Altruistic Intent - CH. 9

Story by idontwantthis on SoFurry

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Warning: This story contains female on male rape (past event) and PTSD.

This is a sequel to My Obsession which you can find here: https://www.sofurry.com/view/1611308

I hope those who read enjoy.


"Where are we going, Dad?"

You let out a quiet sigh at Amanda's question, now being the third daughter of the four to ask during the car trip. 'For such powerful ears, they sure don't want to listen', you muse. A part of you hopes this isn't as much of a problem for their teacher as it is for you.

"Like I said sweetie," you gently answer, "We're going to Ms. Ruby's home."

"But it's not school time?" she asks innocently, no doubt ready to bombard you with even more questions.

"I know, but she's just going to watch you girls for a little bit." You can hear her ask another question, but you tune it out as you focus back on the road. You still feel uncertain about this for numerous reasons. You never really intended for her to babysit the four, but to your tired mind, the idea seemed more than agreeable. You were just talking with her as you were picking the four up when the idea came up.

"Why don't you have someone watch them while you take a day off?" she asked.

You loosely remember saying something about not trusting a stranger to be alone with them in your house, though you're not sure if she saw your reasoning out of fear of a break-in or something else entirely. The buildings gradually appear more "high-end" as you approach your destination, the homes around you decorated with small garden plots and built tall with clean bricks. Your daughters immediately notice, with Amanda loudly asking, "Hey, this isn't the school!"

You struggle to hold back a chuckle, even with doubt weight down on your mind. You pull into a small parking lot a short walk away from what Ruby said was her home. As you help your daughters out of the car, you're barraged with questions with even Sally joining in.

"Dad! This isn't the school! Are we walking there because... because we have no gas?"

"Are we in a city?"

"Where are we going?"

"... Is Miss Roob going to watch us forever?"

You give them half-hearted answers as you approach the apartment building Ruby specified to you. A small set of stairs go up to the door, to which Lisa bounds up to press the doorbell... which is a good foot beyond her reach. Even with her little hops, she fails to reach it. You press the doorbell for her, causing a little chime to ring out. You quietly wait, until eventually, the door opens to reveal a casually dressed kangaroo teacher.

"Hey!" she greets warmly, giving a big smile at the four.

Your daughters seem to have... mixed reactions, with the common expression being that of mostly confusion. They're all unsure of what to do or say, almost like they're meeting a complete stranger.

"Hi, Ruby. May we come in?" you ask, hoping to break the quiet.

"Oh, of course! Wouldn't be right to leave you out there," she gestures as she allows everyone to walk inside.

You follow Ruby inside, where you find yourself somewhat impressed at the interior design. You wouldn't call it high-end, but the furniture is definitely of a higher quality than what you have. You take a seat on the couch as two of your daughters sit close to you while the others look around the room. As Ruby takes a seat across from you, you immediately ask, "You, uh, sure you don't want to be covered for this?"

"Nah, it's all fine. Don't even worry about it," she shrugs off. Another moment of silence is shared as she looks at the four quietly studying their surroundings, showing a slight smile as they look every which way. "So... there any house rules I should know about?"

'House rules?' you ponder. Outside of what you suppose the girls shouldn't do at school, you can't think of any in particular. "No, just... whatever they can't do in class, I suppose."

"Do what in class?" Amanda asks as she looks around the kitchen.

Ruby stifles a laugh and asks, "Do they know what's going on?"

"They should; I repeated it ten times on the drive here."

"All right... there anything else I should know 'fore you split?"

"Nothing comes to mind."

"Alrighty. Well, hope you have fun, I'll give ya a call if anything happens."

You return her smile and stand up, though as you approach the door you see Lisa and Megan follow behind you. You let out a slight sigh and turn around to gently say, "OK, you all stay good, girls. She'll be watching you for a little bit."

"Where are you going?" Megan asks as her eyes already begin to water.

"I told you, sweetie, Ruby's going to babysit you and your sisters. I just need to go home and wrap up some work," you say, bending down to give her a hug. "I'll be back, OK?"

"OK..."

"OK. Love you," you finish, standing back up straight before leaving the four to Ruby's care. You close the door behind you and let out a deep breath. However, as you walk back to your car, a bizarre feeling begins to well up inside you. Not good or bad, just... off. The drive back is uneventful, but that feeling never leaves. You step inside your home, placing your shoes and jacket aside as you sit down at your computer.

