FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

At long last, we return to the boys.

---

The smell of pancakes and coffee wafting through the house didn't stir any movement; not the clinking of silverware nor the playing of his favourite cartoons.

Sighing softly, Carter pulled it all onto a plate and went and knocked on Aiden's door. His message to Jacob hadn't even been opened and it was the middle of the day.

There was no response from the door. He tried the knob but it was actually locked. Not a hard lock to pick, of course, and he was about to set the plate down and barge right into Aiden's space when he heard a scuffling from within the room.

The door jiggled before unlocking. He pushed it open when Aiden didn't open it up himself and stepped in. Aiden's room was about what you'd expect of a pokemon's own private room:

Messy.

It was bizarre since he barely had clothes to leave around. Besides the bed and television with a whole nest of cords from various appliances, the most striking aspect was the chew marks in places.

There were teeth marks on the wall, for some reason. Carter wasn't even sure how he'd done that; he was pretty confident buizel mouths did not open that wide.

He could be wrong though.

Aiden was sitting on his bed looking like a poochyena that had been kicked in the ribs. It hurt to look at as Carter knew when Aiden was trying to look pathetic and sad for pity.

He also knew how he looked when he was trying not to show it.

“Aiden," Carter sighed, placing the plate down immediately and pulling him into a hug. Aiden just let him hug him, which made Carter even more concerned since he never let him do it without feeling like he was holding onto a dunsparce that spat threats.

He didn't hug back but just let Carter pull him up.

“What happened?" Carter asked, this was alarming him. Aiden was never this quiet.

“Nothing," Aiden muttered.

There was no question that that was a lie and he set him down and-

“Are you crying?"

Aiden shook his head but he was.

Carter sat down next to him. “Dude. What happened? And how much do I need to go back on my word and do my revenge on Kyle anyway?"

Aiden snorted: a wet, messy sound. “Break the bitch. Make him regret being born."

“It'd make him regret his great uncle was ever born," Carter muttered darkly.

Carter sat with Aiden, waiting patiently as Aiden stared down, poking at his legs and pulling at a thread of his blanket before sighing. He sounded ready to speak.

“Napoleon was right," he said, instead of anything that made sense.

“I'm pretty sure Napoleon isn't even sure what left and right are," Carter said almost as a joke.

“He told me I'd get Jacob into trouble," Aiden explained, since he hadn't even told Carter everything that they had fought about. “That I'm pretending like I'm a human. That I'm going to ruin Jacob's life."

Carter was a man of many talents, one of which was controlling himself for proper revenge later, his fingers still tensed firmly on the bed as his lips pinched. “He fucking said that?"

“Yep."

“I might have to kick him."

Aiden snorted again. “Don't. He-"

“-'s not right," Carter finished. Aiden glanced up, Carter's face was a stony sort of firm. “And it's none of his business anyway."

Aiden looked down all the same.

Carter raised his hand, hesitating and hovering over Aiden. He had so rarely seen his little buizel brother this upset.

“What happened between you and Jacob after you left the club?" he asked. He had held some awkward dread about making sex jokes to them both to manage the awkwardness but now he'd wish for that if it'd make Aiden stop looking like he was going to cry.

“He let me out of the ball and put me on his motorcycle and drove," Aiden explained. “I cooled down once we'd gotten back, but… I don't know. Kyle's just that bad I guess. I tried to invite him in, try and make something better to end the night on, and he got mad."

Carter frowned.

“Said our relationship was just sex and I needed to stop acting like it wasn't."

Rarer still, Carter had never felt angry at Jacob before. It was only a moment before he righted himself, he needed more than one side of things and people said things without thinking when they were upset.

“And he's right," Aiden continued. “He's totally fucking right. I can't think of a moment since you locked us in your room that we haven't either argued or fucked."

“Really?" Carter asked, genuinely. “Because I've been here for a lot of it." More than he knows, perhaps. “And you two seem to talk over games and food and everyday life even more."

“Argue," Aiden corrected.

“Which you both enjoy," Carter said. He knew it, they'd both told him that they enjoy it, dramatic assholes they were. “Jacob's told me the same."

Aiden blinked. “He has?"

“Sure has."

“Why is this only coming up now when I'm all sad?" The snark was beginning to return, which heartened Carter but only a little. He needed the emotions to stay for a bit longer.

“He has. I mean, you know Jacob. He just likes to fight for some reason." He glanced at Aiden. “A bit like you, really."

Aiden made a face. “We used to fight over the worst of things," he said.

“Like?"

Aiden paused. There were a lot of surface reasons why they fought. Really, there was only one real answer.

“I was jealous of him," Aiden admitted, feeling too tired to try and lie anymore. “I hated that he got to be close to you and still had no chance."

Carter wasn't the most intelligent man on the planet but he was hardly the dumbest either.

“Oh."

Aiden was back to not looking at him and a part of Carter had to give him credit. Dropping bombshells like that when he wanted to feel angry and alone, but also craving anything but that, just to see what would happen to move his bitterness into something else.

Carter swallowed. “You know I see you as a brother…?"

Aiden nodded, giving a short sigh. “Yeah. I know."

“Same as Jacob, really."

“We both know."

“Is…that why?"

Aiden shrugged. “Can't say. I hated him but I guess just because I hated…." Himself too? What was wrong with him? Wanting Carter when he was only ever family?

Carter was silent for a little longer, trying to gather his thoughts in the wake of this new information. “Do you still?"

“No," Aiden said lightly and that, at least, was the truth. He stiffened and then raised his head, frowning as the tension in his neck seemed to slide away. “Huh. I don't."

He seemed surprised as anything. Carter hadn't pulled away before but now he was actively shuffling closer. “Well… that's probably a good thing."

Aiden snorted. “How? I go from one impossible thought to another? Only it's worse because I now know exactly what I can't have. It's different for pokemon, you know?" he added sharply. “Love and sex. Only, it isn't. It's exactly the same and it all sucks."

Carter was losing ideas of what to say. Maybe that was okay, maybe Aiden didn't want advice and just needed someone to listen.

So, he offered a small, leading question: “It all sucks?"

Aiden nodded. “Every bit of it. I want-" His voice stuttered suddenly and he shrunk down on himself again. Carter sat next to him, warmth touching warmth.

