Loveless Incantation: Chapter 16
Imported from SF2 with no description.
I awaken to the sound of my own ragged breathing, the memory of yesterday’s pain lingering like an unwelcome guest. Disoriented, I sit up, my vision swimming as I take in the unfamiliar surroundings of my room. Shaking off the remnants of sleep, I push aside the covers and swing my legs over the edge of the bed. My body protests, the dull ache a subtle reminder of the physical toll this journey is taking on me.
“Mornings used to be so much simpler,” I mutter under my breath, a faint smile playing on my lips as I recall the days when my biggest concern was what to have for breakfast and taking care of my dog. “How long has it been since I’ve seen her?”
I find myself absentmindedly rubbing the spot on the bed where we used to sleep, the memory of her soft fur still vivid in my mind. It’s funny how a small creature could leave such a gaping hole in one’s life. Her absence is a constant reminder of the life I left behind, a life that now feels like a distant dream. Shaking those thoughts away, I return to the task at hand. I’m going to speak with Azure.
But before I can do that, I need some time to bathe. The fact is, I know I look like a wreck. Doing something as routine as washing will ease my mind, if only for a time. A light knock echos on my door. It may be Shadow or Princess. I had to turn them away last night, as the pain coursing through me is becoming difficult to control.
Either way, I take a long breath in before casting a spell to make my appearance somewhat presentable before walking over and answering. I met with Lilith’s eye-level chest before my gaze trailed up to meet hers.
“What brings you by?”
Her eyes flicker like she’s trying to decide where to look. Such a strange personality shift. Has being around me become awkward for her? What happened while I was out helping Lacey?
“I—I’d like to spar with you, Hero,” she stutters.
Ah, so that’s it. She’s probably itching for some action.
“Right now? Because I’d like to bathe first if it’s all the same to you.”
Her fur flushes a shade deeper as she turns her face to the wall, almost as if she’s talking to it rather than me.
“Allow me to show you the way.”
Without another word, Lilith is walking off. The start of this day isn’t what I expected, but I’ll roll with it.
“Here we are, Hero,” Lilith announces. “A watering hole. Heated by a nearby magma flow.”
Nestled amidst towering rocks, the bathhouse is an unexpected gem—open-air, and while rough, it looks natural, exposed to the cool morning air. Mist hovers over the water’s surface, a testament to its warmth.
“Thanks for showing me.”
I turn around and find Lilith already undressed. Our eyes meet; she looks momentarily flustered, the fur around her muzzle darkening so much it looks like a band of black fur is starting to appear.
“I’ve already had my morning workout,” she says, almost as if justifying herself.
Bathing with others isn’t a new experience for me, especially not with canine demons. Group bathing was something I had to quickly get over, as it was the norm for the humans I fought with, though admittedly not with the opposite sex. But still, I find myself captivated by Lilith—her toned muscles look even more striking without the usual light armor and scraps of cloth. Her fur gives her some modesty but I can’t deny the lump in my throat either. Yet, the subtlety of her femininity, the curvature of her form, catches my attention the most right now.
Realizing I’ve lingered too long, I avert my gaze, partly out of respect and mostly out of courtesy.
“If you don’t mind, then,” I say, shedding my clothes without hesitation and stepping into the bath.
Without a word, Lilith follows suit. Soon, the tension seeps from our bodies, replaced by comfort as the natural warmth envelops us. I gaze upwards, losing myself in the vast expanse of the sky. But even now, I can feel the pain eating away at me.
“...Hero,” Lilith says softly.
“Yeah?” I respond, my eyes still locked onto the clouds drifting lazily overhead.
“What do you think about fate?”
Well, that’s certainly a strange question for Lilith to ask. But I suppose considering who’s sitting next to her, she can’t help but wonder what’s happening. We used to be enemies, yet here we are, alive, bathing together. The “fate” of those before her were quickly buried. It’s not surprising she’s questioning these things.
“Fate is just a fancy word,” I tell her. “Most people imagine it as a grand design. But more often than not, it’s just a god’s scheme.”
“God?” Her voice carries a note of genuine intrigue.
I nod. “Indeed. There are many gods, but not all inhabit the same world. There are even worlds without gods. At least, I know of only two.” I chuckle. “The gods are as flawed as any creature. They get jealous, petty, angry, and so many other emotions. And while they can love, they can hate just as passionately.”
“How do you know all this?” she questions, making me realize I might have given away more than I intended.
“Doesn’t matter,” I say, redirecting the conversation. “What do I think about fate? I think I’d rather do my own thing.”
Just as I start to sink back into the comforting embrace of the hot water, I hear footsteps approaching.
“What do we have here?” The unmistakable sound of Lacey’s voice filters through the steam. “Alex, in the female bathing room?”
