through these pains.

And so stirred the Beast from within,

His anxious ears pricked by the din.

Panic, fear, and resignation

Peppered down to his temptation

As he rose at dusk from the depths

To glance his mark with earnestness.

But as Beast looked, his feelings changed.

While his heart dithered and refrained

Feelings of joy, but also fear,

For, now, he felt contrite sincere.

Fearful that his intents have changed,

Fearful that his plans were harangued

By tugging whirls and pools of doubt

With trepidation to surmount

His gleeful, fiendish plans to scare,

All his wants of full-blown nightmare,

For his boy was now enlightened

By the fear that should have frightened.

Thus, was Beast overwhelmed and nulled

By this fear only Youth could lull

With an acceptant, morose state,

Complacent, knowing of his fate.

Clearly, now, could the Monster see:

That none would understand but he;

That he needed help from the Youth;

That there was also converse truth.

Slowly, as Beast stepped to approach

Quietly, as he cleared his throat,

Did he now decide to resolve

Himself to face thoughts that involve

Decisions, changing and severe,

Where he would plan to still endear

Himself to his boy, nigh a man,

And his other plan to disband.

“Hello," the Monster said, half lit,

Coming over so he might sit

By his Youth, yet still taking care,

As Youth gave cool, half-blank stares,

While Youth saw the Monster revealed,

More than eyes and teeth, now so real.

It was night and in the dim glow

Was the Monster's full form now known:

Bestial with long and pointed teeth;

Yellow-eyed, golden, or between;

Simian, Lupine was inured

In his features, but unsecured;

Muscular, intimidating;

Hairy, tall, thick; enervating.

But in his face was detected

A low look that was dejected.

Tragic, it made his features soft,

As human in inhuman crossed.

“If I scare you," Beast said, “I'll leave."

“No," Youth replied, “Please stay with me."

“Tell me, boy: are you not afraid

“Of this dark, coarse and bestial shade?

“Do you truly know what I am?

“Are you certain, little lamb,

“That these rife talons and these teeth

“Won't find home in your tender meat?"

“I have inkling what you are

“And now that you have come this far

“Do I discern your true nature,

“Synonyms and nomenclature.

“Yes, now I think I know your name.

“Yes, now I think I know your claim

“To me wherein no others could,

“To that part not quite understood

“By my loved ones or by myself,

“Sustained within me in its stealth.

“Though I can guess its pith and plot,

“From where it comes do I know not."

Thus spoke the Youth from his bed,

Resting lightly, his eyes now red

From the pain spreading in his chest,

His state, his thoughts, and all the rest.

Silent, thoughtful, the Monster sat,

Stricken, moved, by this easy chat

With his young one, boy no more,

His heart ajar, an open door.

So reached the Monster with a sigh

His boy's hand, then to catch his eye

He leaned over, Youth's hand to press

Against his cheek and thus confess:

“Though I've menaced you ere this year,

“I see that now your mind is clear.

“Know angst with me is not needed,

“That what I am should be heeded.

“When peripheral in your life

“You did not know I caused your strife.

“But now by me you comprehend

“What comes to pass in all young men.

“I'll be your friend, your supporter,

“But know that I am of distinct order:

“In me, your fear and need have shaped

“That which would one day satiate

“Just these two things and nothing more

“Your anger left alone, forlorn."

The Monster kissed and stroked Youth's hand,

More assured now that he began

That his young one was truly his,

That now nothing would be amiss.

“To your account I must agree,

“Based in lonesomeness is my need.

“And fear, that too, is also there;

“It has receded since you're here.

“So thus out and in the open

“Is honestly your part spoken.

“Still, I see in you more answers.

“This I have sensed in our banter:

“A need in twain combined in you.

“So, tell me, Beast: does this ring true?"

Youth's hand still held, the Beast smiled,

Yet holding back all this while

The larger part of his purpose,

Gently tugging at the surface.

