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UnReality TV: The Series

Episode 1

“Arf!” The coyote named Bill who had clearly always been a coyote barked out a greeting. He was currently standing on a sandy beach next to the fox kit called who was maybe once an adult fox but was definitely probably never a human.

“A wonderful greeting to you too Bill!” Jack replied. “And welcome everyone to the new hit reality show UnReality TV!”

“Yap!” Bill tilted his head and stared at Jack.

“What?” Jack looked taken aback. “I get to welcome them too! You don’t get to hog all the lines!”

“Woof!” Bill turned his head back and let his tongue hang out in a mocking smile.

“I’m not redundant! I assure you people at home enjoy hearing me say it just as much as you!” Jack protested and thrashed his tail angrily.

“Arooooo,” The coyote turned his attention back to the camera to address that.

“Right you are Bill!” The fox kit echoed his sentiment. “And for our first episode we’ll be having a basic contest among our six contestants! One of which will be eliminated and kicked off the island at the end of the episode! But first before we get into what our contest today is… Let’s meet our contestants!”

“Yip!” Bill bristled.

“Well I know I just recapped what you said,” Jack rolled his eyes. “But if you have to literally say everything then there’s nothing else for me to do! You don’t have a monopoly on banter ya know!” As Jack spoke he stuck his tongue out at Bill.

“Yap!” Bill narrowed his eyes and stared down at Jack.

“Oh am I acting childish?” Jack’s voice asked in the most sarcastic tone possible. “Maybe you shouldn’t have turned me into an actual child then!”

“Arrrf!” Bill sat a paw atop Jack’s back and pushed down on the fox kit forcing him down onto the ground. “Yaaaap!”

“Ugh fine whatever,” Jack groaned as he was forced down. “But this isn’t over! Okay… As he said, let’s let each of our contestants introduce themselves real quick.”

Six humans were lined up on the beach, three men and three women. Each of them was dressed less like an actual person and more like caricature of a person. It was as if someone had designed them as living stereotypes to make them easy to pick out.

“Um hi,” a pale skinned girl dressed in all black spoke. She had black hair with pink highlights. “My name is Emily and I have no idea why I’m dressed like this… I just mentioned that I had read a couple horror novels during the interview and then they made me spend three hours in wardrobe and makeup to make me look like this.”

“As you can see,” Jack interrupted. “Emily has a rather dark sense of humor! She’s into spiders, horror and emo poetry! She is every bit the picture of the modern goth!”

“I’m really not,” Emily muttered.

“Hey!” It was a short guy that spoke up next. He was dressed in a pair of long pants, a polo shirt, and a pair of thick classes. “My name is Justin, and I don’t actually need these glasses. They don’t have lenses, but wardrobe said I had to wear them.”

“Justin is a classic nerd,” Jack spoke over him. “Look at those thick glasses. He’s probably never played a sport in his life.”

“I was high school football,” Justin objected.

“Hey there everyone in TV land!” The next girl spoke in an excited voice. She was in an ankle length dress with a white apron over it. She had a book clutched to her chest. “Name is Ava and I’m ready to party it up on UnReality TV!”

“As you can see Ava is plain looking quiet bookish girl,” Jack explained. “She’s the type you’re more likely to find in a book than at a party.”

“I thought the book was just a pun about me being a former cover girl!” Ava objected.

“Uh hey… Hello…” A rather tall man spoke next. He was dressed very simply in gym shorts, a sleeveless shirt and a pair of basketball shoes. “I’m… Ed.” He looked away from the camera. “And… I’m um… Um… Ed…” He stared down at his feet unable to think of more.

“Ed is your classic All-American athlete!” Jack chattered. “Brimming with confidence and manliness! He’s a man’s man who doesn’t let anyone push him around!”

“Oh um okay… If you say so…” Ed spoke in a tone barely above a whisper.

“Good afternoon,” the final female of the group spoke up. She was dressed in a knee length skirt and tube top. She also wore glow stick bracelets around each of her wrists. “My name is Sophia, and I’ll be winning this contest using my superior intellect.”

“Sophia is a real party princess!” Jack continued his own commentary on each of the contestants. “She may be popular but she doesn’t have a lot of smarts.”

“I have a doctorate,” Sophia stamped her foot in frustration.

The last person didn’t speak. He was a man who could be described as neither tall nor short. Unassuming was about the only word that could describe him. He wore pants and a long sleeved shirt. There was a noticeable lack of any form of noise in his general area. It wasn’t even clear if he was even breathing. Instead he just stared at the camera as if staring into the souls of the audience.

“Uhhh Steve that…” Jack seemed at a loss for words. “That was your chance to introduce yourself and… You know what it doesn’t matter Steve will probably be going home first…”

“Arf!” Bill let out a shout. Now that each of the contestants had been introduced it was time to announce the first competition. “Aroo!” With that the rules had been explained. Each of the contestants immediately took off into the forest. Well… Each of them except for Steve… He continued to sit there staring out into space.