Time seems to slow to a crawl as you finish up your work, your mind never given a distraction with the only sound in your house being the click and clack of your keyboard. With the stillness and sheer silence from the four being away, an uncomfortable weight begins to settle on your shoulders as you nearly finish. You shut off your computer and lean back into your chair as you try to disperse the feeling by thinking about what to do next. Maybe a little fresh air could get your thoughts refocused and flowing elsewhere. You leave your workstation and open the front door, the sunlight and immediate breeze of cold air relieving the stress building up throughout your body.

You take a seat down on the porch as you take in and let out deep breaths of air. Without the confines of the house and walls surrounding you, you can hear the rustling of leaves in the trees and the faint sound of the wind around you. As you look around the quiet neighborhood, your eyes glaze over the small plot you set for yourself beside the front door. It's covered in leaves that you still need to rake, though it's still as barren as from when you first decided to start getting into gardening sometime in the late Summer. You never cared much for it initially, but with how often you've found yourself retreating outside for breaks, you figured it would be a better use of your time to be tending plants than just standing around.

You remember Lisa showing some interest with her optimistically expecting to grow a colorful rainbow of various flowers, but you held off on it with how steadily the temperatures dropped at the time. Then again, maybe you could've planted something that would last, but you hadn't looked too deeply into what would be best and what wouldn't. You start to wonder how she and her sisters are doing at Ruby's. It has been a few hours, maybe you could call and check-

'No, no,' you mentally chide, 'She's fine. They're all fine.'

'Could visit that restaurant Dad recommended later tonight before picking up the girls. It's not a place intended for little kids, and today seems to be the best day to go out,' you ponder. You think it was French. La Mosure... Fontaine? Malocaine? Either way, it should be easy to find; he told you where it was and what to look for. Though, a part of you feels guilty for not bringing the four along, even if it could be to something entirely different.

Maybe you could bring them out and just let them eat after you pick them up. At least, if Ruby hadn't fed them at that point. She did ask some time ago what they'd be fine eating, so she might cover lunch. You palm the shape of your phone through the fabric of your pants. Once again, you fight the urge, deciding against justifying the need to call out of unnecessary worry.

In the meantime, you take another lungful of the outside air as you try to think of what to do with the rest of your day before you set up a reservation. Unfortunately, nothing ultimately comes to mind. TV, movies, just browsing the Internet, taking a nap; nothing seemed more appealing than the other. Besides, you don't want to go back inside and get that feeling again. You're already starting to piece together why it feels familiar, but dwelling on the thought is the last thing you want to do on your "time off".

You consider your usual solution to calming your nerves, even hitting two birds with one stone by passing the time: drinking. With the girls at Ruby's, you could get a bottle and some other stuff you needed to pick up sooner or later at the grocery store. However, a part of you still feels uncomfortable at the thought of something happening regardless of how minuscule the chance is. One of the daughters smelling the alcohol somewhere somehow, maybe finding the bottle in the trash or outside trash; who knows. Maybe it would just be easier to hold off on the other stuff for when you need to make a grocery run and go to the bar in the meantime. Besides, it keeps you out of the house and helping you avoid potentially being anxious on top of being buzzed as you watch the clock.

With the course of action settled, you make a reservation and then head out to the bar. Just like before, it's still near empty as you enter inside. Maybe there was someone else in the bathroom, but beyond that possibility, there was the bartender and... a panda woman. After a few seconds of looking at her from afar and racking your brain, you can tell she's the same one from before when you nearly had a nervous breakdown. A pang of that same stress wells up in you but is thankfully suppressed by the overwhelming feeling of embarrassment towards yourself.

With a thankfully clearer mind, you can see in retrospect just how grossly you overreacted. Maybe it was stress, but at least now you don't feel the urge to run. However, you still prefer to keep your distance. You take a seat and ask the bartender for a-

"Hey!" a feminine voice calls out from across the bar.

Before you could turn to look, she had already closed the distance and takes a seat beside you with a drink in hand. "Been a while since I saw you. What've you been up to?"

You still feel a great unease being so close, but thankfully it doesn't completely paralyze you. "Just... finished up work on an off-day."

"Nice, actually had myself a half-shift today. Don't gotta worry about going back slightly tipsy," she grins, bearing her canines in a smile that does little to ease your worries. She takes a quick sip of her drink, leaving some visible foam on the black fur of her upper lip. There's a moment of uncomfortable silence; she's most likely expecting you to speak.

"That's nice, uh... where did you say you worked again?"

"Oh yeah, I never did say. It's a restaurant at the mall. Good enough work and free lunch and dinner are always good."

She takes another drink from her beer, leaving the cup near empty. "Ah, shit- Should probably actually say what the place is than think you already know about it," she says with a smirk, "It's, and don't laugh, Red Panda Grill. It has a side entrance outside with a little dining area near the parking lot, it's not hard to miss."