I pivot to see her as unfettered by clothing as the rest of us.
“Female bathing room?”
“Been hanging out with the canines too much, have you? Communal bathing isn’t standard practice here,” she points out, completely unfazed.
“I always found such rules stifling,” Princess chimes in, giving me a warm smile. “How are you, Alex?”
“All good,” I answer, my eyes drifting back to the water’s surface. “Nothing strange about this to me.”
Lacey laughs softly. “Well then, let’s make this a party.”
She and Princess wade into the water, the latter cozying beside me. I’m comfortable with it, but I can’t help but wonder what this looks like to the others.
“What have you and Lilly been up to?” Princess queries, casually breaking the silence.
“Talking. She wanted to spar this morning, but I needed a bath.”
Princess leans in, her nose twitching subtly. “Your scent isn’t off-putting, you know.”
“Still, I wanted a moment to unwind.”
Princess leans in closer. “Well, if you’re in a generous mood, would you mind washing me?”
I roll my eyes but can’t suppress a smirk. “Alright, if you insist.”
I summon the shampoo bottle and do as I’ve done many times when I was with the canines. Princess let out a sigh of contentment as I washed her head before moving lower to her shoulders, but like before, I avoided anything too intimate. When I’m done, Princess gives me a thankful smile.
“Thank you, Alex,” she whispers, her eyes meeting mine briefly before shifting towards Lilith. “Interested?”
Lilith seems to wrestle with herself for a moment. “W-Why would I want that?”
“It’s quite the experience,” Princess insists. “You’re missing out.”
Lacey interjects, her curiosity piqued. “What is that foamy stuff you used?”
“It’s for cleaning hair and fur,” I explain, finding amusement in their unfamiliarity with the concept.
“Strange, we just use water,” she says, tilting her head in thought.
“Same with the Canines,” I confirm. “But I do things differently.”
Lacey taps her bottom lip momentarily before flashing me a smile. “Mind washing me next?”
Well, this shouldn’t be a surprise. It’s something new, and I’d rather just get it over with than try to argue. I don’t even say anything and instead, move closer before I start on her head.
“Ah, that scent is nice. What is it?” she inquires.
“A blend of the flowers that bud from the fruit trees,” I answer.
“Interesting. I can’t speak to its cleaning efficacy, but it’s calming.”
I repeat the process I used on Princess, steering clear of any intimate areas. As I move away, I notice Lilith biting her lip, her eyes betraying her desire for a similar experience.
“Guess I might as well complete the set,” I say, heading over to her.
There’s a brief moment where she wants to protest, but no words escape her, and I can feel all her tension dissolve as I begin. It takes a bit longer because she’s larger, but when I finish, I give myself a quick wash. By the time I’m done, their fur has taken on a new shine, and both Lacey and Lilith seem enamored by its smoothness.
“What an interesting outcome,” Lacey states. “Could you provide me with the recipe for this shampoo?”
I chuckle under my breath. “Sure.”
Now, we just sit in silence, taking everything in. It’s not what I expected this morning, but it’s nice in a way. But there are plenty of things that still need to be done. Wanting to get the ball rolling, I turn to Lilith, who now has a gentle smile on her lips as she looks at her fur.
“Should we start sparring soon?”
As if waking up from a trance, I note hesitation in her eyes.
“If you wish.” She answers reluctantly.
“Come now, Alex,” Lacey speaks up. “You would have a female dirty herself after such a fine cleaning? Of course, a male would think nothing of it, but even Lilith likes to feel pretty sometimes.”
When I return my gaze to Lilith, she’s looking away from me, clearly trying to hide her embarrassment. Right, I guess it’s rare for moments like this where she can treat herself with something besides training.
“Then I’ll let you three enjoy yourselves.” I rise out of the bath and quickly dry myself with a spell before getting dressed, but pause momentarily to leave the shampoo bottle behind. “This one is on the house. Until then.”
Princess and Lacey wave as I make my way out and into the hallway. Alright, it’s time to start my day.
“Why did you have to say that?” Lilith asks, covering her muzzle momentarily before plunging her face into the water.
“I merely spoke the truth,” Lacey replies, a giggle escaping her lips. “Was I mistaken?”
Lilith briefly contemplates staying underwater, sinking into the depths to escape this emotional turmoil. But soon, a firm grip lifts her, and she locks eyes with Princess.
“Lilly, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be seen as a female,” Princess tells her.
“It’s just...” Lilith exhales deeply. “I never knew my fur could look so beautiful.” She glances down at her shimmering coat, taking a moment to appreciate its newfound softness.
“Look, you don’t need curves like mine to attract males,” Lacey chimes in, scooting a little closer.
“I second that. Alex seems perfectly happy with my build, and I’m nowhere near your third-generation physique,” Princess adds.