“This is true, lamb, but there are three

“Purposes to be found in me.

“The first, which we have just discussed:

“A friend to you is what I must.

“But, ah, the second and the third

“Might you, my boy, find quite absurd."

Then the Monster seemingly smirked,

His smile tilted with a quirk.

Calloused hands, similar to mitts,

Fawned Youth's palm and then at his wrist

As the Beast gave Youth's palm a lick

In hesitance, but still made quick.

“Tell, Beast, what are they? Do not Tease!

“Reveal to me these secrets, please!"

Inquired the Youth with concern,

Curiosity lit to burn.

Yet he felt some trepidation

While seeking this explanation,

For the Monster gave a smile,

Pointed ears implying wiles.

But neither guile no deceit

Could have this Monster's heart conceived.

With tenderness, Beast drew a breath,

Checking that Youth's hand was still kept,

“My little one, it should be clear

“That one reason why I am here

“Is to demonstrate by proxy

“Something that you may fail to see:

“That in the wild, there are beasts,

“Those who would love your tender meat,

“That many brux their teeth in wait

“Hoping to take you, be your fate.

“But, lo, there are some monsters few,

“Who'd gladly cast their lots with you:

“Sentimental, with hearts of gold,

“Whose loyalty cannot be sold;

“Who, tempered with experience,

“Would come to you without pretense

“And would remain there at your side.

“As such, my model will provide

“Criteria by which to judge

“These beasts by their unique visage."

Youth felt a pain in his heart,

There where those words had hit their mark.

Yes, perfect did this Monster seem

By which to judge these other miens.

Hence, the Youth felt more awakened

To concerns he had forsaken:

“Must I contend with these monsters?

“May I not with others saunter?

“And you have still one reason kept.

“Tell this other, tell me what's left."

At this, the Monster glanced away,

Feeling out how he should assay

The Youth's question, which struck a blow,

A strike that many beasts have known.

Solemnly, the Beast took a breath,

Sighed and pressed onward, half bereft.

“My young one," so the Beast began,

“I know it's hard to understand,

“But this is your clan, you will find.

“Eventually, given time,

“You will see it's for the better,

“Better now than late or never,

“Then suffer under false pretense.

“Yes, with others could you commence

“A frolicking for all your life,

“Until you come up to that strife

“Of duplicity, living near

“That which one would pretend to fear;

“Then fall right into despair's well

“Among others, who'd never tell,

“And die a broken, unfulfilled

“Life created by lies you willed.

“To see the moral, circle back:

“Just I can give you what you lack.

“With me you could have happiness,

“Without, there's only emptiness."

At this, the Youth could merely blink,

Awash with thoughts that made him shrink:

Was this just all a Monster's ruse

To beguile him and confuse?

Yet no, this could not be the case,

For there was hurt in the Beast's face,

A pain that laid back his ears

From looking forward many years.

Was there a glimpse of a future

Where his Youth's pain would be nurtured?

Or down the well in darkened gloom

Where Youth's soul would be crushed too soon?

Dubious thoughts could not abate

As the hours waxed and grew late.

“I see," sighed the Youth and feeling

That the Beast was almost kneeling

By his bed to get close enough,

And saw this Beast was not so rough.

“One thing still does not elude me,"

The Youth said and eyed Beast duly,

“That being what you have answered not:

“The third and final piece of plot.

“Tell me that which you would withhold,

“Since you're so close and act so bold."

The Beast leaned in and licked Youth's face,

Then whispered, nuzzled at cheek's base:

“To say that I cannot aloud:

“That is something you must find out.

“Nonetheless, some clues I'll give you

“For you to ponder and think through:

'From figs of trees I hope to part,

'Cast down to where you miss or catch.

'When thunder claps and gives you start,

'Do I roar loud to make its match.

'Where others part, I always stay.

'Knowing that one day you'll leave.

'If I embrace, you'd push away

'In summer days that come to be.