"Oh, cool," you answer, her pre-emptive warning almost causing you to snicker despite the slight unease you feel. "And... what kind of restaurant is it?"

"Well, I'm a panda, so obviously Greek," she responds, flashing you another small grin at her own joke. "Nah, it's a Chinese buffet place. Was an easy hire, especially since I know a little Chinese. ...And all the other applications fell through, but, hey, what can you do?"

You can't help but at least make an effort to return the smile with a forced-looking grin of your own, finding some humor in it despite your current situation. "Pay any decent?"

"Suppose it could be worse," she says, shrugging her shoulders a little as she nurses on the last of her drink. "S' enough to scrape by at least."

"Don't I know the feeling," you say, letting out a small sigh as you set down the drink in your hand. "Took me ages to land a gig I was happy with."

"What do you do for a living, if you don't me asking?" she says, leaning in slightly with confidence so foreign to you it makes you shift away.

"Boring stuff to the average person, I guess," you say, before taking another sharp sip of the bitter drink. "Kind of a jack of all trades, mostly web development stuff, but I fill in the gaps with tech support stuff around the workplace."

"When you said boring I thought of construction or something along those lines, honestly," she says, flagging the bartender over as she speaks. "I can respect people who do that kind of thing for a living, always seemed interesting to me. Didn't quite have the head or grades for it, though."

A quick glance to your side shows the smiling panda, clearly having a laugh at her own expense. You're not entirely sure why you're compelled to reassure a complete stranger, but you figure it's par for the course in this situation you've been thrust into. "Hell, I do it for a living and I don't feel like I have the head for it sometimes. Never know until you try, really."

"Suppose so," she says as she looks at her glass being filled. In the quiet lull of the conversation, your eyes follow hers to look at the bartender filling her drink. For just the briefest of moments, you see something in the man's face as he tops her off. Was that a glare in his eyes, or was it just his resting face that you've never paid attention to? Is it contempt? He goes back to the other corner of the bar before you could really study his face and draw a conclusion.

She takes a moment to take a drink, leaving you a moment to your thoughts. You're not sure why you're focusing on what you saw. Maybe it's the slight paranoia. Does he know something about her? Or maybe-

Realization finally strikes you as the pieces connect. Is this about her being an anthro and you being a human? Does he think she's hitting on you? Actually, is she? Or is she just being friendly? Regardless, you're almost surprised you forgot about it.

You remember your Mom telling you about a law about interspecies marriage, with focus on human and anthro relations, being passed not too long ago. She was very happy, but maybe you were out of it that day. You never minded anthros, let alone being with humans. Though you're ashamed to admit how she changed how you react to it all, but...

You mimic the panda woman and take another sip from your drink to fight off the invasive thoughts.

"Reminds me of a dumb joke, applying to stuff outta your field," she says with a smile. "They came to me and asked if I had a de- Had knowledge in theoretical physics. I tell them I have a theoretical degree in physics, and they say 'Welcome aboard'."

You chuckle as she takes another drink from her cup. "Well, it's either you try with no knowledge or you keep looking for a door to stick your foot in that offers to help you learn."

"Yeah, and there aren't a lotta doors that're open. Ah well."

You're quick to reach the end of your drink. A part of you wants another, but you know better than to give in to that desire. The panda bottoms out her own glass, setting it down on the bar with a satisfied sigh. "Well, I better stop before I... well, I guess before I get worse off," she laughs as she recognizes her own tipsiness.

"Oh, and yeah, keep forgetting names and all. Ah... don't- don't say, it's... Dave, right?"

"David," you answer.

"Awesome. Sorry, I suck with names. Don't blame you if you forgot mine."

Admittedly, you had forgotten hers, though the nametag clipped onto her shirt reading Lily makes it all the easier to find out. Before you could answer, she shoots you another grin and says, "I can see you looking and that's cheating." She chuckles as she fishes out her wallet to pay for her drink.

"Anyway, if you ever wanna stop by I'm willing to give a discount."

"Does... your restaurant support that?"

"Oh, nah, but I'm willing to spot a bit on the bill. I... think I can get away with that."

After leaving a few dollar bills on the counter, she comes to a stand with a groan. "Well, I better go. Got something to do at home; gonna sit out in the car for a bit. Was nice seeing you again, Dave- Uh, David."

You return the courtesy with your own, albeit a bit forced to maintain friendliness. "Yeah, same. I'll... consider dropping by."

She smiles. "Cool. Will see you later, then." And with a small nod and wave, she leaves the bar.