“And they are off!” Jack wagged his tail happily. “At least most of them all! Um… Let’s just… pan the camera away from Steve for a bit…” At Jack’s request the camera moved so that only he and Bill were visible. “So you all at home already heard the rules! But just to pass the time we’ll recap! Hidden within the island’s forest are six magical totems! This contest is a race to see who can find one of the totems first and get back here to the beach! Whoever arrives first wins immunity from elimination this round!”

“Arf!” Bill stood up and wagged his tail.

“That’s right Bill!” Jack echoed the coyote. “There is one more twist! Each of the totems is marked… And will assign each of our contestants onto a team! Whichever team our victor is assigned to today will not face elimination this week! The remaining team will have to send one of their own home! And I have a pretty good idea who they’re going to-“

“…” Steve was suddenly standing right behind Bill and Jack.

“YAP!?” Bill’s fur stood on end as the coyote leaped a full foot into the air. Jack didn’t do much better as he actually fell over.

“Steve!?” Jack shouted. “When did you! I mean… You can’t just come to the finish line! You have to retrieve a totem!”

“…” Steve didn’t respond. Instead he continued to stare off into space. However, a small wooden object sat in the sand next to his feet. It looked like a carving of a bear.

“Oh…” Jack studied the carving. “I guess… You got a totem… And got back already…” Jack stared at Steve quizzically as if expecting something. “Didn’t you like… Touch it at any point? I mean you look… A little… I mean… You know what it doesn’t matter… I guess Steve wins immunity for his team I’m just…” Jack got up and slowly took a few steps away from Steve. “Going to stand over here.”

Within the woods the remaining five contestants were still searching for their totems. One of them was moving slightly slower than the rest.

“Okay…” Sophia looked around. “Let’s work smarter not harder. If I was the game designer where would I hide one of the totems? Has to be readily available so that the game doesn’t go on forever… But out of plain sight so we wouldn’t solve it immediately… Aha!” Sophia spied a tree with a hollow indent in it. She shoved her hand inside and felt a smooth wooden object. She closed her hands around it and pulled out a small wooden carving of a mouse. “Found you!” She studied it for a moment, then turned to leave, only to stop as she suddenly felt a strange sense of vertigo. “What’s… happening… squeak!?” Sophia became aware of the forest floor suddenly seeming to close in on her… Her clothes suddenly felt like they were far too loose on her and… Something was growing out from her spine.

Sophia wasn’t the only one having an experience. Justin had slowly climbed his way up a tree where he found a wooden carving of a lion tied to the end of a branch. He carefully untied it held it in his hand with a smile.

“Ha! That was pretty easy for the first-“ He paused at this point as he examined his hand. There were claws on the tips of his fingers… And pads forming on the palms of his hands. “Whoa… What the heck is this?” He asked out loud. As he did tan hair began to grow over most of his body. He also began to get larger and more muscular. His clothing began to rip as the changes continued. “Whoa… Whatever this is… It’s kind of cool,” Justin seemed more fascinated by what was happening to his body than alarmed. At least he did for a few moments. Then the branch he was currently sitting on began to make a cracking noise. “Uh oh…” And the branch snapped in two underneath Justin’s increased weight sending the boy plummeting to the ground.

Ava meanwhile had located her own totem within a hole in the ground. She noticed a small opening beneath the roots of a tree. Digging around in it she produced a wooden carving of a rabbit from the hole.

“Aha! Victory, thy name is-“ Ava started to say only to stop as she heard a loud ‘sproing’ sound come from the top of her head. “What the?” She slowly reached up a hand to touch at her head… And discovered that her ears were now incredibly long and fluffy. “What!?” She stared at the carving in her hand… Her hand that was now covered in cream colored fur. “Hey! No one said anything about these totems being cursed! Ahhhh!” She began to toss the totem from hand to hand. As she did the changes continued. Her feet became large rabbit-like paws destroying her shoes. “Do I put it back or complete the challenge… Put it back or complete the challenge?” She stared at it for a bit… Before finally deciding on the challenge and taking off running at full speed through the forest.

Emily was the next one to find a totem... mostly by accident. A wall of vines had been hung over a small cave entrance. She had stopped to catch her breath, leaned against the vines and then suddenly fell through them into the cave. A wooden carving of a wolf was sitting on the cave floor. After recovering from the fall she swiped it up and prepared to leave… Then stopped as she heard a sudden ripping noise from her pants. Turning behind her she saw that she now had a long black furred tail.

But that wasn’t nearly as upsetting as what else she saw.