“How pathetic do I sound if I say I just want someone to love me back?"

Carter's heart nearly broke for Aiden then, no longer crying, just holding still in an exhausted sort of silence, barely propping himself up.

“...are you just going to give up?" Carter asked.

Aiden looked at him like he'd suggested they walk into the fireplace and cry Diagon Alley.

“It's one fight," Carter said. “One horribly sucky night that's at no fault to either of you. People say things when they're upset, I know that. I've lived with you and basically him for years and years now. You two fought every single time I had you over, did that stop either of you from sticking around?"

“Where would I go?" Aiden asked bitterly, fiddling with his translator. “Barely a pokemon, not a human, not-"

“Where do you want to go?" Carter asked.

Aiden fell silent.

Carter gave him a smile, strained as it was. “You know I've dated. You've hated every one of the girls I introduced you to, guess I know why now." Aiden glanced away and Carter nudged him. It was meant as a joke. “Guess I know why there was step-brother porn on my computer a few years ago."

“Now is NOT the time!"

Carter almost recoiled but Aiden was right. That was pretty inappropriate to the mood and he was trying to keep it emotional, not twist it into something lighthearted.

He just hadn't realised he was a part of this whole frick-a-frack as well and he was only human; he made mistakes too.

“I'm sorry," Carter apologized, “I'm not great at this and I want to help."

“...you never really said why you were so okay with this," Aiden said. “Why you're so cool with it, you even paid for the date and drove me around. I know I'm not normal but I know that's not normal either."

“I… I see you as my little brother," Carter said, “And Jacob's my best friend. I haven't seen… either of you happy before."

He frowned. Really frowned. “Not just recently, just… in general. Not like this. Not this kind of happy. It's all like… like you're both in something you really have wanted. You argue and poke at each other and then have sex and go back to it all. I just… I haven't seen either of you like this."

“Like it's something… normal? No, that's not the word I'm going for. Casual? Fuck no. Err. I can't really put it into words," he said, stumbling a few times. “I guess it reminds me of a relationship that's already out of the honeymoon stage. Where you know each other, where you won't get along all the time."

“We never get along."

Carter actually smiled. “I think it's the opposite, to be honest. I think arguing is how you two express affection. It is a bit weird but you two are both weird. It's passionate but a kind of passion that isn't that 'Everything wonderful' honeymoon feeling where no one can do any wrong. It's like you're already married and can never get enough of the others' shitty attitude."

Aiden was making a face. “Ugh, that sounds so painfully romantic I want to die."

That got Carter to laugh. “That sounds like a headache to me," he said, still grinning, “But it's how you two operate." He settled a little, thinking. “I've known Jacob forever. I know what he's like, and I know you, and what you're like. Sex… it's just how Jacob showed affection, how he shows love and care. The two aren't always connected but to him it is."

He sighed. “Jacob's dated more than a few people but until Kyle they never lasted long. He's happier complaining to Jess but he always talked to me. Most of the time, they didn't 'match' in the bedroom. Ignoring kinks and whatever and even libido, I think. Just a sort of communication."

“You sure know a lot about sex about a guy who used to have eyes for you."

Carter rolled his eyes. “If I can't make uncomfortable jokes neither can you. All I'm getting at is that you two match."

Aiden let that sink in for a few moments.

“I… does it really even matter?"

“Yes it matters!"

“No, I mean… we just can't. He's human and I'm not. I can't date him or anything."

“The laws have never been clear," Carter pointed out, “and trust me to know them better than you would. Some say yes, some say no, most are just confusing. I'm pretty sure someone in the past muddled the laws on purpose to stop people from getting harmed from them, at least some."

“Well…."

“Don't you want to try?" Carter asked.

“Of course I," Aiden began hotly before deflating. “You're not… you're not listening to me."

“I'm just hearing that you can't," Carter said patiently. “But please, explain."

The floor opened, Aiden opened his mouth to deliver his thesis, painstakingly thought up over the entire night about what, and why, and…

And found himself gaping like a goldeen.

“That's… it's not… I can't… he won't… I don't know!"

“It was one fight," Carter repeated, patting him on the shoulder. “Have you talked to him since?" Aiden shook his head. “Then don't count it over. Maybe we should take some time to cool off, or maybe we can just go over there."

“I don't know if I want to see him," Aiden muttered. “...it's not his fault though."

“You two haven't talked about this stuff, have you?"

Aiden shook his head.

“It's almost funny," he said. “We've never actually slept together before."

Carter nodded. “Clandestine trysts don't leave much time for napping, do they?"

There was a pause before he continued. "Still can't believe you two got away with that for so long." Carter shook his head. “From the humans," he added, because he knew the pokemon knew.

“We never really talked about 'us'," Aiden said. “One of us would always just turn it to sex. He was right about that." About their relationship just being about sex, added Aiden silently.

Carter didn't believe that. “Maybe I should lock you in my room or a closet again?" Aiden raised an eye at him. “And play unsexy music, or clips of glameow coughing up hairballs." Aiden made a horrified look of disgust. “Don't make me do it, because I will."

Aiden chuckled and it was a wonderful sound to hear.

“It's going to be okay," Carter said. “I made pancakes," he added, a little awkwardly. “Might have been better to lead with that than with whatever I just did."

Aiden hopped off his bed. He didn't feel hungry, but Carter was doing his best. He was just that kind of person, who tried to be there for people and made pancakes for all the maid staff rather than having someone cook them for him.

As Aiden ate, he wondered what Jacob was doing.

---

'Can I come over?' The text on Jess's phone said.

'K.' She quickly replied.

It wasn't ten minutes before he was there with red, bloodshot eyes and sadness.

He trudged into her house and sat at her table, not even the drama couch. Table was only for the most serious of conversations and he looked like he was about to cry, so she started making them the capital-g Good hot chocolate.

Once the cup was in his hands and steaming, he began. “You were right, because you always are." She nodded, following along so far. “It was a date."

There was a flicker of fear in Jacob's face, one that Jess hated to see. Like she'd judge him for anything. When Jacob had come out to them. When he left his parents place at fifteen. When he told them Kyle had been abusive.

That kind of fear.

“And that's bad?"