“Oh? Speaking of which, you two were pretty cozy earlier,” Lacey remarks.
Princess smiles. “I was not trying to hide it. I’d take no other male than him if he accepted it.”
“Truly?” Lacey ponders this for a moment. “Is it just because he’s strong? While the canine’s have not personally experienced loss during the war, you know who he is. What could make you feel so strongly about him?”
Princess smirks. “You remind me of your mother, Lacey. Always so inquisitive.”
“Trying to change the subject?”
“I’m just an old girl living her finest memories.” Princess deflects, her gaze drifting to the morning sky. “We have our own reasons for trusting Alex. And don’t think I haven’t noticed you’ve also been using his name.”
Lacey winces, then sighs. “Fair point, Eldest.”
“Did something happen between you two?” Lilith probes.
“I suppose there’s no harm in telling you two about yesterday.”
I’m en route to Azure’s throne room when I spot Bane lingering in the hall. He’s been a puzzle lately, but his intent is crystal clear today. He’s facing me head-on, trembling lightly but clearly gearing up for a showdown. I decided to let him make the first move and continue walking. As I pass by, I can hear his teeth grind.
“Hero,” his voice reverberates in the empty hallway.
“What can I do for you?” I reply, not turning to face him.
“I need a moment of your time.”
As much as I want to talk to Azure, some things must come first.
“Go ahead, I’m listening,” I assure him.
“Follow me.”
So I do. Bane’s plan is a mystery, but all I can do is hang tight and see where this leads.
Unsurprisingly, he leads me into a pitch-black room. The door seals shut, locking out every sliver of light. But thanks to my dark vision, I can still make him out. He’s restless, one moment grabbing his muzzle, the next almost instinctively reaching for his dagger. Even in the darkness, he’s out of his element. This likely won’t go anywhere unless I start the conversation.
“You’ve got me where you want me, Bane,” I say, breaking the silence. “This must be pretty important to bring me to your room.”
I glance around, and it’s a pitiful sight. The entire room is bare, just a lone blanket in a corner. Not even a bed is present. I haven’t seen each general’s room, but even the guest room I’m staying in has furniture. If Bane’s room is empty, this was his choice. It’s sad in a way because, out of all the generals, I resonate with Bane the most. This room of nothing but darkness, I know that feeling well.
“I want you dead, Hero,” he blurts out. “If you die, everything will be better.”
“Maybe for a while,” I agree. “But sooner or later, there will come a day when the clans will fight for what is in the human world. As those resources dwindle, there will be no difference than what you have now.”
He clenches his jaw. “I don’t care. Let them fight, let them die. I’ll use that time to protect what’s mine.”
“You don’t need me dead to protect something.” I counter. He’s about to argue, but all he does is look away, disgusted. “But I strongly feel this isn’t where you wanted this conversation to go. What’s actually on your mind?”
For the first time since we’ve met, Bane turns his back to me. Something many of the generals unconsciously still avoid doing readily, and yet he did so to hide his features. Seeing his true feelings is far more terrifying than having me at his back.
“Ever felt real hunger, Hero? The kind that’s not about missing a meal but more like a monster eating you from the inside?” As he says this, I can’t help but notice a shiver snake down his spine, as if the past has its claws dug in deep. “You ever know the weight of taking a life? Hearing the twisted whispers of someone bent on hurting those you’d give your last breath for? And then, as your blade pierces their flesh, feeling an eerie sense of relief wash over you? And despite them being worse than dung... you can’t help but cry for having lost something inside of you that can never return? Can you even begin to understand that weight?”
Yeah, Bane and I are definitely torn from the same cloth, far more than he realizes. It’s strange in a way. All those years ago, when I fought him, just by looking into his eyes, I felt that sensation of looking in a mirror. There are undoubtedly things he’s lived through I could never comprehend, but we share a lot.
“It’s quite a unique pain, isn’t it?” I say, my chuckle more hollow than humorous. “I’ve been set aflame, impaled, beaten, and had pieces of me severed. Yet, nothing quite matches the all-consuming void of that hunger. Except for one thing, but that’s a different kind of pain altogether.” As I say this, an involuntary shiver creeps up my spine, evoking memories of my dog. “You forgot one crucial thing, though.”
“What’s that?”
“The hunger we felt? It would never compare to watching those we care about waste away.”
The tremble in his body halts; his fur bristles as if electrically charged. Slowly, he pivots to face me, eyes wide, blood oozing from the corner of his mouth where he’s bitten his cheek to hold back the flood of suppressed emotions. The look he offers me isn’t just recognition; it’s as if he’s found a piece of his soul staring back at him.
