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Fecto: Stories Untold

By: Cellidor

Chapter 3: Connection

Diary Entry, 29th R, 3034

You know...they say that going to work on Mondays is always the worst thing. It...Doesn't compare to knowing that it's one less Monday before-...no, I told myself I wouldn't write about this. But... who would I even talk to about it? Walter's the only researcher I know, and I doubt he wants to talk more about F86 than he has to. As friendly as some of the other coworkers are, I don't think they want to talk about 'that' either.

-----

I found myself staring at F86 today. I don't mean because it's my job I just...I just feel so sad for it, sitting there day in day out. Even after everything its done, the one thought I can't get out of my head is how lonely it must be. I keep telling myself that this thing is dangerous, that it's killed people and animals and all that and yet...is something wrong with me? Sympathizing with a homicidal alien? Or am I just starting to think these thoughts because of what I now know? Fuck me, this whole move and new job was supposed to be -exciting-, not soul-draining.

Diary Entry, 30th R, 3034

Had a dream about F86 last night. Not going to elaborate on it in journal, sorry. It's not about NDA, it was just...never mind.

---------------

I am going to fucking lose my mind if I have to hear that goddamn tour guide's voice one more time, earplugs or not.

Diary Entry, 35th R, 3034

...I've decided I'm going to do something a little crazy today. A little crazy because -I'm- going slightly crazy from the job. This thought I couldn't get out of my head when I had it after that dream I had.

I messaged Walter about the headbands, and apparently they only bothered to put in alarms for the tourist ones if they malfunction. That's why when we check the scientists on each of our routes we have to make sure the light is on for their band, no alarms to see otherwise, too much extra work to update all of them with everything else the labs have on their plate.

One light on the back of the headband.

A light you can't see when you're wearing a thick-ass security guard helmet.

...I may get fired for what I'm about to do today.

Just like any other day had gone, I suited up, said the usual hellos, and went about my first rotation.

That was as far as my day would be 'normal'.

During each rotation, each guard is afforded a brief window to take care of any needs as must. Bathroom breaks, calls, information exchange, all that. As it were, a bathroom break was the perfect chance to do what I wanted to do. No cameras, no spying eyes, nothing to see what I was up to.

Once I'd gotten myself into the stall, I sat down and took off the heavy helmet, setting it on my lap as I removed the headband, staring down at its glowing light.

Fired...what was the point if everything was going to end anyways? What was I saving up money for? What would there be to spend it on when the apocalypse hit? There wasn't going to be a retirement, not for me or anyone else on the planet.

I suppose that, perhaps, if the research team were successful in completing that warp-tech then there would be a new start for us but….

I shook my head.

No. I need to get those thoughts out of my head. This is...stupid. I know it's stupid, dumbest thing I've ever done in my life. I'm risking everyone's security on a whim, risking my own mind but...but it needs to know. It needs to know that someone, anyone, gives even a semblance of a shit about it in any way that isn't openly malicious or like some damn animal in a zoo.

With a little fiddling, I managed to get the band to turn off. The light, my safety, blinked away. I slipped both it and the helmet back on my head, returning to my rotations.

I was glad that the helmet's size hid my nervous glances, trying to re-assure myself as best as I could. After all, what was the worst that could happen? I was just a random guard, watching over some sleepy scientists. It's not even like I had a gun or anything like that. So what if I got mind controlled? They'd just tackle me and drag me away and that'd be that. My head sure didn't have anything of value to it like any of the scientists.

If nothing else, the rotations didn't… seem any different than they usually were for now. Nothing out of the ordinary, aside from a sort of...faint, background buzzing of sorts, just on the edge of hearing. Other than that though, I didn't really notice any changes. Hell, even when my rotation changed to me standing in front of the capsule, it seemed similar to how things had always been. Had they been worried about nothing?...Or, maybe it just wasn't thinking about anything right now? It could be it needed to focus on a mind in particular, or any number of other factors.

Yet there it sat, same as always. Staring off ahead at nothing in particular, eyes shifting here and there in its slow, lethargic routine.

It made me start to think of even crazier thoughts, like if I tried to actively get the thing's attention. Maybe giving his capsule a kick or something, only...that'd just attract attention. Or would it? Literally everyone here wore earplugs all the time because of tha-

“AND HERE WE ARE! HERE AT-"

-...Yeah, because of that. Who knows, maybe if I kicked it just right it would…

Clong….