“I wasn't dating Carter," Jacob said, dancing around it. Jess nodded, taking a sip. “...you know what I'm getting at, right?"

“Do you want me to ring Rick and tell him he won the bet?"

“Rick knew!?"

“When you left last night, he put a bet on enemies to lovers. I kinda already had a feeling since the Christmas Party."

Jacob sighed, it sounded frustrated but she knew it was relief. Relief that she knew, or at least suspected, and didn't care.

“Isn't that weird?" he asked, still not putting a name to it. “Me and…?"

Jess took a careful sip of the hot chocolatey liquid, swirling it before swallowing. She had a marshmallow in hers, two in Jacob's.

“If Aiden was your pokemon," Jess began. “Maybe I'd feel a bit different. I still wouldn't care, it'd just be the whole complicated 'Are you a pet or a dependent or what exactly are you in my care?' thing going on. Since he's not, I don't really think it's weird."

He took a breath. “Not many people are as open minded."

“Maybe. Maybe they aren't as brave to say it?"

He took a sip: it burned but that was good.

“So, I've been sleeping with Aiden for the last few months," he said plainly. Jess nodded. “Aiden. The little bastard buizel I hated."

“At least that's past tense. Hate sex isn't fun for long."

“I don't know when it changed," he admitted. “Carter locked me and him in his room one day, done with all the fighting and it just… happened."

“Had you thought about it before?"

Jacob went to refuse but, then, didn't. “I don't know," he said instead, uncomfortable and awkwardly looking away. “I liked going to Luc's after all. I can't say a pokemon never popped up in my head."

“Plus, you like to argue."

“It's how I talk!"

“It is." Jess nodded, sensibly making sense.

Jacob stared at the wise woman in front of him in frustration for a moment before setting his cup down. “I think I was scared to admit I liked him," he said. “It was easier to imagine it was just sex."

“Nothing's just sex to you, though," Jess said gently. Jacob's expression was as fragile as cracking glass but she continued on. “Come on, I've been there with all the guys and heard stories you wouldn't tell even Carter."

“How can I be sure I like anyone if I get these feelings for everyone I fuck?" Jacob asked bitterly. “I thought since I hated Aiden it'd be easy, just feel good and then go home but it still happened. If I l-loved Kyle for it…." He trailed off, not sure where to go with the words.

Jess still heard it as it was meant. 'If I loved Kyle despite everything he did to me, how can I trust I can love anyone?'

She set her hand on his. “Jacob…."

He looked up.

“Have you ever talked to Aiden about any of this?"

Jacob snorted. “Of course I haven't. I've been doing my absolute best to never talk about anything with him. It happens anyway," he sighed. They had amazing arguments over a wide array of things far removed from any game of gossip.

“Did you ever talk to Kyle?" she asked. “Or Lee? Or Chase? Or any of them?"

Jacob looked down, fiddling with his cup. “You seem awfully convinced that this is some grand romantic 'True Love' situation when I'm feeling like the biggest piece of shit ever crapped out."

“Delightful imagery," she said, shuddering. “I just… I haven't seen you like this before."

He frowned at her in confusion, squinting a little.

“You seem happy," she said simply and… oh.

Jacob's eyes were firmly on the cup now. “You said that like I've never been happy. I can be happy without being in a relationship."

She nodded. “I know. I guess I implied that wrong. I've never seen you this happy. This fulfilled. You're warmer, you smile more, you… dammit Jacob you look at people more. I don't know if in the fifteen plus years I've known you that you've even so much as met my eyes until the last few months."

“You're making this sound worse," Jacob groaned. “Like I can't even be as much me without being in a relationship."

Jess sighed. “I'm doing this wrong then. You should never 'need' someone, that's going to be toxic in some way eventually. But… want?"

Jacob gripped the handle of his cup tightly. “I haven't even gotten to why I'm upset," he muttered.

“Go ahead."

“We ran into Kyle last night." The words came pouring out. “After everything else. He… he could tell what was going on just looking at me." He looked uncomfortable just to be in his own skin. “I feel like everyone can tell and Rick making accurate bets isn't making me feel any better about that!"

Jess winced. The betting was usually held away from group matters but she'd been convinced and now it'd hurt Jacob.

“Aiden nearly attacked him, I had to restrain him, until Carter summoned him back into the ball. He gave it to me and we left."

“He gave you the pokeball?" Jess asked, surprised. Not because of Carter having it but Jacob even accepting that. They all knew how he felt about confining pokemon in those things.

“I let him out right away," Jacob explained. “And put him on the bike and drove off. I don't know, I just kept repeating everything in my head until we got back and he tried to invite me in and I didn't feel like fucking him after all that!" Jacob's voice was raising, his eyes were tearing up. “And then he just says he wants to talk and watch a movie and do something NOT sex and I can't handle that because it wasn't meant to be a relationship and he wasn't supposed to want anything besides sex either, FUCK!"

Jacob was shaking once his rant was over, good thing he'd drank enough of the hot chocolate that it didn't spill from his trembling.

Jess let him talk until he was done.

“Oh, Jacob," she said sadly.

“I'm so fucked up," Jacob said. “Why am I like this? I can't even blame Kyle, I was always like this."

She didn't really know what to say. Good at hearing drama as she was, heartfelt advice that could help was less of a forté.

“You do care about Aiden," she said hesitantly.

“He's a pokemon," Jacob said bitterly. “Fits me that the only guy I really seem to click with on everything is a fucking pokemon."

She frowned. “You always treated the 'mons like they were just other humans," she said. “Is that where the line gets drawn then? Human enough except for this?"

“It's not me, it's society," Jacob snapped.

“The laws aren't clear," she returned and he knew that.

“Clear enough," Jacob muttered. “You should have seen people in the club when Kyle was saying it. In Luc's of all places."

“Is it something that has to be bright and public?" Jess asked. “No offence but I've never seen relationships as something to wrap your entire life around and make the forefront of your personality. Even if you were to go out with Aiden, it's not like people are going to think anything unless you start making out or have sex in the street."

Jacob's eyes were firmly set on the table, a clear indication that he wasn't here for advice but to be heard.

“Emotions suck," she said. That, of all things, cracked a smile at his lips.