You feel... surprised. Anxious, but surprised. You're not sure if the thankfully muted anxiety is from being so close to her or the implications you came upon. Regardless, you're surprised at how well you seemed to have a grip on things throughout the whole conversation. You didn't feel like your stomach was going to turn, didn't feel your lungs light and pressing against your ribs, your hands shaking... nothing. Before you can feel proud, you wonder if it's all because today's just been a good day for you, at least mentally.

Still, a step is a step. Maybe soon you can put all of... this, behind you. You hand over your payment for the drink and leave for the car. Deciding not to risk anything, you quietly wait behind the wheel for the alcohol to get filtered out of your system. You have some time before the reservation anyway, deciding to spend the downtime to think about what else you could do with the house to yourself.

As time passes and you make a return home, you find that you don't have much in mind on what to do. You've already caught up on most adult shows whenever the girls are put to sleep, and whenever they're not you're usually too busy tending to them all to be left wondering what you should do. What you do instead to pass the time is idly browse your phone until it gets close to time. You would leave yourself to your thoughts, maybe wonder about Lily and what exactly she intends by making your acquaintance. However, you know better than to let your mind wander to other topics and ruin this good streak you have so far. Besides, even if she does intend to go down that particular avenue, she'd probably lose all interest the moment she finds out you're a father of four.

Without much else to hold you back, you leave the house for the restaurant. La Morsure Marocaine... turns out you were wrong about the last bit. After a few minutes to park and confirm your reservation, you're soon brought to your table and given a menu. The guilt you felt before is only further multiplied as you look at the empty seats around you. You don't see anything here that'd any of the four would like, at least not without some expensive guesswork, but you still hate the idea of leaving them out. Though, there's more than one reason why you hate leaving them alone.

After you make your order, you pull out your phone and eye the contact list. You haven't received a message from Ruby, though that could mean anything. You're once again left wondering if you could call and check in, maybe just to say that you'll be by soon to pick up the girls. You decide to opt for the middle ground, sending a quick text to let her know you'll be by soon. As the waiter comes by with your meal, you put away your phone, thank him, and begin to eat.

The food is exquisite; you can see why your Dad recommended the place. As you enjoy your assorted platter of greens and chicken, you can't help but think about Lily again as you try to distance your thoughts of guilt at not having the four with you. How would she react to them all? Disappointed? Upset...? ... Maybe even infuriated?

You didn't have the heart to try to explain to your mother about how shit of a chance you have at finding someone, let alone if you even want or are capable of holding any kind of relationship with a woman without cracking. You know she's pushing you to try because she cares. You know that your daughters need a mother, even if it's a step-mom, as much as they need a dad. You know that you should find someone before it becomes more awkward to introduce someone that important into their lives as they get older. You know some people, both men and women, are willing to date someone that already has a kid or even kids. But you sincerely doubt any woman, at least one that isn't a crazed psychopath bitch that wants to-

...

You clear your throat and take a sip of your cold water.

Slow breath in...

Slow breath out...

You... don't expect anyone would be willing to work with someone romantically who has to take care of four little girls all on their own. Maybe they would, but that only brings up other worries, ones thankfully separated from your earlier thoughts. Would she take care of them? Would she actually love them? Would the girls accept her as their mom? What if she's just in it out of some kind of kink?

You poke the rest of your meal with quickly depleting disinterest. You're comfortably full, thankfully before you could begin to lose your appetite. You decide to take the rest home, maybe introduce some of it to the four. Could help figure out what kind of stuff they do and don't like. After a few moments of waiting, you eventually get a to-go box and pay the waiter- ... But not before asking for the dessert menu to bring something home for the girls.

After taking a few slices of chocolate pie, you leave the restaurant and get in your car. Before you start it, your phone vibrates in your pocket. A quick reveal shows Ruby's response, aptly stating, "OK! See you in a bit." You feel relief, thankful that nothing bad seems to have happened. You have the briefest thought about how anyone could have sent the message to you, maybe even -

A violent shiver works its way down your spine. You take another quiet breath. In... and out. The drive is uneventful, your mind thankfully giving you a bit of reprieve on the quiet drive back.

You pull up to Ruby's apartment, briefly noticing the same old car from before parked close by, and approach the door. You prepare yourself for all of them to swarm you the moment you open the door as you knock your hand against the door. However, as the door opens, you don't hear the excited chatter of your daughters clamoring to tackle you in a hug. You don't even hear a peep. The door fully opens, revealing Ruby with a wide grin on her face. Before you could speak, she speaks in a hushed tone, "Hey. Keep quiet, they're right in here."