I'd made sure to do it when the announcer was on, and even I didn't hear the noise my boot had made bumping the side of the capsule like that.

But while I hadn't heard it… he definitely had. The specimen had jolted almost imperceptibly, and for the first time since I'd begun working here...he turned his head my way. Not just looking in my direction...but directly at me. Its gaze meeting and holding my own, the background buzzing I'd been feeling the entire time more...intense, now.

I felt my heart catch in my throat, which itself had tightened up like a vice in anticipation.

I'd never seen eyes filled with so much disdain...while, at the same time, so much remorse, so much sorrow.

They were unlike any eyes I'd ever seen before, the concentric circles felt like they were burrowing right through the back of my mind. Yet despite all that, I still felt they were beautiful, in their own alien sort of way.

That's...when I heard it. A voice, not from anyone else, not from the speakers or my radio...a voice that echoed through my head like someone else was having a thought for me.

+Stupid thing. Giving me a start like that. Almost woke up from not-sleeping. Look at it, gawking. Yes, yes, stare. All you want.+

This was surreal...it was talking right to me, right into my mind, unlike anything I'd ever…

No, wait. No, it was occurring to me it wasn't doing that at all.

It wasn't talking to me, it was talking about me. Did it assume I still had a headband on like everyone else? Did it not know I could hear it? Was it not even aware that it'd made that connection to me?

+Dumb thing with your silly clothes. Looking like some kind of...dirt-shelled bug.+

The creature seemed to sigh to itself a little bit, as that intense gaze finally shifted away from me and to the crowd watching it, glancing lazily from one tourist to another.

+Then there's that one. That one is dumb. That one is a baby, an idiot baby, with it's short, idiot, uh...+

His eyes sort of went...unfocused for a moment, as if it were trying to will itself to think.

+...Spoiled-berry looking patch of torn grass.+

I had to be honest...I had never been less insulted by someone's words in my entire life. It's something I would have laughed about if it wasn't so...sad. It wasn't just a matter of what was said, but the emotion behind it...the complete lack of any emotion, really. It hadn't even been aware that I was listening, just...brainlessly passing the time by laying out whatever comments happened to drift to the forefront of its mind.

The more I listened, the more esoteric they became, some insults even being spoken in a language I didn't even understand. It drifted away from insults to just, phrases, things to say, like it was just playing with different words to...well, to make the seconds tick away.

It was enough that I wanted to reach out to him...somehow. Nothing I could do with my hands or feet, and words were out too, but…

<I'm so sorry...> I thought aloud to myself.

It was the first thing I'd actively thought since he had looked at me, and I only now realized that...however F86's powers worked...that connection hadn't ceased just because he'd looked away.

Without turning his head, one of his eyes swiveled to the side, staring directly at me as it had been before, only this time with an intensity nothing like before when he'd just been glancing about. As if he'd only just now realized that my mind wasn't blocked off to him.

And here I thought his look before had been intense.

For a moment there was just tense silence...staring at one another, before I'd hear his voice once more in my mind.

+...Oh.+

I swallowed hard, my throat feeling dry. Without thinking I...thought, some more.

<Didn't quite expect to get this far, hah...but, I couldn't stand seeing you like this, even if the most I can do is...Well, point is I'm violating a major rule here, I could get in much worse trouble than being fired, if they knew, which I mean, they shouldn't.>

My mind continued to race faster the more I 'thought-talked' if one could call it that. I did what I could to maintain my outward composure, but inside was a whole myriad of thoughts. Surely it was clear I wasn't just doing simple gawking if I'd gone to these kinds of lengths, right? He must be shocked no doubt, at this development. Every moment I was anxious, fully anticipating him to begin tearing into me verbally or perhaps try to control me in some way like Walter said. I only hoped I could get him to know I-

+Mhh.+

I blinked, staring at him. During my thought-rant I'd felt a pressure on my head for sure, coming and going in subtle waves, but at this point that seemed to fade away. F86's eye drifted away from me, instead casually looking around the room as he always did. His look seemed to float to one of the scientists working away, followed by that faint pressure returning, leaving...looking at another scientist, another ebb and flow...what, was he trying to do?