“Yeah." He took another drink of the now warm chocolate. He covered his face with a hand. She didn't think much of it until she saw tears falling.

Immediately setting it down, she slid around the table and hugged him. “It's going to be okay," she said.

“He's gonna fucking hate me after what I said," Jacob muttered miserably. “I've fucked everything. We never got along, ever. He's going to think I was just using him for sex and I was, is the fucking thing, I was!"

She didn't tell him he needed to talk to Aiden, the message that he just wanted to be heard was loud and clear.

After he calmed down he finished the hot chocolate. “Thank you for not judging me," he said quietly.

“Why do you think you came around to Aiden?" Jess asked.

“Because we started having sex?"

She blinked slowly at him.

“That's all I have to give."

He said it as a justification to his answer but she heard it as a sad admittance that sex was all he could give someone in a relationship.

“I guess you two seem to match," Jess said lightly. “You're both snarky assholes with tempers. You both like Carter." He wasn't even going to ask about how she knew that. “Y'both enjoy arguing and I'm sure you can tell me, but don't, about what else you two enjoy together."

He almost smiled at her. He certainly could.

The smile faded as that thought registered, his eyes left hers as he looked at the cup.

Criminally, it had a bunch of water pokemon on it, of which included buizel and floatzel. He had a brief image of Aiden as a floatzel but that was impossible to sustain for long.

“You're talking like things are simple," Jacob sighed.

“In my view, it is."

“Well it isn't in mine."

“...aren't you tired of things always being complicated?" Jess asked, deciding to lean a little harder. “You had such a hard time getting over Carter. Kyle's still in your head. Do you really want to kick yourself over Aiden for the next however long?"

“..."

“Please, just talk to him first before making any decisions you can't take back." She met his eyes firmly, not letting him look away. “Because I know you, Jacob. You're tempted to do something to cross the line because it's easier to be hated and cut yourself out then talk. I love you little shits and I don't want to see either of you hurt."

“I just don't know what to say."

“You never really do." She shrugged. “It's part of life."

“I'm scared."

Her firmness softened, she couldn't help it. “Doesn't that tell you that it's worth trying for?"

She let that one sit in the air between them until the hot chocolate was cold.

---

Despite Jess' words, despite Carter's own, neither Jacob nor Aiden contacted the other for a couple days.

Aiden was stubbornly waiting to see if Jacob would do it and Jacob stressed over his words for hours and hours, writing, rewriting, and then scrapping a lot of things.

Aiden had another concern as well. Making sure things didn't get weird between him and Carter. He wasn't sure if it was something they just never talk about ever again but he felt like that was wrong.

That thoughts would stew if he left them unresolved.

“You know I'm not… interested in you, right?" he asked after three days.

Carter blinked, spoonful of rice to his mouth. He ate it and swallowed. “Yeah?"

“Cool."

They continued to eat before Carter cleared his throat. “What… what was it that made you…?"

Aiden shrugged, not expecting this to continue. “Dunno. You took me in, gave me this thing to talk. Never treated me as anything less. I guess that's what it was." He decided not to compliment Carter's looks, even the thought of that struck him as weird now.

“...why did you never tell me?"

Aiden snorted. “And make things weird? I knew it'd never happen. Look, I'm not saying I was in love with you or anything. A bit of a crush, I guess." And attraction but, again, he didn't need to bring that up.

Carter nodded. He'd faced a 'crush confession' from Jacob once in a similar way.

“I'm flattered," Carter said, as he had said to Jacob that day.

Aiden smirked. “You would be."

And that broke the tension, Carter relaxed and laughed. “What? Can't be happy that I have fans on both sides of the fence? Girls and guys too?" He was absolutely the kind of person to share nudes just because he was confident in his body.

Aiden shook his head, tension slipping out of his neck as well. Things would be okay between them, at least.

He went to dig in some more but his own phone dinged and his ears flicked. Aiden scurried off the table to pick it up, Carter noted that he reacted the same with every notification from his phone. He really hoped it'd be Jacob eventually.

“What?" he heard Aiden yell, sounding… difficult to figure out, actually. Loud was the best Carter could figure.

“What is it?" he called.

“Jacob texted me. Just says 'hey'. Not even capitalised, the lazy bastard."

“They auto capitalise," Carter called back. “He must have put in extra effort to do that."

Aiden came walking back, staring down at his phone like it had offended him. “Hey? That's all he says? What does that mean? Why is it lowercase? What do I say back? Carter, help me!"

Carter laughed at the distress Aiden was in, it was really cute to see him like that and he felt a wave of relief that Jacob had finally texted him.

“Just say hey back."

Aiden nodded and typed that in. Carter watched him with a smile. The translator had been costly and experimental, but he'd needed to actually teach Aiden how to read human language, no piece of tech could do that for him. It was one of the things that amazed him about that little buizel he met that one day years ago.

Could say a lot of things about Aiden and that he was persistent was absolutely one of them.

Aiden sent the message and then jittered in place before pacing around waiting on the response. “He messaged back!" he squawked.

“What's it say?"

Aiden peered. He still had the occasional bit of trouble reading and writing, requiring a couple rereads to fully grasp what he was seeing. He began to tap, walking in circles and not answering Carter.

'hey'

'Hey'

'what's up?'

'Nothin much'

'You doing anything?'

'Just chillin, eatin rice, wat bout you?'

'Nothing really'

“What do I say?" Aiden asked, showing Carter the couple of messages.

Carter read over them with a focused frown. “Uh… invite him over?"

“Really?"

“I don't know!"

“You're supposed to know your best friend!"

“Well, you're supposed to know him too!"

As they argued, Aiden's phone loaded another message.

'Can we talk?'

---

Jacob tapped a finger on his little coffee table, waiting for Aiden to turn up.

It had taken a few minutes for Aiden to agree to see him, which had been a very nerve-wracking few minutes.

He had half a mind to suggest tomorrow or something but Aiden asked when so he just said 'now'. He felt jittery, not sure what he was hoping for.

It felt like a millennium before he heard the gravel crunch of Carter's car outside and suddenly it felt like no time at all. He had no idea of what to say and needed time.

Right as he wondered if he could escape out the window, Carter opened the door: They were best friends and knocking was for strangers.

