FSE

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formerly SoFurry search engine

Chapter 1

Bad News

Summertime was back, the heat, humidity and worst of all the endless perspiration. It was one of those days when walking on the pavement made the bottom of your shoes uncomfortably hot. Alex hated it, he could deal with snow, rain and frigid cold but not the heat. The Fox trudged home from his final day of high school with his head down to avoid the direct sunlight. He wasn't sure why he brought his backpack today, it's not like anything was going to happen on the last day of school and it was just making him sweat more.

Alex raised his head when he turned the corner onto the quaint side street his home was on. He tilted his baseball cap to keep the sun out of eyes as he peered down his street. He could see a figure in the distance shooting hoops. He raised a paw to block the reflection of the sun off the newly remodeled home of his neighbors, the Johnsons, as he walked up. James Johnson was the figure out front, Alex called him Jay as James Johnson was a bit of a muzzleful. Jay was a fox too of course, as were most who lived on this street. It was rare to find a neighborhood where different species lived together, most furs considered it easier to live around what they know.

"Hey Alex! Think Fast!" Jay tossed the basketball lightly towards Alex. His playful toss was met with a groan as Alex turned his body and let the basketball hit his arm and bounce weakly back to Jay. He picked up the ball and held it under his arm.

"You know it's too hot for that man," Alex raised his head to give Jay a disgruntled look.

"Oh come on, don't be a baby we just graduated from high school"

"We did, but oh wait... where were you this last week?" Alex asked with a smug look because he already knew the answer, he mimicked Jay as he replied.

"High school ended two weeks ago"

"Yeah, yeah it ended when you walked across the stage I know," Alex lowered his head and started walking towards his house again.

"Oh come on don't you want to shoot some hoops with me? Celebrate, live a little!"

"Dude it's like three hundred degrees out here, your covered in sweat you filthy animal," Alex shot back

"Oooh... Someone needs a nap haha."

"Nah I just need to get that damn letter," said Alex with a hint of nervousness in his voice. He had been waiting for months to find out if he had gotten into the university he applied to. Jay already got his acceptance letter but he was on an athletic scholarship. Alex only had his academics to rely on, four years of studying his tail off and if he didn't get in his dad would kill him.

"You mean this letter?" Jay tossed the basketball into the bushes by his home and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a letter which had been poorly re-sealed and handed it to Alex.

"This is from the university, did you open it?" Alex asked, taking the letter and removing his backpack, tossing it on the steps in front of Jay's house. They both walked over to the steps leading to the front door and sat down. Alex sat on his backpack to avoid the hot steps.

"Well I was going to open it but the guy who delivered the mail said that would be illegal... so I opened it anyway," Jay gave Alex a bright smile and brushed his tail against him, trying to get a smile out of him.

"You're a terrible fur you know that?" a half smile cleared his lips before he remembered how nervous he was. Alex used his nail to rip open the poorly re-sealed letter with minimal effort, the letter fell out, upside down and partially crumpled.

"I can see you really tried to hide your crime" Alex snickered and leaned forward to pick up the letter, catching a brief whiff of Jay's scent on the way back up. He shuddered briefly before opening the letter.

"Jeez you need to shower dude."

"Oh shut up and read it you baby."

Alex skimmed through the first few words of the letter, "congratulations on reaching this milestone... Thousands of eligible furs applied this year..." Alex felt his heart sink a little. "We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Western Tundra University (WTU)," he sighed and lowered the letter, raising his head to the blistering sun and closing his eyes to enjoy the moment.

"Feels good right?" Jay asked, remembering the similar feeling from when he read his own acceptance letter. Alex brought himself back to reality and exhaled with relief before continuing with the rest of the letter.

"Unfortunately due to budget restraints we are unable to award you an academic scholarship or any financial aid at this time, there were many eligible candidates and we encourage you to re-apply the following year." Alex stopped for a moment as a wave of emotions washed over him. He lost control for a moment, standing, almost jumping up and throwing the letter with all his strength.

"Fuck!" he yelled, he fell back down without a care in the world for the things in his bag. His right elbow on his leg and his right paw propping his head to the side towards Jay.

"Damn dude what did it say? I don't think you've ever cursed that loud before." Jay nudged Alex's leg with his, trying to get him to open up.

"I didn't get a scholarship or any financial aid, I'll never be able to afford it," the last part he almost squeaked out as his voice cracked. A mix of sadness and anger were washing back and forth inside him.