<It's just, I've been here not that long but even than I've had a chance to hear about what happened before, things about you and...how...>

He...wasn't listening. Or, at least, he was only half-listening to me. No, he kept looking from person to person and back to me, as if he were...expecting something? He didn't give off that same sort of lethargic feel, either. If I had to put it to words, it almost looked like...an animal expecting some kind of danger, like a cat with their ears raised up. He kept glancing skywards too, at some of the makeshift tech set up against the capsule.

I saw his eyes gradually closing to a more half-lidded state as he looked around, hearing his voice in my head but...more to the side, as if he were thinking to himself and I just happened to be able to listen in.

+They're good at pretending...acting like they're not watching. Why would they think I'd fall for it again?...sigh.+

Okay. Okay, so that deflated me a little bit, I could admit that much.

<'Fall for it again'?>

He thought this was some kind of...trap, of some sort? If nothing else, it told me that he wasn't able to read my mind...if he was, he'd know how far off the mark he was with why my dumb ass was here without any mental protection. Did that mean the other rumors were exaggerations too?

<Okay look. You're fractured, unarmed, and they're...exhausted. I doubt they're paying much attention to anything outside their computers, that's what I'm being paid for.>

I wasn't about to divulge sensitive information if I didn't have to, since he clearly couldn't read my mind anyways. Not like I knew any plans for a breakout in either case, but still.

<You don't have to believe me, but at the very least, if I can keep getting away with it, maybe I can break up the monotony with a voice other than?

+Again, yes.+ F86 thought back, seemingly having been only half-listening again.

+Tried to get someone to free me before. They said no. Tried to make them. Everyone got...+ His gaze shifted +...agitated. So, they blocked me out, learned how. Then let just one speak to me, so they can...see if I'll do it again. See how to stop me.+

Saying this, his gaze shifted back to me, and it had all the same heavy tiredness to it I'd come to expect.

+Yet even still I talk to you. Even knowing I'm walking right into it. Guess they got me. Fair play. Just wonder which one will push the button this time.+

His gaze drifted off again, his hands going to his legs and pulling them up to his chest just a bit more. I couldn't fathom it, even convinced this was some kind of trick, he was this starved for interaction that that didn't matter?

<The...button?>

Well that didn't sound disconcerting at all.

I felt yet more pressure on my mind, coming and going in waves occasionally. The sensation was...it was almost like a mouse tiredly swatting at the metal springs of a trap. Too tired to be coy, not bothering with tricks, just waiting for the swing of the trap if it meant getting even a bit of cheese. Anything better than starving. He spoke again.

+So, what's this one called, then?...+

<…Jordan. They call me Jordan. I know they call you ID-F86, but I'm going to guess that's not exactly your real name.>

I didn't know if talking to him was alleviating his anxiety at all, but...if he wanted to talk, I may as well. I certainly wasn't going to have come this far to abandon him now. Only now was I also considering how his voice sounded, too...or, felt, rather? It was...emotionally distant. Unlike a spoken voice, a mental one didn't carry inflections or tones, but just...a general 'feel'. His voice felt...well it wasn't great, I'll put it that way. It brought to mind bad memories of my own, having to push them back to keep focused on the conversation at hand.

+I'm...+ He paused, for a moment. Strangely, it almost seemed like he was having trouble trying to figure out what to even call himself. Maybe he'd been here so long that he'd forgotten it altogether?

+...I guess… Fecto will do for now. For now.+

A vague idea seemed to come across his mind, his gaze returning to mine.

+Oh, hey...you should tell them to make the voices louder, by the way. I'm learning some new ways to tear open rifts, and I need it to be as loud as possible for it to work right.+

I just...blinked. That complete lack of sincerity, the deadpan feel of his words, was...was this some... crude attempt at reverse psychology?

<...>

I'd almost snort. Playing it off like I were stifling a cough, I cleared my throat, not that anyone would have heard either way over the new tour group getting another loud speaker special.

<I don't think that would go well for either of us. Besides, if that voice got any louder than I might kill someone>

Fecto just tilted his head to one side.

+Ah...well, it was worth a shot, anyways.+

“EXIT IS RIGHT TO YOUR LEFT! HEAD RIGHT ON OUT THIS WAY!"

There was that familiar echo, that reverberation all around the room that died like the waves in a pond rippling down to nothing. I felt my body relax as blessed silence came back once more...and I saw that Fecto did exactly the same. I also caught him looking longingly at the tour group as they walked along through the doorway and to the next section of their tour. It occurred to me that for him, the end of the recording could well be just as bad as the beginning...each time reminding him of how utterly close to freedom he was every single day.