She leads you inside, revealing all four of your daughters asleep throughout the living room. Sally is asleep on the couch, Amanda and Lisa are sprawled out on the floor on top of several couch cushions, and Megan is curled up beside the mound of pillows with her stuffed toy held close to her chest.

"They fell asleep an hour ago. Already got them dinner, figured I'd ask what they'd like and they said pizza," Ruby explains as she points to the pizza boxes set aside on the kitchen counter. "Had to take a bit to explain what pizza is what to them, but they all decided on pepperoni and that seemed to make them happy."

"Thank you, that's really nice of you. Did, uh... any of them cause any problems?"

"Oh, no, not at all. Just a little... small hiccup once you left. Lil' Sally thought you were going to, heh, as she puts it... 'Go to a plane and go away somewhere like Antarctica and not come back.'" she explains, chuckling slightly.

"Ah, I think that's... from a documentary they put on. Megan wanted to see the penguins."

"Ahhh... Yeah, she, uh... well, they all got just a little spooked, but we were able to calm them down." Before you could ask her to explain, she quickly adds, "Oh, right, also had my... uh... well, my boyfriend help out. They thought for a split sec it was you coming back, heh. He's probably in the bathroom right now."

You have to admit, you're a little uncertain about having someone you haven't met watch over your daughters. But, you do trust Ruby, and even if something did happen you think one of the four would be quick to tell you. "I'm guessing that's his car out front?"

"Yeah. Looks a bit of a piece of shhh...." she starts, stopping herself as she remembers who's around her, even if asleep. "Uh... yeah, just, it looks a bit beat up but it rides nice. 'Sides, can't really rip on his ride when I don't have one of my own."

"Cool. Well, hey, I know you said not to, but I can still pay you for your time watching them," you offer as you reach into your pocket to fetch your wallet.

"Nah, nah. Already fine with covering for a friend," she insists as she holds her hand up for emphasis. "'Sides, might help a bit with wrangling them all in class alongside all the others. But for real, if you ever need help, I'm willing to lend a hand."

You once again feel conflicted about not being able to pay her back for what she's done, this time feeling like it's way more significant than declining gas money. "Hey, no, I'm fine paying you $200- Really, $250 to cover for you getting them lunch and dinner."

"Again, already fine doing it for a friend. If you wanna worry about paying me, y'can if you wanna have me watch them again in a weeks’ time. Alright?"

Despite being upset at not being able to compensate her for her time, a part of you expects that she'll continue to stubbornly deny you until you break. "Alright. Just let me know if it's ever any kind of issue. And if you can't, it's fine, I can probably check with my folks to see if they can watch."

"Sure," she answers with a smile. With payment seemingly covered, you start the slow process of gently picking up your daughters to bring to the car. You start with Megan, and as you lift her up you hear Ruby quietly whisper, "Hey, you want to take the pizza home? I can help lug it to the car."

You nod, not wanting to risk waking the snoozing bun. Quietly and carefully, you bring her to the backseat of your car as Ruby follows behind. Thankfully, she helps open the car door for you as you approach, allowing you to easily buckle her in. As you go back in to fetch the next bun, Ruby places the pizza box in the back of the car. With a slow and steady gait, you eventually get all four in the car.

"Phew. Thank you again, Ruby," you state as you close the car door.

"Like I keep telling ya, no problem. I think they all had fun, Amanda especially."

You want to offer again to give her money, but you save your breath. Instead, you say, "I'll let you know if anything happens again. Like I said, just let me know if you want me to reimburse you."

"Yeah, yeah, I will. Oh, actually, reminds me of something," she states. "You, ah, said you had folks to watch them? Just remembered a friend of mine told me about a party close to Halloween. Friend of a friend's holding it, that kinda thing. Anyway, would figure you'd take them out trick or treating, but since it's the day before, if you got the time and want to, y'can drop on by. I'll be there with a couple of friends of my own."

Admittedly, you're not really sure what to think about going to a party. Even before becoming a father, you never really had the desire to go to any kind of party. "I'll... I'll think about it," you respond, deciding to give a maybe despite the high likelihood of never going.

"Cool. Anyway, just figured I'd tell ya. Will see ya and the others tomorrow. Hope you have a safe drive back."

"Thanks, you t- y- ... You have a good night."

"Heh, you too, Dave." Flashing a quick smile, she turns around and enters her apartment, closing the door behind her. You get in the car and start the engine, looking back before you drive off in case you woke up any of the four. Sally briefly stirs but is quick to lean her head back against her seat. As you continue down the road, the scent of the food from the back of the car reaches your nose. With your mind thankfully devoid of stressful thoughts, you're left with a simple question as you think back to what Lily offered:

'I wonder if they'll mind Chinese food?'