She should have known..
Story by Strypes on SoFurry
Featuring a writing prompt from r/writingprompts
She should have known. Nothing lasts forever. Especially pacts with Elder Gods.
“It’s not you, it’s me, really” he said. Well, that was what I heard, what he said was actually “Es'z fas uai, es'z ty, lyoddu” but when you’re in a long term relationship you begin to understand the subtle nuances of your significant other, even if he’s a demon.
Let me start from the beginning, I, like most girls, experimented in college - had some probably regrettable flings, dated some real douchebags, and signed up for a couple cults here and there. Looking back on it now I can safely say the cults were the most impacting to my education. It’s all fun and games when you’re propping some goat head on from the butchers onto a stake but as they (“they” being long term cult members) say, it’s a slippery slope from goat head shenanigans to self sacrifice. They couldn’t be more right.
I first met Daniel-Xth’kog the Immolater of the Young, or as I called him, Xth’kog, in my junior year on the most beautiful night! The clouds were a rich burgundy, shrouding the moonlight so that if you squinted your eyes just enough it would look like the blood rain prophecies of old. Breathtaking. I was spending my night like most college girls do; out at the old graveyard with my crew and some good old fashion black candles! We set up the ritual like we usually do, nothing had ever happened yet, but unbenounced to be we were about to ramp up the stakes.
“No goat head today? Was the butcher out?” I asked
“Dude you know I got banned from there.” said Mike (I’d go into detail describing Mike but it won’t really matter in a paragraph anyways)
“Alright so how do you expect to summon a Demon Sultan without even a goat head?”
My question was not answered. The rest of my friends surrounded me (They were goths, so really good at making things look ominous) with knives and circled in. I put up quite a fight (I swear!) but eventually I was tied up and placed in the middle of the ritual circle. I was terrified. As they started chanting I was only more and more terrified until -CRACK- the sky erupted in a cacophony of what can only be described as flesh chimes and the ritual circle became ablaze
“What’s happening?!” I screamed
“AUUUUUUUGHGHHH” retorted Mike, face melted. (I told you it wouldn’t matter)
That’s when I saw him. Tentacles blowing in the wind and mike-bits like a willow tree in Fall. His eyes were as dark as the great abyss of Nyarlothotep (It’s a demon world thing, you wouldn’t understand but suffice to say it was pretty dark). It was love at first sight. Me, an untainted body and him a total hunk of an abomination. Before Mike was even half melted I was whisked away in Xth’kog’s moist arms to the demon world (That’s not what it’s called but the real name would open your mindscape to unimaginable horrors so I’ll omit that part).
Things were going great at first, he’d go out to work, and after a tough day of torturing souls of the unredeemable I’d have some new fresh cooked meal ready for him every day (He ate the aforementioned souls but it’s the thought that counts), I’d make his catacomb (Getting fitted sheets on those is near impossible!), and even go out with him to business meetings (Demons need to network too). But after a millennia or two, problems started arising.
I slammed the door.
“Let me see your phone god damnit!” I bellowed
“E kaf's yjyf wojy o hwafy, E't o kytaf! (I don’t even have a phone, I’m a demon!)”
“Yeah I bet that’s what you tell all your hussies! Don’t forget when you left virgin remains in the garbage disposal!”
“Aw, paty af xoxy, swos qoz afy sety! (Oh, come on babe, that was one time!)”
“How can I trust you over something like that!”
“Lydoseafzwehz oly xieds af slizs, E kaf's swefn E pof xy qesw zatyafy swos kayzf's slizs ty. (Relationships are built on trust, I don't think I can be with someone that doesn't trust me.)”
“Are you serious?! You make a living selling lies to people!”
“Uai nfaq E kaf's zydd efzilofpy ofutaly (You know I don't sell insurance anymore)”
“My point still stands! How can we keep this going?!”
“Uai'ly lerws.. E swefn qy zwaidk xlyon ih. (You're right.. I think we should break up.)”
“What?! was it something I did?
“Es'z fas uai, es'z ty, lyoddu (It’s not you, it’s me, really)”
And that was that. I was broken up with by a demon. Maybe this is a little much for a missed connections advertisement, but if they have craigslist in the demon world you know where to find me Xth’kog. (Hint: See a dead cat? Probably like 100ft away or less!) I’m willing to give you a second chance if you’re willing to cease the restraining order!