+Hey, not-a-trick, want to see something interesting?+

Before I had a chance to think anything, I saw Fecto begin to move. He slowly pushed himself up from the ground, standing steadily up to his full, incredibly tall height inside of the capsule.

Almost instantly, a tension rose that filled the entire room.

The other guard, watching Fecto from the other side of the capsule spoke into their radio. I reflexively put my hand on my own, but didn't say a word. No, what caught my attention was...everyone else. Half of the scientists had turned to look at him, each of the other guards in turn as well…

You could have cut the tension with the knife, but it would have had to of been a pretty sharp one at that. I hadn't even seen coffee make some of those eggheads look as alert as most of them did now.

He wasn't...actually doing anything either. He was just standing there, but that alone seemed to have everyone on a knife's edge.

+I didn't always mind people looking at me, you know. Before, anyways...+

Even over this, I could hear muffled conversation in the quiet room all around me.

'What's it doing?'

'Is it planning something?'

'I'm getting some temporal readings, somewhat higher than usual but-'

'Is it trying to make contact?'

'Contact with who?'

'Might be talking to itself again'

'Everyone's bands are green, right?'

'Teams stay at the ready'

I just...this was all insane to me. From my perspective it just seemed completely absurd.

<I...I knew everyone was on edge but this...all you did was stand up...>

I knew I couldn't blame them entirely...a lot of lives had been lost because of Fecto. Walter's father killed, my own crippled. Yet even still…

<You should sit back down. I don't want to entertain the idea of finding out whatever the hell 'the button' is, especially when you're just stretching your legs.>

I felt awful having to say it, and it made me wonder how many times he'd been sitting knees-to-chest simply because it kept everyone from panicking.

+Could be a switch. Could be a lever. Don't know. It's almost better than nothing. Almost. Only not at all.+

As I stared up at Fecto, I had one thing coming back to my mind. 'Why'? He'd invaded the planet, ended thousands of lives, be they human or animal...but why? For what purpose? Because he could? Was there some innate desire to wipe out life? How did he even get captured to begin with? I refrained from asking any of this, if only because I didn't think I'd get an actual answer...or worse, some kind of lie. There were so many unknowns.

I watched as his ears spread, flexing a little, curling in...He'd move his arms, stretching them in a slow, practice motion, as if he knew he had to move at a certain pace to not startle any of the scientists who might have control over...whatever the capsule's counter-measures were.

Finally, after a long, arduous moment...he'd sit himself back down on the bottom of the tube, if further ahead than he had been before. From there he'd slowly lean back, further and further...until he was laying fully on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

+I'm not surprised they're using you. You don't seem to know anything about what they're doing. Makes sense...+

His eyes narrowed somewhat.

+But I wish you'd stop pitying me like that.+

<I'd like to say the same, all things considered. But...>

My thoughts trailed off. I didn't want to admit how I'd been thinking about him damn near non-stop to the point of dreaming about him, I don't think that'd make him trust me any more...no, that'd...be less than helpful. It wasn't even a matter of pity, I just felt sympathy. For whatever reason, regardless of what he'd done I had sympathy in spades for this thing. Maybe it was just the environment, that it could barely remember its own name, if Fecto even was its name at all!

<...Fecto. Do you remember what you did before coming here?>

+Of course I do. I was coming here from the last planet I was on. Clearing it of life, making myself stronger. More energy. More capabilities. More practice. I was getting better, even with that voice chastising me.+

A...voice? Doing what now? Chastising? But, before that...clearing planets of life. He said that so… casually. Said it like it didn't actually mean anything. Despite myself I felt a heat in the back of my neck.

He'd sat himself up too, seeming more animated than before just thinking about his past.

+Making myself as perfect as I could be, like any organism should. Bigger rifts, finer, more...more me.+

All that, just to make himself stronger. No regard for the lives he was destroying...was the remorse I'd seen in his eyes because he'd actually felt bad about what he did...or because he got one-upped and caught?

His eyes had narrowed somewhat. It was hard not to do the same.