Carter smiled at him in that way that used to make Jacob swoon a little on the inside, a sort of half-smile that lit up the part of his face that Aiden could see, a flicker of happiness as well as cheekiness.

Jacob only really had eyes for the orange menace slinking in after him. Aiden looked… pretty good, he'd admit. His fur was brushed and almost shimmering, he only ever used the good conditioner after all. His fins were sky blue and his collar rested snugly around his neck.

Aiden glanced right at him as he entered, despite seeming like he wanted to stare only at Carter's lower back. There was almost a flash of envy there in Jacob but Aiden looked right at him the moment before and then they stared.

Carter drifted into his house, almost like he wanted to walk straight out the backdoor, but paused before he reached his kitchen.

“Okay," Carter said solidly, turning to Jacob. “Hi. It's good to see you, J." He swallowed, there was just a flash of awkwardness he was trying to conceal. “I'd leave you two alone to talk about stuff but history has shown that you two prefer to do other things when alone and we would be fools not to learn from the past." He leaned against the frame, crossing his arms and trying to look comfortably cool.

“So, he's going to stay right there," Aiden drawled, although he couldn't hide his surprise even in his tone. “Wh… whatever."

Carter nodded harshly. “Just act like I'm not here," he said, and then immediately added, “Uh, but only mostly. No hanky panky in front of me or I'm going to spray you both with cold water."

“We wouldn't," Jacob began.

“Like we would," Aiden said at the same time.

Then they looked at each other, remembered, and fell silent. Carter was, thankfully, blissfully unaware of any of that.

Having Carter there made things even more awkward but Jacob had to admit that it would be awkward no matter what. Aiden hovered near the door, looking unsure until Jacob patted the horrible couch and motioned for him to sit on it.

He scampered across the floor, briefly falling onto all fours, before climbing up and getting as comfortable as he could.

“So…." Aiden rubbed his paws together. “...talk?"

“Talk," Jacob said. “Although I don't really know what to say."

Was that good or bad news for Aiden? He didn't know, so he remained silent.

“Okay, I guess I… I talked to Jess. She knows, apparently Rick figured it out too and literally bet on it so if Dina and Dan haven't worked it out as well… well Dan never would."

“And Dina always figures things out," Aiden finished, getting a nod. “Huh. What did she react with?"

“Support," Jacob replied, which made Aiden brighten a little. “She already knew I… was with someone, just not about it. I went to her after coming back from the city after the fight."

Jacob looked down, playing with his fingernails. “Jess says lots of things. I don't really know how I feel about them."

“What did she say?"

“Too much to even figure out the words for," Jacob replied with a wince. It was all a storm of advice and drama couch complaints in his head. He couldn't sort them out.

They lapsed into silence.

Aiden opened his mouth, Jacob looked up, Aiden hesitated and slowly closed it, and glanced down. They both looked at Carter who was fixated on his phone and not moving an inch.

“...it was a date, you know that right?" Aiden asked, finally a touch of emotion entered his voice. A little accusing, mostly yearning that things were understood.

Jacob nodded. “I… I was pretending it wasn't." That hurt to hear. “Even though everything said it was."

“You don't want to date me?" Aiden asked, hearing the worst in what Jacob said.

“No! It's not… I don't… know," Jacob finished.

Aiden wasn't going to add more until Jacob tried a few words on his own, so they held in silence again until Jacob got the picture.

“I'm… scared about how well we click together," Jacob said at length and Aiden frowned in confusion.

“What does that mean?" he asked.

“I really like you."

“But you don't want to date me?" Aiden asked. “Is it because I'm a pokemon?"

Jacob eventually shrugged. “No… not… exactly. I won't lie, that does factor into all the confusion I'm in, because people talk and, sure, I hate my family and our friends are great but both of us could still maybe get into trouble and I'm scared of how much I like you and it's easier to be in a relationship that's just sex because then you can't get hurt."

The dam had broken and Jacob was finally talking.

“That… That's the thing ," he hissed, closing his eyes. “I hate being in love because it always fucks me up and it's not just Kyle, it was everyone. They all left; we didn't click, we got bored, I was too much. You're the only guy I've ever been with who's ever clicked with me on everything. We talk the same talk, we have fun gaming or arguing over stupid shit, you not only like to fuck me but you want it as much as I do and I'm getting so freaked out that if things change it'll ruin it and I can't let myself get attached again because you're more than just one of those guys I fucked, you're Aiden and if I lose you, I lose Carter and if I lose Carter, I lose everyone and I can't, I can't, I can't."

Jacob was hyperventilating. Aiden's mouth had fallen open and as Jacob really began to freak out he jumped across the couch to the chair. “Hey! Hey! HEY!" Yelling maybe wasn't quite the right choice but he only raised his voice slightly, grabbing Jacob's hands as they were burrowing into his own hair and pulling. “Holy fuck, Jacob. Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, listen to me."

“I'm sorry," Jacob said and the words were soft and pleading and didn't sound like they were for Aiden at all.

Aiden swallowed, having no idea what a beedrill's nest they'd kicked over. Jacob squeezed his eyes shut and then breathed, regaining himself.

He put on a smile that Aiden didn't like. “Sorry," he repeated, sounding more like himself. “Not sure where that came from," he gave a hollow little laugh.

He glanced down to Aiden, standing on his lap and just staring into his face, reading him like a book. It made him scared, made him want to close the book and set it away.

“I wasn't even sure if you liked me at all," Aiden said quietly.

“Especially after what I said last," Jacob said, understanding. About their relationship being 'just' sex. Aiden nodded.

Jacob's eyes slipped away in a flicker of shame. “I wasn't meant to. I talked about it with Jess. I 'fall' for all the guys I had casual sex with, I don't know why I mix sex and… that up in my head but it happens every time, then it doesn't work out and I hate everything. Then comes you and it feels like it's finally being returned but it's never worked out."

He sighed and picked Aiden up and set him back on the lumpy couch. “Aiden, I'm pretty fucked up. You don't… you don't want to get mixed up in all this." He gestured to himself.

“What if I do?" Aiden asked.

“I don't want to hurt you," Jacob said, beginning to sound a little vague. “I really don't, which is so weird to me now."

“Same," Aiden replied. “Although, I dunno if I ever really hated you."