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me,” Emily moaned as she examined her new wolf tail. There were pink highlights running through her tail. “This is not my style! Why are you forcing this on me!?” As the fur began to spread through most of her body, she was more distracted plucking a hair from her tail to examine the roots. To her horror, even the roots were pink. “It’s not even dye what is this ridiculous-“ Emily began to rant as the changes continued.

While she was ranting Ed was still in search of his totem. He was the last one to find his. It wasn’t hard to find, he just moved slower through the forest as if constantly scared something might jump out at him. He eventually found a small wooden carving of a deer hidden on the ground surrounded by tall grass. He picked it up and began to slowly walk back to the beach only to stop as he felt as if something was wrong. A pair of antlers slowly grew out of his head… And his feet slipped out of his sneakers as they became hard hooves.

“Oh um okay…” Ed muttered. “I guess… that’s probably okay… I mean I um… Don’t want to make a fuss.” Ed sagged his shoulders and accepted his fate. He slowly marched back towards the beach without even giving the transformation any more of a thought.

Back on the beach Bill and Jack had put some distance between themselves and Steve. They slowly waited for the contestants to show up.

The first to show up was Ava. She was covered in cream colored fur, and had long rabbit ears. She was about half as tall as she used to be and desperately trying to keep her dress on as she hopped forward. She had lost her book… And after a few more hops lost her dress as well as she reached the beach.

“No one said anything about curses,” Ava complained as she dropped her totem in front of Bill. “But at least it’s a cute animal. I’d be very upset if you turned me into an ugly duckling!” Despite her lack of clothing she didn’t seem that concerned. Her body was covered in fur so as far as she was concerned she was still modest. Besides, she really didn’t like the dress that she had been forced to wear.

Ed was the next one to show up. His shorts and shirt still fit him, though his shoes had been destroyed by his new hooves. A tall pair of antlers stood atop his head as he walked forward trying to balance his totem with his new hoof-like hands. He delivered it in front of Bill and then quickly took a few steps away from everyone trying very hard not to be the center of attention.

Emily was the next one to show up. Her clothes had been greatly ripped, but were still on her. (Well, except her shoes.) Her entire body was covered in black fur. The only exception were the pink highlights in her tail as well as pink highlights on her ear tips. She growled as she deposited her idol in front of Bill.

“Just so you know, first thing I do after this is over is dye out these pink stripes,” then she sat down on the beach and curled her tail around herself.

Justin was the next one to finish. He strode onto the beach seeming quite satisfied with himself. He was almost a foot taller in height now and much more muscular. A large mane of hair surrounded his neck, and he had a tail with along tuft.

“Is it wrong that I completely love this?” Justin asked as he neared. He held onto his totem slightly longer than the other contestants so far. His body was also more animalistic. His clothes had been torn to shreds and he now technically stood naked. However due to him now looking like a humanoid lion walking on two feet it was hard to say he looked unnatural that way. He slowly released his totem, seeming sad about giving it up… With his part in the contest over, he quickly ran to the ocean water to try and look at his reflection.

Sophia was the last to return. She was having trouble. She was now quite small. While even Justin retained some traces of his humanity, Sophia was completely animal. She was a tiny mouse desperately trying to push a totem across the ground that was bigger than she was. It was not easy; and dragging that thing out of the forest had been extremely time consuming for the little brown mouse.

“Arf!” Bill wagged his tail seeing everyone assembled.

“Looks like everyone is here!” Jack called out. “So… Now then! You may notice your totems were divided into two different kinds of animals… Predators and prey! And so we have our teams! Team Predator consists of Steve, Justin and Emily! And Team Prey consists of Ava, Ed, and Sophia. Steve won immunity for his team this week! That means… Prey! You must now pick a member of your team to go-“

“Sophia,” Ava spoke up. “She’s going home.”

“O.. Okay, that’s fine,” Ed responded.

“Squeak!” Sophia’s whiskers tweaked angrily. “SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK!”

“It’s nothing personal,” Ava said. “But well… How do I put this… You’re a mouse. You finished last today and well… You’re not really going to be useful to the team in any physical challenges. Sorry about that. Just the smart choice.”

“SQUEEEEEEEEEAK!” Sophia objected, only to find herself lifted in the air by her tail by Bill.

“Well then, Sophia is our first contestant voted off the island!” He then looked to Bill holding Sophia’s tail tip in his mouth then at the camera. “Don’t worry… He’s not going to eat her. Bill doesn’t eat intelligent mice. No, no, we’ll be placing her in a pet store near you soon! Well… near one of you… There’s only one of her so we can’t place her in a store near all viewers… But well um… Bill’s mouth is kinda occupied at the moment! He can’t really give one of his signature farewell speeches. So… I guess that’s it! We’ll see you all on the next episode of UnReality TV!”

To Be Continued