+Stronger...strong enough I wouldn't have had to hear it. Drown it out. Find the next goal. Reach for the next star! I had it planned out, even if it didn't go perfect I'd still have been better!+

The only thing that kept me from getting any more heated was something that caught my eye. The blackness along the edges of his body had been creeping up along the sides of his body. Just talking about his past had been making him seem more 'alive' than I'd seen him up until this point. It was getting the attention of the others, as many were still watching after his little 'standing up' trick.

<You-...Calm down. You're working everyone up again. Look, deep breathes. Breathe in.>

I had wanted to make him feel less alone, not get him hurt just from reminiscing!

Yet, he wasn't listening. At this point it was like watching a runaway train just gaining speed. He was amping himself up without thinking, and my voice was...well, just another one he could drown out.

+That's what I got for being slow! Trying to pace myself, ever listening to them! Considering for a moment to try things different but no! Now I'm here! Here as I'll always be! Here when things end, here stuck in this case! Here where I-+

His fists had clenched up by now, and anyone who hadn't been keeping an eye on him before definitely were now. I could hear mumbled chatter about raising levels of this or that, anxiety building in me the more frantic and...broken, Fecto seemed to be.

Yet, worst of all that, in the dead middle of his internal ranting, the silence of the room was suddenly broken all at once. Everyone in the room seeming to jump as all at once:

“ AND HEEEERE WE ARE!"

+aaAAAHHHHH! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! STOP IT, STOP THAT ENDLESS VOICE, STOP TALKING ABOUT ME, STOP LOOKING AT ME, STOP IT STOP IT S-+

I felt a sudden rush, a shuddering 'thhhomph' from inside of the capsule shell. There was a brief, keening whine as the machine extensions connected along the top of the capsule spun up. At once, a myriad of coloured lights streamed down into the tube, flowing energy coming from… somewhere.

As angry as Fecto had seemed, that energy felt so, so much worse. The headband didn't just block out Fecto either, I soon learned it blocked other things as well. I heat faint, unsettling whispers emanating from the intense flow of energy pouring in. That couldn't be right though, could it? No, no I was just imagining things. This was just some kind of auditory pareidolia of sorts, right?

Worse still, rather than subduing Fecto, the energy seemed to flow into him and made the blacks and reds of his body grow bigger, crawling across his body as his body seemed to grow by another inch or so in size.

Despite this apparent growth in size and energy, Fecto did relent. I head a whining sound in my head as he leaned straight onto his back again, putting his massive hands over his eyes the same way I'd seen him do a few days ago when his colouration has changed before.

+Nooooo, nonono, stopsto-haaa please, please no...a-ahh...hahh...+

Yet still the energy flowed down inside of him. Wracking his body, causing turmoil that I caught only flashes of from his mental voice. It could only have been seconds, but it felt like hours before whoever had started the machine decided to turn it off, no doubt content with its effects.

Fecto remained laying there. Shaking, breathing deeply, completely in a world of his own as he fought to push back and subdue the colouration, that foreign energy, that had been forced inside of him.

I was just...stunned. It'd all happened so fast, so much to take in here. I'd completely neglected any kind of instinct to get ready to evacuate people or anything else relating to my job. The other capsule guard, at least, seemed to have that under control.

I heard the next group finally be let inside after the energy calmed down...no doubt they'd just be told that the alien was 'sleeping' right now.

My throat felt dry, and guilt washed over my body. I would have thought that with that tangent it would have seemed less worthy of any sympathy and yet...I felt even worse for him now.

Whatever time he'd spent here had clearly taken a mental toll on him…

<...I'm...Sorry…>

It was all I could muster, before going back to work as…. 'usual', aside from the lingering tension of that episode.

While I did end up turning my headband back on before the end of my shift to avoid suspicion, all I could think of was how the memory of Fecto writhing in agony would be burned into my memory forever.

---

Diary Entry, 35th R, 3034

I feel... Guilty. And sad. I know I probably shouldn't. I KNOW I shouldn't, but he's been on my mind the past week, and now I can't sleep thinking about what happened today. I don't like whatever they did. I could have sworn the machine was talking. I couldn't even say anything afterwards other than a pathetic apology. I'm an idiot. What was I thinking? All I did was make things worse for him when I was just trying to help him pass the time. It's probably a bad idea but I guess I can try leaving my headband off again tomorrow. But maybe I shouldn't say anything to him.

I didn't have a plan. I still don't. I don't know what I'm hoping to achieve out of this. It's going to be a long night, that's for sure.