Jacob glanced, just briefly, at Carter.

“He knows," Aiden sighed. Jacob looked surprised, the vagueness fading. “I told him a couple days ago. We're cool."

Carter gave a single finger gun, still pretending like he was reading something on his phone.

Jacob laughed. “Fuck. How are you more mature than I am?"

Aiden smirked and crossed his arms. “Bui-bui, motherfucker."

Jacob's smile lasted on his face and, even as the mood returned to seriousness, it didn't entirely fade. “I don't… I don't know what I really want to do," he sighed, sitting back down. “Relationships are hard."

“At least we're talking now," Aiden said.

“Yeah. I'm just reminding myself that I'm awful to date and," he raised his voice as Aiden went to object, “don't argue that. I am. I know I am."

While Aiden didn't close his mouth, he did change his words. “Well, I don't care."

Jacob smiled; it was a fragile little thing of thanks. Almost of hope too. “I do, though."

That, Aiden couldn't find words for. That was the crux of it all, wasn't it? Beyond the difficulties of making an interspecies relationship actually work in a city like this, Jacob just didn't think he himself was worth the effort.

“Can we at least try?" he asked.

“...I don't know," Jacob answered. “I think I just need some more time to think about everything. Maybe work on myself a bit."

Aiden was quiet, letting that soak in before giving a nod. “Okay." He glanced at Carter who looked up. “I guess we'll give you some space."

Jacob managed a smile and nodded. Aiden hopped off the couch and walked by Jacob, pausing and wondering if he should do anything.

Jacob leaned in and pulled Aiden into a hug. “Thanks, Aiden," he said. Aiden couldn't really hug back from his position but he leaned into it nonetheless.

Carter smiled at Jacob as he saw them out, watching as they walked to his car and drove off. He sighed, wondering how long it would take him to decide on anything.

The comfort zone was a hard thing to struggle out of.

And risks were scary.

---

Very scary.

Jacob couldn't decide on anything while things were in a 'safe' state that he was too afraid to mess with lest it shatter.

That led to silence, however.

And silence led to stress.

“I don't really know what to do," Carter said over coffee with Jess. No one else 'knew' and it wasn't their secret to tell even if everyone actually did 'know' just not for sure.

“Well, for one thing I want you to literally murder Kyle," Jess said, her tone said she wasn't joking but Carter cracked a smirk at that. “You could totally get away with it."

“Which probably means I shouldn't," Carter said.

“You could be Noibatman, just… a little more murder-y."

“I feel like I should be concerned at what you're saying." It was a fun thought to be Noibatman though. “I'm not THAT rich."

“Tch," Jess scoffed but he had her there. “That's your only argument."

He rolled her eyes, she played a seven on their game of Uno and took his hand.

“I don't know if there's anything you should do," Jess said after a few more moments of card playing.

“I could lock them in a room again?" he asked, half-jokingly. “That worked before."

“That's what started this whole thing," she retorted. “Which, credit where it's due, they're kinda adorable together. So, good job." She said it genuinely but with a directness that seemed harsh.

“Could you sound less accusatory with that?"

“I could, but I won't."

“Fair." He played a zero and their hands swapped again.

“I just want them to be happy. I've never seen either of them this happy before."

“Maybe that's what's scaring Jacob?" Jess suggested. “It's not exactly healthy to pin all your happiness on a relationship. You kinda need to be able to be apart to be together, if that makes sense?"

“I guess…."

“How's Aiden handling the radio silence?"

“I don't know," Carter said. “Which means not well. He usually tells me everything. He even told me about them, although I had to dig it out of him. And… other stuff."

Jess made a face. “I really don't need details."

“Not that!" Carter exclaimed before sighing with a chuckle. “He doesn't go that far, thankfully."

“That would be weird."

“Yes, it would." He played a three. “You think I just need to wait it out?"

“Hmm." Another three. “If I know Jacob, he'll probably sit on this for too long. It's what happened with… well a lot of them."

“I think Aiden's pretty into him."

“Is he going to wait forever?"

Carter frowned at the card pile.

“It's not fair, is it?" Jess asked.

“Relationships are hard," Carter groaned.

Jess laughed at him. “You're not even in this one and it's stressing you out!"

“Yes, but I'm nosy."

“Me too."

They finished up the game, not really even noticing who won and Jess finished her coffee. “Nothing about this is really fair on them. I'm afraid it's going to come down to 'Can we be together long-term?' And because Aiden's a pokemon…."

“That shouldn't matter!"

Jess nodded. “And I don't think it matters to Jacob but it does matter if he's going to live the way he wants to. Gay is fine these days but when you add in the pokemon… well, you really only hear about trainers like that, don't you?"

Carter frowned in consideration as he saw Jess out and off. Frowned over dinner. Frowned over video games played to keep Aiden's mind on the here and now and not away and frowned in his sleep.

He was developing an idea.

---

“You want to WHAT?"

Carter stood in front of the collected friend group. That included everyone, even Jacob had come despite knowing it meant he would see everyone he was avoiding.

Carter's proclamation shocked everyone though.

“Didn't know you'd gone deaf, Dan," Carter said with a nervous smile on his face. He wasn't scared of being the centre of attention but this was big.

“Where am I going to have parties at now?" Dan pouted.

“You literally have the key to this place," Carter said dryly. They were all keyed into the security system, could come and go as they pleased without bringing the wrath of the Jenny's upon this place.

“Is this because of me?" Jacob asked and Carter's heart hurt, he looked heartbroken.

Carter shook his head. “I actually want to take you guys with me!"

They all blinked.

“Dude, I haven't been a proper trainer in years," Rick said, he was the only one of the group who had been, which was why Napoleon was a genuine threat in battle.

“I have a job," Dina said.

“So do I and my family would literally combust," Jess added.

And Dan hated the outside world that wasn't vacation beaches and cabins in the woods.

“I… I never wanted to be a trainer," Jacob added as the last to speak.

“Doesn't mean you have to be one," Carter said, and Jess' eyes met his as she realised what he was doing.

Rick raised an eyebrow at Dina who returned it. Dan was oblivious of the group's silent communication and continued pouting. “I like having parties with you there, though."

Carter was the best wingman after all.