"Damn, nothing? I..." Jay paused and Alex looked at him, his eyes almost tearing up

"My dad's gonna kill me, they can't afford this and I haven't got any job lined up," reality sunk in deeper when Alex repeated his thoughts out loud, his tail had sagged beside him on the cement. He was leaning back against the blazing hot steps and sweat was building up on his lower back, but he was oblivious.

"I don't know what to say dude, maybe my dad can give you a loan? I mean he knows you're a better student than me," maybe that was the best advice Jay knew how to give Alex thought, but it wasn't working. Alex remained silent until he heard a familiar voice shout.

"Hey! Watch your language young man!" Janice, Alex's mother shouted from their front porch, "Don't make me tell your father you're yelling profanities!" his ears lowered underneath his hat instinctively.

His mother's voice grounded him again and he groaned as he leaned forward, the cool rush of air causing his spine to tingle as he stood up from the stairs and grabbed his bag.

"I'll text you ok?" Alex said to Jay before turning towards his house next door.

"Sure and I'll talk to my dad, take it easy" Jay replied as hopped the bush which separated their properties. He pulled out the basketball which was resting in the bush and tossed it to Jay who nodded in appreciation.

"Get inside now dinner's almost done and your father will be home soon," his mother said with a stern look about her. Alex headed inside of the small two bedroom home, past the kitchen to the left and living room to the right. He headed straight to the back of the home down a narrow hallway and into his room which was shared with his younger brother Joey. The amount of sweat that had gathered where he was leaning against the hot stairs was irritating him. Once in the room Alex quickly removed his hat and shirt, wiped the sweat off his lower back and took a deep breath to relax.

The room was somewhat cramped with two twin size beds, a desk, chair, laundry basket and a window. There were low dressers underneath each bed. Alex tossed his shirt into the laundry basket, smiling for a second as he thought about Jay's offer and then about his life. Alex was a little jealous, after all his best friend had it. Talent, looks, a wealthy family and a scholarship to the school he now couldn't attend.

Alex shook his head of jealous thoughts and he pulled out an old shirt Jay had handed down to him. It was a padded shirt from when his friend used to play football. It was still loose on Alex, after three years he thought he might grow into it but Jay was still bigger than him. He laid back in the bed, letting his foot dangle off, kicking it back and forth as his became lost in his mind. He took another deep breath and was quickly reminded that he was in his friends shirt, Jay's scent was still all over it despite how many times it was washed. His tail flickered occasionally across the bed as he thought of what to tell his parents. He closed his eyes, sighed and quickly fell asleep to the gentle sound of the ceiling fan spinning.

Chapter 2

Family

"Wake up," a voice softly whispered into Alex's ear, "You will be late for class hun." His eyes slowly opened, he lifted his head and looked around the room. His vision was blurry, he could tell he wasn't in his room though. The sun was shining through a large window and he could feel a cool breeze. This must be a dream he thought, he kept turning his head until he saw a dark figure getting dressed. Who is that? A wolf? I don't know any... the male figure came closer before he could finish his thought and kissed him. It was soft but meaningful, it made his fur stand up and he mewled contently. The figure started to pull away but Alex wanted more, as he tried to sit up he suddenly felt like he was falling.

Alex jerked awake and sat up, his body catching him from his dream. He looked down at the floor but wasn't saddened to realize he had woken. He sat thinking about the figure and fantasizing a little. He didn't hear the loud footsteps approaching his door until his father was standing in the doorway.

"Get up! You know better than to curse in this house but you think it's okay to-"

"Dad it was-"

"Shut your god damn muzzle when I'm talking to you boy, get out here or I'll drag you out," His father stepped back into the hallway and walked away, each step causing the floor to shake like an aftershock.

Alex knew what was next, it had become more commonplace as he got older. Alex stood up and patted the padded shirt he was wearing.

"Thank you Jay" he whispered to himself as he headed into the hallway with his head down, his ears flattened. His steps barely made an impact on the floor unlike his father who had become larger and rounder in the last few years. He had become an avid drinker and his spare time was spent wasting away in front of the T.V. with a beer in his paw.

His brother Joey walked past hurriedly towards the room once Alex was through the hallway and standing between the living room and kitchen. The bedroom door closed and his father folded his arms over his large gut. Alex stood still, his legs together and his paws folded in front of him.

"Did you get into that school son?" he asked calmer than Alex expected.

"No. I'm still-"

"Don't lie to me! I know Richard's kid from the plant already got his letter." He said with a raised voice.

"So did Jay, but that's because he plays sports dad."

"I told you to stay on the track team, but instead you sit around here studying. For what? If you don't get into that school and get that scholarship you've been goin on about I'll kick your ass," Alex rarely saw his father bare his teeth, he was getting angry quickly.