'But in my absence will they burn

'Your silent ears and empty hands,

'Then my ilk all their backs will turn

'And you're left in desolate lands.

'Just know for now, you're not alone,

'That I will ease your bereft state

'To lift your weight of heavy stones

'And this absence satiate.

'Only when you guess at it,

'Will you my raison d'être glean.

'Through acceptance, clarity hits

'And this all the truth you will deem.'"

Upon completion of that phrase,

The Beast drew back at Youth to gaze,

Only to find that his words hurt

The part of Youth that was his dearth.

Youth's mouth turned down, his eyes just slits

As he shivered; his hands were fists.

From his lashes did a tear fade,

Harbinger of a small cascade.

Nearing the boarder of his sleep,

With stress, his wake he could not keep.

“What is it? Where?" the Youth murmured,

“I cannot find where it's interred.

“Is it something that I have lost

“That will not see me or accost?

“From this thing did I make distance?

“Or try to near with persistence?

“It tears into me, bit by bit,

“Digging deeper an awful pit.

“And without it, I feel so cold,

“For I have something precious sold,

“Or, just perhaps, it was denied.

“Regardless, all of my strength flies!

“Exhausted, I'm empty, feeling

“Gravity take hold and reeling

“Me back to earth and further still

“Into a well that I would fill,

“Then sink back in waters tepid,

“Drowning deep beneath the rapid

“Cascade of dreams, but still breathing,

“Crying out and nearly screaming

“For what it is I have no more

“That missing part an open sore!

“Beast, do you know what you have struck?

“Was this your guile or just luck?

“Tell me now that I'm all in tears

“Have you waited for all these years

“To boil up my scar to snatch?

“To cause me pain was this plot hatched?"

Though in soft whispers was this said,

Could Beast discern Youth's hurt and dread.

Perhaps Youth felt Beast's prior mind,

His insidious, cruel design?

Or, possibly, could it be fright

From all that Beast revealed tonight?

Maybe a mixture of the twain.

But why did Beast demure, abstain

From ripping Youth up with his claws

And stuff those morsels in his maw?

Youth felt the Beast hitch a breath,

Then felt the tenderest caress.

“Little one, don't be mistaken,"

Whispered the Beast, his voice shaken,

“I've come to help you understand

“The path you may walk while a man.

“Do you not see I'm here to help?

“I'd never hurt you, little whelp.

“Can you not feel my affection

“Growing, starting with our session?

“You must know one fact to be true:

“That I love and grow fond of you.

“I think that from our first moments,

“Since I've glanced your inner torment,

“That you and I are more than one,

“That all we do's together done.

“So, know that you I'd never shirk,

“Not for all others here on Earth!

“And I'll help fill your deepest void,

“To comfort you, my little boy.

“With me could you always abscond.

“I'm at your service, precious bond."

So, beast must have one to protect,

To love or become derelict;

To provide Youth his assurance,

Which he would with all obduracy.

As his youth began to fret,

Almost caught in sleep's lurking net,

Tears signaled the yearning he felt

For his Beast's solace and his help.

At last, Beast wrapped Youth in his arms,

Vowed and swore to prevent all harms

As Youth quietly wrapped him in his.

Together in their auspices,

Youth nodded against the Beast's chest.

While Beast bent down his nose to rest

On Youth's head, calm, to steal his scent,

Hoped their repose would never end.

“So, you promise you'll never leave?"

Youth sighed, treading, almost asleep.

“Never," purred back the beast, entrapped.

As if Youth's chain his neck enwrapped.

Thence the thought began to settle

That solitude would Beast nettle;

That Beast needed youth fervently,

Maybe much more than his boy's need.

Hence this night was said and done,

Beast would to Youth near nightly come.

But so one is left to ponder,

Left in thought and left in wonder:

Did Youth endure a Beast to tame,

Or Beast reach out and catch his game?