Carter shrugged in a 'what do you do?' motion. “I've been thinking about it for years, honestly. I'd like to bring you guys but I understand if you don't want to. It's a lot of rough living in the middle of nowhere."

“How will you survive without your fancy foods?"

“Or your butler?"

“Or being able to order anything to arrive in a few hours?"

“Remember when he ordered that bouncy castle and it just showed up two hours later?"

“That was incredible."

“I'm not a spoiled rich kid," Carter argued. “Okay, I'm absolutely a spoiled rich kid which is why I'm going in an RV decked out to the nines. I'll be travelling in style and comfort."

“...I still got a job, dude."

The announcement was there for all to hear.

Carter was going on a Pokémon Journey™.

He was leaving.

Taking Aiden.

He was leaving.

And anyone could join.

Jacob wasn't… stupid. He could see what Carter was doing. Despite the suddenness of the announcement Carter had talked about this before and he always made some sort of excuse not to do it but he loved to ask Rick for stories and followed trainers in the media.

Jacob had a job (that he hated) and not much else, beyond his friends. He loved Jess and Dina and even Dan and Rick, sometimes. Dan was off with the impidimp sometimes and Rick had lost some points due to Napoleon being a shithead.

Jacob stood, eyes were on him. “Talk?" he asked, and Carter nodded.

Aiden was nowhere in sight. It hurt a little but he understood.

He was probably packing or something.

“So, what do you think?" Carter asked on the balcony they'd talked about Kyle on. “I know it's pretty sudden, but-"

“It's not just about me?" Jacob asked, going straight for the throat of the matter and catching Carter by surprise.

He shook his head. “No. It's what's given me the kick to do it, sure, but you know I've wanted to do this for years."

And he never had.

“Why haven't you?"

“I wasn't sure if you'd want to come with me," Carter admitted. “My dreams always had us both, it didn't feel right."

Jacob, for a moment, felt bad all over again. Like he'd taken years of Carter's dream from him. He shook that off, it wasn't his fault and Carter wasn't blaming him either.

“I'm not into being a trainer," Jacob pointed out.

“I gotta have someone to take care of my pokemon!" Carter said brightly, then blinked. “Not like that."

“Like what!?"

“I…."

“Carter," Jacob said dangerously.

“Look, a distraction!" He pointed into the forest below but Jacob didn't look away.

“It was a joke," Carter said and he meant that. “To break the ice a little, hehe."

Jacob frowned deeply but couldn't hold it and smiled gratefully. “I was wondering when those would start."

“I've been thinking all sorts of them up, but… no chance to use them."

Jacob sighed. “Carter, I don't know. How is that really going to help all of this?" He gestured at himself.

“You won't have to worry about what other people think," Carter said, like it was easy. “No one will think anything and we'll be able to see awesome places and you'd cheer me on in person anyway so why not be there for the grind as well?"

Jacob bit his lip.

“Also, Jacob I… I love you both and I want you both to be happy but… Aiden's tried a lot. He has. It shouldn't be just him, I don't know what's going on in your head and that's okay, you don't need to tell me but if you do want to try with Aiden, then fuck the rest of the world. Give it a shot, risk being happy. Maybe it doesn't work but don't you want to know?"

He sighed softly. “This isn't an ultimatum. Nor am I wanting you to make a decision right now. I'll be leaving in seven days and you can change your mind for, or against, at any time."

He clapped Jacob's shoulder. “Just think about it. Now, let's go back I'll dig out Aiden as well he's trying to decide what power up items he can get off the internet to stand a chance out there."

And so Jacob thought about it.

For six days.

Six days of silence as Carter prepared to leave.

Six days.

---

“Is Jacob not coming?" Dina asked quietly.

They were all invited to see Carter and Aiden, and maybe Jacob, off. Carter treated them all to brunch and had some one-on-one talks with all his friends that left everyone a little teary but smiling.

“I'm already printing the Go Carter Go shirts," Dan said, showing a picture of the design on his phone. “Little rough, but."

“Dude, these are awesome!" Rick said, snatching the phone. “Why didn't you do this for me?"

Dan took his phone back. “Because I didn't know you yet!"

“Excuses."

“Reasons, actually."

“Carter?" Dina asked.

Carter had an expression of contentment on his face. As this was an exciting moment preparing to follow his dreams, they all knew it was a very carefully placed mask.

It had been an hour since he was set to leave, and no sign of Jacob. He fiddled with anything in his hands constantly, trying to not look like he was thinking about the obvious.

“I thought he'd at least see us off," Carter sighed. He turned to look out the window, Aiden was sitting on the RV's hood, acting as if he also wasn't waiting for someone.

Carter sighed. “You promise to take care of him?"

“As if you need to ask us that," Jess said, clapping him on the shoulder. “Want to wait a little longer because he'll be kicking himself for this later?"

Carter shook his head. “I'd like to but I don't need to upset Aiden. He'll message me eventually."

“I think a little longer won't hurt," Jess insisted. “Please, I don't want to say goodbye just yet."

Carter smiled. “It's not a goodbye, I'll literally be texting you all the time and you better show up to my important battles."

“Yeah, but… like… wait."

Carter frowned slightly. “You're not saying something." Jess was almost vibrating. She got a few dangerous looks and his frown deepened. “You're all not saying something."

He glanced around at his friends who had all fallen curiously silent before narrowing in on Dan. Dan looked horrified to be the target of his stare. “C'mon man, you can't do this to me I'll crack like an egg!"

“He does fold easily once pressure is put on him," Dina said, trying to distract with a joke.

“Funny. What is it? Is it some sort of last moment thing?"

“Okay!" Dan cracked. “Sorry I can't handle the sad in the room anymore! Jacob's just getting his stuff ready! I swear! He's coming."

“Ready? For what? What would take this long?"

Dan looked hopefully at the door, it seemed like a great moment for Jacob to walk in.

Nothing.

Jess sighed, dialling on her phone. “Jacob? Yeah, Carter's cracked Dan. What's taking so long?"

Carter blinked a lot at her as she hummed in response to whatever Jacob was saying. “Okay. He's about five minutes away. Dammit. You couldn't have lasted another five minutes, Dan?"

“My girlfriends have never complained about that!"

“Well, I'm complaining about that now!"