"They told me it would be a few more-" his father stepped forward with his left leg and used his right leg to kick an end table at Alex. The small wooden table hit Alex on his left thigh, causing him to wince and stumble to a kneeling position. By the time he looked back up his father was in front of him and swung his fist, striking Alex's face. He fell onto his side after yipping loudly from the pain. He could hear his father yelling but it was all indistinguishable. His left eye stung too much to open, all he saw from his right eye was his mother carry on cooking dinner. He whimpered quietly on the floor, wondering if he should tell the truth. His thoughts were interrupted by a forceful kick to the stomach. It knocked the wind out of him and he curled up as best he could, bringing his tail and legs as close to his torso as possible.

"If I find out you're lying you're gonna regret it kid, now get off the floor only animals lay on the ground." his father went over by his mother and grabbed a towel from the counter. The towel was wet from drying dishes. He bundled it up and threw it at Alex before he began a casual conversation with his wife. Alex propped himself up on his elbow and left the towel where it landed. He slowly brought himself to his feet. He kept quiet and hobbled toward the closed door at the end of the hall. Alex kept his head down as he entered and closed the door behind him. His brother Joey looked over at him while continuing to text on his phone with little effort, a frown on his face.

"Uhm... so you didn't tell him?" Joey asked.

"Tell him what? I never got a letter." Alex slowly worked his way onto his bed and realized he still had his left eye closed. He kept it closed because it was too watery to see out of anyway, he wiped his eyes gently and tried to hide a muffled sniffle.

"This," said Joey, holding out the crumpled letter from the university.

"Shit, where'd you get this?" Alex said as he grabbed the letter, slowly un-crumpling it and trying to flatten it.

"Well it was on the ground outside, you're lucky I saw it before dad did"

"I don't think it really matters at this point, I'm screwed either way."

"Dad hasn't hit you in the face before," he said with a concerned look.

"I know Joey, I need to get out of here, and so do you."

"I'm ok, really, he doesn't touch me." there was some noticeable fear in his voice.

"He didn't start hitting me until I was 16, you've only got two years and he might do the same to you..." Alex sighed and pulled the thicker padded shirt off carefully, he inhaled the scent on it one last time before tossing it back into its drawer. He gently rubbed his stomach where he was kicked and got a feel for which areas were tender. He laid back on his bed and stared up at the slowly spinning ceiling fan.

His father hadn't always been this way. They used to be a somewhat functional family. His father started drinking, wasting his income, thank god he paid the bills first. His mother has carried on like nothing's changed, as if Alex and Joey were still 10 and 6 and their father worked hard and had ambition. She ignored the abuse, pretended it never happened.

"You could always join the military, don't they pay for school?" His brother asked, he had pulled up a search on his phone for 'best ways to pay for college'. Joey handed Alex the phone and let him scroll through the results, half of them were ads for the different armed furces. Alex knew a friend who joined but didn't know anything about it.

"Do they actually pay for it, what's the catch?" Alex asked out loud even though Joey knew as little as him.

"Who knows... but I was just joking by the way," Alex looked at his brother, opening his left eye again to see if it felt better.

It didn't.

"What have I got to lose? It couldn't be worse than this right?" Alex asked rhetorically as he thought more about it.

"Really Alex? You could die, can we stop talking about it please?" his brother looked saddened by the idea so Alex agreed to drop it. He was still considering it though, and Jay's dad was in the Army for a while.

The sun had set, it was almost 8:30P.M. but all Alex could think about was leaving. Being the impulsive 18 year old he was he decided to sneak out and talk with Jay's dad about the Army.

"Joey I need a favor" Alex said while sitting up carefully and picking out a new shirt.

"Please don't tell me you're going to some recruiter's office?" Joey almost whined while asking.

"No dork the offices are closed," Alex walked over to the window and proceeded to sneak out of the room, "I'll go tomorrow first thing! Cover for me!" Alex rushed, before his brother could respond, down the side of their home under the cover of darkness and slipped into the neighbor's front yard. He was reminded of his recent injury with each step up the stairs to their home but gave the door a few knocks and waited. Alex quietly admired some of the refurbished exterior of the home, his tail swaying from side to side. He peered through the window in the door and saw a medium sized figure approaching.

"Hi Alex," Mr. Johnson said as he opened the door, "you're here for Jay right? Hold on I'll get him for-"

"Oh no sir, sorry, I was actually hoping I could talk with you for a bit, about something..." he trailed off, looking down to avoid eye contact and brushing his tail against the patio.