“About taking a life to protect a loved one,” I continue, turning my back to him as if the weight of my sins might be less visible that way. “I can’t say I understand that burden. I was just a naive kid, doing what he was told to escape the void left by losing the only thing that mattered.” My voice drops lower, laced with raw sincerity. “I have this lingering certainty that the next time I die, hell’s gates will swing wide open just for me. Not that I have any room to complain.”
.
..
...
“Give me a break, Hero.” Bane’s laughter, hollow and resonant, slices through the heavy air. “Hell was supposed to be my vacation from you.”
His words catch me off guard, and a genuine laugh bursts from me, raw and uncontained. Our laughter merges, a cathartic release that ripples through the tense atmosphere, lingering until our throats run dry and our sides ache. Only then could we stop, and when I turned to face Bane, he looked utterly defeated. It’s to be expected. He came here hoping to turn me to their side, but he doesn’t know that it’s not about taking sides; it’s something much larger than that.
“Tell me about your clan.” I break the silence.
His voice carries a weight of exhaustion as he responds, “It’s nothing like the greater clans. We’re out on the edges, where chaos reigns. Murder, rape, theft—it’s the norm. But even in that hellhole, there’s something... someone worth staying for.”
I kneel beside him, offering a silent gesture of support with a hand on his shoulder. His eyes, usually so guarded, flicker with a hint of something more beneath the surface. “If you need anything, all you have to do is ask.”
He looks into my eyes, still unsure, and now that I’m this close, I can see an almost child-like innocence from him. This side of him is nothing like what I faced when he was serious, but it is something vulnerable and easily confused.
“The kits,” he starts, the words catching slightly in his throat. “They’re barely scraping by. They need the basics – food, water.”
“Consider it done,” I assure him, gesturing towards the door. “Lead the way.”
After a moment’s hesitation, where his gaze seems to search for something unseen, he nods. “Follow me into the shadows.”
Glancing down, I notice the shadows creeping up my leg, tendrils of darkness twining around me. A sense of anticipation washes over me as I recognize the signs of a long-range teleportation spell. I let out a slow breath, surrendering to the engulfing inky blackness. Moments later, it dissolves, revealing Bane and me standing in a dark, cramped abode. I instinctively duck to avoid the low-hanging beams. But something is amiss. The air is tainted with a metallic tang.
Bane wastes no time. He darts towards the source of the scent, his movements swift and determined. I trail closely behind, but nothing prepares us for the sight around the corner. A heart-wrenching scene unfolds – a massacre. Children and Daisy, the older weasel I had seen just yesterday by the watering hole, lay motionless, their bodies forming a tragic tapestry in a pool of blood.
Bane’s reaction is visceral. He stumbles forward, knees hitting the ground with a dull thud beside Daisy. His paws, usually so steady in battle, shake as they hover over her, hesitant to confirm the reality before him. It’s a silent, heart-wrenching moment, where his facade crumbles, revealing the raw grief beneath. He struggles against himself but rests his paw on her. His touch is filled with unspoken words and emotions.
Giving him his moment, I scan the scene, a frown creasing my brow. The blood, it’s not as coagulated as I would expect. My eyes catch a hint of dilution – water has mixed with the blood. My senses extend outward, searching for the waterskin I had given Daisy, but it’s nowhere to be found in the house. This was more than a senseless act; it was a robbery that turned bloody.
“Bane, a waterskin is missing,” I say, breaking the silence.
He doesn’t react, his gaze still fixed on Daisy. “Was this the ‘different’ pain you were talking about?” When he looks up at me, his eyes are vacant, lost in a sea of pain. “How awful.”
Before I knew it, his dagger was piercing the palm of my hand—I had lunged to keep the blade from his throat. I grab his other hand, stopping him from what he’s about to do. He struggles, but I hold fast. He can’t die here! I need all the generals to live!
“Bane, you have to listen to me. This is not your time yet.”
“Let go of me!”
He’s so out of it that he could easily teleport away in the shadows, but I have to stop this before he realizes that. But only one thing can be done, and doing so will come at a significant cost.
“I can bring them back.” As soon as that left my lips, his entire body went limp. “Put your dagger away. Find who did this and do what you’re best at.”
“Y-You’re lying,” he stammers, disbelief clouding his voice.
“What do I gain from lying?” I state.
“All you’ll bring back are corpses,” he mutters.
“My magic isn’t like Shadow’s. They will wake up, like it was all a bad dream.” I let go of him, tearing the blade from my palm and offering it to him. “You decide, Bane. End it here, or hurry up and find who did this.”
He grits his teeth, never turning to face me but grabbing his dagger.
“I won’t take long.” Is all he says as he falls into the shadows.
I take a moment to look at the lifeless corpses before me. I hoped I’d have more time to finish things, but I must work with what I’m given. Kneeling low, I pick up Daisey and prepare this room for the ritual and a few spells for what comes after.