“You're not my girlfriend!"

“And so I don't want to spare your pitiful feelings."

“Stop being mean to me, I'm very sensitive!"

“He's… coming?" Carter asked, voice tiny and fragile.

“Of course he's coming," Dina said as they turned to Carter. “It's Jacob. He's all heart, no head."

“Not what I've heard," Rick muttered, drawing a snort from Jess.

“Fuck you, I was going to say that."

“Too slow."

“Quick draw."

“That your main joke today?"

“Yes it is."

The rumble of a motorcycle approached with a ding of a bell and Carter abandoned his other friends to race outside, right as Aiden had been startled out of his doze to glare at the car for beeping at him.

Only to realise it wasn't the RV but a motorcycle approaching. He froze up as Jacob rolled to a stop, kicking his stand out and taking his helmet off. His motorcycle was packed.

Carter raced outside as Jacob looked between the buizel on the van and the smiling man racing out.

“Sorry I'm late," Jacob said. “Paperwork is a bitch and the guy just would NOT stop talking."

“I don't care!" Carter cheered, grabbing him in a hug and nearly knocking the motorcycle over. “I'm just glad you came."

“Like I'd miss this for the world," Jacob laughed, patting Carter's back until he released him. Carter beamed at him, then noticed the motorcycle more loaded than usual.

He blinked.

“Room for a motorcycle in that beast of yours?"

It took a moment to click but then his whole face turned magic. “You're coming with!?"

“I've been settling all my 'affairs' over the last couple days."

“Dammit! You could have told me rather than making me worry!"

“I wanted it to be a surprise!"

“So. You're really coming with?" They both turned to the voice coming from below, Aiden had hopped off the RV to approach with a guarded expression on his face.

“Yeah." Jacob nodded. “If you want me to."

Aiden didn't jump for joy like Carter had, his expression was more controlled but anxious, crossing and uncrossing his arms as he tried to hold his composure. “I mean, yeah, I got no problem with-"

He yelped as Jacob suddenly grabbed him in a hug, lifting him up and holding him tightly. “I'm sorry for being all the stupid," he mumbled into Aiden's collar, their heads pressed against each other as chin laid on shoulder. “I do. I do want to try with you."

Aiden tensed in his hold at first until he couldn't hold it and he sagged. He took a shaky breath in, pressing against Jacob's neck. “Yeah?" It sounded a lot shakier than he would have liked. “I'd like to try, too."

Jacob began to feel wetness dampening his shirt and realised Aiden was crying. It made his heart ache and he pulled slightly out of the hug to face the buizel in his arms. Aiden immediately tried to cover his face, so Jacob planted a kiss on his forehead.

“I'm sorry," he said, kissing him again. “I'm so sorry for doing this to you."

Aiden let his paws fall and grabbed Jacob's head instead. “Yeah, making me love you deserves an apology."

“Yeah? Well, I love you too you little orange grump."

Aiden snorted and then pulled Jacob in for a kiss.

They heard cat-calling and cheers from the house as their friends whooped and cheered.

“About time!"

“You get that 'mon!"

“Good luck you two!"

“I'm probably almost as rich as Carter for the winnings of that bet, thanks guys!"

Carter clapped them both on the back. “Okay loverbirds, make out in the van."

“Maybe we will," Aiden shot, separating from Jacob.

“No canoodling while I'm driving."

“Fiiine."

Carter glared. “I mean that."

“He's no fun," Jacob sighed, smiling as Aiden climbed his body and sat on his shoulders.

“Now I'm the tall one," Aiden said, looking over everyone's heads.

Jacob walked to the others and hugged them all, forcing Aiden into sharing goodbyes as well.

“See you, Jacob. Bye little dude!" Dan nearly got bit for that.

“I'll miss you both, text always!" Dina grinned.

“I expect you to be a lot stronger next time. I bet Napoleon would love to actually fight you," Rick laughed.

Aiden glared. “Oh, tell him it's ON! He's a prick, by the way."

“I know," Rick replied, shaking his head. “So are you, remember."

“Right."

“Ah, padawan you have learned well," Jess pulled Aiden into the hug as well, not minding his grumbling. “Digital drama couch is always open as well. Though, you might not need it. I'd say good luck but I think just 'have fun' is a better idea. Don't scar Carter though."

“People need to stop making so many implications," Jacob mumbled into the hug.

“You'll be getting them a LOT more often now that you two are this cute together."

“Joy."

“Nurse Joy, remember that name because it'll be important."

Jacob laughed, Jess kissed his cheek and then Aiden's as well.

“Ugh, girl." Aiden scrubbed at his fur petulantly.

“Love you too, Aiden," Jess laughed, drawing another face from him. “Only in a platonic way. Not like this." She gestured and both of them groaned.

Laughing, she stepped back. “Okay, we stalled Carter for as long as we could. Get going! We'll miss you!"

“Take photos!"

“Catch cool pokemon!"

“Record everything, Jacob. Every battle, I mean. I mean ."

They waved and Jacob ducked far to get them both into the RV. Carter slid into the driver's seat and started the engine.

The three of them looked out the windows at their friends waving and cheering for them and waved back as the van began to move.

They were on their way.

Carter's mind buzzed with ideas of what was to come, while Jacob and Aiden just took up shop in a comfortable part of the RV. Carter was not kidding when he said they'd be travelling in style.

They were holding hands.

“Scared?" Aiden asked, sniffing and seeing and feeling.

“A little," Jacob admitted. “I think that's a good thing though."

“Why?"

“Means it's important," Jacob replied, squeezing Aiden's paw. He bit his lip as he looked down, Aiden looking up.

“That's too cute, lame."

“Says the adorable little buizel!"

“Well. There's no way out of this place now that we're moving!"

“Good thing I want to be here."

Jacob reached forward, wiping part of Aiden's mouth with his thumb. They met eyes as Jacob smiled. “I'm glad you approached us on that day." His hand drifted up to Aiden's ear. “And that Carter bought you that."

“You used to wish I'd shut up."

Jacob grinned. “Fuck off, Aiden."

“Fuck me yourself, you coward!"

Jacob's eyes narrowed, then he grinned and pounced.

---

But there will be smut in the next one~

Edited by the magnificent and majestic FoxBottom!