"Well sure that's no problem... come in, but pardon the mess please," he stepped out of the way and motioned Alex inside. Each time he entered their home it seemed to get nicer, the floor was new, a rich maple wood reflected the homes bright lighting. Their home was much larger as well but he knew where most things were, Alex headed towards the unlit study and sat in one of the nicer chairs. He almost felt guilty sitting in it, he didn't feel good enough for it. The Faux leather chair was cool, soft and somehow made him feel important.

"So what can I do for you Alex?" Mr. Johnson said as he entered the room, flicking on the wall switch and sitting in the chair across from the young fox.

"I was accepted to WTU but didn't qualify for any financial aid." he said while keeping his head down enough to hide his eye.

"Oh yes, Jay and I talked about that," he sat up in his chair and cupped his paws together, "I know you're a smart kid, and I know your situation, it's tough, but I think we can work something-"

"No, please," Alex interrupted, "I don't want any handouts, I'm not here to ask for money." he raised his head and tried to look Jay's father in the eyes. Mr. Johnson's demeanor became much more concerned when he was able to see Alex's face in the light, the swelling in his eye beginning to show clearly.

"Oh my god Alex, what happened?" he stood up and walked over to examine the injury. He guided Alex's muzzle toward the light so he could see easier.

"Your father has never hit you like this before, wait here I'm going to get some ice." he hurried off to the kitchen and Alex could hear some rustling in the distance.

"I know..." Alex murmured, responding to Mr. Johnson's statement after he had left. Alex had come next door many times to escape. Mr. Johnson was a doctor so he was well looked after. Alex had already talked with Jay's father about getting help, but at the same time didn't want to involve the police or the possibility of displacing his brother. At least here they had friends nearby. For some reason Alex felt some loyalty to his mother and father, despite these last few years he had an okay childhood. His parents weren't all bad, they just faltered somewhere down the line.

"Here," Alex turned and saw an outstretched paw holding a bag of ice. "If you keep it on ice the swelling shouldn't be too bad, now if you're not here to ask for my help what could possibly be more important?" Mr. Johnson sat back down across from Alex and leaned forward, concerned and attentive, ears at attention.

"I was doing some research and I was thinking of the Army because I can get away and get to WTU that way," Mr. Johnson's look had changed to a quizzical one, "What do you think about it, the Army that is, you served right?"

Mr. Johnson tilted his head before replying, as if he wasn't sure how to respond.

"Well it... it's not the worst thing, but I was a doctor. My experience will be very different from one you'll have. Besides, the Army is no place for a fox." What did he mean by that Alex thought, his tail flicked against the chair as he tried to comprehend it.

"No place for a fox? What do you mean?" Alex asked, genuinely confused about what it meant.

"It's complicated Alex, look..." he paused for a second to gather his thoughts, "foxes are some of the smallest canines, I mean you're only 5'3", maybe 5'4", and you probably weigh less than 130 pounds."

"I can still do anything though, I'm healthy, I can run and I'm smart. They won't turn me away just because I'm a fox." Alex said as he tried to sound confident.

"That's just it, they will try and turn you away, and very few foxes are successful in the military. It's much better suited to larger furs, dogs, wolves, equines. Foxes, raccoons, and smaller cats don't do well. Believe me when I say it's a job for larger furs." Mr. Johnson's stern look and tone forced Alex to ponder, but he was persistent.

"I think I can do it, I want to try at least. You just said a few foxes do make it."

The older fox rubbed his forehead before replying.

"I won't try to persuade you one way or another, you're old enough to make decisions and if you want I can call the processing station and vouch for you." Alex was a little shocked at the support, he wasn't used to people treating him like an adult.

"I won't let you down, I promise," Alex stood and gave his best salute with the bag of Ice still dripping from his raised paw."

"I have a condition," Mr. Johnson said, unflinching and not amused by the saluting gesture, "You can go down to that center tomorrow and join the Army or we can work out a loan for your education, but you cannot do both."

"I appreciate everything you've done for me Mr. Johnson, I just can't accept money from you after you've looked after my brother and me these past few years."

Mr. Johnson nodded, stood and patted Alex on the shoulder, they both walked out of the study and towards the front door.

"I'll call tomorrow morning, if I don't see you before you leave good luck. I mean it, you're going to need it, and keep that ice on." Alex stepped outside and turned to shake paws before parting ways, Mr. Johnson stood in the doorway and gave him a heartfelt smile before saluting him. Alex returned the smile and the salute as best he could before turning and heading down the stairs with a new pep in his step. The door closed behind him and he walked towards his home feeling confident and brimming with excitement.